Lila Blue (17 page)

I wished I could help him relax,
but I understood exactly how it felt to be responsible for someone's life. I
felt responsible for my mother when she was sad or drunk or lonely. I'd spent
all of my life being that alert. Only with Lila could I relax, because I felt
she could take care of herself.

Lila suggested we make signs to
post on the beach, and she went to the garage to round up supplies.

I got a notebook and brainstormed
words to put on the signs.
Stay away! Seal pups protected by law! Keep dogs
on leash! Do not touch! Go back!

Jamie approved my sign ideas when I
read them to him, and without taking his eyes from the pup down below, he said,
"Wake up Mark. We need him."

I went up the stairs, knocked
loudly on the door, then opened it and called, "Mark. Please get up. We
need your help. Jamie needs you."

When I heard him waking up, I went
back to help Lila prepare the kitchen table for a work area. She had already
assembled clean cardboard squares, wide-tipped markers, packing tape, and heavy
dowels cut in four-foot lengths to make the signs.

Soon Mark ran downstairs, saw that
Jamie was not bleeding, used the bathroom, and came back to his brother. He
knelt down to be at eye level, and Jamie told him our mission.

Just then Jamie saw a regular
neighbor lady with her dog, a medium sized brown terrier, heading down her
stairs to the beach. The dog was running downstairs in front of the woman.
Jamie dispatched his brother to the scene, and Mark fairly flew down the beach
steps and caught the dog before it could get to Jamie's seal. He helped the
owner control her barking dog, and together they got it on its leash and led it
away from the baby. Mark came back to the beach stairs, far enough behind the
baby that she didn't cry out to him, and stood guard.

I started making signs, trying to
remember how many dogs were on the beach every morning. At least half a dozen.
How could we keep all of them away?

While I worked at the kitchen
table, I kept glancing down to the pup. It was directly in front of Lila's
house. Did God put it there so Jamie could take care of it? The next time I
glanced down, Jamie and Mark were both there, one stationed on each side of the
pup, far enough away so it didn't try to crawl to them. I wondered how many
days they could stay there.

Lila was working behind me at the
kitchen counter, making breakfast sandwiches to take down to the boys. I could
smell the coffee brewing and it made me think of how many ordinary mornings I'd
had in Lila's house. It smelled so delicious and comforting. It smelled like
home.

A desire that had been slinking
around in the back of my mind popped up front where I couldn't avoid it. I
wanted to stay with Lila. I didn't want to go home to Janice and California and
seventh grade. With all my heart, I wanted Rainbow Village to be my home.

I loved my mother, but I didn't
love my life with her. I loved my life with Lila. I loved who I was with Lila.
I wanted to stay.

The thought made time stop.

When I could move again, I saw
tears had dropped onto the sign I was making, smearing the ink in the word
Stay
.
I tried to fix the smeared places, but it made it messier, so I went to the
bathroom, turned on the water in the sink, and cried and cried.

After a time, Lila knocked on the
bathroom door. "Cassandra?" she asked. "Are you okay?"

I opened the door, fell into her
arms, and cried all over her like a giant baby.

"Oh, sweetie," she said,
leading me in to sit on the couch. "Is it the seal? Or everything all
together?"

"Everything," I said.
There was no way to sort it out.

"Talk to me, Cassandra. Tell
me," she said, picking up a box of tissues from the table and putting it
in my lap. "Talk it out. Cry it out. Don't keep it locked inside
you."

"I want to stay with you,
here," I said, and the tears gushed out again. "I don't want to go
back."

She patted my arm and let me cry,
but she didn't say anything. She didn't say yes and she didn't say no. She just
looked at me with a sad, kind, loving face, like everything was okay even when
it wasn't.

When I stopped crying, she said,
"We're here now, and we'll have plenty of time to talk about this when the
boys leave in three days. For now, let's do what we can for Jamie's baby,
okay?"

I nodded, relieved. I was glad my
heart's wish was out in the open, not locked away where even I couldn't see it.

