Lie to Me (an OddRocket title) (7 page)

"I'm going to quit, Cassie," he'd say. I imagined him running his hands through his dark hair, his eyes brimming with tears. "It hurts me too much to be near you."

"If you think it's best," I'd say and squeeze his hand. In my imagination, I never lost my temper and I never cried because I wasn't
that
girl. I was the kind of girl who sailed across the ocean with the wind blowing through her hair. I laughed at trivial things like lying ex-boyfriends and disloyal friends.

The chime on the front door rang and I looked up as RD walked in. He winked at me before smiling at Mariah. "You all open?" he said, pointing to the empty restaurant.

"Sure are. Sit anywhere you'd like," Mariah answered over her shoulder.

"Thanks." He took off his baseball hat and sat with his back toward me at the same table as before. I'd already started to think of the booth by the window as his. When he walked past me, he smiled. His eyes crinkled up and his whole face changed.

"Can you bring him a menu, Cass?" Mariah said.

"Sure," I said, trying to look totally unaffected. My eyes drifted back to RD. He looked kissed by the sun. He looked like gold to me.

The sound of Addie screaming cut through the restaurant. She burst through the swinging red doors, running straight toward me. "Something's wrong with Mom!" She stood gasping in front of the counter, eyes darting from Mariah to me. "She fell asleep, but she's not asleep and now she won't wake up!"

Mariah dropped a sugar container on the brick floor. It shattered, dusting the ground with sparkling sugar glass. She ran past Addie into the kitchen. I followed.

Mom lay on the floor, her purse beside her spilling open: Keys, cellphone, chapstick and a small bottle that looked like a prescription. She didn't look like she was asleep. She looked empty. Her eyes closed, skin pale, it was as if all the life had escaped her.

Mariah cradled Mom's head in her arms. The way Mom's arms hung limply by her sides with her toes pointing outwards made her look like a rag doll. She must have just gotten back from the mainland, walked in the back door and then what? Collapsed? Slipped on the floor? The refrigerator door wide open, it looked like she'd fallen down as she'd reached for something inside.

"Naomi." Mariah knelt over Mom, lightly slapping her face. "Naomi, can you hear me?"

"What's wrong with her?" I said, my voice shaking.

"She'll be okay," Mariah said, turning back to Mom. "I think she fainted."

"Why?" I gasped. I reached over and grabbed the prescription bottle from the floor. Mom didn't even like to take aspirin. "What is she taking?"

"Put those down, Cassie." Mariah reached for the pills.

"No," I said. The label was from a pharmacy in Seattle. "Something’s wrong. Mom doesn't take medicine. She doesn't faint."

Mariah sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I can't do this."

"Do what?" I said. I looked at Mom's pale blue sweat suit and her shoes, the comfortable ones she wore in the garden. She dressed up more going to the grocery store. "She didn't go to the mainland to meet with a supplier, did she?"

"You need to talk to your Mom?" Mariah said.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'm not going to get into the middle of this."

"Middle of what?"

I heard crying. Addie stood behind me, her back against the counter. She leaned into it as if she wanted to push herself out of the room. I couldn't stop looking at Mom's face, the way her mouth opened, slack jawed. What was Mariah talking about? All of a sudden, my mother's puffy face and baggy eyes looked different to me; she no longer looked tired, she looked sick.

The kitchen door swung open. It was RD.

Before I had time to even say hello, RD walked right in and knelt beside Mom. "I can help," he said softly.

Mariah nodded and slid away, making room for him. I don't know why she trusted him right away, but she did. There was something about his voice that just made him sound strong.

"I think she fainted," she said. "I checked her pulse."

RD nodded and then looked up at Addie and me. "Your mom is going to be okay." His eyes lingered on my face and I felt my shoulders lower.

"You sure?" I whispered.

"Yep," he smiled. "We're going to raise her legs up here.” He stood and lifted Mom's feet. "We just need to help her brain wake up, get the blood flow going where it should be."

Addie wrinkled her nose, but the tears stopped. I wanted to run across the room and throw my arms around RD so I could disappear into his deep voice. His words sounded like promises. He could make mom okay. In the course of a few minutes, I no longer felt like I understood the rules in my life. Mom and Mariah were keeping secrets.

