With her father’s death, Jessie had become, in fact, a single mother. And she was responsible. Nicki was very dear to her. She went from being the Romeo who terrorized the gay community to being a single parent trying to hold everything together. Diana had nothing but respect and admiration for what she was doing. And what she didn’t want to admit was a growing love and tenderness.
Diana checked in at the hotel; it was never certain how long she would stay but she could be hopeful. She crossed her fingers as she called from the hotel house phone.
“Galbreath.”
“Hello, beautiful.”
There was a faint gasp. “How do you do that?”
“What? Call you beautiful? Why it’s easy, it’s just—”
“No, I mean, call like this. I was just thinking of you this morning.”
“That’s why I called,” Diana almost purred. “How’s your time, darling? Lunch, coffee, a walk in the park?”
There was a strange sound, clicking, like a pencil tapping on the desk. “How long are you here for? Just overnight?”
A possibility? Diana’s heart leaped. “I’m available for the weekend.” There was hope, she knew, in her voice.
“Really? Can you call me back in twenty minutes?” Jessie’s voice was rushed.
“Sure.”
“Let me make some calls, let me think. Yeah, call me back. Gotta go. Bye.”
***
Diana moved around the room. She had taken the business suite this time, there was a little more room without the expense of two rooms. Candles, soft music from the TV. She had brought gifts, they were there on the desk, something for Jessie, a smaller package for Nicki. She wrung her hands, nervous, expectant. A weekend. It had been months and months since they had been alone together. She had a feeling in her that this was a turning point. She had these feelings occasionally, gut instinct her papa called it. He told her always to listen, that the subconscious knew what the mind did not and this should not be ignored. Now her gut instinct was talking to her libido and they were having a great conversation.
There was a soft rap and she threw open the door. They stood there looking at each other.
“Well, are you going to invite me in?” Jessie asked with an uncertain grin after a minute.
Diana dragged her eyes over the taller woman. “You’re not in jeans.” She took a long look at the black tailored pants, still a white shirt only now it was white silk, the leather jacket. “I didn’t know you owned anything else.” She stepped back from the door, inviting her in.
“Got a promotion at work, splurged on an expanded wardrobe.” She seemed a little hesitant.
“You look fantastic.” Diana couldn’t get over the change. “Turn around.” Jessie turned around, posing. “Damn, I thought you were hot in blue jeans.”
Jessie laughed. “No one has called me ‘hot’ in ages. I’m not sure I know what that means any more.”
“God, Jessie, you’ve got to get out more.” Diana took hold of Jessie’s hands, stunned by the change. “On, second thought, maybe not. You’d have to beat them off with a billy club.” She brought Jessie’s hands to her lips. “Where’s Nicki?”
“She’s spending the weekend with a friend. I called Paula and said I had a chance to go out, could she keep her for the weekend. We’re both single mothers, have this system worked out.” Uncertainly and with almost shy eagerness, she pulled her hands free of Diana’s, took Diana’s face in her hands. She searched Diana’s face before she kissed her, her lips warm and trembling. “I’ve missed you.”
Diana moaned. She had forgotten what this woman could do to her without even trying. She closed her eyes, drank her in. She didn’t move, even when Jessie released her. “Oh, God, Jessie. I had planned we’d go out to dinner, but with a kiss like that, I could skip the preliminaries and go right to bed.”
“I’m not hungry,” Jessie said in a husky voice, “at least not for food.”
Diana stepped back, opening her eyes, shook her head to clear it. Jessie was right in front of her, watching her, questioning. She was trembling. “I’m not kidding, Diana.”
“Neither am I.” Diana moved away from Jessie, locking the door. She moved to the closet, pulled out a wooden hanger. “Let me have that jacket. It’s much too nice to throw around.” She took a deep breath, calming herself. Had it been that long since they had been together? “Damn, I didn’t realize leather jackets were so heavy. What have you got in there, lead weights?” She hung up the jacket and turned around.
“No.” Jessie pulled the shirt over her head, pulled her bra off. “Just my—” She seemed to lose all train of thought and words when Diana slid her hands around to cup her breasts, to pinch the upright nipples. Her hands immediately covered Diana’s, and she whimpered. She threw her head back against Diana’s shoulder and shuddered as she turned her face into Diana’s neck. “Oh, God, Diana. It’s been so long.”
“I can tell,” Diana whispered in her ear. “Too long.” She ran her tongue around Jessie’s ear, felt her whimper.
