Letting Hearts Heal (12 page)

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Wyatt. Does some of the other stuff fit?”

Wyatt shook his head with a little pout. “It’s all too big except for the green crocodile shirt.”

“Then wear that today. I’ll go get you something that fits later.”

“It’s too small.”

Dean sighed. Just as he thought he was doing better with the whole being a daddy thing….

“Morning, guys.” Mason appeared behind Wyatt, looking like he knew exactly what was going on. “I can take Wyatt shopping if you’re busy today. It might be easier to have him try something on at the store to get the size right.”

“You sure you don’t mind?” Dean suddenly worried that he was becoming too dependent on Mason—and that Wyatt was too.

“Of course not. I need a couple of things too.”

Dean looked at Wyatt. “You wanna go shopping with Mason?”

Wyatt nodded eagerly and smiled up at Mason. Dean really, really wished that smile would be directed at him some day. As it was, Wyatt had taken much more to Mason than he had to his own father… his own father who fucked everything up.

“All right, then. Thanks, Mase.”

Dean should have been happy to have time to get some work done, but he felt cold and alone as he watched Mason and Wyatt drive off. The truck was suddenly looking a lot more appealing than his beloved office.

“D
ID
YOU
know that it’s your daddy’s birthday next week?” Mason asked over his shoulder on the way to town. It seemed like divine intervention that Dean had given him a chance to take Wyatt to town. Dean’s birthday seemed like a good opportunity to do something special for both Walker guys.

“Can we get him a present? And a cake?”

Mason grinned. “You bet. What do you think we should get for him?”

“Umm….” Wyatt frowned as he considered it. “A horse?”

Mason hoped Wyatt had more—and slightly more affordable—ideas. “Perhaps something smaller?”

“A pony!”

“I guess I walked right into that one,” Mason muttered under his breath. “Animals are expensive, kiddo.”

Wyatt was quiet for a while, and Mason was starting to worry that he’d hurt the little guy’s feeling when the boy suddenly spoke. “Daddy has lots of pictures, but he doesn’t have one of me. Can we get him one, or is that too ’spensive?”

“Not too expensive at all, and it’s a wonderful idea.” Mason took a moment to be grateful that Wyatt didn’t have to grow up in a house where everything fun and creative was too expensive. Mason knew firsthand how much it killed your soul.

“Will you be in the picture?” Wyatt asked just as they reached town.

If only.
“Maybe next time. I think it should be just you this time. It’s important that daddies have pictures of their kids.”

“Okay. Can we get a chocolate cake?”

“Sure. You think Daddy likes chocolate?”

Mason saw Wyatt nod in the rearview mirror. “He has a whole drawer in his office full of chocolate. He thinks it’s a secret, but I saw it.”

“Sneaky Daddy.” Mason laughed. He wasn’t sure if he should let Dean know that his kid was smarter than he thought he was.

Mason had never minded shopping, and Wyatt made it downright fun. The mall had grown quite a bit in the years Mason had been away, and it had everything they needed. They started by getting Wyatt’s picture taken and were promised that the portraits would be ready in an hour. Then they went looking for a frame, and Wyatt chose one with horses on it.

“Then Daddy will get a horse, anyway.”

Did Dean even know how smart his kid was? Mason doubted it.

Clothes shopping was next. Dean had given Mason money, so he let Wyatt choose what he wanted—one pair of socks with horses on them and a T-shirt with a green face that looked like a smiling pea. Then they found what Mason considered a fitting wardrobe that would last until Wyatt outgrew that too.

“Will you get Daddy a birthday present too?” Wyatt asked. They had stopped for ice cream and promised each other to tell Dean they’d had a sandwich.

“Of course. What do you think I should get him?”

“Dunno.” Wyatt licked the strawberry ice cream off his spoon. “What do
you
think?”

Mason chuckled. “Well, you know how your daddy has a lot of ideas for his business?”

Wyatt nodded seriously.

“I was thinking of getting him a leather-bound notebook for his ideas. What do you think of that?”

“Then he doesn’t have to have all those sticky notes on his desk,” Wyatt said with a little nod. “They keep falling off.”

“All right, then. Will you help me pick one out?”

“Okay.”

