Light A Penny Candle (46 page)

In the middle of all this she heard Tony’s voice and felt his elbow nudging her.

‘You’re very silent, Ash, is everything all right?’

‘Oh yes.’ She smiled, and he went back to his conversation and she went back into her mind. The next morning they would drive to the airport and she wouldn’t be a bit afraid of the plane. After all, a grown-up, married woman who would have had sexual intercourse by that stage … naturally she wouldn’t be as eejity and gormless as other people.

She got another nudge.

‘Gerry knows a great pub altogether, a known pint house, I said we’d go and have the one there.’

‘Will we not be a bit late for dinner in the hotel?’ she said, the frostiness plain even to the man who drank Bushmill’s whisky.

‘Well, maybe old son another night. …’ he began.

But Tony Murray had felt no frost. ‘Nonsense, tonight’s the night, we might never find you again in this city, two culchies like ourselves.’ He laughed loudly. Aisling got up obediently and Tony put his arm around her shoulder.

‘Didn’t I get the best girl in Kilgarret, Gerry?’ he asked the drunk.

‘Tony, you got the very best,’ said the drunk firmly.

*

There was no dinner in the Shelbourne; the time spent planning whether to have melon or grapefruit or soup as a starter had been wasted. At closing time, Gerry had told them where to get chips. He wouldn’t have any himself, he had kept his money for the last bus, but anyway, money or no money, he often found that he didn’t fancy food after a few scoops of an evening. He shook their hands and wished them the best. He was no drunker than when they had met four hours earlier. He seemed no redder in the nose, no more dulled in the eye. Aisling was hardly changed either. She had accepted no more gin, only glasses of tonic water. And in the last pub they didn’t have any so she had just sat there with nothing in front of her and her mind closed. Now, chips finished, and Tony laughing like a schoolboy, they walked back through the city. In her handbag was a key to one of the most expensive hotel rooms in Ireland; they had money and planned to have had a dinner for the two of them. But instead it had been bar after bar. Five of them counting the first place. In the hall the porters looked at each other and smiled behind Tony’s back as he fumbled for change.

‘There’s no need for a tip now, they’ve not done anything for us,’ hissed Aisling.

‘I’d like to give them a tip, it’s my money, it’s my wedding night,’ stumbled Tony, swaying. ‘It’s my bloody wedding night, I’ll give as many tips as I please.’

The porters thanked him. He gave one a half crown and the other two shillings.

‘Fight it out between you,’ he said.

‘Goodnight sir, thank you,’ they both said, and Aisling tried to support him as he staggered making them a mock courteous bow.

‘Leave me be, woman. She’s the same as all of them you know, can’t wait to get me upstairs.’

The porters smiled, embarrassed for Aisling whom they could see was sobbing. And humiliated. The older porter took pity on her.

‘Mam, let me go ahead with the key,’ he said. And as Tony staggered along the corridor the kindly man said to Aisling, ‘If you knew how many honeymoon couples we get Madam, and the men are always scared out of their minds. I think we men are definitely the weaker sex. I’ve always thought it.’

‘You’re a very kind man,’ Aisling said.

‘Nonsense, you’ll be the happiest couple in the world, never mind.’

Inside the bedroom Tony was all smiles.

‘Come on, let me at you,’ he said to Aisling.

‘Let me get my suit off me first,’ said Aisling. It was filthy already but she didn’t want it torn.

She hung the jacket on the back of a chair, and folded the skirt, she stood before him in her slip and her blouse.

‘You’re lovely,’ he said.

‘Hold on a minute,’ she said. ‘Can’t I get out my lovely new negligee? I want to put that on. Please.’

‘All right,’ he said. He sat down in a velvet armchair, suddenly, as if the strength had gone from his legs. Aisling opened the suitcase she had packed so carefully with the
dinner
dress she had intended to wear on top, the negligee and nightie set underneath and the washbag with flowers on it beside that. She slipped into the bathroom and washed quickly. She would love to have soaked in a long bath but she was afraid that he would not want to wait as long as that.

She looked at her face, which seemed to her tired and drawn, pulled her long hair back and tied it loosely with the cream ribbon she had bought specially for the occasion. She put on more perfume … and rubbed a little rouge into her cheeks. She looked better now. Oh God, may he not be too drunk. Please God, may he not hurt her. Please. After all God, I did wait until I got married, a lot of people don’t, a great many people don’t. I kept my part of the bargain God, please let him not be too rough with me. She went into the room and twirled around so that he would get the full view of the negligee.

