Lily of Love Lane (42 page)

There was only one way to find out.

Lily sat staring at the many coloured bottles in Dr Tapper’s consultation room. She had seen them many times over the years. Red, purple, green and yellow. Linctus of all
kinds. One of them especially she was familiar with. It was what Dr Tapper gave to her father for his cough. It cost sixpence a bottle and didn’t do much good. But in the end, as they had all
discovered, it was better than a drug.

Dr Tapper finished writing on the paper. His grey head came up slowly and his bushy grey eyebrows seemed to cover his eyes. Lily’s heart was racing. After his gentle examination and
writing down the dates of her last period, he had told her to take a seat. There had been a long and painful silence. Lily was desperate to know his verdict.

‘By my reckoning, Lily, you are three months gone.’

Lily felt relief on the one hand and terror on the other. ‘So I’m having a baby?’

‘Yes, my dear, you are.’

Lily’s mind was whirling. Now she knew for sure she would be able to tell Charles. They would decide what to do together.

‘I would like to see you again next month.’ He paused. ‘Will the father stand by you?’

Lily clenched her hands together. ‘I haven’t told him yet.’

‘Have you any plans for the future? Your mother, I take it, doesn’t know?’

Lily sat upright. ‘You won’t tell her, will you?’

‘Lily, you are a grown woman now. Your business is entirely your own. But of course . . . these things cannot be hidden for ever.’

Lily relaxed again. ‘I’ll have to think about it all. Will the sickness go?’

‘Yes, it should very soon. My advice to you is to take things easy when you can. Now, how are you feeling in yourself?’

Lily smiled. ‘Very well.’

‘That’s good. After losing your uncle at Christmas, I’m glad to hear you are recovering. And, as the months pass, I would like to see you regularly. Closer to your confinement
date in August, we will arrange for you to see the midwife.’

Lily knew that could never happen. Everyone on the island knew the midwife, Mrs Hartley, who cycled on her bike through the streets, passing the time of day with all whom she met. She had
delivered hundreds of babies, as had Dr Tapper. But Lily had already talked with Hattie about having the baby elsewhere. Charles would marry her and then see to it that they went away together.

‘If there is anything else you want to speak to me about . . .?’ He left his sentence unfinished.

Lily shook her head. ‘Thank you.’

After the traumatic meeting was over, Lily hurried to the bus stop. She didn’t want to be seen by any of her mother’s neighbours or friends. The bus ride and short walk to Dewar
Street gave her time to compose herself. Their child would be a summer baby. Where would Charles take her to give birth?

There were so many questions she had to ask him. If only he would come home soon. Now she knew that she was having their baby, she needed him more than ever.

That night, Lily sat beside the fire deep in thought about the baby. Her condition wouldn’t show for a few months yet. If, as Dr Tapper had said, she would soon feel
better, she could go home and her mother wouldn’t guess. By then she would have talked to Charles and made plans.

Lily was thinking about the nursery and the shade of blue she would have it painted when she heard the front door open.

‘Lily! It’s me!’

Lily felt a thrill go through her. She jumped up, every inch of her skin quivering and ran to the hall. A tall, unshaven figure stood there wearing a hat and long, crumpled coat.

‘Oh, Charles, you’re home!’

She was about to throw herself into his arms as she’d always imagined herself doing, when he swiftly bolted the door. ‘Has anyone called?’ he asked in a gruff, rasping
tone.

‘No. I was out for a few hours today—’

‘But not tonight?’

‘No.’ Lily stared at him, at his untidy hair as he swept off the hat that he’d pulled down over his eyes. She had never seen him with a beard before. Above it his eyes looked
wild and glittering.

She wanted to hold him but something stopped her. ‘Charles, what’s wrong?’

‘Quickly, come into the drawing room.’ He clutched her arm and hurried her out of the hall.

‘Let me take your coat,’ she said as he went to the windows and peered out into the darkness, before quickly closing them.

‘Just fetch me a brandy,’ he replied as he sank down on a chair by the fire. ‘Please be quick. I haven’t much time.’

What did he mean, not much time? she wondered as she went to back parlour. This wasn’t the homecoming she had expected. Was he ill? His appearance had changed so much.

