Lie to Me (32 page)

What the hell did he see in her?

Did he even see anything in her?

Her breath caught, her hands trembled.  Why was he even here?  Why had he even had sex with her?  Why now?

What had he really thought when he’d been on top of her?  How soft she was?  How…fat?

Jesus, get a grip
. Gritting her teeth, she tore her gaze from the mirror and strode to the wardrobe, ripping it open to yank out a pair of slacks and a button-up blouse, pulling both on impatiently. 
You are who you are
. Sliding her feet into a pair of ballet flats, she pulled the hair elastic from her plait and un-braided her hair, running a brush through it quickly. 
Don’t doubt yourself, never doubt yourself.  You have so much.

But her hands still trembled as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail.  It had been a long time since she’d even thought much of her weight or body.  Life was so much more than looks and figures, but it wasn’t easy to push the sudden self-doubts aside.

Especially after feeling what it was like to be held and kissed by Ryder.

Suddenly she felt as though she didn’t measure up, could never measure up to his looks and physique.

Talk about being shallow.  It was the one thing she hated.

Taking a deep breath, she looked her reflection squarely in the eyes.  “You’re  a good person, Dee.  You have nothing to be ashamed of. 
Nothing
.”

A squirt of perfume to bolster her confidence and she strode to the door, yanking it open with a sudden rush of annoyance.  Life was too damned short to be so superficial.  It was her problem if she took it on, and she bloody well wasn’t going to start carting that useless crap around with her.

Chapter 10

At first she thought that Ryder had left, her emotions lurching from relieved to hurt.  However, the clinking of cutlery against china made his presence clear.

Now her emotions swung between relieved and an ‘oh shit’ feeling, because she had to face him.  Her palms actually got a little damp, she had to wipe them on her slacks.

“Stop loitering out there, babe, get your arse in here,” Ryder called.

Okay, come hell or high water, the time was now.  No turning back, no hiding.

Straightening her shoulders, Dee lifted her chin, crossed the landing and into the kitchen to find Ryder, now fully dressed in a rather rumpled uniform, pouring milk into two steaming mugs, perfectly at home.

Well, he’d always been at home in her kitchen  To be fair, in fact, all her friends had been comfortable in each other’s places, but seeing Ryder standing in her kitchen just gave her an extra warm feeling.

Jesus, maybe he really had boinked her brains out.

That thought had her cheeks flushing, and it had to be right when he turned with the mugs in his hands, his gaze landing unerringly on her face, a knowing look crossing his as he took in her red cheeks.

Then his gaze slowly slid down her body, making her self-conscious flare anew, but she forced herself to stand still, watching him, assessing his expression, refusing to back down or hide.

His gaze slid back up her body, lingering unashamedly on her hips and breasts before sweeping upward to meet her gaze.

Oh boy, his eyes held blatant sexual heat.  Jesus, really?  Her confidence flowered, bloomed, flared brighter than ever at the knowledge that hit her right in her girlie spots.

She might not be slim and sexy, but he found her desirable.  The lust in his eyes was unmistakeable, the sudden awareness in the air between them undeniable.

That knowledge gave her courage, made her toss her head a little as she strode forward to take the mug from his hand.

Rather than relinquish it to her, Ryder held it away.

Puzzled, she looked up at him.

“I could strip you, bend you over the table and ride you into next week,” he stated bluntly, a touch roughly.  “If you don’t want that to happen right now, don’t toss your head in such a challenge, because babe, I’m up to meet any challenge you throw at me.  Got it?”

Her mouth dropped open.

His gaze dropped to it, the lust in his eyes flaring brighter.  “Later I’ll teach you some other uses for that mouth.”

What the…?  Had she heard correctly?  Oh yeah, she had.  “Screw you, Ryder.”

His grin was darkly roguish.  “Like I said, later.”

The bastard had no problem with his confidence, it practically oozed out of his pores.  She glared up at him.  “Maybe there won’t be a later, have you ever thought of that?  Wait.”  She smacked her forehead lightly with her palm.  “Of course you haven’t.  You’d never dream that anyone could say ‘no’ to you and mean it.”

“Are you saying no?”

“No.”  That floored her.  “Yes.  No.”  God, suddenly she couldn’t get a thought straight in her head.

His smile was slow, a touch wicked as he brought the mug up between them.  “Good, because we have some things to discuss first.”

