Life's Next Chapter (18 page)

The waitress, along with another waiter, brings out the trays of food. The smell is overwhelming. My nose is taking in the scent and telling my stomach to recoil. I place my hand over my nose and try to breathe in and out from my mouth. I gulp down my water, praying that something cold will still the acid that is sloshing around in my stomach. I look up and I see Ella’s big eyes on me.
Oh Shit!!
She smiles and shakes her head. Fuck, I know she knows, it’s must be her pregnant sixth sense, she can smell that I am pregnant. Hell, she is around pregnant ladies all day.

Beth ordered Salmon, Jacob ordered another fish dish covered in sauce, and Luke ordered a steak that could still moo. I’m sweating, trying to make myself not throw up. I quietly get up and tell Luke I need to use the restroom. I walk quickly, and, again, hug the porcelain bowl. When I’m finished, I wash my hands and rinse my mouth.

Walking back to the table, everyone is talking and eating. Luke asks if I am all right, and I just nod to him. I fork my pasta and dip just the tip of my fork into the sauce. I take a bite and my body has no interest in eating Italian tonight. I place the fork back down and drink the water. Ella keeps staring at me. Luke tries to shove potatoes at me, and I tell him no.

“What’s wrong with you? I think you need to see a doctor, Kate; this has been going on for a while. I’m worried about you.”

Ella, the weasel, snaps out, “We have one right here. I think he could diagnose her issue right away, huh, Jacob?” I look at Ella and if my eyes could shoot lasers to her, they would.

Jacob looks at me, takes in what I have been doing all night. “You running a fever?” He asks, but looks to Luke.

Luke bypasses me and says, “No, she has no fever, yet she is constantly sick.” Luke looks like he just solved the puzzle, and I just want to slide under the table and crawl out the back door.

“Kate, could you be pregnant?” Ella questions to all of us. All sixteen eyes are on me. I’m embarrassed and I feel terrible for not telling Luke. I place my napkin on the table, slide out of my chair, and excuse myself. I try to run, but my feet wouldn’t take me as fast as my brain was telling me to get out of there. I walk to the gardens that lead to the huge dock. I start to sob, knowing any minute Luke will be on my tail.

“Kate, wait a minute,” he calls, running towards me.

I stop and look at the ground; I can’t look at him. “Sunshine, please look at me.” Placing his finger under my chin, he raises my face so we can look at each other. I’m holding my breath so I don’t lose it to another sob fest. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” I close my eyes and nod my head. He moves his fingers, so my head can drop and pulls me into his body.

“I’m so sorry, Luke, I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how. I’m still wrapping my brain around it. I’m so sorry for messing this all up, for trapping you into another unplanned parenthood, for lying to you about getting into my Spanx. I’m so sorry.” I just sob even more.

He steps back, with his hands on my arms. He stares at me, waiting for our eyes to lock on one another. “Kate, I love you! I’ve loved you for so long. I think the moment I fell in love with you is when you accepted my scars and being a father; you didn’t even flinch at that fact. I’ve tried for so long to find the strength to tell you these three words. I. Love. You. Kate Caldwell. I’ve never said those words to another woman in my life. You bring out so many new and foreign feelings I’ve never experienced, but I want them all. I want them all right now. I love you, I love Julia and Nicole, and I love this baby,” he breathlessly says to me while rubbing my small bulge. Looking serious all of a sudden, he asks, “How far along?”

“I’m not sure, I just took the test three days ago. I was in denial that I was actually pregnant. I see my doctor Tuesday. I’m assuming seven, maybe eight weeks.”

“I’m coming to that appointment. I want to be there for every part from here on out, do you hear me?”

Even though it is dark and there is just the glow of garden lamps on, I can see his green eyes are burning with love, desire and want. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

He pulls me into his body again, his one hand at the nape of my neck and the other rubbing my lower back. “Marry me,” he mumbles into my hair. I stand frozen, thinking he did not just propose. He steps back and looks into my eyes. “Marry me, Kate. I want nothing more than to marry you, be the husband that would worship you every damn day for the rest of your life, to be the father to our children.” I just look to him, lost and confused.

“Luke, I can’t marry you right now. I’m not saying won’t, just can’t now. What’s going on between us right now is what I went through with Keith. We didn’t know each other; we rushed everything and stopped getting to know one another. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. Let’s just give this time, take it day by day.”

The man looks pissed and hurt. “I’m not fucking Keith, so don’t compare me to that asshole, Kate. I love you, and you just told me I’m going to be a father again; a wish that has only invaded my dreams at night. You’re giving me the life I’ve wanted for so damn long, and then you throw in my face you don’t want to make the same mistake again. Well, I’m here to tell you I’m
not
a mistake, this baby is
not
a mistake. We are right…perfect, and meant to be together. I’ll give you time, but sooner or later, you’ll realize we’re meant to have our forever.”

I walk to him and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. “Luke, I have never known anything more than I know what I want with you. I know you are my other half. All I’m saying is since this baby flipped the order of how things go, let’s focus on the baby for now, and then we’ll plan for marriage. You and I never had a big wedding. A wedding we can tell our grandchildren about. I want a big, over the top wedding, and I certainly don’t want to do it pregnant. Plus, we have our daughters to think about. Throwing a baby and a wedding at all three would be too much, too fast. I love you, Luke Ashton, and I promise I will marry you…one day.”

