Letting Go of Us (Anchored Hearts Vol. 3) (37 page)

“
Straddle my face.” She
moaned in protest and I just said, “Do it.” With shaky legs, her
knees sat on each side of my face. “Hold the bed for support.” She
grabbed onto the headboard as my tongue slowly circled over
her.

“
Oh!”

Her eyes met mine as she
began to slowly rock against my mouth. Her pupils were dilated as I
slowly devoured her pussy. It didn’t take long before her juices
were dripping down my chin. I let her take the lead as she rocked
her pussy over my tongue and goatee. Making sure not to move my
face, I moved my hands up to her breasts as she rode out the climax
that shortly followed. It didn’t take much strength to roll her to
her back, legs still around my neck as I lapped up her juices, her
shuddering like a leaf in the wind.

I fingered her the way I
had before as she begged for me to stop. “Where there’s one,
there’s usually two and when there’s two, there’s most definitely
three.”

I left her clit alone and
worked her g-spot until she moaned like a woman possessed. Her legs
were spread wide, no energy to hold them up as her hips
occasionally flinched against me. When her grip tightened on my
fingers I gently sucked her sensitive clit. Her orgasm left her
nearly comatose. Pulling the covers out from under her, I covered
her up as she drifted off to sleep. I cleaned myself up and wanted
her again, but knew she’d be incredibly tender. Maybe in a few
hours she’d be ready for me.

~ CASSIDY ~

When I woke I was aware of
the dull ache between my legs and that I was alone. We were still
at the club so I knew he had to be close by. I used the bathroom
and got dressed to go search for him. I found him in a small
gathering room and he was talking with Misty and Roxy. SHIT! I
tried to slink out of the room before any of them spotted
me.

“
Cassidy!” Fuck. Roxy had
seen me and my chance to hide was gone.

I turned around and put a
smile on my face as I walked over. James took a sip of his drink
and winked at me. I wasn’t sure how to act. I just knew he said no
emotions and I was trying to do that. Roxy and Misty continued
their usual flirting with me and while I enjoyed it, it no longer
interested me like it had before. Trying to hide my yawn, James
took notice and put his arm around me.

“
Someone needs her sleep.
I’ll be in touch ladies.”

He escorted me back to our
room as I told myself that there was no way in hell he’d be in
touch with them. This was going to get messy and I was done with
messy. I sighed and dropped to the bed.

“
We didn’t discuss group
play.” He looked to me as I felt myself pale. “I’m not interested
in sharing you with another man, but Misty and Roxy are definitely
into you.”

“
No!”

He looked a little
surprised. “That’s it. Just no. You don’t get to decide. As my
slave…”

I dropped my head to my
hands and cut him off. “Yes, just no.”

“
Ok. It wouldn’t be
considered cheating…”

“
NO! Please drop
it.”

“
Why are you being so
wary?” He stood and glared at me as I felt the walls closing in on
me. “What don’t I know?”

Fuck! Why was he so fucking
observant? “James.”

“
Master!”

“
Fuck you!” I stood and
walked closer to him. “You wanted no emotions while we were here.
If you want to ask me at home, where it’s ok to talk about personal
things, that’s fine. But while we’re here, we’re just fucking.
Right? Wasn’t that the agreement?”

He glared at me and if he
thought I’d just lay down and take his shit he had another thing
coming. Turning me around, his arms encased me and I couldn’t move
as he breathed in my ear. “That was the agreement. Do you want me
to fuck you, again?” His hand moved to my crotch and I whimpered at
his gentle prodding. “Because you will
not
control this. I control
this
.” He released me
and took a step back. “Get your things. We’re leaving.”

~<>~<>~<>~

The next weekend we were
headed to the club again as I reflected on what’d happened after
our mild confrontation. We’d talked earlier in the week and I just
decided to let everything out. I told him that we’d separated after
the death of his mother and during that time he led me to believe
he was fucking Melissa which ultimately led to me fucking Paul. I
told him that on one occasion Misty and Roxy were part of it. He
was furious and I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. He could
only be furious if he cared, right?

After a couple days of
silence he had said he wanted to move past it and agreed to no
group play. I was shocked, but relieved. He also said he wanted to
stop the divorce proceedings and while I wanted to jump for joy
into his arms, he was still keeping me at arm’s length. I told him
we’d need to call the judge and Annie, but that it was up to him to
do so.

It almost seemed too easy,
like I was waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. But
life was short and I didn’t want to fight about it. We’d fought
enough. I just prayed he wasn’t playing me.

C
hapter
22
~
D
esperate

~ CASSIDY ~

It was September. I had
grown accustomed to our arrangement and easily made it through the
days, knowing that come the nights and weekends I’d have my Beast
and Master back. Though, I missed kissing him more than I could
admit.

“
Any requests for
tonight?” I looked over to him and wondered how far I could push
him.

“
I’d love to dance with
you, first.” He observed me quietly and said he’d think about
it.

We arrived at the club a
few minutes later and he escorted me to the dance club instead of
directly downstairs. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as he
ordered me a drink and smiled back at me. He was being affectionate
and I had a hard time remembering that it only happened in the
club. His hand was caressing my back and he held my hand when he
led me to the dance floor. It would’ve been all too easy for me to
lose myself in him. And I did, knowing the club was the only place
I could do so.

Dancing was clearly
something he was able to do before the amnesia. He grinded up
against me like a pro and I grinded back, losing myself in the
music and not him—or so I told myself. A few songs later we headed
downstairs, clearly both primed and ready for action. He had
demanded silence that night and I was playing along, eager to let
my other senses guide me. I’d also gotten good at
compartmentalizing, too. While at the club I only referred to him
as Master and not James. It helped.