"Trust me," RD said, his voice focused, his face so composed, so strong. I didn't want him to leave until Mom was back to normal. I wanted him to keep us all safe.

I nodded and scooted along the kitchen floor, making sure to give him more room while Mariah cradled Mom's head in her lap.

"Wake up. Wake up. Wake up," Addie whispered.

RD lowered Mom's feet to the ground. And then, she opened her eyes. I felt like RD had performed a magic trick and somehow brought her back to life.

Mom gasped and pulled herself into a sitting position. I wondered if she felt like someone who'd almost drowned in that moment they first taste the air.

"You're okay, Naomi," Mariah said, giving Mom some room.

"Mom." Addie ran to her as Mom stood up. "You were asleep."

"Oh, Addie. Oh, God." Mom stroked Addie's hair and looked around the kitchen at Mariah, RD and me. "I'm so embarrassed."

"You fainted," RD said, standing. He closed the refrigerator door and leaned against it. "I took first aid in college. Almost was pre-med. Almost, but I do remember a thing or two."

"I fainted. I don't know why. It's okay, Adelaide." Mom pulled Addie to her chest. My little sister cried. She didn't like it when people threw up, so fainting was definitely going to be on her list of mentally scarring incidents. "Shh, Addie. Momma's fine." She hadn't called herself Momma in front of us for years. "I must have given you all quite a scare."

Mariah leaned against the counter. "Naomi, maybe you want to talk to the girls?" She nodded toward me. I held the prescription bottle in my pocket.

"I'm fine, Mariah." Mom's face flushed red. "I'm sorry. Thank you for helping me." Mom reached out to shake RD’s hand. She wouldn't look me in the eye. Why wasn't Mom looking at me?

"I'm RD," he said. "I'm on the dock for the summer." Hearing him introduce himself reminded me of our secret. We weren't telling anyone about sailing together and now I felt like I owed him more than just loyalty. He'd saved Mom.

"Thank you, RD. I'm Naomi." Mom shook his hand. "These are my girls. This is Addie." Addie didn't let go of Mom, but opened her eyes to get a good look at RD. "And this is Cassie." Mom nodded toward me.

"I think you were my waitress yesterday," RD said, smiling when he looked at me.

"Oh, yeah. I knew I'd seen you before." I felt so powerful in that moment. Lying about knowing him, having a secret, it almost made me forget about the pills in my pocket. I watched Mom as she smiled and tried to act like this was just a normal summer night at the Hideaway.

"I apologize for causing such a scene," Mom said, flushing. "Come on, girls, let’s get RD back to his table so he can enjoy his meal. Cassie, can you stay? I'm going to take your sister home." I followed Mom and Addie back into the restaurant. Addie had fastened her arms around Mom's waist like a barnacle.

"You're not telling me something," I said, my voice low so only Mom could hear.

"Cassie, please," Mom smiled, her mouth unsteady. "Just help Mariah, all right?"

Moms don't lie, at least they aren't supposed to. Mom walked to the entryway with Addie and buttoned up her lemon-lime coat. Rain pelted the windows, tapping with invisible fingertips. RD had taken his seat in the booth underneath the humming, neon Open sign. He looked intently at his menu like it was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. He was being polite and trying not to listen.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked, my voice sounding louder than I expected, my emotions bubbling close to the surface. Addie's head snapped up from her pink backpack. "What are these?" I said, holding out the pills. I could read her name in the light. Naomi Safire, take twice a day for nausea. "Why are you nauseous?"

"Where did you get those?" Mom said, grabbing the pills from me.

"Naomi, the girls need to know." Mariah's voice sounded soft and nervous, both qualities I wasn't used to hearing from her.

"God damn it, Mariah!" Mom shouted. "I am not talking to my girls in the Hideaway. This is not the time. This is not the place."

RD got up from his table and picked up his sweatshirt.

"Sit down," Mom barked, which I thought was rude considering he'd just helped her. Addie whimpered softly in her little-lost-puppy voice. "Cassandra Marie Safire, I am taking your sister home and we are not having this conversation. I will come back and pick you up later."

I looked at Mom. She was sick. She was taking pills and she wasn't talking. I looked at the front door and thought of sailing away with RD on his boat. And then, for some reason, I thought of that girl who drowned in the Sound the summer before and I imagined how she must have felt gasping for air. My mind raced. I didn't want to talk to Mom, but I couldn't think of a way out of it. Then, suddenly, I thought of the perfect lie. "I don't need a ride," I said. "I agreed to talk to Priya later. She'll drop me off."

