Letting Go of Us (Anchored Hearts Vol. 3) (24 page)

Nodding she responded, “I’m
ready.”

I hugged her and took
another look at her. The lace dress hugged her perfectly. She wore
a long veil that would trail behind her. The dress was almost
entirely backless and would probably cause Cal to have a coronary,
in a good way. Her hair was pulled in a low side bun, accentuating
her delicate frame and features. We were forehead to forehead and
the photographer caught the moment.

“
I always wanted a
sister.”

She smiled, “Me
too!”

Her eyes began filling with
tears, “Oh no you don’t. Cock! Balls! Schlong! No tears,
Jane!”

Everyone started laughing
and I nodded at her and made my way out of the room. James clutched
my wrist and pulled me back to him.

“
Say cock again. It makes
me hot.” I shook my head as we laughed and I made my way back down
the hall.

~ JAMES ~

I watched her walk down the
hall, to where Cal was most likely waiting. She looked stunning in
that green dress. It made her look like a fairy with all its
flowing layers and I wanted to get her out of it. Slowly. I’d been
determined to wait the twenty-eight days, but when I saw her that
morning in the elevator, I couldn’t wait any longer. All my resolve
pushed away. I had also told myself I wouldn’t be with her again
until I knew she was wholly committed to us. Please, God, let her
be wholly committed.

We waited a few minutes
before it was time to walk Aunt Bev to her seat. I walked back up
the aisle and Cal and Cassidy then took their turn down the aisle
and took their places. A chill ran up my spine and as I scoured the
crowd an eerie feeling settled over me. My eyes found Smith and he
sensed it in me too. He discreetly walked out and made his way to
the back of the garden. He radioed a few guys as my eyes continued
looking over the crowd. There were close to two hundred people in
attendance. I swore to myself he’d pay if Dan ruined this day for
Jane.

The curtains closed and the
music changed. I looked behind me to see Jane and my uncle walking
my way. It was time. She was so happy and my fears about Dan were
pushed aside. I kissed her cheek as Lena told me to take my place.
It was all a little untraditional, me standing beside Jane and
Cassidy beside Cal. But, it made sense. Once I took my place across
from Cassidy and Cal, the music stopped and the minister asked
everyone to stand.

The curtains opened again
and everyone spotted Jane. There were a lot of ‘ohs’ and ‘ahs’ as
she made her way to the altar. Cassidy deserved a day like Jane was
having. One way or another I would make it happen, I just didn’t
know when. Though, I had some ideas. It was nice standing across
from Cal, watching him pledge his life to my cousin. I knew he
wouldn’t hesitate to take another dozen bullets for her. Staring at
Cassidy, she dabbed at the tears in her eyes as they threatened to
fall.

“
You may kiss your
bride.”

The cheers filled the
garden as Cal and Jane gave their audience even more to applaud.
They were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Charles and walked down the
aisle. I smiled at Cassidy and kissed her cheek when we met in the
middle. She looped her arm through mine as we followed behind the
bride and groom.

C
hapter
15
~
M
iracle

~ JAMES ~

Too soon we were all
thrown into a flurry of greetings and tasks to achieve. Dinner was
going to be a drag as Cassidy sat next to her brother and I sat
next to Jane. I wanted her close to me, needed her close. My
thoughts were interrupted when both fathers took their turn at
thanking everyone for attending.
Screw
this.
I moved my chair and sat at the end
of the table so I could be close to her. Smiling, she shook her
head at me as I joined our hands under the table.

Then the microphone was
handed to Cassidy and she stood. I let go of her hand as she took a
deep breath and unfolded a piece of paper that had been clutched in
her other hand.

“
I’ll try to make this
quick. As you all know, Cal is my big brother and he’s done his
brotherly duty well. Maybe a little too well.” The crowd laughed.
“You’re my best friend and all I’ve ever wanted for you was to find
someone as loving, kind, generous, funny, and as spectacular as you
are. I hate to break it to you, but you didn’t find that. You found
something more. Jane, where do I begin? You’re the sister I never
had and I’m so happy you’re a part of my family. I wish you nothing
but the best. May you be the anchor to keep his feet on the ground
and may he be the wings to keep your heart in the clouds. I love
you both.” Everyone clapped as she added, “Cheers to Jane and
Cal.”

The DJ took the microphone
back as Cassidy hugged Jane and Cal in turn. She sat back down and
I squeezed her hand as I leaned into her. “You’re
amazing.”

She chuckled, “It sucked.
Took me forever to write and it was lame.”

“
It’s not lame. It was
short and sweet. Everyone loved it.” I kissed her softly as she
leaned into me. “I know now’s not the time, but we need to talk.”
She looked deep in my eyes and nodded her agreement. “You should
eat first and then I want to dance with you!”

After dinner and before the
usual festivities I found Smith and chatted with him. “So nothing
suspicious?”

“
No. All my guys are here,
but nobody’s seen anything.”

“
I don’t like it. I have a
bad feeling.”

“
I know, me
too.”

Sighing, “All right. Try to
enjoy yourself. I don’t want Cassidy or Jane worried.”

“
Will do.”

About that time was the
cake cutting and Jane got Cal good with a fist full of cake to his
face. He dabbed some icing on her nose and left it at that. They
danced their first dance to two different songs. One that Cal
picked and one that Jane picked, both god awful country, before
Jane danced with her dad. I spotted Paul by the bar with Melissa
and wondered if they’d come together. Ryan and Lena were nearby as
the four of them began chatting. Looking for Cassidy, I spotted her
with her father and Lisa.

I requested some songs and
headed over to meet some of Cassidy’s family. I was given a quick
round of introductions. Some chastised us for eloping and others
encouraged our choice. Cassidy was uncomfortable with the whole
topic, but just played along with it. Soon the DJ made an
announcement as one song ended and another began.

