Letting Go of Us (Anchored Hearts Vol. 3) (31 page)

“
I forgot to
order.”

Sighing, “What am I going
to do with you?”

“
Feed me
hopefully!”

Giggling she said, “I have
some snacks or I can run down to the cafeteria and get you
something warm to eat.”

“
It’s going to be late
soon. Do you have to work tomorrow?”

“
Nah. I’m good. Melissa
has it covered. We need to get you home and settled.”

“
Melissa?” What were the
odds that we were even thinking about the same Melissa? I couldn’t
imagine that she was working with the girl I was—used to
be—screwing. This time lapse was bound to get me in
trouble.

She sat up, “Yeah.
Something else you don’t know. Melissa and I work together.” She
started laughing, I’m sure it was in response to the look on my
face. “Relax, I know about your history and she was on my shit list
for a while. That’s all I’m saying about that for now.”

~<>~<>~<>~

The next morning I was
released from the hospital. Cassidy was there to take me home.
Funny how I didn’t even know where ‘home’ was. We walked out of the
hospital and her mustang was pulled up in the valet lane. It was a
sweet ride and I was eager to drive it, though I wasn’t about to
over step my bounds. We both buckled up before she pulled out of
the hospital.

“
Nice ride.”

She smirked, “Thanks. It
was a gift,” she paused and looked to me before adding, “from
you.”

“
Really? I have good
taste!”

“
Ha. I picked it out. You
were driving foreign when we met and now you have a Ford
pickup.”

“
What? Why?”

She giggled and shrugged
her shoulders. “My Ford love rubbed off on you is my guess.” Before
I could respond, she pulled onto the freeway and opened her up.
“Hang on!”

She gripped the stick like
a pro as she flew down the freeway. It was a miracle that she
wasn’t pulled over. Soon, she was exiting and headed toward a part
of town I was fond of. I figured out almost immediately where she
was headed. The townhouse. The last I recalled I was in the process
of gutting the place. It was my baby, my side project and what I
worked on in my down time.

When she pulled in the
drive, the outside changes were well evident. It looked great. “So,
we live here?” She just nodded and got out of the car. When I
walked around the back of the car, I spotted the license plate.
“MRSJB3? Really?”

“
Really!” She walked up
the few steps to the front door and sniggered over her shoulder.
“That was all you, too!”

“
I hate that
nickname.”

“
I know, but I like it!”
She winked and walked in the front door.

“
Wow. I really did it.”
She smiled at me before walking into the kitchen. “So, how did we
both end up here? Did you move in after we got married? It wasn’t
my plan to keep the place.”

“
That’s another funny
story that I still don’t have all the details to. I rented the
place from your Aunt Bev, thinking she was my landlord. Your
cousin, Jane, later told me that you were the landlord.” Her
revelation baffled me. “I’m still not really sure what your
intentions were, but it doesn’t matter now.”

“
Wow. I surprise
myself.”

“
Hopefully that’s a good
thing.” I smiled and nodded.

There was a knock on the
door and when I saw Jane on the other side I was surprised and
happy to see her. Apparently she was happier. She threw her arms
around me with some guy covered in tattoos hovering behind
her.

“
Jane! What are you doing
here?”

She leaned back and was
examining me. Looking to Cassidy she scolded, “Why didn’t you call
us? Are you ok?”

Looking to Cassidy she
nodded, shrugged her shoulders and said, “It was your honeymoon and
we’re both alive. I didn’t want to worry you.”

Honeymoon? To
this
guy? “Fuck. I’ve
missed a lot.”

Jane and—whomever he
was—walked in as I sat down on the couch and Jane joined me. “It’s
true? You don’t remember?” I just shook my head. “Oh,
God.”

Jane was married and I
wanted details. “So, fill me in. Who’s this guy?” Her guy smirked
at me and his eyes seemed familiar.

