Life After That (27 page)

"Oh, yes." she said, moaning. Ashley managed to smile as he brought his mouth to one of her breasts. Her eyes closed and she just let the feeling of Ashley making love to her fill her. Kirstin threw her arms over her head, her eyes still on his. Intense pleasure was building in her Ashley increased his pace even more and Kirstin knew she wouldn't be able to hold on. "Ashley!" she nearly screamed as he brought her over the edge. She arched her back as wave after wave of pleasure took over her body. Tears slid from her eyes as her body shook, uncontrollably. Ashley closed his eyes, tightly, as Kirstin's body gripped his. With a hoarse cry, he, too, released. He rolled over, pulling Kirstin with him and they both lay, gasping for breath, their bodies tangled tightly together. Kirstin lay on top of Ashley, her body still shaking slightly. Ashley's hands slid over her back and she shivered. He smiled and opened his eyes. He just stared at the ceiling, feeling too good to move.

"How do you feel?" he asked. Kirstin stretched and sighed, deeply.

"Terrific." she said. Ashley kissed her again before he got up and went into the bathroom to clean himself up. Kirstin snuggled down in the bed. He got back and they got under the covers. He was sliding his hand over her stomach as he kissed her.

She laid her head on Ashley's bare chest. He was stroking her hair gently. Kirstin felt weird after all that. She had just made love with the guy she loved in high school and believe loved still. It was great. Amazing sex! And she sure felt she had deep feelings for him, but she still was unsure if it was real love.

'Why am I so confused? From high school until the day we met again 4 months ago I was so sure I loved him and only him. But why now I'm not so sure anymore?' she thought before falling asleep.

NEW YORK CITY, NY – Kirstin's Loft – Sunday

Kirstin stretched. She opened her eyes and saw Ashley looking at her from his side of the bed. He was smiling at her. She didn't say anything, just smiled back. Like that, they stayed for a while. Ashley was unbelievably happy. He was smiling because he couldn't help but smile. She was so beautiful. He loved her so much and was so happy they had shared that intimate moment the night before. And sleeping with her wrapped around his arms was terrific. He couldn't believe that finally, she was his. All his. She had chosen him. The girl he had always loved was right there, lying in bed with him that Sunday morning, smiling her beautiful smile at him.

"Hey." Kirstin decided to speak through her smile, in a sweet tone.

"Hi." Ashley, too, said in a kind tone.

"What are you thinking about?" she thought it was weird him there, just looking at her smiling.

"That I love you too much." Kirstin's smile faded. She still couldn't say it back at him, she felt bad for that because she didn't know why she couldn't say it back. She wanted to, but the words just wouldn't come out. But by the look on Ashley's face, she sensed he needed to hear something from her. She sat up right in front of him, both of them with their legs crossed.

"I really, really, really, really, really like you a lot! But…"

"Shhh…" Ashley placed his index finger gently on Kirstin's lips. "Don't say anything, what you just said was enough for me."

Ashley smiled but Kirstin didn't. Ashley was being too nice to her. She felt she didn't deserve him.

"Come on! Get ready and we're going out to eat breakfast."

Kirstin's Car

"Where are we going anyway?" Kirstin asked from the passenger seat. She had asked Ashley to drive them.

"What do you say we go to the
hotel
, eat breakfast there so I can see what I have to do today, 'cause if I have nothing, we could do something together."

"Ok." Kirstin agreed. It sounded like a good idea. So they headed to the hotel.

Hotel

Ashley was going into the hotel's restaurant holding hands with Kirstin when he heard a familiar voice call out his name.

"Yo Ash! Over here!" he turned to see Trevor waving at him. Ash waved back but didn't go to the table right away. He and Kirstin trailed to the buffet table to get food. After getting everything they wanted, they got to the table and greeted Erik, Jacob, Dan and Trevor that were all at the table and sat down. Trevor started, grinning:

"So… how was your night?"

"Good, good." Ashley replied with a big smile. He didn't have to say anything else for the guys to understand what he wanted to tell but wouldn't. Kirstin just took a sip of her orange juice. After that, she asked, looking at Trevor and Erik:

"And how was yours?"

"It was great! We had such a great time! Grace is so cool!" Erik was all enthusiastic.

"I'm so glad you guys liked her. She is cool. No wonder she is my best friend. But… what about Tom and Lexie?" she asked not facing anyone at the table, playing with the eggs on her plate.

"We didn't really have a chance to talk to them, they were all over each other the whole night." Trevor answered Kirstin. Ashley was focused on Kirstin's facial expressions. He wanted to see if that was getting to her nerves.

"Oh, I see…" Kirstin was looking down, no expression on her face. Ashley talked then.

"What time did you leave the club?"

"I think it was around 4."

"Wow! It was really great then!" Ashley exclaimed "Because we left, what? 1, 2 a.m.?"

"It sure was!" Trevor was still excited about the night before "I got some new numbers to add on my phone book!" he winked.

"And…" Kirstin spoke up "Did Tom give you guys a ride back to the hotel as I told him to?"

"Yes. He drove Grace home, then brought us here." Erik answered.

"Oh, ok. Good, good." Kirstin glanced down, wondering 'Wonder if he went home with Lexie'.

Everybody finished their breakfast and went their separate way.

Ashley and Kirstin went to find the Mikes so they'd know the band's appointments for the day. They knocked on the Mikes' room door.

"Hey Ashley. Hey Kirstin. Come in." Mike Cronin motioned for the two of them to enter the room.