“
This song goes out to
Cassidy. You’ll know who it’s from.”

She looked to me,
confusion in her eyes as
Miracle
by Foo Fighters
began to play. It was the song I’d played for her
on the ride back to her place after the masquerade last year. I
hoped she would remember the importance of the song. I put my open
hand out between us as she excused herself and let me lead her to
the floor.

She let me pull her in
tight and started to question me. “James?”

“
Shh, just let me dance
with you, my miracle. You’re mine, Cassidy, I need you to know
that.”

She looked into my eyes as
I stroked her face before she closed her eyes as I leaned into her.
I kissed her soft and sweet before she laid her head on my
shoulder. Her breath was sweet as I dropped my lips to her temple.
She held on tight as I sang some of the lyrics in her
ear.

I couldn’t hold it in
anymore. I knew we were supposed to wait till Monday, but she had
to know how I felt. “I love you, Cassidy. I know, I’m breaking more
rules, but you need to know. I don’t expect you to say anything in
return. You’re the only thing I want and I’m so sorry for all the
mistakes I’ve made. I hope you can see it in your heart to forgive
me one day.”

The song was ending and she
lifted her tear filled eyes to mine. “I forgive you. I forgave you
long ago. I’m so sorry for the mistakes I made.”

I placed my finger over her
lips, “I forgive you. I want us to have a fresh start, a clean
slate.” She sniffed as I asked, “Can you do that? Just nod your
head if you agree.” She nodded without hesitation. I motioned to
the DJ and he played the next song.

“
I don’t deserve
you.”

“
I’ve said it before and
I’ll say it again. You deserve more. Now kiss me.”
I Won’t Give Up
by Jason
Mraz
began playing. “I’m sorry I gave
up on us so easily. It won’t happen again.”

“
Me too.” She clung to me
until the song ended and a more upbeat tune filled the air. “I’m
going to go freshen up.”

“
Ok. I’ll be
waiting.”

As she walked away I saw
Paul follow her. I took a deep breath and didn’t intervene. As far
as I knew he still hadn’t told her that he was leaving town. I
didn’t want him to go, not really, but I understood why he felt he
had to go. When I turned toward the bar, Melissa was making her way
toward me.

“
Hey stranger.” She smiled
as she asked, “How you doing?”

“
Good, things are
good.”

“
You and Cassidy looked
cozy. I hope that’s a good sign.”

“
Me too. I think
everything’s finally going to work out.”

“
I’m happy for you. You
were right, too.”

“
Oh, about?”

“
Cassidy. I like her.” I
snorted. “Yeah, don’t get used to hearing that. I’ll never tell you
that again.”

Laughing, I asked, “That
you like her or that I was right?”

“
I plead the
fifth.”

~ PAUL ~

The month before the
wedding had been exhausting. The only thing that kept me sane was
work and the club. I worked from sunup to sundown and then
overindulged in alcohol, women and I was ashamed to say, drugs as
well. I knew I needed to reel it in and had cut myself off—from the
drugs—cold turkey. Women, well, meaningless sex, was an older habit
that I struggled to get out of. I knew Lena had expressed some
interest, and I’d told myself to stay away, though I hadn’t
listened.

I made it through the
wedding and fought to keep my eyes off of Cassidy. Of course, she
couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. I had been such a fool to think
I’d come here to find her single and available. She hadn’t been
either, but then I’d gotten my hopes up when it looked like things
wouldn’t work out. I fucked it up with fucking, like I usually did.
The one time I wanted more from a girl after fucking her—ok, second
time, but same girl—and she broke my heart. I guess it was my
penance considering what I’d done to her years ago.

I knew I had to tell her I
was leaving. She deserved that. I knew she’d done nothing wrong,
but I knew she felt otherwise. She walked into the hall while James
stayed in the ballroom. I seized the moment and called after
her.

“
Cassidy. Wait
up.”

She turned and smiled when
she saw it was me. Putting her hands on her hips, I knew she was
trying to play it cool. “What’s going on?” I walked closer, but not
too close. “Everything ok?”

I shook my head and stuffed
my hands into my pockets. “Yeah, everything’s good. Well,
considering.”

She started chewing on her
lip as her hands began to fidget. She was so damn easy to read. I
was going to miss that. She looked down to the carpet and softly
said, “I’m really sorry, Paul. I know I hurt you. It wasn’t my
intention.”

I took a step closer and
fought the urge to touch her. “Hey. I should’ve known better.
You’re married, he’s an old friend. I just couldn’t get you out of
my head and believed that
we
belonged together. It was too much pressure, for
us both.”

I could see her emotions
start to get the better of her as she struggled to apologize again.
“I really fucked things up for all of us. I’m sorry I got you
caught in the middle.”

“
I let myself get caught
in the middle.”

“
I hope you know that
you’ll always own a piece of my heart, but he occupies my soul and
I can’t let him go.”

“
I know. I won’t be around
to interfere anymore.”

Her head jerked up as she
exclaimed, “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

“
Because it is. You shine
brighter when he’s around. I knew it the minute I saw you two
together. I fought for what wasn’t mine and he won.” She started
crying and I couldn’t watch her do that and not console her. I
pulled her into my arms and reveled in the feel of her one last
time. I had to let her go, had to let go of us and the dream of her
being mine. “You’re going to be ok.”

“
I’m not worried about
me.”

She pulled away as I looked
down to her face. “I’m going to be fine.”

“
Where are your going? Am
I allowed to know?”

“
My family’s in Atlanta.
My brother’s running the business, but I know he could use my
help.”

“
Does Cal know?” I just
shook my head. “He’s going to be bummed.”