Libertine's Wife (30 page)

She left with Vale. She remained in his
household. Her lover came to her rescue now, saved her child, and
saw to it her brother was out of her life in one fell swoop. The
only thing Julian St. Ives didn’t do now was walk on water in his
wife’s eyes.

No, he asked for this when he was too
blinded by anger to listen to her. Thoughts of her with her former
lover enraged him. For the first time in his life, he felt on the
verge of doing murder. The temptation to go after Vale burned
inside him.

Thoughts of her living with Vale, going
to his bed, haunted him until he was livid, wanting to drag his
wife out of the man’s house by her hair. The memory of his own
father forcing his mother back came to mind. He dismissed his
intentions, knowing if she were here he’d punish her as his father
had Lady Therese.

The rumors of their estrangement were
minimal. None of his servants dare lose their positions to gossip
about where Lady Ravensford went. He explained her absence to
others with illness and family matters, but it was being questioned
by all.

Garret hated her as deeply as he loved
her now. He didn’t want her near him and didn’t want her away. It
was obvious he didn’t know what he wanted anymore. Arianne’s deceit
devastated him. He was brought to his knees with the discovery the
child he loved wasn’t his.

In the blink of an eye, all he hoped
and wished for was gone; reminding him he should have known better
than to believe her lies from the start. He should have known
whatever he thought they had, was never meant to be from the
start.

One thing he could thank Lord Vale for
was disposing of Sir Eustace Dunne. If he got his hands on him
then, he didn’t think of what he might have done. Knowing the man’s
disreputable lender kidnapped Jaime enraged him to the point of
madness.

No, whatever love he’d begun to feel
for his wife was extinguished in an instant. The residual pain was
almost physical. His hurt was so profound, he cried for the first
time in his life the night she left, overwrought and into his cups.
He believed it possible to be happy for the first time in his
wicked, disreputable life. He allowed himself to love her, and she
tore out his heart.

Garret sighed depressively as he stared
at her letter, his eyes narrowed with fury once more. He had every
intention of making Arianne feel the loss he felt, every day, for
the rest of her life. She would pay for hurting him. He knew just
how, recoiling at the thought of it, but his rage was such, he
ignored his inner warnings.

~ ~ ~

Arianne refused to listen to Julian. He
glared at her across the breakfast table. They’d argued the matter
for weeks. Every since she told him she carried Garret’s child, he
was adamant she stay away from her old residence. She wished to go
to her husband and confront him. Julian advised her against
it.

She knew why, fuming in jealousy to
know her husband was once again documented with several different
women these last weeks. While it broke her heart, she knew he was
hurting. She thought if she got in to speak with him, he would
relent and take her back.

“
You are better than this,
Arianne.” Julian tossed down his napkin, his dark eyes filled with
anger. “The man knows you carry his child. He’s ignored you for
weeks! Now you wish to go and beg the man to take you back? Like
bloody hell you will! That bastard can come on bended knee to offer
you a damned apology!”

“
It’s my decision! It is I,
who owe him, the apology!” she shot back, rising and tossing down
her own napkin. “The longer I stay away; the worse this is, Julian.
You don’t know my husband. This is how he deals with his pain. I
have to go to him before it’s too late and make him see
reason.”

“
You deserve better than
this, Arianne!”

“
I love him, Julian,” she
whispered in a tortured voice, tears brightening her gaze. “I know
it isn’t what you wish to hear, but it is how I feel. I cannot lose
him!”

Julian said nothing as she exited the
dining room in a flurry of skirts, disgusted to think of her going
to Ravensford and begging him to take her back. In his opinion, the
man was never good enough for Arianne from the start.

She lived with him two months now. Her
husband ignored her. The man was sticking his cock into anything
that wore a skirt and had a pulse. He didn’t tell her the rumors of
all his activities because he didn’t wish to cause her further
pain. Her husband turned his back on her and went on with his life.
Arianne refused to see it, thinking when he calmed down he would
relent. He saw little sign of that.

Imagining her heartache upon her
return, he said nothing. He played the doting friend and stayed out
of it. Recalling how she once loved him made him resentful and
jealous to see her chase after Ravensford now. He sighed, knowing
she would need his comfort upon her return. He didn’t see
Ravensford taking his wife back any time soon.

~ ~ ~

Arianne slid into the back door off the
kitchens, tiptoeing to the backstairs used for the servants. She
knew Elliot was warned to keep her out. She reasoned one couldn’t
break into one’s own home.

Garret could hardly shut her out
forever. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders in
determination. She would win him back. She refused to admit defeat.
He would listen to her.

She knew he was at home. She sat
outside the house and watched for a time. His coach was parked at
the curb. This time of day, her husband was in his study working on
his accounts. He rarely deviated from his schedule. She prayed he
listened to her.

Arianne came to the top of the stairs.
She snuck down the long, winding corridors, dodging into rooms to
avoid the maids. She crept past his room on her way to the stairs,
meaning to sneak down to the study. She heard her husband’s voice
inside the room. She stopped in her tracks, her hand going to the
doorknob. Taking a reassuring breath, she opened the
door.

She stared in shock at the sight
within.

Garret was sprawled naked in his bed
with the same two women she’d seen through the peephole at the
brothel. The pair was engaged much the same way while her husband
watched, laying nude on his side. He looked up when she walked in.
His eyes narrowed spitefully.

“
Have you come to join us?”
His voice was filled with contempt.

Arianne gasped at his crude words,
unable to believe what she was seeing. Garret’s companions never
stopped their activities at her arrival. He rose from the bed. She
glared at him as he approached, nude and obviously aroused by his
activities.