"Where's the other Mike?"

"He's out. Had to take care of renting the limo."

"I see. I wanted to know our schedule for today."

"You have to do one radio interview and a photo shoot."

"What time?"

"The radio is at 3 and the photo shoot… let me check." Mike went through this folder that was on a desk "At 6."

"And do you know the time we get out?"

"Around 8. Why?"

"Nothing. Kirstin and I were planning on doing something later tonight."

"I see."

"Alright then Mike. Bye man. Thanks!"

"Bye." Kirstin spoke shyly.

"Bye you guys."

When they were out on the hall, Ashley talked:

"So… what about tonight?"

"I don't know. What do you think?"

"I could go to your house again. We could have dinner."

"Yeah, ok, I guess."

"K, are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Why are you asking?"

"I don't know. You're weird today. Can we go to my room and talk?"

"Ok."

When they were sitting on the foot of Ashley's bed, he started:

"So… how are you? Are you feeling ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine Ashley. I told you that already."

"Yeah, but it doesn't look like you're alright. You're… different. Does it… have anything to do with, you know? Last night? Do you regret it?"

"No Ash! Of course not! It was great! I've never felt so loved by anyone before like I did last night!"

"Maybe it's because everyone you've been with didn't deserve to be with you" when Ashley finished talking, he saw a tear drop from Kirstin's eyes and make its way down her chin "What K? What's wrong baby? " Kirstin hugged him tightly "What baby? Talk to me please." He patted her back.

"Thank you."

"What? Why thank you? What are you thanking me for?"

"For loving me."

"You shouldn't thank me. I should thank you for letting me show you how much I love you."

Kirstin was still hugging him, crying like a baby.

"Shh… it's ok." Ashley was trying to calm her down. He then thought of something that could be the reason she was crying "K, I know you don't like talking about it, but… can you tell me what happened to you before we met? With your other 2 boyfriends?"

Kirstin pulled back from the hug suddenly.

"Why? Why? Why do you wanna know about that?"

"Why? Because it's obvious they hurt you pretty badly and they are still hurting you because of whatever they did. And I wanna help you get over that. But in order to do that I need to know what happened."

Kirstin shyly looked away. She knew she'd have to talk about it with someone someday. She wouldn't want to but she would have to. And the time had come. She couldn't think of anyone better than Ashley to let all of that out of her system. He would comfort her. He clearly loved her.

She got up from the bed and stood in front of the room's big window. She wanted to start talking but the words wouldn't come out of her mouth. She felt a warm embrace from behind. Ashley placed his chin on her shoulder and they stared at the view. She felt safe. Ashley would protect her. He would never do anything like the others did to her.

"It's alright. You don't have to tell me." Ashley whispered in a sweet tone.

"No Ash. I want to." Kirstin turned to face him "Let's sit first." She led him to this couch in the room. Kirstin had her head down. Ashley covered her right hand with both his hands to make her see everything would be fine. Kirstin glanced up deeply into Ashley's beautiful blue eyes and started talking again "I was in 9th grade when I met Jess. It was love at first sight. I was so naive" she shook her head "I was what? 14 years old? So, anyways, he was a quarterback, I was cheerleader."

"You were a cheerleader?" Ashley sounded surprised. He would never figure Kirstin had been a cheerleader one day. She was nothing like a cheerleader. Kirstin giggled at his surprised look.

"Yes, I was a cheerleader. A long time ago. So… me being a cheerleader and he being the time's quarterback, we being a couple was gonna happen anytime. But for me it was not about 'Oh, I'm the cheerleader so I HAVE to have the quarterback'. I really, really, really loved Jess. He was the first boy I've ever loved. And then when we got together it was like… a lot of people were happy for us but on the other hand a lot of people hated us as well. We were seen as the sweet, perfect couple every high school had. But there were people jealous of us. Especially the girls. Girls were crazy about Jess. He was tall, strong, blond, blue eyes. He was a year older than me. He was every high school girl's dream. We were together for 6 months when they were this party at this guy's place. He played with Jess. Everything was fine, I was talking to my friends and then realized Jess was missing. I went looking for him and found him in bed with a slut that was also on the cheerleading squad. After that, I left the squad 'cause I couldn't be partners with that slut and swore I'd never love someone again. But then, a while later, there was Taylor. He was in my math class. We were friends while I was dating Jess and he helped me a lot when I was down because of Jess. It's hard when it's the first time you're ever in love with someone and you get so heartbroken as it happened with me and Jess, because I really thought he loved me too. And Taylor was my shoulder to cry on. It was like that all the time and when we were in 10th grade, we eventually got together. We were a couple for 10 months. At the 7th month, I lost my virginity to him. I really thought he was the one I should do it with. And it was great. I never regretted losing my virginity to him because the night was so special and he was such a gentleman. He was my friends first then my boyfriend. It felt perfect. But then he became violent." Kirstin stopped when she saw the angry look on Ashley's face "Not like that. He did not hit on me. I wouldn't allow it. I'm not stupid. No man is worth it. Our relationship became to get weird this one night we were in bed. I didn't want to have sex with him because we were in my room and my mom and dad could get home at anytime. But he wanted to have sex. And he was big, really strong! I couldn't fight back even if I wanted to. And he was pretty smooth too. He would, little by little, talk me into it, taking my clothes off. All the time I was asking him to stop. He wouldn't listen, saying it was fine, that he loved me, I belonged to him. Then he entered me. During all the sex, I turned my face to not look at him and I was crying during the whole thing."