Lilah's List (17 page)

A
rriving at the Grande hotel, Tyler tried to plot his course of action. Since he didn't know Lilah's room number, he had to hope the front desk clerk here would be as helpful as the one at the Casablanca.

“Can I help you, sir?”

“Yes, I'm looking for one of your guests. Lilah Banks? Can you tell me which room she's in?”

“We can't give out room numbers, sir. But I'll call her and let her know you're here.”

The desk clerk dialed and exchanged a few brief words, then handed him the phone.

Tyler's heart leaped. She was going to talk to him. “Hello?”

“I'm sorry, Tyler.” It was Angie.

Tyler's heart sank. “Listen, Angie, is Lilah there? I really want to try to work things out with her.”

“She's here, but she's not ready to talk.”

“Really? Isn't there anything you can do? How can I fix this if she won't hear me out?”

“I know. I'm on your side, but I'm duty bound as her best friend to respect her wishes. I'll keep talking her through it, but after her divorce, she doesn't want to take a lot of risks. You hurt her once, she doesn't want to give you the chance to do it again.”

“Can you at least tell me what room you're in?”

“I wish I could, but she'd kill me, and I can't help your cause if she won't speak to me, either.”

After his disheartening talk with Angie, Tyler found himself at his brother's apartment.

“Hey,” Reggie said when he opened the door. “Judging by the look on your face, things didn't go well with Lilah?”

Tyler walked in and slumped onto the couch. “I couldn't even talk to her. I went to the hotel where I thought she was staying, but the girl told me she'd moved to the Grande. I couldn't get past the lobby there. I don't get why she won't even talk it out with me.”

“Didn't you two try that last night?”

“We argued mostly, but we can't leave things like that. I was hoping she would have cooled off after some time to think.”

“Maybe you can speak to her at her party.”

“It's in her suite, and I don't know which one it is. No, that's it. She's leaving New York after this weekend and I may never see her again. I've just got to accept that.”

“So you're giving up?”

“What choice do I have? She won't take my calls. I can't see her. There's nothing more I can do.”

“You can hang out in the lobby and wait for her to leave.”

“No. That's crazy. Maybe she'll get back home, change her mind and call me. But until then, I just have to wait.”

Reggie sank down on the sofa beside him and the two of them sat in silence.

Lilah woke up on her birthday and poked Angie in the ribs.

“What? I'm awake!”

“I don't feel any different.”

“What do you mean?”

“It's my thirtieth birthday. I don't feel any different.”

“How did you expect to feel?”

“Different. We've been making such a big deal about turning thirty that I expected to be struck by lightning and imparted with new wisdom.”

“I could have told you that wasn't going to happen. All you had to do was ask. I've been thirty for six months and here I am unemployed. No, there's no extra wisdom. Just extra pounds. After thirty I started gaining weight just for breathing.”

“Oh yeah,” Lilah said blandly. “You're a cow.”

“I know I look thin, but I actually have to work at it now. The days of eating whatever I want without looking back are over. Don't say I didn't warn you.”

“Well, I guess it's official. I failed The List.”

“No, you still have today. You don't officially turn thirty until 11:29 p.m.”

“What's the difference?”

“The difference is about fourteen hours. You shouldn't throw away all your progress because of a date on the calendar. Finish The List.”

“To be honest, I couldn't care less about that list. It brought me many interesting adventures, but I definitely was wrong to make myself a slave to it. I think the real spirit of The List was to find experiences that I wanted to have and make them a priority.”

“All I know is, tonight this suite will be filled with your friends, and you really should start getting ready. I have some details to attend to, and I'm going to need you out of my hair for a few hours.”

“No, you did not just kick me out of my own room for the day.”

“Yes, I did. But it's for a good cause. Now go get dressed.”

Lilah was just coming out of the shower when she heard a knock on the door. It opened and she heard Angie speaking with someone.

The French doors leading to the bedroom were closed, so Lilah continued to dress. Angie was probably coordinating with someone from the hotel about the party.

She never heard anyone leave, so when Lilah was ready, she braced herself as she walked out into the outer room. Angie knew better than to let Tyler ambush her, didn't she?