Not long before Mason had been forced to leave the valley, Dean had been home from college one weekend and showed him a leather-bound binder where he kept all Mason’s letters. Teenage Mason had practically swooned. But the image of the binder had stayed with him. In New York, when Pierre told him to carry a notebook at all times for ideas, recipes, and cooking tips, Mason had deliberately bought one with a cover that looked like Dean’s binder. It seemed fitting to continue the little tradition, and he hoped Dean remembered it.

“Are we getting the cake today?” Wyatt asked later, distracted halfway through the sentence as they walked by a toy store.

Mason chuckled. “We’ll order it today, and then I’ll pick it up next week.”

“Uh-huh.” Wyatt’s eyes were glued to the window display.

“Wanna go inside and look around?” Mason was pretty sure he could swing a little something for the kid, even after the money he’d spent earlier.

“Can we?”

“Sure. Come on.”

Inside, Wyatt looked around in obvious awe, and Mason couldn’t help but wonder about the life the boy had had with his mother. Sure, kids got excited about toys, but Wyatt looked like being in a toy store was something new. Wondering about it was fruitless, as there was no one but Wyatt himself to tell what his life had been like before. Mason didn’t want to remind the boy about his dead mother when he looked like a hundred Christmases had come at once.

“Look, they have Legos. Ooh, and lots and lots of horses.” Wyatt let go of Mason’s hand and quickly glanced up, as if looking for permission to run off. Mason nodded with a smile.

It was fun to watch him run from one shelf to the next, chattering, smiling, and giggling—but never asking for anything. That surprised Mason a little bit until he remembered who he was dealing with. Wyatt was unique in many ways, and he probably still remembered Mason’s dumb remark from earlier about things being expensive.

“Pick something out to bring home,” Mason said, wishing he could buy Wyatt the entire store just to keep the awed smile on his little face.

That stopped Wyatt cold. “I can have something?” he asked slowly, as if the idea was completely foreign to him.

Mason had been treated badly by a lot of people in his life, but it wasn’t until right that moment that he felt like he really wanted to hurt someone for their actions. If that was even justified. As mad as he was for Wyatt possibly missing out on essential things in his childhood so far, it was entirely possible that the boy’s mom had done the best she could. He hoped she had. The small selection of toys Wyatt had at home didn’t look new. Either Wyatt had brought it with him or it was some of Dean’s old stuff. Mason took a deep breath and managed a smile for Wyatt. “Yep. Pick something out.”

“What should I pick?”

“Well, what do you like best?”

“Umm….” Wyatt looked around in deep concentration.

Mason almost felt bad for making him choose just one thing, but it was all he could afford.

After a few minutes and some walking around, Wyatt finally stopped. “Can I have the horse?”

Grinning, Mason grabbed the stuffed horse Wyatt was pointing at. Seemed like the horse passion hadn’t disappeared from the Walker family, only skipped a generation. And bless the kid for choosing something that Mason could actually afford. “It’s yours. But you have to promise me to give it a really good name, okay? Horses need good names.”

Wyatt nodded seriously. “I promise.”

The boy was quiet on the drive back to the ranch. When Mason asked if he was okay, Wyatt replied that he was thinking about what to name his horse.

“It’s so unfair that you come back from shopping with a smile on your face,” Dean greeted them when they entered the house. “Did you have a good time? Get some clothes that actually fit? Buy the whole mall?”

“Yes, yes, and no.” Mason grinned and watched Wyatt show Dean his new horse.

“Mason says it needs a good name, so I’m gonna call it Sweet Pea. That’s a good name, right? Mommy used to call me that, but she said to share, so I’m sharing it with my horse.”

“It’s a very good name,” Dean replied in a strange voice while Mason felt like someone had punched him in the gut.
Of course
the weird pea fascination came from somewhere, and even though Mason had cursed the woman in his head earlier, he hoped Wyatt would never forget his mom.

“Go try on your new clothes and show me.” The smile on Dean’s face looked like a grimace.

“Okay.” Wyatt raced up the stairs with one of the shopping bags.

Dean turned to Mason. “Shit.”

“Shit is right.”