“
Well, this is Cal my
husband and your brother-in-law.” That’s right. Cassidy had
mentioned that her brother married my cousin. Was that weird? I
didn’t have time to think about it.

I looked to him and he
smiled, they had the same eyes, that’s why they seemed familiar. I
stood and held my hand out. He shook it as I said, “Cal, right?
Nice to meet you. Well, you know what I mean.”

“
I do. I’ll give you two a
few minutes while I chat with my sister.” Jane and I nodded as Cal
followed Cassidy upstairs.

~ CASSIDY ~

I walked into the bedroom
and looked around. Smith and I had moved the majority of James
clothes back in the day before. He’d never know he hadn’t been
staying there. I felt guilty, like I was pulling one over on him. I
walked to the bed and sat down as Cal followed. He sat in the chair
across from me and leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

“
So he really doesn’t
remember anything?” I just shook my head. “How far
back?”

“
He thinks it’s 2011. He’s
lost everything and anything that had to do with us. How do I get
him back, Cal?”

“
You have him back. You
guys mended things, right? Before everything?” I nodded. “Fuck! If
that asshole wasn’t dead. I should’ve been there.”

“
It’s not your fault,
Cal.”

“
I spoke to Frank. You’re
sure you’re ok? I can’t believe what he did.”

“
I’m ok. I really don’t
want to talk about it. It’s too disturbing and fucked up.” I saw
his face change and remembered what Jane’s ex had done to her and
Cal must’ve assumed. “No! He didn’t get a chance.”

He dropped his head to his
hands as he grumbled, “Thank, God.” He muttered something else, but
I didn’t catch it. Then he asked, “So, how’s this supposed to
work?” He motioned around the room and I knew what he
meant.

I tried to clear my throat,
but it didn’t help. “I don’t know. I remember everything about him,
he just knows I’m his wife.” I was picking at my fingers, while
saying, “I don’t know what he’ll expect from me. I don’t know if I
can give myself over to him again and risk losing him,
Cal.”

He looked at me for a
moment before his eyes drifted over the room. “So, set some
boundaries. I know it’s easier for us men to separate emotions from
sex. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. I know how important
he is to you.”

“
Am I being punished?” I
started crying and he got up to sit next to me. “I hurt him and I
don’t know what’s worse, that he knew and did nothing or that he
doesn’t remember anything now.”

“
Hey. Shh. You’re not
being punished.”

“
Do I tell him? I mean.
What the fuck? ‘Hey, thought you should know that I cheated on
you—but you knew—and you let me believe you were cheating, too,
when you weren’t’.” I stood up and peeked into the hall and quietly
closed my door and turned back to Cal. “Who would believe that?
It’s a little far-fetched.”

“
I hadn’t thought about it
that way.” He took a big breath and admitted, “I don’t know what to
tell you, Cass. I want to believe that everything will come out in
the wash, if he remembers.”

I know that I paled as I
said more to myself than to Cal, “I can’t live with that secret for
the rest of my life.”

“
It was a complicated and
messed up situation. We can ALL testify to that. You slept with
Paul, an old boyfriend when James
abandoned
you.” He scrunched his
eyebrows together at the look of remorse on my face. “It was
just
Paul, right?
Cassidy!”

“
It’s
complicated.”

“
Jesus Christ. Who?” My
eyes bulged as I knew he really didn’t want to know. “No, never
mind. I don’t want to know. I might go to jail when I break his
jaw.” He walked back to the chair and sat down.

Little did he know it
wasn’t a man, but two women I slept with, while with Paul. I shook
the memory away as someone knocked on the door. I opened it and saw
Jane standing there.

“
Am I
interrupting?”

“
No.”

“
Good! Cal, go chat with
James. Cassidy and I have some catching up to do.”

My brother smirked at her
and stood from his chair. “Yes ma’am.” He closed the door behind
him and left Jane and I to our girl talk. We sat on the bed facing
each other. She could tell by the look on my face that I was barely
holding on.

