Life Is Not a Reality Show (23 page)

Accessories are important, and it doesn’t end with handbags, of course. The little details they add can raise an outfit from the mundane to the sublime. Or they can turn a generic outfit into something that’s truly
you
. You know that Gucci jacket of my mother’s I was telling you about? The night I wore it, Mauricio and I were taking our daughters to a concert—the kind of concert where I didn’t know half the names of the performers. So I wore the jacket but rolled up the sleeves, put it on with jeans, and mixed my jewelry in with it all. The rolled sleeves and jeans made it appropriate for the event, but my jewelry made it
me
.

If I put on an outfit that looks kind of dull, I then think of it as a canvas and start adding long chains and other things to spice it up. Gold hoops are a staple of mine; I often wear them when I’m wearing a necklace. I also like diamond studs. But sometimes I switch it up and play with different earrings and bangles, trying to find just the right balance. You have to be careful about going too far when you’re adding things, because it’s easy to go past the point of perfection. Use some restraint and look for balance. For example, I would never wear bangles on both arms—on one I wear a watch.

My jewelry is just like everything else—a mix of high and low, half costume / half real. I love some of my costume pieces even more than the pricier ones! There’s definitely no need to go broke on jewelry.

And don’t forget sunglasses. They’re not jewelry but I kind of think of them that way, because they can change up your outfit just like jewelry. I have a lot pairs in a lot of different styles and colors, because I
love
to wear them—especially big ones. You have to buy the shapes that are best for your face, though. I have a square face so I can get away with wearing the big ones. I’ve got my huge Jackie O sunglasses in black, tortoise, and pink!

I’m also big on belts because I like to wear flowing blouses, and pairing a beautiful wide belt with a flowing top not only creates a waistline, but also creates a statement: now it’s not just a blouse, it’s a put-together look. Sometimes I’ll use a really long chain necklace as a belt. Don’t be afraid to play around and do unexpected things. It’s all part of developing your personal style!

You’ll see me in hats a lot too. I think hats are very underrated. A hat can almost be like a wig when you’re not having a great hair day or you want to be a little more private. But they can also be a great addition to your outfit. I like a black fedora with a blazer and jeans. Sometimes I’ll wear a cowboy hat or a straw hat in the sun. A lot of people tell me, “Oh, I can’t wear hats, they don’t look good on me.” But I bet they really haven’t tried. It can feel funny to have something on your head when you’re not used to it! But give it a shot. Sample different styles and give yourself time. This is one of those occasions when taking a friend to shop can be a good thing, because she might see how it flatters before you do.

Finally, don’t forget one of your most important accessories—your hair. It’s a crucial part of your look. When designers show their new collections, they spend a lot of time making sure each hairdo is just right for the clothes they’re sending down the runway.

For example, I wouldn’t want to wear a big, long gown and then wear my hair long too, because that would be overwhelming. Too much dress plus too much hair equals too, too much! I would pull my hair back for that, and that style has the advantage of letting you show off your face and your earrings, which can be quite elegant.

On the other hand, if your silhouette is pared down or your outfit is more minimalist, hair that’s long or has a lot of volume can balance it out. Balance—there it is again! Obviously a style staple!

Some hairdos can work with almost anything though, and we love those, don’t we? A ponytail is great because you can just as easily wear it to the market as to a black-tie event.

Well, I’ve told you just about all the style secrets I know. Now all you have to do is go out and deploy them in your own individual way. Because individuality is the true essence of style!

Everyone says that my husband and I are the best entertainers, because when people come to our house they never want to leave. That’s exactly the way we want people to feel. We want them to be welcome and comfortable and so happy in our home they feel like it’s their home too. That, to me, is the essence of entertaining.

You may have seen the episodes of the show where Mauricio and I throw our annual White Party. It’s a tradition we’ve had for a long time. We usually do it right around Mauricio’s birthday in June, and each year beginning in May, people start asking us, “When are you having the party? You are having it this year, aren’t you?” I love that everyone looks forward to it so much that they start getting antsy about it. To me that’s a huge compliment.

I never say, “Oh, don’t worry, your invitation is in the mail,” because I hardly ever send invitations. Ha! I know it’s more fun to get an actual proper invitation in the mail, but I’m just not organized enough to do that. Since that’s not the way I roll, I usually send emails instead. Look, I’ve decided to do a party two days in advance and somehow managed to pull it together. Mauricio and I are good at doing things last-minute. If I had a bunch of time to plan my parties, I would drive myself crazy worrying about all the details!

And besides, when people know you’ve been planning a party for two months, that puts more pressure on. That is exactly what I don’t want. Mauricio and I strive for guests in our home to feel welcome in every way.

Making people feel welcome—it’s the whole point of entertaining, isn’t it? And yet I’ve been to gatherings where I definitely did not get the sense of being welcomed. I bet you’ve had the same kind of experience. Like when you go to someone’s house and there’s only a little bit of food, so you feel scared to eat. It makes you uncomfortable and nervous.

