Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies (56 page)

With so much private time together, didn't they feel the temptation to get entangled?

"I can't lie, I'd been attracted to him the whole time. One night he was sitting in the kitchen while I cut up limes for our drinks. I had a pile of them and held one out to him, like, `Here, you want a lime?' He leaned over, kissed me on the mouth, and put the lime in his drink. I snatched the entire pile of limes from the table and looked at him as if to say, `If that's what I get for one lime slice, what do I get for all of these?' He grabbed me and we started ferociously making out. We lost our minds and went to some kind of primal realm. It was intense and crazy, like a Dionysian ritual."

The impromptu madness in the wilderness ran its course, and Amanda drove Anton to his girlfriend's house in New York, which suited her fine. "He's a cross between Manson and Jesus and every influential person combined with a bratty rock star. To me he's like an older, spiritual mentor presence." She smiles. "We were only ever friends-with a little bit of primal thrown in."

After over four years in college, Amanda took a year off, dating, traveling, and throwing several more outrageous bashes in Bel-Air. One of her flings was with Year Long Disaster's guitarist, Daniel Davies, son of Kinks legend Dave Davies. "We drank like there was no tomorrow and wound up in Jacuzzis all over town. Daniel and I got involved romantically, in one Jacuzzi or another. Their drummer's dad was one of Led Zeppelin's producers, and when I arrived at the studio with a giant bottle of whiskey, he said, `In all my days I never met a bird who came with her own bottle. Good girl!' We all had a good time until two of them told me they were checking into a rehab clinic. I was surprised that my favorite cohorts were taking the dry road, but I wanted them to do well. It had become extreme. The week before, we busted up my car because we drank too much opium poppy tea and were blasting AC/DC along Laurel Canyon. Daniel had a scar from the bad sunburn he got when he passed out in my mom's pool. We're still great friends. The band has done much better without all the drinking. I think they'd like to see me do the same, but so far that hasn't happened."

Perhaps Amanda's most extreme days and nights are behind her. A few months ago, during a trip to Manhattan, she says she finally "met her match."

"I got trashed and wound up at the Willowz show at two thirty in the morning. A good friend of mine owns a record label and I was checking out bands, but I couldn't see two feet in front of me. You could have told me Elvis was on stage and I would have said `That's cool.' I thought the singer, Richie, looked like Neil Hagerty from Royal Trux. I was talking to his drummer, and he stepped between us, saying, `Hi, I'm Richie.' Since I was taking pictures of the bands, he asked me for my `contact info.' Now we joke that we can tell our kids, `When Daddy met Mommy he asked for her contact info.' When he tried to kiss me at the bar, I almost got hit by a drink his ex-girlfriend bass player threw at us. We ended up making out on the street, then drove all over Manhattan looking for a hotel room. We practically had sex in the cab, but finally wound up at my apartment. We hooked up that night and have been psyched on each other ever since. I knew the next day that he was going to be my boyfriend for a really long time. He is the best, most versatile guy in bed; he has so many personalities. He can seriously have sex for five hours and it's never boring."

Lucky Amanda and tireless Richie are now engaged and just got an apartment in Silver Lake that they share with the Siamese kitty he bought for her twenty-third birthday. Amanda had almost given up on getting involved with another musician who might be away on the road for months. "Luckily I met Richie, and he renewed my faith in being in love-regardless of the circumstances. But we do have a hard time. When he's away, he freaks out, imagining I'm hanging out with other guys, which I'm not. And I've gotten into my share of fights with his ex and other random girls. The band is his life, and I have my own life, and sometimes it's difficult to make them fit together. We love each other and don't want to lose what we have due to the circumstances of our lifestyle. I've never been with someone so intelligent, creative, and inspiring. He makes me want to do great things. He played me a song from the new record and I said, `Richie, you just made the most perfect song of the last thirty years. It's a good thing we're engaged, because if I didn't know you and heard this song, I'd have to go out and find the man who wrote it and marry him.'"

