Letting Go (Healing Hearts) (20 page)

“I’ll think about it.”

“Do you want to come over and just hang out? Maybe we could clear the air between us?”

He expected flat-out rejection. When she said, “Sure, I’d like that,” his heart squeezed, then kicked up a notch.

“Really? Okay. So I’ll see you in a few?”

Her voice sounded breathy, light. “Yes. Bye, Dave.”

Fifteen minutes later she stood on his porch, looking as gorgeous as she had earlier that day in court. For a second he doubted the wisdom of inviting her to his home— at night and alone.

Temptation rippled through him as she strolled past him, her exotic perfume lightly wafting under his nose. She turned and stared at him, unmoving, her wide hazel-and-gold eyes shining with tears.

He froze in place. Inviting her over had been a very bad idea. If he weren’t so attracted to her, it wouldn’t be a problem. But seeing her up close and capturing her scent nearly undid his restraint. He prayed for strength.

Becoming aware that the rich aroma of fresh-brewed coffee lingered in the air, he cleared his throat. “Would you like some coffee? I just brewed a pot. Or tea? Would that be better?”

Tucking loose strands of hair around her ear, she moved across the room. “Coffee sounds great. Is it decaf?” She eased onto his leather sofa, crossed her legs, and placed her purse on the floor beside the coffee table.

“It is.”

Dave hurried to the kitchen for the coffee, then returned to the living room feeling much more under control. He’d lit a fire in the fireplace before she arrived. The side of Diane’s face glowed from the light of the roaring flames.

He set the small tray he was carrying on the coffee table in front of her. “I brought cream and sugar too.”

“That’s perfect. Thank you.”

He sat next to her, leaving a few feet between them, and propped his hands on his knees. “So what should we talk about?”

She lifted one perfectly arched brow. “You’re the one who wanted to clear the air. What do you want to talk about?”

“Hmm . . . Let’s start out with something easy like why did you decide to call me?” That topic shouldn’t be too emotionally charged.

Her cheerful smile fizzled.

Was that a bad question?

She chewed her lip, and her cheeks darkened. Glancing up at him with a sad look in her eyes, she whispered, “The weirdest thing happened to me around nine o’clock. I had this argument going on in my head. So I asked God to help me. Earlier I’d heard a voice in my head saying ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love.’ Whose voice do you think I heard?”

“Are you certain that’s what the voice said?”

She glanced up. “Yes. Am I going crazy or do you sometimes sense a nudging inside of you to do something? It was so strong. It felt weird.”

“I don’t think it’s weird. In fact, I think it’s pretty cool.”

Her full lips curled, making them look very kissable. “You do?”

“Yeah. I prayed for you on and off until nine o’clock. I sensed something was upsetting you. When I knew God had answered my prayers, I stopped. Then you called me.”

Her forehead wrinkled. “You were praying? But why would you pray for me?”

“I was worried. I had a feeling you needed prayer. Why? Were you in trouble?”

“Maybe.”

“You can tell me whatever you’re comfortable sharing and forget the rest. I don’t need to know all the details.”

“Good, because you couldn’t handle it if you knew everything about me.” Her eyes filled with tears and she glanced away.

His heart thumped, and he had the distinct sensation that he was to lead her to the Lord. His heart stopped beating for a fraction of a second. God had never spoken to him so clearly before. He knew he’d regret it if he didn’t heed His voice.

His palms grew damp as if he were preparing to make a public confession of faith. He wondered why he felt nervous. He wanted Diane to know the Lord, so why was he scared?

Dave waited until Diane turned back to him. Then he said softly, “I know Someone who desires to know everything about you. In fact, He already does.”

Her eyes widened and she swallowed. “You do? But how?”

“Jesus loves you, Diane. He wants your heart. It doesn’t matter to Him what you’ve done. Just tell Him you want to know Him, and He’ll touch your life in a way that will change you forever. You can trust Him.”

“Jesus loves me? Diane frowned. “That’s who you meant? For a minute there I thought you meant someone real.”

Dave flinched.

“I’m sorry,” she said hastily. “I didn’t mean to be sarcastic.”

Touching her cheek, he captured her full attention, certain of what he was to tell her. “The Lord wants you to know that He knows about your past. He knows everything you’ve ever done. He hurt with you when you suf—”

Diane jumped off the couch. “You’re crazy.” She held her hands out and backed away from him, nearly stumbling over the coffee table in the process.

“What?”

“You’re wrong.” She hunched over as if her stomach hurt. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

Something deep inside told him she needed his reassuring arms to hold her close. Her deep sobbing tore at his heart. When he moved closer, she held her hand out and moaned.

“Stay away from me.”

“Why does it upset you so much that God loves you?”

“Just leave me alone. You didn’t hear from God. It’s all in your mind.”