Luke puts his lips to mine and gives me sweet, soft, and gentle kisses. “I love you,” he whispers onto my mouth.

“I love you, too,” I reply back in the same fashion.

“I’m going to say those three words a lot. I’ve waited forever to say them to you, and only you. Let’s get back to dinner and tell them the news. Since most already know,” Luke says as he pulls me to his side and we walk back into the restaurant with our arms wrapped around each other.

We head back to dinner, where our meals are cold, but our friends welcome us back with open arms. Ella and Beth were already crying when we walked in. Beth is thrilled we all are pregnant together. Ella is hurt we didn’t tell them sooner. Jacob turned doctor mode on me, asking me questions. I told him that I loved him, but couldn’t talk OB/GYN talk with my best friend’s husband; it was too gross for me. Even Olivia, Michael, Ethan, and Chris gave hugs to Luke and me.

After dinner, we all went our separate ways. Luke and I went back to my house, and made love over and over until the sun came up. It was a night I’ll never forget.

I WAKE UP this morning in my own bed, and I am miserable. I miss Kate; I don’t sleep when she isn’t in my arms. Frankly, I don’t know how I ever slept without her. She is the air I breathe, and when she isn’t around I feel like I’m suffocating.

Two weeks ago, I went with Kate to our first baby appointment. She was eight weeks and four days pregnant. We even got a picture of our sweet pea, since that’s all it looked like…a pea. Kate’s still fighting the morning sickness, and it kills me to see her so sick. After the appointment we talked and decided once she’s out of her first trimester we’d tell the girls. I told her I want to tell my parents as soon as possible. They’ve wanted a grandbaby for so long, and I think telling them on Thanksgiving would be the perfect gift for them. Kate is hesitant because it will be the first time she meets everyone. I’ve only told her every night they will love her and this baby simply because I love her.

Now I lie in bed, alone, on Thanksgiving morning, and can only imagine this time next year—Kate and I will host Thanksgiving with the girls running around and our baby in her arms. I smile knowing I couldn’t be happier. I’ve have been through hell and made it back. In my darkest days, all I wanted, all I prayed for was what everyone else had in life—love. I wanted the love of a beautiful woman, a home and children with her. Kate is my dream come true and my answered prayer. Speaking of those darkest days, I really need to tell her what happened to me. Yet, every time I find the courage to talk, the moment is lost to interruptions. Plus, I seriously don’t want to see her sadness and feel her sympathy. I’ve moved on, it happened years ago.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more thankful for her and the moment when she pulled me out of my very own hell by giving herself to me. In that moment, she brought me back into the light and we made a baby. I’m beyond ecstatic to be a father again, to finally do it right. To do the nightly feedings, to hear her or him laugh, to see him or her walk, to just be able to parent together with Kate. And who knows, maybe bring more babies into our lives.

My house phone rings, pulling me from my daydream. One of my favorite names appears on the Caller ID screen. “Good morning, baby girl. What’s up?”

“Hi, Dad. I was just calling to see what time we’re meeting up at Grandma and Grandpa’s house?”

“Around two o’clock. Am I going to see you beforehand? Maybe watch the parade together? I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

“Dad, you saw me last weekend for dinner.”

“Still it feels like weeks. Listen could you come by before we head to dinner, we can pick up Kate and the girls together.” I can hear her puff an aggravated breath. “Dani, I wish I knew why you were so against getting to know her. She’s a great woman and a great mother. Those little girls look up to you, too. Please, for my sake, try a little harder. Dani, I love her and I want to marry her. I love you, too, baby girl. I want the two most important women in my life to be able to get along. Dani, I really need to talk to you before we go to dinner.”

“Dad, I like her, it’s just hard. You know, to have someone like her in our lives. I don’t need a mom, if that is what you are trying to push. I just need you.”

I hear her voice choking, and I know she is trying to hold the tears back. “Dani, no one is asking for Kate to be your mom, but she can be your friend. Baby girl, I’m not going anywhere. You’ll always have me, no matter what.”

“I can be over in an hour, will you make pancakes?”

I laugh. “Of course. Drive careful. See you soon. Love you, Dani.”

“See you soon, Dad. Love you!”

In the kitchen, whipping up Dani’s favorite pancakes, tutti-frutti, I’m pouring the batter on the griddle when I hear her come in. She walks into the kitchen and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Once the batter is out of my hands, I give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Yum, you’re making my favorite. Need any help?”

“You can take the fruit, whip cream, and juice to the table, please.”

She grabs the food and places it on the table. I see a young woman in front of me, but to me she is still my baby. To think I’ll have children eighteen years apart is unreal. I hope she’ll take what I’m about to tell her well.

We sit down to eat. Watching her pile on the strawberries, blueberries, and bananas, then tops it all off with whip cream. I chuckle that her eyes are bigger than her stomach. She’ll never finish everything she puts on her plate.

“Dani, I need to tell you something.”

She puts her fork down and looks to me with worry in her big green eyes. “K…you’re freaking me out here.”

“Well, there is a lot to tell you, actually. I was thinking of maybe you moving back into this house with a roommate. I’m going to move in with Kate after the holidays. If not, then I’m going to put it up for sale. How do you feel about that?”

She scoops a glob of whip cream onto her finger and puts it in her mouth. “I’m just the child here and all, but don’t you think you are moving too fast, Dad. I mean you’ve known Kate for what…two months?”