I went back to the kitchen to make
signs, and Lila took a basket of food and two folding chairs down to Mark and
Jamie. Then she came back up and we finished six signs, two for each side of
the area out from our sea wall and one each for farther down on the beach both
directions.

After we planted the signs and it
seemed they would hold up in at least a moderate wind, we asked Mark and Jamie
if they wanted a break. Jamie refused, but Mark took the empty food basket back
upstairs with Lila while I took over his station. It seemed the seal pup was
either sleeping or dead, because it was lying there motionless with a big
expanse of open beach all around it. I sure hoped it was alive.

I knew Jamie was concentrating all
of his power on keeping that baby safe until its mother could take it home to
the sea. He was a guardian angel for the entire animal kingdom. And he was my
brother, even if I had only found out about him two weeks earlier. Was
everyone's life so packed with surprises?

When the sun had been up for a
while and most of the early morning local walkers had been rerouted to avoid
our baby, there was a break in beach traffic. Lila wanted Jamie to come
upstairs. He'd been on the beach for three hours. Even so, Mark had to talk him
into taking a rest by promising he wouldn't let any harm come to the baby.

By that time Lila had called many
of her neighbors to let them know we had a seal pup. They spread the news to
all their friends to keep control of their dogs and avoid our part of the
beach. Lila called her friend Marta, who was the editor for the local
newspaper, and Marta was coming to take pictures and interview Jamie.

Jamie was not content to be
upstairs. In five minutes he was back wearing a metal whistle on a lanyard
around his neck and a wide brimmed canvas hat of Lila's.

Mark and I took turns guarding the
south side of the quarantined site, where most of the tourist traffic came
from, and Jamie guarded the north side. Most people read our signs, visited
with us a few minutes about the seal, wished us luck, and turned back.

Mark had turned his post over to me
and gone upstairs after making sure Jamie was fine. Several minutes later I was
having a nice chat with a lady on my side when I heard Jamie scream,
"No!" I turned around and saw three kids running toward the seal. The
woman who was with them pushed Jamie away when he tried to stop her.

"You can't stop us," she
yelled at Jamie, sounding crazy. "You don't own the beach."

Jamie tried to stop her again, and
she pushed him in the sand and ran to the pup, picked it up, and held it in her
arms like a baby. Her three kids climbed on her, saying let me hold it, it's my
turn, and she batted them away.

Jamie blew the whistle as hard as
he could. I ran to see if he was hurt. He wasn't injured, not physically at
least.

I kept my distance from the woman,
because I had no idea how crazy she was, but I begged her to put the pup back
where she found it.

She ignored me, but I kept saying
over and over, "Please, the mother will reject her. Please, leave her
alone. Please, don't hurt her."

By then Jamie was over pulling the
kids away as best he could, but they laughed and pushed him down.

"Jamie!" we heard Mark
yell with a booming voice that seemed to echo off the cliff. "Jamie. I'm
coming. I'm here." He barreled down the stairs like a linebacker, and I
jumped out of the way.

When the lady saw Mark running at
her, she threw the seal pup down on the sand and ran away with her kids. I
doubled over in pain, as if she'd kicked me in the stomach. How could anyone be
so stupid and cruel?

The pup was crying and struggling
to get comfortable. I couldn't see any wounds, but it must have been scared and
hurt. Maybe it had internal injuries. I backed away from it, praying it would
be okay.

Jamie was lying in the sand where
he'd been pushed. I hoped he hadn't seen the woman throw his baby down. Mark
rushed to Jamie and picked him up in his grownup arms. Jamie struggled to
control his tears.

Lila came then, and she insisted
Jamie go upstairs with her. Mark stayed down to stand watch. The crazy woman
and her kids had run on down the beach and were out of sight. Other people were
standing by our signs, though, having watched the commotion from there.

I went back to my post, still
hurting and sick with outrage. When people asked me what happened, I told them
the best I could, and I couldn't stop tears from running down my face. They
shook their heads about how ignorant and cruel some people can be. They wished
us luck and told us they'd spread the word to stay clear of our area.