Christ, that sounded business-like.  “You better not be planning on offering me money.”  She took the mug from him.

“I wasn’t.”  His eyes crinkled at the corners.  “But now we’re on the subject, how much do you think my performance was worth?”

That had the events of the morning crashing down around her all over again, flustering her, making it difficult now to meet his eyes.  So difficult, in fact, that she turned away.  “Let me check how much Monopoly money I have left.”

“Why, Dee Miller.”  He was suddenly close behind her, his front to her back, his breath hot at her ear, his arm holding his mug of hot tea safely away from her even as he blatantly teased, “Are you saying my love making wasn’t up to scratch?”

“Whatever you say,” she retorted, her mind already going a little haywire at his nearness.

Not to mention that her body reacted almost immediately, her nipples pebbling.  Thank God for sturdy bras, good for supporting big boobs and hiding traitorous nipples.

His chuckle vibrated through her.  “Are you feeling a little shy?”

“Not at all.”  She took a fortifying sip of the hot tea.

“And yet your cheeks are on fire.”  His hand was suddenly cupping her chin, his thumb stroking down her cheek.  “Jesus, babe, you are such a delight.”

Her heart pounded against her ribs.  “Huh.  You only just now realised that.”

“Oh, I always knew what a delight you were,” he said.  “I just never realised how much.”  Stepping back, he smacked her lightly on her bottom.  “Take a seat, babe, we need to talk.”

There was no avoiding
the talk
.  It was going to be embarrassing, awkward, and she had no idea what to expect or what to say.  But there was no avoiding it, that much was clear.  Unless… She glanced at the kitchen clock as she sat down at the table.  “Don’t you start work at eight?”

“Yep.”  He dropped down into the chair opposite, placing his mug on the table.

Great.  “That’s in half an hour.”

“Yep.”

“So you better go home and change.”

“Nope.”

“You’ll be late.”

“I rang and told them I’d be in at ten.”

“You what?”

“Unless there’s an emergency, then they can ring my mobile.”

“How can you just-”

“They owe me a heap of overtime.  The boss is cool with me coming in a bit later.”  Ryder paused.  “As long as I bring one of Cheryl’s iced coffees from the café for him.  Man isn’t above some bribery.”

“He’s worked too long with you.”

“Not nice.”

“The truth can hurt.”

“It can also be revealing.”  Suddenly serious, he cocked his head curiously to one side.  “Why did you deny that you kissed me all those years ago?’

Oh boy.  Dee shrugged.  “It was nothing.”

“Really?  So why have I had this recurring dream about a faceless girl kissing me all these years?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe you watched too many porn movies when you were young.  Something was bound to stick.”

“Hey, my parents wouldn’t let me watch porn.”

“Who said your parents knew?  Cripes, Ryder, you cut on your teeth on ‘Debbie Does Dallas’.”

Rather than deny it, he grinned.  “Scott saw it as well, did he ever tell you that?”

“I am so surprised,” she said dryly.

“Back then we thought it was rather risqué.”  His grin turned a little wicked.  “But I think I’ve seen and done worse since.”

“If you need to confess, the church is up the road.”

“I’m Anglican, we don’t confess anything.”

“I’m surprised the roof doesn’t cave in when you walk into church on Christmas morning.”

“Haven’t you heard the angels sing?”  He noticed her shift her chair back a little.  “What are you doing?”

“I don’t want to be anywhere near when the lightening strikes.”

His grin this time was downright sinful.

It was enough to kick her heart into double time.  She glanced down at her mug, tracing one finger around the rim.

The silence ticked on for several seconds before Ryder broke it.  “So why did you deny it?”

“Forget it, it was no big deal.”

“No big deal?  I wake up with a boner every time I have that dream.”

That had her beaming on the inside, though she kept her reply casual.  “Morning wood.  I think it has something to do with a full bladder.”

“Jesus, Dee, you know how to kill a sexy moment.”

“Do you deny it?”  She dared a peek to find him watching her incredulously.

“Hell yes.  Most times it’s simply that I want sex.”

“Wow, and you say I’m a mood killer.”

“Nothing wrong with wanting sex.  I like sex.  Lots of it.  Pretty much up for it any time of the day or night.”  Ryder’s eyes went a little darker, pupils dilating as his gaze travelled over her face, down to her shoulders, dropped to her breasts and slowly rose back up again to lock on her mortified face as he drawled huskily, “I like sex with you.”

