Life After That (30 page)

 "No. Why can't we talk later?"

"We can talk, of course we can. I just. can't go to your house today."

 "Why not?" Kirstin felt Grace was weird.

 "Why not? It's just that. I promised my brother I'd help him out with this thing tonight and I don't know what time he'll get home, so I have to be there when he gets there."

 "Oh, ok. Can I go to your place, then? After work?"

"Yes, of course."

"After 6 then?"

"Yeah, ok."

 "I gotta go now, G. But see you at 6." "Bye K."

. . .

MTV Studio - 3 p.m.

Kirstin was working at editing for a while now and she sure had skills. Sometime Andy, her boss, would trust her a whole Making The Band episode, she was that good, but today, she was totally unfocused.

"Kirstin Wake up! Didn't you hear me saying stop?" Andy woke her from her thoughts.

 "Oh, I'm sorry Andy. I didn't hear you. Can we start again?"

 "Well, we are gonna have to. Just try to focus, ok?"

 "Yes, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

 "It better not." When it was 5:30 pm, Andy said it would be ok for Kirstin to go. Things were done for the day and Andy also felt Kirstin wasn't feeling too good, so he sent her home. Kirstin got her car in the parking lot and drove to Grace's apartment.

. . .

Grace's Apartment

"Hey, come in." Grace greeted, motioning for her friend to get in. Seeing no one was home, Kirstin yelled something that was making her go crazy, she had to tell someone about that.

 "I kissed Tom last night!"

 "You did what?" Grace asked shutting the door behind her.

 "I kissed Tom last night." Kirstin sat on the sofa and held her head with both her hands.

 "You didn't!"

 "I did! I did! I really did! How stupid am I?"

 "Pretty stupid! What were you thinking? Why do I even ask? You obviously weren't thinking!" Grace was pacing around the couch Kirstin sat on.

"I know! I know! But. I'm so messed up I can't think straight! I'm totally messed up!"

 "What do you mean?"

"I don't know what to do anymore. Let's just say there was a person in your life who you were always in love with. And then something happened and he was gone for a while. And then you met another person and you started to have feeling for him." Kirstin stared with a pleaded look at Grace and Grace sat next to her.

Kirstin continued "Do you think it's possible you could have feelings for two people at the same time, G?"

"Very, K. Very. What is not possible is to be true to two people at once. And you know that Tom has feelings for his own."

 "I don't know wanna hurt him more than I already did, G."

 "Don't toy with him."

 "I'm not."

 "I know things have been difficult for you and I know Tom has been the type of friend you needed and by the time you needed a friend like him. And you do care for him, possible as more than a friend. But if you don't intend to pursue those feelings, and I don't believe you do, you have to let him go.

" Kirstin just stared at her friend. She hugged Grace and got up from the couch, heading to the door. Before shutting it, she said :

 "Thank you Grace." And then, Kirstin was off to her car.

. . .

Kirstin's apartment building

Kirstin was getting into the elevator. On the way to her loft, in the car, she had come to a decision. It wasn't gonna be easy, but she knew it was not only the best thing for her, but also for him. Still, it would not be easy to explain it to him. When she put the key on her lock, she heard a music coming from inside "Weird" she thought. When she opened the door, her jaw dropped. She couldn't believe her eyes.

NEW YOR CITY, NY – Kirstin's Loft – Monday

Kirstin was amazed by the image. Ashley was in front of her holding a single white rose and the apartment was amazingly set. Ashley took her hand in his, gave her the flower without saying a word and embrace her so they could dance to the sound of Glenn Medeiros´ Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for you.

If I had to live my life without you near me

The days would all be empty

The nights would seem so long

With you I see forever oh so clearly

I might have been in love before

But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young and we both know

They'll take us where we want to go

Hold me now

Touch me now

I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

You only change my whole life through

But nothing's gonna change my love for you

Kirstin took a better look at the apartment while dancing with Ashley. There were candles all over the place, all over the kitchen counter, a candle for each step of the stairs. The candlelight was the only thing lighting the place, so it was pretty romantic.

If the road ahead is not so easy

Our love will lead the way for us

Like a guiding star

I'll be there for you if you should need me

You don't have to change a thing

I love you just the way you are

So come with me and share the view

I'll help you see forever too

Hold me now

Touch me now

I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

You'll only change my whole life through

But nothing's gonna change my love for you

When the music stopped, they both stopped dancing, but Kirstin's head was still on Ashley's shoulder. She had tears all over her face. It was all too much for her. She felt she didn't deserve it. After a while, Ashley pulled back gently, kind of worried:

"K, are you ok, baby?"

"Yeah" Kirstin answered with a weak smile on, whipping off her tears "I'm fine. I just… I don't know what to say… it's all so… just… wonderful and -"

"You don't have to say a thing" Ashley cut her off "I just wanted to know if you liked it or not."

"Oh, I loved it Ashley, I just think I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you and -"

"Shhh!" Ashley held her in his arms "Of course you deserve it. I love you. You deserve even more."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do! No shut up and kiss me 'cause you haven't kissed me yet." Ashley pressured his lips on Kirstin. Kirstin enjoyed the kiss, but kept on thinking if she was making the right choice. When they pulled back from the kiss, Ashley grabbed her hand and said, "Now we eat!"

"What? Where?" Kirstin stared at the kitchen counter and saw there was nothing on but the candles.

"Upstairs. I cooked."

"No! You did not! You can't cook!"

"Well, now you are just saying that to hurt me! Of course I can cook!"

"You can not! I remember when you tried to grill a steak and you burned it! You can't even grill a steak, let alone cook a meal!"

"Now I'm hurt!" Ashley made a hurt face.

"Oh, sorry baby. But you know that's the truth!" Kirstin giggled.

"Yeah, ok ok! But I've learned how to cook. Of course it's not a great, fancy dinner. It's bachelor's food. Let's go upstairs and you'll see what I'm talking about."

When they got upstairs, Kirstin got even more amazed. On the floor, in front of the foot of the bed, Ashley had set plates, forks, a bottle of wine, 2 glasses.

"Voilá! Mac and cheese!"

"Oh! Now I get it!" Kirstin laughed softly.

"It was either this or cereal, and I know you don't like cereal, so… Mac and Cheese!"

"Thanks Ashley" Kirstin was still giggling, "It was really thoughtful of you!"

"I know. I know!" Ashley was also giggling, "Let's sit then." And they both sat on the floor.

They started eating and the food was actually good. Ashley was proud of himself. But something was bothering both of them. Kirstin had something she wanted to tell Ashley and Ashley had something he wanted to tell Kirstin. But neither had the guts to start talking, so they ate dinner in silence. When they finished it, Ashley got the courage to talk.

"K, there is something I have to tell you."

"Yes." Kirstin answered, already worried but Ashley's serious tone of voice.

"Remember that, when I got here I told you I was gonna stay until tomorrow at midnight?"

"Yes."

"Well… actually, something happened and we are leaving tomorrow, first thing in the morning."

"Ow…" Ashley saw the disappointed look on Kirstin's face. But somehow, Kirstin was already waiting for some disappointing news. Ashley was all about that, not having time for them. But she understood. Kind of.

"That's it? You are not gonna yell or anything?"

"I know it's not your fault. I totally understand it."

"Really?"