To me it’s the most basic of all the rules of entertaining: when your guests arrive, have candles lit and music on and flowers around the house. Provide an instant welcome. Make people feel that you’ve been eagerly anticipating their presence.

Last night Mauricio and I had a bunch of friends over and we all cooked in the kitchen together. We had pasta with shrimp, garlic, and olive oil, as well as chicken and a cheese platter. Then we watched movies and had popcorn. We hung out. That’s what I want my home to be: a place where people hang out—and not just my kids and their friends, but everyone.

At my daughter’s birthday party I had a petting zoo and a moon bounce and princesses walking around, and sang “Happy Birthday” in Spanish. People had a good time.

Adults are just the same as kids, let me tell you. They want an environment where they can just let their hair down, be themselves, and feel free to have fun. If you use that as your guiding principle, no matter what kind of entertaining you’re doing, your guests will almost surely have a great time.

With entertaining, it’s all about the vibe. Or really I should say vibes, because, no matter what, you want people to feel relaxed and comfortable, but you also want something to create atmosphere and energy specific to the kind of gathering you’re hosting.

For example, with our White Parties, especially when we lived in our old house, which was very modern and had a huge backyard, we liked to go for a hip Miami club vibe. I love theme parties and I think other people do too; they’re a license to live it up.

We make everyone wear white to the White Party. At first people are a little bit annoyed at being told they have to dress a certain way, but next thing you know everyone’s running around having fun looking for their outfit. It actually creates anticipation and excitement. And I’ve found that everyone looks beautiful in white!

Then we set out a sea of white tablecloths and flowers and candles, with lights in the trees and a dance floor. The first year we even had mattresses and cabanas. We try to find that balance where it’s elegant, but people can still let loose.

I also like to have a Halloween party every year, because that’s my daughter Farrah’s birthday. We do an open house, and all our friends come over with their kids and we all march out to go trick-or-treating at some point. I make macaroni and cheese and chicken fingers for the kids and lasagna and salad for the adults. And of course I always tell people to come in costume!

Decor is just as important with a Halloween party as it is with something like the White Party. I would decorate for Halloween anyway! I start on October 1 and bring out these little sparkly beaded pumpkins I have and put them out all around the house. I have a witch with a cauldron, and I put dry ice in it so it looks like something’s brewing! I do a graveyard in front of the house with skeletons and tombstones. My older kids have begun making fun of me, but the younger ones still like it—and I know the adults do too! Grown-ups like having permission to feel like a kid again. That’s another secret to keep in mind.

People appreciate when you’ve gone to a lot of effort for them. You want everything to be fabulous, ready and waiting for your guests when they arrive. You don’t want them to see you running around, panting and sweating, huffing and puffing, working to get things right. That’s liable to make them feel uncomfortable. They want you to be enjoying the festivities with them.

Entertaining is a
lot
of work. Especially if you cook. I am not one of those people that finds cooking relaxing. Cooking for a party is a huge job. My God, all the chopping and prepping. (And as you know, I almost always fail to heed my mother’s advice about cleaning up as I go and end up with every pot and pan I own dirtied and strewn all over the kitchen!) NOT GOOD!

But food is such a critical element at a party. Never underestimate it. The absolute worst thing is not having enough food. Nothing kills a sense of celebration like running out of food—or putting out so little to begin with that people feel they’re not even supposed to eat it. Mauricio and I always have tons and tons of it. There’s something so pleasurable about knowing, even on a subconscious level, that you can eat to your heart’s content all through the night. Or is that just me?

The kind of food you serve matters too, of course, especially if people are going to be roaming around, maybe holding a drink in one hand and eating with the other. You don’t want people struggling with messy food or huge pieces they have to try to choke down in one bite! Women in particular will feel awkward and self-conscious about eating if there’s a chance something’s going to be hanging out of their mouth or crumbling everywhere. That is especially true if the cameras are filming you eat; take it from me!

When we bought our new house, we just moved around the corner. I had driven by the house many times and always wanted it. When it came on the market, it was like a dream come true! We spent a lot of time renovating it. My friend Faye Resnick, who’s an architectural and interior designer, helped us decorate it, and I learned a lot from her. I still have a lot to learn, but I’m getting there.

It’s funny. People ask me for advice on decorating their house and I say, “Have a husband with a good eye and a friend who’s an interior designer!” My husband works with high-end real estate, so he’s very good about identifying a house’s assets and flaws. He knows when it has good “bones,” and he can see all the possibilities of what you can do with it.

Our old house was great, in a kind of Balinese modern style. But we sold it furnished, so we had to start all over with this house and replace everything, down to the forks. This house is truly everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s done in a French country style, with distressed wood floors and whitewashed furniture. I wanted it all to be elegant but casual and cozy, kind of like something you’d see in the Hamptons, very fresh and clean. The walls had to be just right. White walls and stark white light bulbs are not conducive to feeling relaxed and comfortable. So I ended up changing the color of the paint on the walls three times. Faye and I drove my husband crazy! But we finally got it right: they have just a bit of a blush tone to them.