Level 2 (Memory Chronicles) (18 page)

“I inserted myself into her memory so she’ll know to trust me,” I say, grinning. “They were playing with a Ouija board, and I was able to put pressure on the planchette to make it spell out what I wanted to say. Pretty cool, huh?”

“If it was so easy to alter her memory, how can you be certain someone hasn’t messed with yours?”

Julian’s comment renders me momentarily speechless and rips the grin right off my face. “But, why would they?”

“Maybe someone wanted you to trust them.” He steps in very close and brushes strands of my hair over my shoulder. “Or they wanted you to react a certain way, so they pruned your life to form a new narrative.”

My eyes narrow. “Wait—do you know something you’re not telling me? Am I being
manipulated
?” I can’t even begin to process the implications of Julian’s suggestion.

Julian puts his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “How would I know? I’m asking you to think about it. Can you really trust your memories? Like, how can you be sure Neil even really exists? Or if he does, that he’s the person you think he is?”

“Oh, now I get it.” I materialize a rubber band and tie my hair back. “This is about your jealousy issues again.” He’s trying to unbalance me, get me to doubt my love for Neil. So he can what? Swoop in and pick up the pieces of my broken heart? Forget it. I
have
to trust my memories. They’re the only link to my life that I have left.

He tilts his head back slightly, lifts one eyebrow, and peers down at me. “Think what you want. I’m just looking out for you.”

“Ha! I might believe that if you were actually doing what you promised me you’d do.” I cross my arms. “How hard can it be to take me to Neil? If you really know where he is?”

“It’s complicated.”

“I’m listening.”

He turns sharply away from me. “I don’t have to explain myself to you,” he growls. Then he stomps down the stairs, returning to his position on the floor.

Arrogant jerk. I fume and wait for Virginia to surface, sneaking glances at Julian at regular intervals. Did he ever intend to lead me to Neil? I’m starting to seriously doubt it. Finally Virginia finishes her memory viewing.

“So?”

“I always forget what a bitch Amy could be sometimes,” she says.

“That’s all?”

“She was my best friend. I miss her.”

“What about me?” I press.

“What about you?” Virginia says. Her disinterest stings and makes me feel thirteen again.

“I mean, what did the Ouija board say?”

“What’s your name again?”

“Felicia.”

“It said to trust Felicia.”

“Bingo!” I say, excited that inserting myself into her memory seems to have stuck. “So trust me. Let’s go.”

She laughs. “Everyone knows Ouija boards are totally fake.”

“Seriously?” Has all my effort been for nothing? “So, you think it’s what—a coincidence?”

“It is a pretty strange coincidence, I’ll give you that.” She takes a hard look at me. “I mean, even if I did trust you, why would I want to go with you? I know what I have here, and I don’t think it’s that bad. I don’t know what’s out there.”

I’m not sure what to tell her. If I explain Eli’s experiments, it will only scare her more. Why would she want to go hang out with a guy who holds her life in so little regard? She wouldn’t, and I can’t blame her for that.

“Can we leave soon?” Julian calls up at us.

“Just a second,” I tell her. I descend the stairs and lower my voice to a whisper. “We need a different tactic. The longer we wait, the higher the chance is that Eli hurts her. We can’t let her overload.”

“Do you owe her your loyalty even though she doesn’t remember your friendship?”

“Of course!” And I need to do this, to atone for all my misdeeds on Earth, and prove to myself that I’ve changed for the better.

“If you insist.” He seems to make some sort of decision. “Hey, Virginia! Do you smell smoke?”

Virginia flies down the stairs, missing the last one and
tumbling to the floor. “My chamber. It’s
on fire
.”

Julian winks at me as he scoops up Virginia. “Out!” he shouts. “Now!”

I rush ahead of them and pound out the code to open the door. Julian pushes me through just as an explosion rocks the hive, throwing us off balance. I twist in time to see Virginia’s chamber destroyed before the door closes. And understanding dawns. That manipulative son of a— “You did this.”

“What do you mean?” Julian lowers his eyes, the picture of coy innocence.

“My chamber. Virginia’s chamber. Mind over matter indeed.”

“Umm . . .” Virginia pulls at my arm. “What are those things?”