I was blindfolded, hands
tied behind my back, the way he liked it. Master leaned in and I
could feel his breath on my forehead. His hand turned my chin up,
slowly. I inhaled his sweet breath and something inside me shifted,
yearned to touch him, ached to kiss him, and look upon him more
than the other nights. My tongue licked my lips, without permission
to do so. I knew the rules. No kissing, no talking, always
blindfolded and no emotions. Just pleasure. We had an agreement.
Fuck, if he wasn’t evoking emotions from me, this man whom didn’t
know me like he once had. It wasn’t supposed to happen.

“
Little bird…” My footing
was compromised when his body pressed up against mine, his lips
hovered above mine and he abruptly stepped away. His arms braced my
shoulders as I felt his breath against my lips once
more.

He backed me up against the
wall as a shudder ran through me. He was going to kiss me and if he
kissed me I wouldn’t be able to go back. “Please don’t.”

“
I said no talking.” His
hands held my hips as he pressed his groin into me and his mouth
traveled my neck. I was vaguely aware of my fingernails digging
into the palms of my hands when he asked, “Don’t what?” His voice
was deep and soft and turned my insides to mush. His lips kissed my
cheek, across to my ear and back again.

“
James, please. You may
not remember what your kisses did to me, but I remember. Please
don’t kiss me if it’s only something you want for tonight. I
can’t…”

“
Can’t what?”

“
You’re right. Kisses
evoke emotion. I can’t kiss you and not fall in love with you all
over again.”

I didn’t expect what
happened next. I knew he’d walk away from me, get himself under
control and we’d go back to our no kissing arrangement. Instead his
lips crucified my own. My arms strained behind my back, desperate
to touch him. My chest hurt as my heart constricted. I was
dreaming. There was no way he was really kissing me. When he pulled
away he took my blindfold with him. My eyes remained closed, I
couldn’t look at him.

He stroked my face, down my
neck and across the top of my chest. His hands cupped my face as
his thumbs moved across my cheekbones and then over my lips. He
brought his mouth down to mine again and when his tongue licked at
the seam of my lips I whimpered. Pulling back, he wiped the tears
falling from my closed eyes.

“
Cassidy, look at me.” I
hesitated before opening my eyes. “Why are you crying?” He quickly
unbound my hands and looked in my eyes awaiting my
answer.

“
Because this isn’t
real.”

He held my wrists between
his hands and then kissed each hand. “What if it was real?” His
green eyes penetrated my soul. He was killing me.

My chest heaved as my words
came out in broken breaths. “If it was real I’d tell you that I was
falling in love with you, again. I loved you then and I love you
now.” He just stared at me and I wasn’t sure if he was in shock,
angry, confused. I couldn’t tell. “And if it was real you’d tell me
emotions just get in the way. So, let’s go back to our agreement.
You never kissed me, it didn’t happen.”

A wicked grin spread across
his lips and my breath caught, scared to death at what he might
say. “If it was real I’d tell you that I was falling in love with
you, too. My memory of you, of us is almost non-existent, warped,
scattered, but I’m falling for you, Cassidy.”

I shook my head, “But it
isn’t real…”

His lips closed over mine
as he whispered, “It is real.” I stared into his eyes, looking back
and forth between each green globe. “I love you, Cassidy.” He
smiled.

I let out a short laugh as
the tears fell, but they were happy tears and I threw my arms
around his neck. “I love you, James. Promise me it’s
real.”

“
Promise. Now kiss
me.”

I leaned in slowly and
kissed his full lips. He lifted me up and held me above him, his
arms around my ass. Pulling the tie from his hair, I did what I’d
wanted to do for weeks on end. I tangled my fingers in his dark
chocolate locks and tugged as I heard the growl I loved so much. He
sat down on the couch as I straddled his lap.

Breaking the kiss he asked,
“Do you want to go home?”

I smiled, “I love it here,
being here with you, but yes. Take me home.” He set my feet on the
floor and I put my hand on his chest, “Only if you’re moving back
into our bedroom.”

Shrugging his shoulder he
sighed deeply.
Shit!
“If I have to.” He winked and I smacked his chest. “Get
dressed. I’m taking you home and we’ll continue this there.” He
smacked my ass as I turned to get dressed.

He’d been kinder and
gentler with me when we were at home, but my punishment—which we
both knew wasn’t really punishment—at the club had grown more
severe. He’d been pushing my limits with different kinds of bondage
and I was growing fond of rope and the many knots he was able to
tie around my body. Had his walls been breaking down this whole
time, me oblivious to it?

He took a detour as we
headed home and pulled into the alcove he always used to, when he
remembered me. When he got out of the truck, I waited for him to
open my door. He offered me his hand and I hopped out of the truck.
It was a warm September night and it smelled like it might rain. He
dropped the tailgate and pulled me back against him as we stared at
the stars in the sky.

“
I’ve never brought anyone
here before, but something’s been nagging at me to bring you here.”
His chin was resting on the top of my head as he pulled me a little
closer.

“
I hate to break it to
you, but you used to bring me here.” He turned me to face him.
“Sorry.”

He shook his head, “Don’t
be sorry. That makes me happy. Did I ever tell you why I loved this
spot?” I shook my head. If the place had importance to him I was
clueless about it. “Jason and I used to come here in high school.”
He was staring into the field below us as he pointed. “We learned
how to play football in that field as kids and partied here when we
were teens.”

Turning, I dropped my head
to his chest and held him. He’d never confided that in me. And
while this new-old James didn’t remember me, he opened up to me
easier than my original James had. We’d discussed his time in the
Army a lot since the accident and he did it freely. We got to know
each other on a level that had never happened and probably wouldn’t
have had the accident not happened.