“Hey, Lilah.”

“What are you doing here?” she asked, then turned to stare at Angie as if to say,
Why did you let him in?

Reggie stepped forward. “I thought we could have our date. That way you can cross it off your list once and for all.”

Once again, Lilah looked back and forth between her friend and Reggie. “I don't understand.”

“Sure you do.” He took her hand and led her to the door. Angie grabbed Lilah's coat and purse, thrusting them into her hands.

“Don't come back before one,” she said, pushing her out the door.

“Happy birthday, by the way,” he said, stepping into the elevator with her. “I spent my thirtieth birthday in bed.”

Lilah rolled her eyes, envisioning a harem of scantily clad women. “I don't want to hear about it,” she said, waving him off.

“No, not like you're thinking. I had a stomach virus. It had been going around, and I was too sick to go to the party Tyler planned for me. He canceled it to look after me. The next day, Tyler came down with it. I felt better so I went out to a strip club with my boys.”

“Oh, I get it,” Lilah said as they reached the lobby. “You've come here to talk up your brother. If that's the plan, spare me. It is my birthday, after all, consider it your gift to me.”

“Actually, that little story pretty much summarizes my relationship with my brother. He looks out for me, and I do whatever I want. I'm not proud of it, but it was just what both of us were used to.”

They headed out into the street, and Lilah realized that Reggie had an agenda and she wasn't going to be able to sway him from it. She decided she would quietly listen, and when he was done, she'd tell him to mind his own business. He had no idea what she'd been through.

“So, when Tyler came to me for advice on how to get your attention, I was surprised. He'd never asked my opinion on anything.”

Lilah stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Wait a minute. I thought he hadn't told you about me.”

“He didn't mention you by name. He told me he'd met someone, and he wasn't sure how to approach you. I still didn't think much of it. But, looking back, that was a big turning point in our relationship. He finally saw me as an authority on something. My big brother needed me. It was pretty cool.”

Lilah continued walking in silence. This was pointless. How did she get trapped in this conversation?

“But I knew things had changed the most when I found out that my brother had finally found something that was important enough to him not to share it.”

“I hope you're not talking about me.”

“Of course, I'm talking about you. Do you realize my brother gave me first pick of everything our whole lives? I didn't realize it myself until recently, but ever since we were kids, Tyler has felt the need to protect me. To make sure I always had everything I needed. I always thought he was on a power trip, trying to control me, parent me. But I was wrong.”

They'd reached a small café and Reggie guided her in. Lilah stopped at the entrance. “Did you bring me here on purpose?”

“Yeah, this place makes the best sandwiches. Were you expecting something fancier? I guess we could go to—”

“No, I mean…Tyler brought me here. Is that why you picked this place?”

“I didn't know he'd brought you here before. I swear. Tyler used to work at a law firm around the corner, and he'd always have me meet him here for lunch. I used to get annoyed because he never wanted to eat anywhere else, but he said it was his favorite. I picked it out of habit. Would you rather go somewhere else?”

“No, I just—never mind. It's fine.”

There was one empty table left by a large picture window. They placed their orders and then they fell into an awkward silence.

“Look, I can tell by your expression that you don't want to hear this. But you've got my brother painted in your mind as some kind of villain. You think what he did was selfish, and you're probably right. But that behavior was against his nature. You were the first person my brother has ever placed ahead of me. To you, that's manipulative. To me, it's eye-opening.

“My brother gave up his career to look out for mine. When I came to New York because my parents were sick of supporting me, he let me move in. I just don't think that kind of man should have to suffer for the one selfish thing he finally did for himself.”

Lilah felt incredibly foolish. “I—I didn't say—I mean, I just don't think he and I are—”

“I'm not here to beg you to take him back. He's absolutely miserable over this. But if you don't love my brother, that's your right. If he's not what you're looking for, that's fine. But if you do love him, and if a hardworking upstanding kind of guy is what you're looking for, then the reason you two aren't together is
your choice
.”