One lady said she would light
candles and pray for our baby seal. There are so many good people in the world,
and then one mean person comes along and ruins everything. It made me sick.

Soon Curtis and Molly came from the
bookstore to help keep watch, and more friends and neighbors, until we had more
than enough volunteers to make sure no one else molested Jamie's pup. She
seemed to have gotten comfortable enough to go back to sleep. I prayed she
wasn't bleeding to death while we sat around watching.

After I briefed Curtis and Molly
and left them my station, I went upstairs to find Lila's house filled with
neighbors and friends. Marta from the newspaper was standing on a chair behind
the couch directing Jamie to stand close to the window and stare down to the
beach, so she could get a good camera shot. Everyone else wove around her as if
she were an unfortunately placed potted palm.

Ronny from The Bakery Boys served
everyone fresh chocolate chip cookies. Les from The Salty Dog had a clipboard
and was scheduling one-hour guard shifts. She teamed everyone under twelve with
an adult buddy, so no one else could be pushed around. Everyone in the village
had come together to support Jamie's seal pup.

I went in my room to set out some
clothes in case I ever got a chance to use the shower. With only one bathroom,
I decided I'd better wait until some of the people cleared out. In the corner
of my room beside the dresser I found Chloe and Zoe curled up together asleep.
I had wondered where they would find a quiet spot.

Cats are smart to stay away from
big parties. I bet they never go out of their way to save an abandoned baby
turtle or mouse. They'd probably eat it. Humans are the only ones who have
their noses in everyone else's business.

I curled up in the corner beside
them to wait for things in the house to settle down, and the next thing I knew,
Lila woke us up.

"There you are," she
said. "Sound asleep." All three of us sat up and yawned at her.
"The coast is clear, my beauties," she said, her voice full of
affection. "It's safe to come out now."

We all joined Lila in the living
room, and I looked down at the beach from the picture window. Guards sat watch
at each side of the pup. It seemed she had moved several feet closer to the
ocean, or else the tide line had changed.

"Is Jamie okay?" I asked
Lila.

"Mark's trying to get him to
nap on the window seat upstairs. He'll be fine."

I nodded and went to take a shower.
It felt good to get the salt out of my hair and to feel fresh and clean again.
After I dressed in clean clothes and straightened the bathroom, I went to the
kitchen for food and water. I couldn't remember eating or drinking anything all
day.

In the refrigerator was a bowl of
potato salad, another of bean salad, and a platter of cold cuts. I fixed myself
a full plate and sat at the kitchen table. The sign making materials had been
moved to a laundry basket and tucked in a corner of the room. I could see the
beach and everything seemed pretty quiet and peaceful. Maybe the baby would be
fine after all. When everyone works together, it's easier.

It reminded me of a science movie
about aerodynamics in sixth grade. In one part it showed Canadian geese
migrating, how they fly in a big V and take turns being the leader so everyone
benefits from the air currents of those in front. When they work together they
can fly farther, faster, and easier.

Jamie's mission had turned into a
flying V, and it didn't need him so much anymore. I thought about how wonderful
Mark had been all day, and I felt my heart soften toward him. He really loved
Jamie and would do anything for him. It was sweet.

Just then Mark came into the room,
so I smiled and said, "Hi."

He seemed surprised that I was nice
to him, which I guess is understandable because I had been five degrees below
chilly ever since we'd met.

"Jamie okay?" I asked.

"He's asleep," he said.
"Grandma went up to sit with him."

"The potato salad is really
good," I said, pointing to the fridge.

"Yea, I had some earlier.
Everyone brought food. Like a funeral."

"Do you think the seal will be
okay?" I asked. "The way that lady threw it down?"

"It has a good chance,"
he said. "Their fat protects them."