“I don’t know whether I should talk to him about his mom or not,” Dean admitted. “I was clueless at first, then worried about pressuring Wyatt into remembering uncomfortable things. Now I just don’t know.”

“I wish I knew what to tell you. Maybe try to be subtle when you ask him about his mom, and then follow his lead?”

“Maybe.” Dean sighed. “Hey, thanks for taking him shopping today.”

“My pleasure.” Mason smiled.

D
EAN
HAD
considered taking the day off, but the work was piling up. In addition to a chef, he needed someone in the office to deal with all the boring crap that was starting to take up more and more of his time. And Dean wanted to be a hands-on boss. He didn’t want to spend his day cooped up in his office.

“Hey, Wyatt? Wanna go outside with me today?”

“Can I bring Sweet Pea?”

“Sure.”

“Okay.” Wyatt came running, horse under his arm, and headed straight for his boots. “Can Mason come too?”

“Mason is busy today, buddy. He has to go talk to Karen at the store and some other people.” Which was too bad, really, because it wasn’t just Wyatt who liked Mason’s company.

“Maybe he can come tomorrow,” Wyatt said, hopefully.

“Maybe.”

Dean felt a little guilty as Wyatt followed him outside. It probably wasn’t much fun for a little boy, but the social worker who had brought him to the ranch advised Dean to form a proper bond with Wyatt before hiring a babysitter or enrolling him in pre-K. It made sense, but Dean wasn’t looking forward to letting a stranger take care of his son. But Wyatt would probably prefer it to tagging along while Dean worked.

First they stopped to check the beer production. It was still Dean’s baby, although he knew he had to delegate the work soon if he wanted time to work on some of his new ideas. Wyatt was making horse sounds somewhere in the corner, so Dean focused on his notes. There was still something off about the flavor that bothered him, and he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. Maybe he’d ask Mason and his fantastic palate for his opinion.

Next he stopped at a greenhouse where he had some planting to do. Working with the plants was soothing, and he could let his thoughts fly. Naturally they flew straight toward the sexy, brown-eyed man currently charming the pants off his potential suppliers.

As he kneeled on the ground in the warm glass structure and separated the little leeks so he could plant them, Dean mused about how seamlessly Mason had fit back into his life. Sometimes it seemed as if the previous nine years had never happened. It was tempting to wonder where they would be if they hadn’t been broken apart. Would they have been together all this time if not for their homophobic parents? Dean liked to think that they would and it hurt to think of how they had been cheated. He felt closer to Mason than he did to pretty much anyone, but that didn’t mean they were as close as they could be—or as close as Dean wanted.

He was still afraid he might not be able to juggle a relationship on top of a new kid and an accelerating business. He was also afraid that he’d fuck it all up, that he’d never find the courage to do something about it, that Mason might not want to stay, that the universe would work against them again. Dean sighed. He needed to grow a pair.

“Hey, Dean.”

Dean looked up and gave Joe a grateful smile. He was getting sick of his own thoughts. “Hi, Joe. How’s it going?”

“Oh, I can’t complain. I just wanted to talk to you about the livestock. With the added sale, we need to consider breeding strategies long-term, but right now we’re running low.”

Dean ran a hand through his hair and remembered too late that he was covered in dirt. Joe’s lips twitched, but he didn’t say anything.

“Can you take care of it right now? Buying what we need? Then we’ll set some time aside for planning before the holidays.”

“Sure, I can.” Joe nodded thoughtfully. “I had a couple of the hands take stock today, so I know what we have. That means I just need to calculate what we need to buy. Are you planning to expand the market anytime soon?”

“Not until next year, but buy more than you think we need. We’ve got plenty of space, and the cost of feed won’t be a problem. And triple the amount of turkeys that we sold for Thanksgiving. I’ve got the exact number in the office. I booked a couple of booths for the Christmas market in town.”

“Got it. All right, son. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Thanks, Joe. Give my love to Anna.”

Joe left, and Dean finished planting the leeks. He was stiff from kneeling in the same position for too long when he stood up and stretched. Looking at his watch, he realized he’d worked through lunch. Again. He really needed to work on
not
making that a habit.

Dean cleaned up and got ready to go inside. He’d spend the rest of the afternoon trying to make a dent in the mountain of paperwork on his desk.