Tony was asleep in the armchair. His mouth was open and he was snoring.

Aisling took off the negligee and hung it carefully on one of the hotel hangers. She switched off the light in the bathroom; took the extra blanket which had been left in the wardrobe and put it over Tony. She raised his head slightly and slipped a pillow behind his neck. She loosened his shoes and took them off and she put his feet on another pillow. She had seen someone do that in a film once, where a man had gone out and got drunk over this woman and when he came home she took his army boots off and put his feet on a cushion. It had seemed a lovely thing for
her
to do in the film. But of course in the film he had been crying and saying he loved her. He hadn’t been snoring like Tony Murray. Her husband.

Dublin airport

Just a quick word to thank you for being such a support and help. Don’t leave another million years before you come back to Kilgarret. Everything in Dublin super. Roll on Rome.

love from

Aisling Murray

Hotel San Martino

Another picture for your collection. This is the Holy City or the Eternal City as we called it at school. It’s very very hot, and there are an awful lot of poor people, much poorer than you’d see in Wicklow, and lots of the Italians have no religion. There’s a bank called Sancto Spirito. Imagine having your savings in the Holy Ghost Bank! The hotel is beautiful and there’s an old-fashioned lift you can see through. Tomorrow we see Il Papa. Tony sends his love, or he would if he knew I was writing to you.

Love,

Aisling

Hotel San Martino

There were a hundred people there, and we were introduced to him. Signor e Signora Murray d’Irlanda.
It
was unbelievable. I still don’t believe it happened. Every time I see pictures of him, I keep saying to Tony … he met US. Still very hot. I roam about and look at ruins quite a lot, you’d be proud of me. We have meals in restaurants on the side of the street, not inside at all. Just like those pictures you see in Paris. The wine is very cheap and we drink it with every single meal. Except breakfast.

Love from

Signora Murray

It’s got even hotter. Everyone else in Rome is golden and sun-tanned, but because of my awful colouring I just burn. So I’ve bought a parasol. Remember we used to have toy parasols once? Tony doesn’t want to go out in the heat, so we see a great deal of indoor things. I went to the catacombs. The poor martyrs, didn’t they have an awful time for their faith when it’s so easy for us? I’m quite looking forward to seeing Kilgarret where it’s cool and green … and wet, I gather from Mam’s letter.

Love, Aisling.

Mam, thank you very much for writing here. Nobody else did, I expect they didn’t think it would arrive. You’re an angel to tell me the bungalow is so far ahead. Thank God we won’t have to stay with the old Bag … I’ll have to put this card into an envelope now, won’t I? Everything is smashing Ma, and as I
said
in the other card, thank you and Dad a million times. I hope the wedding didn’t exhaust you and leave you broke or anything. I’m so looking forward to being home. I must try to remember I live with Tony now rather than saying goodbye to him in the square and running up to you and Dad like I used to. Tell the boys thanks again too and Niamh. Wasn’t it great that Elizabeth came over for the wedding, and didn’t she look marvellous? I’ve sent her a few cards from here. It must be very lonely for her back in London, I was thinking.

Love from your Married Daughter, Aisling

‘She looked utterly enchanting … here, I have the pictures.’ Elizabeth sat on a desk with her feet on a chair and opened the wallet of black and white pictures. She had been given this camera by Johnny for her twenty-first birthday and it had never been taken on a serious outing before. Now she had twelve pictures of Aisling’s wedding, ten of them perfect she thought, and two spoiled. Stefan and Anna pored over them.

‘Hasn’t she become slim since she was here?’ Stefan said.

‘Look at her beautiful dress,’ said Anna.

‘Is this her mother, a handsome woman. …’ Stefan looked at Eileen and somehow Elizabeth felt her two worlds grow closer.

‘And her husband, this Tony, he is handsome is he not?’ Anna had spread the pictures down on the desk. ‘And who is this man, the one who has his hand on your arm?’

‘That’s his loathsome best man … a frightful fool.’

Stefan and Anna laughed.

‘No, seriously … really dreadful. I hope for Aisling’s sake he’s not going to be a family friend.’

‘And who is the sad lady?’