“I need you,” Jessie almost sobbed.
“Have you been without all this time?” Diana asked, more to tease than anything else, and she was shocked when Jessie answered.
“Yes.”
“Oh, baby, that’s not good.” She wrapped her arms around Jessie and pulled her tight against her, hands stroking her, caressing her. She could feel Jessie shaking, unable to move. “Why?”
Jessie shook her head. “Just—just not enough time.” She arched her back and pushed against Diana’s hands.
“Let me take care of you,” Diana promised. “Don’t worry—don’t worry about doing anything, sweetheart. We’ve got all weekend.” Jessie’s only response was a moan. Diana stroked down Jessie’s abdomen. The woman must still be working out. She felt in great shape. She unfastened the pants at Jessie’s waistband. “Show me you want me, hon. Open your pants.”
Uncoordinated, moving against Diana, Jessie managed to unzip her pants, push them open, whimpering as Diana’s hand dropped. No more cotton panties, the logical part of Diana’s brain noticed. Hip riders. Silky. She nibbled on Jessie’s neck as she pushed the tailored, lined trousers down. She felt Jessie moving against her, caught a motion out of the corner of her eye. She glanced at their mirrored reflection, herself still completely dressed holding the almost naked woman against her. She shivered at the sight, at Jessie’s soft sounds in the back of her throat, at the feeling of the woman in her arms.
“How do you want it, darling?”
“I don’t care,” Jessie moaned. “Just—just take me, love me.”
Diana slid her hand inside the silky hip riders, finding the wetness she had expected. She didn’t expect Jessie’s cry at her touch, her sinking to her knees.
“Oh, God. Please, Diana. Don’t tease me. I can’t—can’t stand it.”
Diana bent Jessie over the foot of the bed, releasing her to caress her ass, to lean against her, to find her center, to hear Jessie cry.
“Oh, God, yes, please, don’t stop.” And then it was just sounds as Diana found her center, found her wetness, stroked her, parting her legs more, finding her swollen, highly sensitized clit. Jessie ground herself against the bed, clenched the bed covers in her fists, panting, lost to her surroundings as Diana held her, focused on her, penetrated, stroked. “Ahhhhhhhhhh!”
Diana lay over Jessie, her head against Jessie’s back, feeling her heart race, feeling her panting. She lifted up as Jessie turned her head, reached back for her. “All right?” she asked. Jessie nodded, unable to speak. Diana still hadn’t let her go. “Appetizer?” Jessie gave a weak laugh.
Diana got to her feet, withdrawing. She was surprised, even shocked at Jessie’s raw need. She flexed her hand, loosening tight cramps. Jessie pushed herself to a sitting position, rolling over. Her bright red panties were pooled around her ankles and she examined them in embarrassment.
Diana sat beside Jessie and took her hand. “Why so long?” Jessie didn’t look up, gave a little shrug. “Honey, that’s not good for you.”
“Busy schedule, things to do.” She still didn’t raise her head.
Diana was puzzled over several things, but now she was concerned because Jessie seemed embarrassed. She brought Jessie’s hand to her lips. “What’s wrong?”
“Just—just.” Jessie closed her eyes. “I feel like I used you?”
“Used me?”
Jessie drew a deep breath. “I just needed.” She had tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Jessie!” Diana’s voice was sharp. “Look in the mirror. Just look at that.”
Reluctantly Jessie looked up. “Now tell me, sweetheart,” Diana said gently, “if someone walked in on us, who would they say was the user and which of us got used?”
Jessie’s answer was muffled in Diana’s shoulder. “I guess it would look like I’m the one who got used.”
Diana turned Jessie’s face to her. “Do you feel used?” Jessie shook her head. “Me neither.” She let go of Jessie, got to her feet. “Now we have to face the big question,” she said lightly. She walked around the bed to pull the bedcovers down, came back to stand beside Jessie.
“What’s that?”
“Are we going out for dinner or are we going to be each other’s main course?”
Jessie blinked. “You’re not upset with me?” she asked in puzzlement.
“What for? For your need for immediate gratification? Jessie, we did that for months. We could hardly wait to hit the bed when I got into town. We might have met at the bar but we both knew where we were going to end up. And probably pretty damn quickly.”
“But we changed,” Jessie said. “We haven’t done that in a long time.”
“Well, no, not with any white heat, but we’ve gotten older. Circumstances have changed. We’ve made adjustments.”