Scanner drones. “Flatten yourself against the wall. Quick.” The three of us squeeze into an alcove. Virginia trembles beside me. A whole swarm, at least fifty, rumbles past us, low and steady, never breaking formation. But they aren’t casting their yellow light. They’re just flying.

“We’re lucky,” says Julian once the drones are gone. “If they had actually been scanning, they’d have picked us up for sure.” He scratches his head. “You know, it looked like . . . like they were going to war or something. We’d better rendezvous with Eli and Mira as soon as possible.”

Now’s probably a good time to tell Julian I don’t want to go back to the rebels. “I changed my mind about going back. I want you to help me find Neil. Right now.” I’m
tired of always having to put finding Neil on hold.

“No chance,” Julian says. “Virginia’s a liability now. Our hideout is a safe place for her to hang out while she weans herself off the drugs.”

“I don’t feel safe there.” I take hold of Virginia’s hand. “We can help Virginia detox on her own. On our way to get Neil.”

“You know Eli’s not going to let you go after all our efforts to recruit you.” Julian wipes his wrist across his forehead, mussing up his bangs.

Julian’s right once again. Eli’s the type who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. But I don’t care. “Then I guess I’ll be on the run from the Morati
and
the rebels.”

“Don’t you
want
to help mankind escape from the Morati’s bonds? What about all those kids? Won’t you feel guilty hanging out drinking tea with Neil while little children are still strapped in?” He shakes his head slowly, sadly. “I never thought you were
that
selfish.”

Am I selfish? I don’t want to be. But I’m so confused. Don’t I owe it to Neil to break him out? Don’t I owe it to my friends to make sure they’re okay? And if I help the rebels, does that mean I’ll be responsible for putting other innocent people in danger?

“I’m sure you can do it without me,” I tell him. My allegiance to Neil and my friends has to be my priority. And I don’t want to hurt anyone. I couldn’t stand it if my actions led to collateral damage.

“Why would we go to all the trouble to find you if we didn’t need you?” Julian asks.

“I don’t know!” I tug on Virginia and start walking. She hasn’t said a word while Julian and I argue, and she looks nauseated. “But I don’t really understand you all either. You’re so secretive. And supercilious.”

Virginia swoons, her knees buckling. The only reason she doesn’t fall flat on her face is because I’m still holding on to her hand. Julian picks her up and carries her. “We can’t stay here. The Morati might come personally to inspect the damage to Virginia’s chamber. It’s the second major anomaly in this hive.”

He takes off running, Virginia’s head lolling on his arm. I follow and try to keep up. Once we’re twenty quadrants away, Julian stops. We enter a hive, and he sets her in a chamber to recharge. He does it so gently, I could almost believe he cares about her, too. My heart softens the tiniest bit more.

I push past him to pull up her account, and notice how low her credits have gotten. Not that she necessarily cares what she views at this point, and she doesn’t need credits to relive parts of her own life. I pick out a memory from her favorites folder and then turn back to Julian.

“Why don’t you ever plug in anymore?” I ask him.

“I meditate instead,” he says. I wait for him to elaborate but he doesn’t.

“But don’t you miss reliving stuff from Earth? TV? Stargazing? Apple pie?” I can almost taste the tart sweetness
of fruit and sugar-sprinkled crust in my mouth. Impulsively I grab Julian’s hand and squeeze. His skin is warm.

This time Julian breaks off our contact. “Well, I’m not there now, am I?” he snarls.

It’s such a strong reaction, I don’t even know what to say.

“I prefer to live in the moment. You should try it sometime, instead of constantly pining for what you can’t ever really have again.” His words lash at me like a whip.

As I attempt to form a coherent response, the air in the hive shifts, and my whole being tenses. I turn slowly, and when I see Eli, I am overcome with a sensation akin to falling off a cliff.

“You look so surprised to see me,” he says, his grim smile tinged with gloat. “I told you I could find you anywhere.”

CHAPTER 14

“THE HIDEOUT IS OUR NEXT STOP,”
says Julian, interceding on my behalf. He steps between Eli and me, and suddenly I’m immensely grateful he stuck around.

Eli stares us down for a half minute and then emits a strange sort of sound, like a high-pitched grunt. I think it may have been a laugh.