“The Lord spoke to me. He loves you. I swear that’s what He said. Why are you fighting Him? God is nothing like your real father. God’s love is perfect—”

She sobbed, “God can’t want me. He can’t.”

“But He does. He’s wanted you from the beginning.”

Backing away from him, she sprinted toward the bathroom. He followed her, but she slammed the door shut.

He leaned against the doorjamb, his heart hammering. Had he gone too far?

From inside he heard her muffled voice moaning, “God, what do you want from me?” More sobs.

He started to say something through the door but stilled at what he heard next.

“Okay, I give up,” she sobbed, “I’ll give You my heart. I know I’m not a good person. Please forgive me. I want to change. I want to have peace in my life. I’m just so tired of fighting this—of fighting You. Please, heal my heart. I need you, Jesus.”

She cried for several more minutes, and then everything grew eerily quiet. Dave’s cheeks itched from the tears rolling down his face, but he let them fall while he prayed as he’d never prayed before.

He sighed with relief when he finally heard her whisper, sniffling between the words, “I love you. I love you, Jesus.” The joy and peace in her voice made his throat tighten further.

“Thank you, Jesus. Thank you,” she whispered.

He returned to the couch, his heart doing a little dance as joy bubbled from deep within. The realization of what had just happened in her heart rendered him speechless, and his eyes welled with fresh tears.

Thank You, Lord.

*   *   *

That night, Diane slept like a babe. She awoke feeling more refreshed than she had in years.

After staring at the ceiling for several minutes, she remembered. Katia was getting married today.

She jumped up and headed for the shower, a wide grin spreading over her face. Today was her first full day as a new believer. The thought made her giggle because the only person who knew about her changed heart was Dave. The new warmth inside prompted her to skip around the room. She had never felt so free.

She decided not to distract people from Katia’s wedding celebration by sharing her news. She’d wait until later to tell her friends. Dave had already rejoiced with her. When he’d given her his Bible last night to take home and read, she’d cried.

Her heart warmed at the memory of him holding her close. In the past, she would have wanted to sleep with him the moment their hearts connected at any level, always hoping to secure a man’s love for a lifetime through physical pleasure. But this time her raw emotion didn’t make her desire intimacy with a man. Peace enveloped her instead. Jesus satisfied her soul much more than physically loving any man ever could.

She’d stayed up half the night devouring His Word. She couldn’t get enough, and yet when she woke, she still felt refreshed, peaceful.

After she finished showering and drying her hair, she glanced at her reflection. A softness appeared in her eyes that she had never seen before. She marveled at the sight.

“So this is what hope looks like.” Her eyes misted, but for once the choking emotion came from love and not self-loathing. “Thank you, Jesus, for giving me so much to live for.”

She took her time, puttering around the house once she had gotten completely ready. Last night Dave had insisted on picking her up for the wedding, so she’d accepted. He seemed to truly care about her as a person, and not just as a woman. She’d do just about anything to keep his friendship and trust.

The sound of his car approaching made her smile. She pulled on her coat, snatched up her purse and keys, and headed outside, locking the door behind her. Not bothering to button her fur, she shivered as she strolled to his car.

He climbed out and walked around the car to open her door. He stopped in front of her and whistled.

“Wow. You’re the most beautiful—um, I mean the most awesome woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Her cheeks warmed and a strange sensation filled her stomach, curling outward from within. “Thank you. So where’s Joey?”

“He was cranky so I had the housekeeper stay with him. She’s good with children, and he didn’t seem to mind. I couldn’t miss my good friend’s wedding.”

Unable to recall feeling so pure when admiring eyes gazed at her, she reveled in the sensation. Then again, everything about her relationship with Dave felt different from anything she had ever experienced before. She received his affectionate hug, and as she inhaled his scent, her heart sang.

*   *   *

Through most of the service she sensed Dave’s eyes on her. She did her best to not let him know she was fully aware of his constant attention. As they waited in the receiving line after the service, his hand slid around her waist and rested on the small of her back as if they were a couple.

When she greeted Ken, he quirked his brow. “You’re positively radiant. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.”

Smiling, she received his extended hand. “Thank you.”

When Katia glanced her way, Diane’s eyes moistened. “Your wedding was so beautiful, Katia. I’m thrilled to see you so happy.”

She wrapped her arms around her friend and gave her a gentle squeeze. When she stepped back, Katia stared at her curiously.

“Something is different about you. Are you in love?” she whispered.

“Maybe.” Diane winked.

Katia’s eyes traveled to Dave, who stood near Ken. They were having an intense conversation. Katia’s brows raised in question.

Diane shook her head. “No. Well, maybe a little.” She giggled.

Katia’s jaw dropped. “Then who?” she mouthed.

Diane checked the receiving line. The people behind them were deep in conversation and didn’t seem to care that the line had slowed. She glanced back at Katia.