She didn’t know what to reply.  Her heart leaped in anticipation, she was going to have a heart attack any second if she couldn’t get it under control.  Her grip tightened on the mug.

“A lot,” he added.

No way could she look at him.  No way.  Her cheeks were blazing, her womb contracting, her girlie parts tingling.  Cripes, if he could do this just by saying how much he liked having sex with her, well, hell - wait a minute.

Liked having sex with her. 
Liked
.  Not loved.  He liked sex, he’d had it with a lot of women.  She was just the latest.

That thought was enough to steady her wildly beating heart.  In fact, it fell in her chest with a thud. 
Shit, that hurt
.  Slowly, she looked across the table at him. 

Whatever he saw in her face wiped all teasing and wickedness from his.  He straightened from his slouch in the chair.  “Dee?”

“Look, Ryder, whatever you want to say, just say it.”  She took a deep breath, gripped the mug hard.  “How about I say it instead?”  She might die of embarrassment, true, but hell, she had to get it over with and him out of her home.  “We had sex three times.  You liked it.  Fine.  Done.  Finished.  Was there anything else?”  She arched her brow at his astonished expression.  “Do I say ‘thank you’?  How about I say ‘thank you’?  Thank you, Ryder, the sex was great.  You are a true sex god, a real stud.  I know what the women of Gully’s Fall pant after now.  Thank you.”  Pushing to her feet, she folded her arms.  “You can go.”

“I can go?”  He stared up at her.

Head up, damned big lump in her throat, she waved her arm in the direction of the kitchen doorway.

Ryder’s expression went from incredulous to puzzled.  “I don’t get it.”

“You’re a free man, no obligation.”

His expression went from puzzled to almost thunderous as he shot to his feet.  “No
obligation
?”

“Nope.”

He stabbed his forefinger down towards his big boots.  “Come here, woman.”

“Do you need me to show you the staircase?”

“Come right here.”

“It’s through the doorway, across the landing, down the uneven ramp thingy.”  Taking a smidgen of nasty comfort from his anger, she smiled.  “They’re called steps, sweetie.”

“Sweetie?”
  His eyes blazed.

“Here, I’ll show you.”  Turning, she started for the doorway.

The sound of Ryder striding behind her was loud, his boot treads fast and furious.

Oops, maybe she shouldn’t have prodded him like that.  Or more to the point, maybe she shouldn’t have turned her back on him.

Belatedly realising her mistake, Dee started to swing back around but it was too late.  A big hand snaked under her blouse, hooked in the waist band of her slacks and yanked her to a halt before pulling her backwards.

She staggered, arms windmilling to keep her balance right before she smacked back against a hard chest.

“Hey,” she protested, trying to pull away.

Ryder just hung on, his voice grim.  “We’re going to have this talk, woman.”

“Talk?”  She looked back up at him over her shoulder, quaking inwardly at the fury etched onto his handsome face.

Oh boy, she’d seen Ryder angry before, had been the cause of it quite a few times, but right now there was an unpredictable mix in his tone and bearing.  It wasn’t just threatening, there was also an underlying awareness between them.  Her back against his chest, her bottom snugged below his groin, the fact that he towered over her and man, he knew her
intimately
.  That made a difference.  In fact, the reminder had her cheeks flaring.

Curse him, he noticed.  The fury in his eyes was tempered with a hard, carnal gleam, but give the man his due, he didn’t try to grope her, just kept hold of her waistband, kept her pulled hard back against him.  With her head barely grazing the top of his shoulder, she suddenly realised just how much bigger he was compared to her.  She’d always known, but now she
knew
.  She knew what it was like to have that big body arched over her, the powerful thrust of his hips as he entered her, the drag of his shaft inside her, the way he controlled her, dominated her.

Shit, there went her heart again, pounding into overdrive.  Ryder was going to kill her just with the memories of what he’d done to her body.

The silence in the kitchen was loud, the sound of a car passing outside clearly audible.

Then Ryder surprised her by turning and walking back to the table, pulling her along with his hold on her waistband, making her step hurriedly backwards while fighting for balance.

He used it to his advantage, dropping down into a chair and pulling her down with him.