“We need to stop playing games and wasting time,” he says, turning on his heel as if he expects us to fall in line behind him like good little soldiers. “The Morati have been hunting for us with scanner drones, but our intel from other rebel cells suggests that at least some of the Morati have left the palace to conduct a search themselves.”

It just got even more dangerous to be out on my own.
Will Eli punish me for coming to rescue Virginia?

Neither Julian nor I move. Eli pauses before reopening the door, and looks over his shoulder at us. He is not amused.

“I did not give you permission to leave.” Eli clenches and unclenches his fists.

I’m going to have to come clean at some point, so I say it. “I rescued Virginia.” I can’t help letting a note of pride slip into my voice.

Eli’s gaze darts around the half-full hive at the occupied chambers. He stomps over to the closest drone. “Where is she?”

Again, Julian moves to shield me from Eli. “I think Virginia can help us more by being with us. You said yourself she’s a high potential.” His voice is steady, his tone reasonable.

“She’ll slow us down.” Eli turns back to us, and crosses his arms over his broad chest.

I step forward so I’m standing next to Julian. His arguing my case has made me more confident. “Virginia’s important to me. If you want me to happily contribute to the team effort, we have to take her with us. And it would also be nice if you’d tell me what’s going on. You’ve told me about phase one. What was phase two?”

“Phase two was our attempt to force targeted subjects to relive the memory of their death over and over.” He admits it without remorse or apology.

“And that’s what you did to Beckah?” I caution myself
to remain calm, and step closer to him. Julian steps forward with me. “You made her think she was dying? Made her suffer?”

Eli raises his eyebrows slightly. “If she was one of our test subjects. I don’t remember any names. We hoped it would force her to move on.”

So there is hope that her disappearance from our hive means she moved on. “And did she?”

“So far all test subjects have overloaded. They couldn’t handle the op. Swiss-cheesed their brains.”

I dig my fingernails into my palms, but I barely feel a thing. “So that means she’s in the isolation plains, like Mira said.”

“Probably.” He starts to pound the code into the wall to open the door, as if to indicate that our conversation is over.

“We have to go get her, too.” I wedge myself between him and the wall so he can’t open the door. I need him to know I’m serious about trying to help Beckah. Because she’s my friend, and I promised her I wouldn’t leave her.

Eli steps back, shakes his head, and waves me away like I’m a fly that won’t leave him alone. “That subject is useless to us. Forget her.”

I set my jaw. “I’ll go get her myself.”

“You’ll be much too busy with phase three.” He turns his head toward me and half smiles. A smile that doesn’t reach his cold eyes.

“And what is phase three?” I ask, dreading the answer.

“Phase three is you.”

“What do you mean I am phase three? What do you think I’m going to do for you?”

“Thanks to a certain someone”—Eli flicks his head in Julian’s direction—“with an unhealthy interest in you, it was brought to our attention that you are special.”

Julian chuckles at this, and puts his arm around me. I step to the side, away from him, annoyed that he’s apparently been stalking me both in life and in the afterlife, for reasons I can’t fathom. “How am
I
special?”

“I’m not entirely convinced you are,” Eli says as if it pains him not to know. “But I did observe that you spent more time out of your chamber than others.”

“Wait—you were
watching
me?” Now I am thoroughly creeped out. “Are there cameras in the hives?”

“Not that I’m aware of. I merely analyzed your pattern of net usage. Scientific observation.” Eli shrugs his shoulders. “It was Julian’s idea to pick you up.”

And God knows what Julian’s intentions are. Or if they have more to do with our history than they do with the rebellion. “Why didn’t you tell me all this before?”

“We didn’t want to overwhelm you. There’s only so much a drone can handle when it first leaves the hive,” Eli says.

“Hey. Good morning.” Virginia rubs her eyes drowsily, stumbling out of the chamber Julian put her in earlier. As much as I love her, I’m a little annoyed at her timing—coming out of a memory right as I’m getting some real answers.

Eli scans her from head to toe in a quick, clinical
procedure and flicks his gaze away. “This is the girl you risked everything for?” His disdain is palpable.

Startled, Virginia cowers in Eli’s shadow and scuttles over to Julian.

His bullying makes something inside me snap. I stand up as straight as possible and face Eli full-on. “Okay, Eli. Here’s the deal. We go pick up Beckah and find my boyfriend, Neil. And then maybe you can find out for sure if I’m special enough for phase three.”