Lily poured a measure of brandy into the balloon glass and returned to the drawing room.

‘Charles, there is something wrong, isn’t there?’

He threw the drink to the back of his throat. ‘Yes, I have something to ask of you.’ He held out the glass. ‘But first, another.’

Lily was confused. He didn’t seem to be the same Charles that she knew; the elegant and sophisticated man who always seemed so in command of himself. What had happened in the time he had
been away? She poured another drink and returned, her eyes going over the dirty coat that he still wore that looked as though it hadn’t been clean in days.

‘Lily, please sit down.’

She did as he told her, but even the fire couldn’t warm the cold sensation that was creeping down the back of her neck.

‘Lily, there will be men calling here soon. Not friends, but enemies who are determined to meddle with my career. I want you to tell them I’m not here. That you haven’t seen me
since before Christmas.’

‘Are they policemen?’

‘They are people who oppose my cause.’

As Lily didn’t really know what his cause was, she lapsed into silence.

‘They have followed me across the continent and tried to stop me as I set sail for Britain. It was fortunate that I was able to manage to lose them. But they know of this house and are
certain to call here.’

‘Would they hurt you?’ she asked anxiously.

‘They would go to any lengths to stop me.’ He shook his head as though lost in some terrible thought. ‘You see, I have been in Spain, where there is deep unrest.’

‘Spain?’ Lily repeated.

‘Yes, I and many other intellectuals from all over the world. We are forming a party of resistance to the Communists.’

‘But why do you have to go to Spain to form a party?’ she asked in confusion. ‘Couldn’t you do it here?’

‘We have been making preparations for many months,’ Charles nodded. ‘My friend, Mrs Covas, and I are passionate about freeing Spain. Her husband, a Spaniard, was murdered by
Franco’s Nationalists.’

‘Is that where you’ve been since Christmas?’ Lily asked. ‘With Mrs Covas?’

‘Yes, she is a very brave woman.’

‘But I thought you just furnished her house.’

‘Forgive me for having misled you, Lily. We are on the edge of great change and I am privileged to be part of it. Now I can accomplish what I couldn’t as a British naval officer in
the war. Beginning with Madrid we can help to free the world of injustice and corruption, and do away with Communism forever.’

Lily was bemused. Spain was a long way away. She didn’t understand its politics. Why did Charles want to be involved? What did Mrs Covas mean to him?

‘Lily, there is so much that I want to tell you. But not now. Mrs Covas has gone to friends. I also will go to friends sympathetic to our cause. However, I must ask just one more favour of
you. If you will say that you haven’t seen me since last year, they will assume I am still abroad and that will give us time.’

Lily felt as though she was in some sort of play or drama. Charles was a different person. ‘Charles, I’m frightened.’

He looked at her, as though suddenly seeing her. ‘You mustn’t be, my dear.’ He stepped forward and kissed the top of her head. She trembled at his touch. All she wanted was to
be safely in his arms.

‘Oh, Charles, I’ve missed you so much.’

‘And I, you.’

When he told her this, nothing mattered. Not his beloved politics or Mrs Covas. He had missed her and these were the only words she wanted to hear.

‘Lily, I want you to be brave, now.’

She held on to him. ‘Are you going?’

‘We’ll be together again soon, I promise.’

‘There’s so much I’ve got to tell you.’

‘And I you, my dear girl. The world is changing. These are monumental times.’

She didn’t understand what he meant. His eyes looked even more wild and filled with an expression that frightened her.

‘Do you understand how important to me you are? Lily, it’s only you I can trust. My dearest friend and ally.’

She looked into his passionate face. She wanted him to tell her he loved her.

‘You will come back?’ She clung to him and he held her close.

‘Of course.’ He kissed her passionately.

‘Goodbye for now, my dear. Please lock the gate in the courtyard when I’m gone.’

She watched him take up his hat and push it down over his forehead. Then hurrying through into the kitchen and through the scullery, he opened the rear door. Outside the small courtyard was
dark. Lily could just about see the high vine-covered wall at the end, with its small wooden gate. She heard it open and close.

Lily did as she was told and hurried to lock it. When she returned to the house, the silence deepened around her. She was very frightened as she waited. When would these men arrive?