Putting a hand on my knee,
she said softly, “I’m so sorry, Cassidy. Is there anything I can
do?”

I shook my head as I
sniffed, “No. If I think of anything, I’ll let you
know.”

“
He feels terrible. His
top concern is you.” That surprised me as she smiled, “I think
that’s a good sign. Somewhere deep down, he remembers how important
you are to him.”

Sighing, “I know I’m over
complicating things, but I don’t know how to be around
him.”

“
What do you
mean?”

“
Well, he’s your cousin.
I’m not sure you want to hear about it.”

Rolling her eyes she
insisted, “Just spill it. What is it that has you
worried?”

“
Do I sleep with him? I
mean, I want to, but we haven’t even kissed. And I don’t just mean
sex. Do we sleep in the same bed? I’m a stranger to him, but he’s
also a guy.”

Like she read my mind, “And
if you’re sleeping in the same bed together, he’ll want
more.”

“
Exactly. It’s not that I
don’t want that, but, ugh.”

“
I think I get it. You
should just be candid with him. He appreciates that. Set up some
guidelines.”

“
Cal suggested that too,
boundaries.”

“
I knew there was a good
reason I married him.” She winked as we both laughed. “Try to focus
on other things. You like to read right?” I nodded. “When you’re
not at work, spend some time reading. You should check out the
Cursed Series by T.H. Snyder. If you think you have issues, her
characters will make your problems seem like nothing. And they make
for some hot book boyfriends! I just finished the first one and I’m
getting ready to start the second one.”

Laughing, “Well, I love a
good book boyfriend. I’ll check it out.”

C
hapter
19
~
A
lone

~ CASSIDY ~

Later that night, after
Smith dropped off his truck, James was deciding what he wanted for
dinner. I had insisted he pick since he’d been the one stuck in the
hospital. He’d chosen the Thai place and I offered to go pick it up
since I needed to grab a couple things from the grocery store
anyways.

When I walked back in the
door, there was music playing and he was sitting down scrolling
through an iPod. Was that mine? When he spotted me, he took the
groceries out of my hands as I ran back to the car for our food. As
I walked by the table, I noticed it was indeed my missing iPod. I’d
lost it around the time I miscarried. Had he found it or had he had
it all along. He noticed me looking at it and asked if he should
change the song.

“
No. I’m just, well.
That’s mine. Where’d you find it?” I smiled, “It’s been missing,
for months, that’s why I ask.”

“
Oh. Well, it was in a bag
on the front seat of the truck. I assumed it was mine, but maybe
it’s yours. But I don’t recognize a lot of the songs.”

“
It’s ok. I’m glad you
found it. I’m beginning to think you’ve had it all
along.”

“
Maybe so. So, you called
me JB3?”

Smirking, “On
occasion.”

“
Hmm. I’m not sure I like
that.”

“
I know. You got over it.”
My cell phone rang and when I looked at the caller ID, I recognized
Dr. Pratt’s number. “Shit.” Answering the call, “Hello. Yes,
sorry.” James watched me and his eyes narrowed when I said, “Hello,
Dr. Pratt. Yes, he’s home now. I’m sorry, I should’ve called to
reschedule. Um, now? Hang on.” I put my hand over the phone and
asked James, “Dr. Pratt would like to stop by. Is that
ok?”

“
Dr. Pratt? Um, sure. Am I
seeing him again?”

I had yet to fill him in on
that detail. “Yes, we both were.”

“
What?”

I put my finger up, making
him wait, and put the phone back up to my ear. “Yes, we’re eating
dinner. We’ll be here. Ok. See you soon.” I put the phone on the
counter and sat down at the table where our carryout awaited
us.

“
What’s going on, Cassidy?
Why are we seeing Dr. Pratt?”

“
We were working through
some things, together and separately. He was helping us. We had a
scheduled appointment for tonight, but with everything that’s
happened, I forgot to cancel it.”