Mom stopped to consider what I'd said. I think she was a bit surprised that we'd reconciled so quickly. "That's good to hear."

"I figure she's told me the truth, so I owe it to her to listen." I stared Mom down with every word. She didn’t flinch.

"Be home by nine."

"Fine." I sat on a stool by the counter, my back to the front door. I didn't even turn around and look when I heard her leave. I was painfully aware of my breath and the knowledge RD was sitting in the window behind me. I didn't want to turn and look at him; I thought seeing him would make me cry.

"Cassie." Mariah walked toward me.

I held my hand out so she wouldn't come any closer. I didn't want her to touch me. I felt like an animal trapped in a cage. "I have to go," I said, jumping down from my stool. Before Mariah could say anything, I grabbed my pink sweater and bolted out the front door. The clouds had opened up and unleashed another storm onto a perfectly beautiful, summer day. I ran down the front steps out into the rain.

The thing about running away in the middle of a big storm is it feels really good, like you're escaping something, but the truth is, it's not that smart. After running for about five minutes up the road and onto Island Drive, my chest hurt from crying, my head throbbed something awful and I couldn't believe how cold my face was. I was such an idiot. Where did I think I was going anyway? I had no one to call, nowhere to go. Even if I decided to return one of Priya's million phone calls, I'd left my cell phone, my backpack, everything, at the Hideaway. In twenty-four hours, my horrible summer had gone from humiliating to terrifying. I walked in the rain, relieved that if anyone saw me, they wouldn't be able to tell where the rain ended and my tears began.

I walked along the asphalt path that mirrored the winding road toward home. I jumped to the side to avoid getting soaked as a car drove by. Then, a dark brown van slowed as it passed, spraying water into the air. My shoes were soaked and I had the chills. This was some June. The van pulled over. Someone sat in the driver's seat, waiting. Oh, great. Now I would probably get abducted. Vans were bad news. Even I knew that. Mom said nothing good ever happened in the back of a van. The passenger window rolled down and I saw someone lean toward me.

"You really are going for the worst summer of the year, aren't you?" Sitting in the driver's side was RD. "Get in," he said. Just seeing him made me smile.

"
Mariah sent me," RD said. The air in the car felt warm on my face and smelled like lemons. An air freshener hung from his rearview mirror. "She wants you to call," he said
, pointing to my backpack on the seat beside him.

"I don't want to," I said, standing in the rain.

"At least take your phone. Let me drive you back to the restaurant."

"I don't want to go there."

"Should have known you were stubborn," he laughed. "Seriously, will you just get inside so you aren't freezing? Come on, don't make me a failure." He reached over and unlocked the door. I looked at the rain coming down on Island Drive. Where was I even going?

"I'm not going back there and I'm not calling anyone."

"You don't really have plans with your friend, do you?" he said.

I didn't answer.

"I won't take you back," he said.

“Okay then.” I climbed in the car.

"So, where do you want to go?" RD pulled away from the curb after waiting for a gap in the traffic.

"Somewhere nobody knows me."

"You know this island. I don't." The car idled at a stop sign. "Just point me some place where I can park this thing. We can talk for a few minutes and you'll feel better. You know, talk it out, turn that frown upside down."

I doubted I'd feel better. I felt friendless and betrayed by everyone, including my mother. My stomach clenched and I felt sick wondering what was wrong with her. "Why would my mom pretend to be okay, when she isn't?" I suddenly asked. It occurred to me that I had no one to talk to anymore.

RD looked a little shocked at my question. He nodded through the rain at a road that went up a small hill. "Does that lead to the park with those views of the mainland?"

"Yes," I said. I felt small. Small and scared.

"Let’s go there," he said, his voice soft. "Why don't we just chill and look at the lights. You need to clear your head, I think. I get that."

"Sure," I said. I kept my face turned toward the passenger window. I could see my reflection in the glass. It was dark outside and the instrument panel lit up the inside of the car with purple and red lights. I didn't want to cry, but the tears in my eyes kept welling up and then retreating like water threatening to spill over the top of a dam.