Lilah felt her cheeks stinging with embarrassment. This was as raw and exposed as she'd ever felt. In the back of her mind she knew she'd blown up because she was scared. Everyone—Tyler, Angie and now Reggie—had tried to tell her that she was overreacting. But now she was forced to face it.

She'd sabotaged things with Tyler because she didn't trust herself. She picked the wrong man once before and the divorce had devastated her. But in retrospect, she really should have seen that Chuck wasn't right for her. He'd been a square peg that she'd been trying to cram into a round hole.

But with Tyler, things had been amazingly simple. She'd gravitated to him like a fully charged magnet. They talked about serious issues, shared political views and laughed easily. Her relationship with Tyler was nothing like the one she had with Chuck.

Finally, Lilah looked up at Reggie. “Thanks for telling me all this. I'm not sure yet what to do with it. But you've done something kind and unselfish for your brother. You can feel good about that.”

“Thanks, but not really.”

“Why not?”

“Because he's hurting right now, and as usual, I'm about to abandon him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I'm going to Atlanta for a while. I'm going to work with some people there, try to come up with a new sound. I'm leaving next week.”

“Tyler's not going with you?”

“No. I essentially fired him. I told him he needs to be free of me and finally get back to living his dreams. He wished me well, but the truth is, I think he'll be pretty lost for a while, trying to figure out what to do now that he doesn't have to take care of me.”

Lilah felt a weird prickling at the back of her neck, and she looked up and saw a trio of teenage girls gaping in through the window. They were watching Reggie eat. “I think your fans have found you. Do you ever get used to that?”

He waved and turned on his bright pearly smile. The three girls clapped and jumped up and down. “No, that's what it's all about,” he said.

T
yler froze in place as he watched his brother wave at three young and adoring fans through the restaurant window. He was with Lilah.

Rage and betrayal swarmed in him, and his body warred with whether or not to rush forward or hastily retreat. His legs on autopilot, Tyler found himself headed back toward the subway.

She wouldn't even speak to him, but she'd sit down and have a nice lunch—at his favorite café, no less—with Reggie.

Wasn't this just typical? His brother had no regard for his—

Suddenly, Tyler stopped cold in the middle of the street. The honking of a cab rushing toward him brought him back to his senses. He leaped out of the street to safety before the cab could bear down on him.

What had he been thinking? That his brother was trying to start something with Lilah? That was absurd and he knew better. If they were having lunch, Reggie was there to plead his case.

After spending the entire day moping around his apartment, Tyler had decided he needed some air and a club sandwich. But seeing the two of them sitting in that window, laughing the way he used to laugh with her, had brought on a bout of temporary insanity.

What should he do now? Go back and find out first-hand if his brother's words had worked in his favor? No, he couldn't do that. It would look too much like a setup. Plus, he had little faith in Lilah changing her mind.

Maybe in a week or two, once she'd had time to mull things over, but if she was angry enough to shut him out so completely, she wasn't likely to reconsider things because of his brother.

Tyler felt his chest constricting. It was actually pretty cool of his brother to go down there to try to help him. He'd been leaning on him pretty heavily for the last day or so, and to his great surprise, Reggie had been a solid support. He had a pretty rosy view of life and tried to impart that carefree spirit to Tyler.

But now, just as the two of them were starting to really get to know each other, the kid would be going away for a while. They'd spent so much of their lives right on top of each other. But it wasn't until Tyler had let his guard down and let his brother help him for a change that he really got to see the kind of man his brother had become.

And he respected the fact that Reggie had finally stood up to him, deciding it was time for him to go out into the world on his own. Tyler regretted all the time they spent at odds because he'd insisted on treating his brother like a child. But in the future, even though they may not be in close proximity, Tyler knew he and Reggie would be close friends.

Tyler kept walking past the subway station, just letting his legs propel him forward. It was Lilah's birthday today. He'd had many visions about how they would spend that day, but it had never occurred to him that he might not be a part of it.

She no longer wanted him there. He had to accept that. In his heart of hearts, he knew they would be together again eventually. He just had to give her time. He'd wait till she returned home, then in a week or two, maybe he'd take a trip out to D.C. He could stay with his parents for a while. That way, if she didn't come around right away, he could at least catch up with them and some old friends from high school.