Size Queen of the Stars

s. Static Beth of Boston, Massachusetts, began her journey to infamy in July 2003, when she became Slud- gette of the Month at www.metalsludge.com. Fascinated by the penis chart, she began indulging her obsession by creating what she calls a "visual version" of the chart, by compiling naked photos of rock stars showing off their finest assets. If you want to take a gander at Beth's growing collection, go to www. staticbeth.com, click on "Photos," then "Naughty," and peruse the list. There's Asses ("There's so much ass on this website that the page had to be split in two"), Balls and Pubes (from Chris Cornell's "Ball Sack" to Slash's pubes), Famous Cocks, and Unsigned Cock.

Beth has just announced that she is now accepting photos from unsigned bands. As she says on her Web site,

I have decided to give some unsigned bands exposure (no pun intended) on my website. For those who have been living under a rock for the past few years, my website features cocks of famous musicians, actors, and athletes ... until now. I was inspired the other day when I was sent a cock from an aspiring musician that I talk to regularly. His picture was hotter than hell. So I thought to myself, there must be other hotties in unsigned bands looking for instant fame like this guy does. Metal Sludge exposes unsigned bands by giving them the opportunity to answer ten questions, and I will be just plain exposing them.

I do have a criteria for submissions that must be followed in order to have a picture posted.

Rules:

1. You must be in a band. If you aren't a struggling musician, I don't want to look at your cock.

2. Band members are the only people allowed to submit a picture. Pictures from disgruntled ex girlfriends, exwives, or fans are not allowed

3. The band member has to be at least eighteen years of age.

4. The band must have a Web site for verification and promotion.

5. The band member must be considered nice looking by the general public. Just because your mom says you're cute doesn't mean you really are. Anyone that looks like George Costanza or former WWE wrestler King Kong Bundy need not apply.

6. The penis must be erect in the picture. No one wants to look at your floppy dick.

Pictures will be published under the discretion of Static- Beth.com. I have a keen eye for fakes, so Photoshopped penises are not accepted.

Since my Web site (www.pameladesbarres.com) is listed among her links, I contact Static Beth to ask a few pertinent questions and thoroughly enjoy her sardonic sense of humor.

Pamela: What made you decide to create this very informative chart?

Beth: I used to have my own tiny Web page with pictures from Playgirl. I thought, "I'll just scan the pictures and put them up. It'll be cute." It started catching on. People began sending me random naked pictures of celebrities, so I bought my own domain.

Pamela: Do you mind being called a groupie?

Beth: I do have groupie boots in my closet. They haven't been out for a while.

Pamela: How did groupiedom begin for you?

Beth: Oh my God, anything for Guns N' Roses! I sent Axl a birthday card every year. I'm sick. I'm very sick. Every time I go out to L.A., I drive up his hill. I even stole his newspaper! It was in the driveway, and I thought, "I've got to grab something of his!"

Pamela: Do you have flings and relationships with rock guys?

Beth: Yes, I do. And most of my male friends are in bands. I love the lifestyle. I'm a normal girl. Only one boss knows what I do at night and a couple of coworkers. By day, I work for a news agency. Then I hang out with these guys by night. They go from city to city, they're on TV, they're in videos and all over the Internet. I try not to get too starstruck. It gives them big heads. Now it's weird because with me, they're like, "Ooh, it's Penis Girl! Static Beth!" Either they love me or they run away from me. "Oh no, you're the dick girl."

Pamela: You're renowned. How do you feel about that?

Beth: I'm not sure, but it's more amusing to me than anything.

Pamela: Do you consider yourself a size queen?

Beth: Yeah, I do. Although I think some men are intimidated by it: "If I have a small one, I sure don't want to go with her."

Pamela: Many of the guys on your site aren't that huge.

Beth: The huge ones are the exception. Not everybody looks like Tommy Lee. Phil Varone's is long, it has girth, and it's pierced. That bad boy would probably split me in half, but I enjoy looking at it. Some of them are really bad, like the Marilyn Manson ones. I'm like, "Poor guy. Poor Dita."