Arianne backed away to the door,
horrified to catch him with the prostitutes. The pain of it was too
much. Her heart ached with the knowledge he would turn to
others.

“
Come and join us, Arianne,”
Garret said coldly as he approached her, unmindful of his nudity.
“I’ll even pay you as much as I pay them.” His green eyes flicked
over her in disdain, ignoring her outraged gasp. “Isn’t that what
you wanted that night? You have your opportunity now, my
sweet.”

“
You disgust me!” She was
livid, outraged, and glared up at him in fury. “I can see you have
no desire to try and resolve our difficulties, Garret! I will just
leave you to your sordid business!”

Garret came closer, a nasty gleam in
his eye. “Difficulties? Is that what you wish to call them now? Do
you think all you have to do is come here and spew more ridiculous
lies and I will believe a word you say?”

Arianne could see the fury and pain in
her husband’s eyes. She knew her actions devastated him. He was
punishing her and himself. She ignored the activity on the bed and
stared at him, trying to reach past the ice encased within his
eyes. “I came here to talk to you, just talk. You ignored my
letters. We cannot go on this way! You have to talk to me,
Garret!”

“
If you don’t intend to join
us, please leave,” Garret snapped, his green eyes filled with
coldness. “I have nothing more to say to you, Arianne. Go back to
Vale. It appears he pays better than I do.”

Arianne drew back her hand and slapped
him with a resounding crack that interrupted the antics on the bed.
Both women now rolled over and watched them in
fascination.

“
How dare you!” Arianne
ignored the pain in her hand as she stared up at him. “You’ve
ignored me for weeks! I’m expecting your child! How can you do this
to me?”

Garret rubbed his cheek, hardly
affected by her blow. “Would you like me to make you a list of
reasons, Arianne? Lying to me for years, taking money from Vale
behind my back, endangering us all with your bloody lies! Do I need
to go on? That is how I dare! You’ve lost the right to deserve any
respect from me!”

“
I tried to tell you the
truth!” Arianne cringed as she heard the two whores chuckling from
the bed.

Garret gazed at her with little
emotion, his eyes unmoved. “You failed, it appears. We have nothing
left to say to one another.”

Arianne was sickened by his words,
deflated by his actions. She gazed at him sadly. “Is this how you
would leave it, Garret?”

“
No, this is how I would
leave you, Lady Ravensford,” Garret said coolly and pushed her
towards the door, shoving her out of his room, and slamming it in
her face.

Arianne’s face filled with heat to hear
the giggling women within the room, tears filling her eyes to see
how her husband intended to get over his anger. Her heart ached and
she left as she came, too sick to think of what went on in his
room.

Julian waited for her to arrive back,
his face tense. She said nothing and passed him without a word,
going to her room and locking herself inside. Once there, she
couldn’t bring herself to cry. She sat at the window seat, watching
traffic pass by the residence.

Her hand went to her abdomen
and she felt the faint flutters within her. Garret’s
child moved often now, a comfort to her, knowing
it was all she would have of him. She couldn’t help but feel
consoled, even if the child’s father just humiliated her beyond
anything she could have ever imagined. Her pride was gone, but the
anger was sure to come. When it did, she was furious.

Garret could have his old life back as
far as she was concerned. She made a mistake! What made it all
worse was Julian’s easy acceptance of what she did to protect him.
He forgave her, hardly even angry anymore. He used his time to get
to know his child now, not rake her over the coals for not telling
him the truth. The difference between the two men was glaringly
obvious to her. Julian loved her, forgave her everything, and
offered her his heart in his hand.

Her husband despised her. Garret’s
behavior was without a doubt, atrocious. She felt sick to think of
him with the two prostitutes, with anyone but her. She blamed
herself for destroying his faith in her— he had no faith in her to
begin with. He didn’t love her. The words repeated themselves in
her mind over and over again. The devastating truth made her eyes
well up and overflow.

~ ~ ~

Arianne looked down at her burgeoning
stomach with an incredulous expression. She looked more like a
whale these days. Julian teased her that her shoes didn’t match
anymore. She had to agree with him as she couldn’t see them. Her
feet disappeared a month ago.

No one knew she stayed with Julian
these many months, not even Lady Cosgrove. She refused to embarrass
her husband by society knowing she lived with Lord Vale. He
wouldn’t hear of her and Jaime leaving. He looked for a residence
for her, but she found fault with each and every one of them. She
knew she stalled, hoping Garret would come after her.

Soon, there was no talk of her moving.
She stayed hidden behind the walls of St. Ives Manor, refusing to
go out, mindful of gossip. The servants were warned with the loss
of their positions if any word got out Lady Ravensford stayed
there.

Arianne hadn’t spoken to her husband
since the day he threw her out of his room, making it clear he
never wished to see her again. She gave up trying to get through to
him, hoping he would come around. As the months passed and her
pregnancy flew by, he hadn’t contacted her.

She could no longer ignore the fact her
husband wasn’t coming back this time. What she feared had come to
pass. Even when he knew all the circumstances now, he would not
relent. Her heart was shattered those first months, hoping he would
come for her.

She cried herself to sleep some nights
waiting for him to see reason. A part of her cringed to know she
didn’t deserve to have Garret back. The thought was never far from
her mind, knowing she had bungled the matter beyond all
recognition. No, she had no one to blame but herself.

Julian, for his part, chose not to
council her in matters regarding her husband. For that, she was
relieved. The weeks she deceived Garret out of necessity tortured
her now, finding it not worth it at all when she felt the pain of
the backlash.

Despite her dark thoughts and
depressive moods, she shared none of her pain, feeling she’d
destroyed everything good in her life. If not for the child she
carried and Jaime; she wouldn’t wish to live. She felt desolate
grief to know the man she loved despised her.