 I nodded and scooted over to make
space for him at the table, but he didn't join me. He took his plate of food on
a tray with three glasses of water back upstairs. I was glad he didn't sit
beside me, but glad we'd talked in a regular way. Maybe Jamie's seal brought
all of us closer together.

Everyone decided we shouldn't keep
watch after sunset, because it would confuse the seal mom when she came back.
When the sun went down, they packed up all the signs and chairs and stored them
on Lila's big porch so the morning crew could find them easily before sunrise.

We were all up early the next day.
When Jamie went down to the beach, one of the neighbors was already planting
the signs. The pup was farther north, which I thought meant at least that it
was alive and probably the mom had come in the night to feed it. Later I
learned they found a slithery trail in the sand, so everyone felt the most critical
test had been passed.

None of us were on the beach patrol
list for the day, so Lila and I made a big breakfast of pancakes, sausage and
eggs. We served it on a fresh yellow tablecloth in the kitchen. Lila sent Mark
down to get Jamie to join us.

We wolfed down the food, because it
tasted really good and we were so relieved Jamie's baby was still okay. When we
were finished, Lila said, "Before all the excitement, I was thinking we
might go to Saint Ann's today. The tide will be low enough at noon for us to
get around the point. We'd have an hour in the cove before we had to come back.
What do you think?"

I didn't know enough to have an
opinion.

Jamie shook his head. "I have
to stay here."

Lila nodded.

Mark said, "I want to go. The
last two years we couldn't because the tides were never low enough. The year
before that was stormy."

Lila nodded.

"What do you want to do,
Grandma?" I asked her.

"I love Saint Ann's," she
said. "It reminds me that magic and mystery are always just around the
corner. Very symbolic. Yes, it feels right to go today."

"I want to go, then," I
said. "Unless you want me to stay with Jamie. I don't mind."

"Curtis and Molly are coming
here," Lila said. "Curtis wants to stay here, and Molly can go with
us if we decide to go."

Lila asked Jamie, "Will that
work for you, Jamie? We'll go and Curtis will be here until we get back?"

"Sure," Jamie said.
"I can go next year."

"Okay, then," Lila said.
"On to another amazing adventure." She went to call Curtis with our
plans.

Jamie went back down to the beach
while Mark and I cleaned up the kitchen. We'd been in the habit of doing chores
together silently, but now the quality of the silence had shifted from tense to
relaxed and accepting.

"What's it like?" I asked
him. "The cove."

"It's small, and there's
usually no sand, only smooth rocks, from being tumbled by the ocean. Grandma
said the first year she lived here, there was black sand covering the rocks,
but since then, only rocks."

"That's why she calls it Saint
Ann's Rock Garden," I said.

"One of the old timers at the
hardware store told me they called it Saint Ann's because someone saw a vision
there. I think he was teasing me, but it felt serious too." He shook his
head. "You never know what to believe."

"I know," I said.
"People have lied to me my whole life."

He nodded. He studied me and asked,
"Did you know about me and Jamie?"

"I found out you were my
brothers three weeks ago."

He nodded and sighed, and I
finished drying the last dish while he washed off the stove.

"Jamie likes you," Mark
said, like an offering.

"Jamie's the most lovable creature
I've ever met," I said.

Mark laughed and nodded.
"True."

There didn't seem to be anything
else to say.

Even though we'd be back from our
cove adventure in a few hours, Lila had us carry backpacks with water,
flashlights, and jackets. We had to wear shoes and socks, jeans, and hats. It
felt more like an overnight excursion than a walk down the beach. Molly was
very excited. She'd never been to the cove, and Mark had only been twice.

Lila and Mark led the way, and
Molly and I followed behind them. We walked on the beach the way Lila and I did
my first morning in Oregon, all the way to the cliff that jutted into the sea.

On the way, Molly told me cove
legends. Being raised in the bookstore where lots of people liked to gather and
gossip made her a treasure chest of information. She was like her mom that way.
Molly wanted to know everything, and she loved to talk.