After all, with Reggie leaving, he'd have a lot more free time on his hands. There were a few clients to wrap things up with, but it wouldn't take long to find them new representation. Over the years, it had gotten exhausting fending off competitors who wanted to steal his clients.

The more he walked and thought about his future, the more he liked the idea of moving back to D.C. Not just for a visit, but permanently. There were a lot of nonprofit organizations and lobbying groups in the Capital city. There was a lot of good work to be done.

Feeling empowered by his new resolve, Tyler quickened his step, deciding to walk the rest of the way home. The walk would take much longer, but he had a lot of plans to make.

He started a mental list.
1. Win Lilah back.

When Lilah returned to her hotel, she couldn't stop thinking about the things Reggie had said. She felt like a fool. She was going to give up a chance at real love after just one argument? She'd given her husband chance after chance in a marriage that was doomed to fail.

And Tyler? What had she given him besides a guilt trip?

She was running away because she was afraid to trust her instincts. Had she learned nothing in the past two weeks?

A dawn of realization came over her. If she'd followed her instincts, she never would have married Chuck in the first place. He may have looked good on paper, but her heart had never been blind to his faults. She'd married him because she thought they would adjust. Lilah had hoped that if she worked hard enough at it, the relationship would thrive.

The problem wasn't that she couldn't trust her instincts. The problem was that she'd been ignoring them. And right now they were telling her that Tyler was the one.

Standing in the middle of the hotel Grande lobby, Lilah started dialing her cell phone. No answer at Tyler's apartment. She dialed his cell. No answer. After leaving messages at both numbers for him to meet her at the party, Lilah went back to her room.

Suddenly she was really looking forward to her birthday party.

“Okay, you can come out now,” Angie called to Lilah, who had been sequestered in the bedroom.

Lilah walked into the living room and saw that the caterers had set up tables of food along the walls. An ice sculpture in the shape of a thirty sat in the middle of the main table.

“Wow, Angie. All of this looks amazing. You didn't have to get the ice sculpture. I thought we'd both agreed that I'd gotten a bit carried away with all of that.”

“Some of it. I thought the ice sculpture was a good idea.”

Angie turned on the stereo system and music began pouring from the speakers provided by the hotel. Twenty minutes later her first guests arrived, Maureen and her boyfriend.

“Hey, Lilah, I want to introduce you to Alex. I've been telling him all about you. And he's been reading your blog, too.”

Lilah shook his hand and exchanged pleasantries with them. “Maureen, just how many people were you telling about my blog?” she asked after Alex left to check out the open bar.

The redhead blushed enough to match her hair. “It turned out to be a good conversation piece. Besides, the more, the better, right?”

“Right,” Lilah said, laughing.

“So what's left? You haven't updated your blog in two days. Are you done?”

“No, and I'm probably not going to finish. It's already my birthday, you know.”

“Actually, Angie told me you were born at 11:29 p.m. That still gives you four hours. Come on, where's The List? Let's see what's left.”

It was pointless to argue, so Lilah gave in. “She showed Maureen her printout. “See, these last few things aren't likely to get done.”

Maureen sighed. “Aw, Date Reggie Martin. You never got to that one.”

Lilah paused. “Actually, this afternoon I had lunch with him.”

Maureen's face lit up. “That counts.” She dug in her purse, pulled out a pen and crossed it off The List. “Okay, what about
protest a worthy cause.
Maybe we can stage some kind of sit-in tonight.”

“Oh, you won't have to do that. I actually took care of that one yesterday. I marched in a rally.”

Maureen crossed it off The List. “See, now that you've got a momentum built up, The List is practically taking care of itself.”

Lilah paused. That was true. She'd stopped actively pursuing The List shortly after she and Tyler got together. It started to feel less important to her. But The List items had continued to get completed. After she'd stopped trying to meet up with Reggie, he'd walked right into her life. She hadn't ever asked him for the date, but today he'd shown up and taken her to lunch.

Lilah looked back down at the paper in Maureen's hands. “There are still two unchecked items and those are both tall orders.”