Jessie got to her feet. “Are you sorry?”
“About what? Circumstances changing?”
“No, about always ending up in bed.” She rested her hands on Diana’s hips, stood close to her.
Diana gave a big sigh and stepped back. “I recognize that look.” She pulled her shirt over her head, unfastened her bra. “No dinner out tonight; maybe later.” Jessie caught her, pulled the lacy bra off, caressed, squeezed Diana’s breasts.
“You didn’t answer my question.” She pulled Diana against her, nibbled on her cheek, rubbed her face through Diana’s hair. “Still wear the same perfume, have I ever told you how much I love it, spent all afternoon in Surry’s once, trying to identify it.”
“Savannah Gardens.” Diana stepped into Jessie’s embrace. “They take it off the market periodically. I have bottles of it.”
“You didn’t answer my question: are you sorry?” She slid her hands down the inside of Diana’s pants, squeezing her ass, pulling her tight.
Diana looked at Jessie directly, her arms around Jessie’s neck. “I haven’t been celibate when we’re not together.” She felt Jessie’s hands stop. “I didn’t promise faithfulness and I didn’t ask for it. I’ve traveled this whole country. I’ve seen lots of women and yes, I’ve had my share. I’ve always been clean when I came back to you. I haven’t found anyone anywhere who can turn my head and fill my senses the way you can Jessica Ann Galbreath. So I’ve always come back. No, I’m not sorry. If something happened and I never saw you again, you would still go down in my book as the best woman I’ve ever known.”
Jessie looked away, trying not to look immensely pleased and extremely flattered at Diana’s words. She began to knead Diana’s ass again, and they moved against each other as only long-term lovers can do. “So why haven’t we done anything about that?”
Diana thought her heart would stop. Of all times, of all things, yes, she needed to listen to her gut more often. But the logical part of her was still working. She pushed herself back so she could see Jessie’s face. “Jessie,” she said softly. “I’m not saying this to hurt, and I can’t tell you in how many dreams I have wished for everything you seem to be implying, but it’s not going to happen.”
Jessie pulled away sharply. “Why not?”
Diana looked at her in some disbelief. She didn’t want to say what she knew to be true, could not believe Jessie could be so blind. “Because you’re still waiting for Julie.”
They went out to dinner. Diana watched Jessie carefully. Had she read her wrong? She didn’t think so. This weekend wasn’t turning out the way she envisioned. “I didn’t say that to upset you, Jessie.” She watched Jessie’s smooth motions as she drove through town in the late-model car. Absently, Diana wondered if she’d gotten rid of the Jeep. Then it didn’t matter, any more than where they were going. Diana really didn’t care.
“Then why did you say it?” There was a hard edge in Jessie’s voice, not anger exactly, more like protection against future blows.
“Because it’s true. I know your life has changed since your dad died, but even before that you weren’t going out. You weren’t dating. You may have gone out on the prowl and may have made your way into many beds, but you weren’t trying to meet someone. You weren’t trying to make a relationship.”
“And that bothers you?”
“It just told me that you weren’t interested in a relationship; you were still waiting.”
“And you were looking for a relationship?”
“No. I never said I was. I told you what we had was in the here and now, no strings, no holds. If I came back and you were available, we had a great time. If not…” She shrugged and turned away to look out the window in the gathering dusk.
“I was always available for you,” Jessie said defensively.
“And I keep coming back,” Diana said in a weary voice.
Jessie pulled into the parking lot of a small restaurant at the edge of what looked like a small community. Diana looked around with some dismay. She had been so upset that she had broken not one but several of her cardinal rules. She wasn’t driving. It wasn’t her car. She didn’t know for sure where she was. She was too upset to care.
Jessie shut off the ignition and sat there a moment, not moving. “What do you want from me, Diana?”
“I’m not asking anything from you, Jessie. I come to town, I call. Whatever you’ve had to offer me, I’ve accepted. It used to be we had a great time in bed. You want to talk, I listen. You have five minutes, I don’t ask for ten.”
Jessie frowned as she sat back, spread her arms, one across the back of the seat, the other on the steering wheel. “I used to think it was the sexual excitement. One more conquest, even the beautiful stranger who comes to town. But then slowly it wasn’t just sex. You’ve given me more support these past few months than my so-called long-time friends. They dropped me like a hot potato when Nicki became my sole responsibility.”