‘That’s Tony’s mother. She did smile a bit, but I don’t think anybody caught it. And that’s Tony’s awfully bad-mannered sister, Joannie, and that’s his rather wishy-washy brother who’s nearly a priest … oh, and that’s Donal, the young brother who used to be delicate. Look at his laugh, isn’t he marvellous … and that’s me looking silly with my hat. …’

‘You look beautiful, Elizabeth,’ said Anna seriously.

‘Oh she does. Quite as beautiful as the little bride,’ said Stefan.

‘Oh, that’s Tony pulling a face … it was just before they got into the car to go to the hotel. He was still very edgy at that stage … he got better later on. More relaxed.’

‘You don’t think they are good enough for Aisling, these people?’

‘Oh Stefan. I never said that. No they’re the high and mighty in the town, honestly. Like the squire, as Johnny used to say.’

‘But you do not like them … listen, this Tony he is edgy, his brother is wishy-washy, his sister she is bad-mannered, rude, his mother she is weepy, his best friend is frightful … of course you don’t like them!’

Stefan laughed. Elizabeth looked at him, almost speechless.

‘I didn’t mean. …’ she began.

‘But it’s not a crime not to like the people that your friends marry. I am sure if my sons are married I would not like their wives. Anna here does not like the family that her sister married into. They live in London, she never sees the family, but she meets her sister every month. So. It’s not unnatural.’

‘I never even said it to myself. I didn’t even know I didn’t like them,’ said Elizabeth, grinning mischievously. ‘But you won’t tell them, and you’ll never tell Aisling if she comes over here again. Because I don’t really dislike them … Listen, I won’t delay you any more. I just collected these from the chemist and I wanted you to be the first to see. I’m off home now.’

‘Johnny should be back next week, then it will all be fun and bustle here again,’ Anna said with the air of someone trying to introduce a comforting note.

Elizabeth saw Stefan frown at her.

‘Now, Anna, Elizabeth knows all Johnny’s movements better than we do, in Brighton and Hove, and back on Friday … we don’t have to tell her what he’s doing.’

Darling Stefan, like Aunt Eileen, a diplomat, always wanting people to be given their dignity, never wanting to score over others. How great it had been seeing him looking at Aunt Eileen and saying she was handsome. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Aunt Eileen came over here … or was that silly? Oh God, oh God, from Stefan’s face it looks as if Johnny has a new woman. Of course she hadn’t known that he was away in Brighton, of course she hadn’t
known
that he was coming back on Friday. Thank God for Stefan and his refusal to admit that anything was wrong between Elizabeth and Johnny. Sometimes she thought that if it weren’t for Stefan she would have lost Johnny forever.

Father was politely interested in the photographs.

‘Which one is Violet’s friend?’ he asked first, and Elizabeth thought that this was a good sign. Usually he refused any opportunity to bring Mother’s name into the conversation.

‘That’s Aunt Eileen there,’ she said proudly.

‘Nice, nice, yes she looks a very presentable woman. Of course, she’ll be glad that Aisling has married and married well.’

‘Yes, Father, she is glad. I think she’s very glad.’

‘Well, of course she’s pleased, dear. Her daughter married and set up. Safely off her hands, with a home and a future of her own. It’s what every parent would want.’

Elizabeth looked up, amazed.

‘Is it what you want for me, Father?’

‘Of course.’

‘What?’

‘Of course I want you to marry and settle down. What else can I want for you?’

‘And are you not glad that I’m happy as I am? That I have work which interests me, teaching and working in Worsky’s, and that I have Johnny around …?’

Father said nothing.’

‘Because I am fine. Really. To be utterly honest, I wouldn’t like to be marrying someone like Tony Murray, someone sensible. I prefer to be the way I am. I mean it. I’m not just saying it to cover a broken heart. …’

‘You’re your mother’s daughter, I’m afraid, Elizabeth, and that’s what worries me. She had a fine home here, and a family and a social life and what did she do, she went off with a fly-by-night black-marketeer, a man who made his money out of other people’s suffering … she went off with him, flighty and thoughtless and ended up losing her mind. So do you wonder that I worry when I see that feckless side of her in you?’ Father said all this quite calmly; there was no twitch in his eye, as there used to be when he became upset. It was as if he believed it all now like a story that had happened to someone else. That poor Harry was a black-marketeer. Harry!