Maureen studied it. “Fifteen minutes of fame? Does blogging count? You must have thousands of hits on your site.”

“I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't count.”

“Well, maybe we can start a fire and get on the evening news.”

“I don't think so.”

“All right, let me see the other one. ‘Drink Cristal champagne straight from the bottle.' All we have to do is order some from room service.”

“Do you know how expensive that stuff is?” Lilah protested.

“This coming from the woman staying in a fancy place like this? I'm going to leave a job application downstairs because there's bound to be a pay upgrade to work here.”

“You're right. I guess we can—”

Remy and Belle walked into the suite and swept Lilah up in a big hug. After Lilah had made introductions, Remy handed Lilah a narrow gift bag. “This is for you, Lilah. Happy birthday.”

“And, child, if you don't feel like sharing it, you don't have to. That's one thing you learn as you get older. Keep the good stuff to yourself,” Belle said.

Lilah reached into the bag and pulled out a bottle of Cristal champagne. Lilah and Maureen exchanged wide-eyed looks.

Maureen picked up her pen. “Check!”

After that it was a virtual who's who of not just her journey in New York, but her life in general. The party started filling up with some of her high school friends, several people she came in contact with in New York, including her favorite driver, Sanjay. And the funniest part of it all was that many of the guests were carrying copies of The List around and checking off items as they mingled with each other.

Lilah felt anxious when, two hours into the party, Tyler still hadn't shown up. “Maybe he's still angry and doesn't plan on coming,” she said to Angie.

“That's just crazy. When he gets your message, he'll come. Maybe if you hadn't given him the cold shoulder for so long…”

“I know, you told me so, blah, blah, blah. I get it. I was wrong. All I can think about now is how to fix things with him. I'm going to try calling again.”

Lilah slipped away into the bedroom and tried both of Tyler's numbers for the fifth time that day. Still no answer.

“I guess it serves me right,” she said to herself as she hung up the phone. For the past two days she'd avoided him, and now she was getting a taste of her own medicine.

Worry clutched her heart. It just wasn't like Tyler to ignore her on purpose. If he hadn't returned her calls it was probably because he hadn't received her messages.

For all she knew he could be lying in a gutter somewhere. Lilah sank down onto the bed in defeat.

Angie poked her head into the room. “Aren't you coming back out to the party?”

“I can't find Tyler, and I'm worried something's happened to him.”

“Don't worry, I'm sure he's fine. Why don't you come out and talk to your guests? That will keep your mind off it.”

Lilah let herself be dragged back to the party because she didn't want to be rude. But her heart just wasn't in it.

Tyler opened the door to his apartment that evening, and nearly jumped out of his skin when Reggie leaped off the couch. “Where have you been?”

“Man, you scared me half to death. What are you doing here?”

“Your phone's been ringing off the hook. Lilah's been trying to reach you.”

“She has?”

“Yeah. Come on. I was headed to her party, and I stopped by here to get you. I've been listening to her leaving messages on your machine for the last two hours. Where were you?”

“I had some errands to run. Since you're going to Atlanta, I've decided to move back to D.C.”

Reggie paused to soak that in for a second. “Wow. Okay, we'll talk about that on the way. Come on, we should head over there now.”

“You go on ahead. I need to shower first. Just tell her I'm on my way.” Tyler paused. “I guess whatever you said to her must have worked.”

Reggie stopped in his tracks. “You know about that?”

“Yeah, I saw you both through the window of the café.”

“You were there? Why didn't you come in?”

“To be honest, at first, I was mad. But once I cooled down, I realized you were probably trying to help me.”

“Damn right.” Reggie grinned. “Honestly, bro? I don't know what you're going to do without me.”

Tyler shook his head. “I don't know, either.”

It was just after eleven, and Lilah had begun to lose hope of Tyler showing up when she saw Reggie walk into the suite. Her heart leaped and she started toward him. She hesitated when she saw a reporter and cameraman follow him into the room.

He motioned for them to wait before he crossed the room to talk to her. “They were in the lobby looking for a way into this party,” he said, pointing to the camera crew. “They knew the date from your blog, and they'd checked out all the hotels looking for you.”