They came very soon, pounding on the door. Lily’s legs went weak. What was she to do? Charles had asked her to lie, but it wasn’t really a lie as he wasn’t
here. It was only the part about not having seen him that was a real untruth. She waited, but the pounding grew louder.

With shaking fingers she opened the door. Four men burst in, pushing her back roughly. One of them looked foreign, with a mop of curly black hair. His dark eyes, like Charles’, blazed with
a fierce expression.

‘Wh . . . what do you want?’

‘This is the house of Señor Grey!’ said the man in a heavy accent.

Lily nodded.

‘Where is he?’

Lily backed away as he came towards her. She suddenly thought of the Blackshirt all those years ago, but Charles wasn’t here now to save her.

‘He’s not here. I haven’t seen him since December.’ She said the words very quickly.

The man’s bushy black eyebrows drew together. Her back was against the wall. ‘Where is he?’

‘I don’t know,’ she kept repeating. What was he going to do to her? He grasped her wrist.

‘You see him!’

‘No . . . no,’ she cried out, in agony as he twisted her arm.

He began to shout in a foreign language. Why had Charles left her in the hands of these violent men?

Signalling to his friends, he directed them upstairs. She couldn’t understand what was said, but she knew they were searching the house. What would they do? She heard banging and crashing
from the rooms above.

Then one of the men ran down the stairs waving a book in his hand. This seemed to make them more angry. Lily thought they were going to kill her as she was thrown roughly to the floor. Her last
thought was of Charles before the darkness engulfed her.

H
attie got off the bus in Stepney. Reube was working until late tonight so there was no need for her to rush home.

As Hattie walked down the road towards Ben’s house, an older man came towards her. He wore a placard on his chest and on one side it advertised a meeting at the Mission Hall. ‘Why
are our young men fighting and dying abroad? Have your say in the Spanish Civil War!’

Hattie thought at once of Mr Kelly. He had gone to those meetings, she remembered. He’d been a bit of a rebel in his totting days, so Lily had told her. The man walked by and she smiled at
him, but her mind was on Lil.

First her dad going off the rails and then her uncle dying on Christmas Eve. What would happen if she was pregnant? Hattie had her doubts as to whether Charles would support her. Lily was
lovestruck and Hattie feared for her friend.

She had thought about Lily all afternoon. What could she do to help? She wanted to talk to Reube, but had been sworn to secrecy. Now Hattie found herself making her way to Ben’s house. She
had an idea, but she wasn’t going to go back on her word to Lil. Just make a detour around it.

The terraced houses in Stepney were much smaller than those in Love Lane. She had been here once before with Reube, at the end of last summer. It was an ordinary smoke-blackened two-up,
two-down, with a small back yard. Then she had been a bit sniffy about it. But now she wouldn’t mind one like it herself. Her sights had been set on something bigger with a garden. But if the
opportunity came to move out of Love Lane, she’d jump at it. After all, she and Reube could afford it.

A loud toot made her jump. She recognized Ben as he waved from the window of his cab and pulled into the curb.

‘Hat, what are you doing round here?’ Ben called as he jumped out.

She reached up to kiss his cheek. ‘I got off early from work and was passing this way. You going to invite me in?’

Ben gestured towards the small terraced house with a dirty front step that needed a good clean. ‘Course I am. But I ain’t done much since you was last here.’

‘I can see that.’

He chuckled as he pulled up the key. ‘Mind yourself as you go in. There’s a few bits and pieces in the hall.’

Hattie narrowed her gaze at the boxes, piles of books and clothes that littered the narrow hallway.

‘A bit of a mess, I’m afraid.’

‘Don’t you ever clean up?’

‘I would have if I knew you was coming.’

Hattie giggled. ‘Oh well, I ’spect you’re out working all the time.’

Ben pushed things aside with his foot and led the way to the tiny scullery. ‘I’ll put the kettle on.’

Hattie glanced at the draining board. It was full of dirty plates, cups and mugs. ‘Blimey, I’m not drinking out of one of them!’

Ben grinned as he lit the gas. ‘I got a few clean ones somewhere.’

‘Your mum would have a fit if she saw this.’

‘That’s why I moved out, Hat. So I could please meself.’