Here's what she told me about Saint
Ann's. Some people say every time they see it, there's been at least one
impossible change, something has moved or there's a big tree that wasn't there
the time before, or a rock formation has shifted to the other side of the cove.
People take pictures from one year and compare them to the other years to find
out what's different, like in the kid magazine drawings on the puzzle page.

Everyone argues about what is the
best part. Some say its inaccessibility makes it more valuable. The cliffs and
headlands above the cove are fenced off private property, so hikers can't go in
by land. Sometimes people have to wait three or four years before the tides and
weather conditions are right for making it around the cliff face. Most visitors
don't know about the cove, and the locals keep it secret.

Others say it is a sacred place,
and anyone who goes there is blessed and healed, or if they go there angry,
something bad happens. They say it magnifies whatever is in your mind or heart.

Others say fairies or rock spirits
live there, and that explains the impossible rock piles on the beach. "Mom
says those are made by humans though," Molly said. "She thinks
someone gets in first every year, maybe by braving the surf around the point or
going in with a sea kayak to build the rock sculptures."

"Sea kayaks to make rock
piles?" I said. "That sounds like too much trouble."

"It sounds fun to me,"
Molly said. "Curtis and Mom went to the cove when they were dating, before
they had Bradley."

I'd wondered if Bradley was Molly's
half brother. "Where's your real dad?" I asked, because I didn't know
any delicate way to say it.

"He got sick of Oregon. Mom
said he got more and more depressed every year from the rain and cold, and
finally he just couldn't take it anymore. He lives in a little town in Mexico
where the sun shines all the time. He sends me pretty blouses that his new wife
makes. I'll give you some. They're too big for me. In his mind I'm grown up
already."

"My dad died," I said.
"He killed himself."

"Lila's son," she said.

"Yes, he was my dad, so Mark
and Jamie are my half brothers, but I didn't know it until three weeks
ago."

"Bradley is my half
brother," she said. "But he seems like my real brother."

I was so used to being an only
child, I could barely imagine half brothers, much less whole ones.

"Did your dad use a gun?"
Molly asked.

"No, he used a
motorcycle."

"Oh," she said.
"Curtis hates guns and motorcycles both. He says they should be outlawed.
Both too noisy and dangerous."

I wondered how many dads would
still be alive if we didn't have guns and motorcycles.

Lila and Mark were waiting for us
at the sea cliff. Lila looked at her watch. "We're a few minutes
early," she said. "The narrowest part of the passage is on the other
side, so we can wait here until the tide recedes."

"I'll go ahead and
check," Mark said, eager to go.

"No, Mark. I need you to stay
with us. We'll have time."

Molly was smiling and so happy to
be on an adventure. She was about Jamie's size, so she fit right in with our
family.

"Here's what I need from all
of you," Lila said. "I'm taking you back here because I love you and
it's a magical place. It's also a dangerous place, and I have to feel I can
trust you."

Mark took a deep breath and sighed
it all out. I could tell he'd heard Lila's speeches most of his life. Molly and
I were more respectful.

"The cliffs above the cove are
steep and unstable," Lila began. "They look like rock in some places,
but they are shale and sandstone, and they crumble easily. The caves are even
more dangerous. The sound of one big shore break can cause a cave to collapse,
so I don't want you exploring on your own. Understand?"

Molly and I nodded, and Mark
strained to look around the cliff. A young couple with walking sticks and
backpacks were making their way around, and Mark seemed upset that someone else
would get there first.

"Mark?" Lila said, with
sternness in her voice that I'd never heard before. It got his attention.

"Can I trust you?" she
asked him.

"Yes, Grandma, you can trust
me," he said, and he calmed himself down by breathing deeply. I bet his
football captain had to remind him to calm down, too.

"Okay then, darlings!"
she said. "Off we go to Saint Ann's Cove!"

She went first and told Mark to go
last. If anyone lost footing they were to call for help. She wanted us to stick
together unless she told us otherwise. "If you hear me call or hear this
whistle, come immediately," she said. She showed us the whistle around her
neck, the one Jamie had used to summon Mark the day before.

To lead us around she stepped up on
a ledge of slippery wet stones that had been exposed at the base of the cliff.
Molly was in front of me and Mark was in back. I could see why Lila positioned
us this way, because it was not easy going. She stopped several places where
the water was washing up between stones, braced herself on the cliff face, and
put out her hand to help Molly across difficult spots.

I could see why everyone wasn't
flocking over here. Most of the regular beach walkers didn't seem up for this
test of agility and courage. The surf pounded relentlessly on the black rocks
farther out from us, but it didn't hit us. I thought this would be a terrible
time for one of those sneaker waves, but I kept my fears to myself and
concentrated on one step after another.

At one point I hesitated. There was
no obvious next step, just two sharp rock ridges sticking up with a deep
crevice between them. There was another crevice between the cliff and the first
ridge, and I couldn't tell how deep it was because it was filled with foamy
water. I was afraid if I put my foot in the crevice, my shoe would get lodged
there and I'd be trapped. I didn't know how Lila and Molly had gotten through.

Mark was right behind me.
"Here," he said, and he took my hand and guided me to trade places
with him. He found a way through by wedging his bottom against the cliff and
his feet across to the ridged stone and inching around until he was on flat
stones again. He waited for me to do as he had done, and then he let me go on
ahead.

Right after that difficult stretch,
we rounded the point. What I saw took my breath away, and I had to reach back
and grab Mark's arm to keep from falling over. Tall rock spires rose out of the
surf at the mouth of the deep cove. They were twenty feet high or more, pointed
on top. They seemed exactly right for one of the fantasy novels Molly and I
loved to read aloud to each other. This would be the perfect entrance to a
magical castle where dragons flew and wizards ruled the world.

The waves forced themselves into
the narrow cove entrance and crashed on stones that tumbled back and forth in
the surge. The sound was so loud conversation was impossible, but it was
beautiful, like aboriginal music. The cove smelled delicious, super clean and
wet and salty.

I had to concentrate on my footing
to get around the last of the cliff passage and join Lila and Molly, who were
waiting for us on the crescent stone beach. When we were all together again, we
stood and surveyed the area.

I didn't see the couple who had
gone around the cliff ahead of us, so they must have been exploring behind a
rock formation or in one of the caves I could see on the other side of the
beach. There were what looked like three cave entrances, one larger one facing
the sea, a smaller one near it, and then another up higher on the cliff to the
right of the others. The mouth of the biggest one was about ten feet tall.

The rock sculptures were startling.
Some were four or five feet tall. They were made of flat round stones balanced
one on top of the other. There were a dozen or more, giving the impression of a
group of intelligent beings standing around at a party. I knew the couple who
came in before us couldn't have had time to make them so someone else must have
done it. They couldn't be left over from last year, because one big wave would
knock them down. So who made them?

"We'll stay on the beach
first," Lila shouted to us above the rumbling surf. "If a sneaker
wave comes, run straight back to that tree." She made sure we all saw the
struggling pine tree hanging on to the steep bank at the back on the cove.

"Keep your own self safe, and
we'll all be okay. Right?"

We nodded to let her know we
understood. "Mark, make sure you can always see the rest of us. I need to
know where you are at all times. I'll stay with the girls. Meet us back here in
thirty minutes." Lila made Mark compare his watch to hers, so they were
sure of the meeting time.

As soon as Lila released Mark, he
was off to the far end of the beach.

Molly and I were fascinated with
the rock sculptures, which were easier to build than they appeared. You had to
have a good base, a heavy flat rock secure with the rocks surrounding it. Then
choose all the flattest rocks you could find and balance them one on top of the
other. They were so heavy that once you got the balance right, they stayed in
place.

I never realized playing with
gravity and lifting heavy stones could be that much fun. Lila made some stone
piles too, and each of ours had its own personality, so we could tell them
apart. Soon we had made some to rival the ones we found when we arrived, so it
looked as if more rock people had arrived at the beach party.