Lily of Love Lane (46 page)

Ben gave her his handkerchief. ‘I wish I’d been there, I would have given those buggers something to think about.’

‘Charles wouldn’t have left me if he’d known about the baby.’

‘He shouldn’t have left you anyway, Lil. It just ain’t right, leaving a woman in danger. Look what they did to you, broke your wrist and left you unconscious.’

‘He was only shaking me and I hit me head when I fell on the floor. I wasn’t worried about meself, but I was for the baby.’

‘Thank God, you was both all right.’

‘Maybe it would have been a good thing if I had lost it.’

‘Now, come on, that’s a daft thing to say.’

‘How can I find Charles to tell him?’

He took the handkerchief and wiped under her eyes. ‘Before you think about all that, I’m going to make sure you get well. This house is yours for as long as you want it. Not that
it’s much, but there’s a roof over your head and I’ll make sure that food is in the larder for you and a nice fire to sit by.’

‘What will your neighbours think?’

‘I don’t care what anyone thinks. Anyway, there’s only Mr Next Door, an old boy who calls round every now and then. I give him a lift when he needs it and just pass the time of
day. He’s a good sort and ain’t nosy.’

Lily felt so tired she couldn’t think straight. Her wrist was aching and her heart was aching even more, but there was no cure for that now.

‘Come on, let’s put your feet up and you can rest.’ He lifted her legs on the bed and pulled the cover over. ‘Now, close your eyes and take forty winks.’

Lily didn’t need telling. Her eyes were already closing.

As the days passed, Lil tried to stop thinking about Charles, the house, and even the baby. She tried to remember she had Ben as her guardian angel. What would she have done
without him? Each day he left her warm and comfortable, providing her with all she needed. When he came home from work he always brought her something from the market, even grapes, which were an
expensive luxury.

At the end of the week there was a knock on the door. When Lily went to answer it, expecting to see Ben’s neighbour, she found Hattie.

‘Lil! Lil!’ Hattie threw her arms around her. ‘Oh, Lil, I’ve been dying to see you.’

Lily returned the hug. ‘I can’t give you a squeeze, because of me sling.’

Hattie stared it. ‘Is it broken?’

‘It’s getting better.’

‘You poor thing. I’ve been worried all week. I thought you were in hospital.’

‘I’m out now.’ Lily stepped back. ‘Come in. We can’t talk on the doorstep.’

‘Blimey, this is a bit tidier than before. The last time I came it was Aladdin’s Cave.’

‘Ben gave it a good tidy up.’

In the kitchen Lil lit the gas with a taper that was kept by the fire.

‘That’s a good idea,’ said Hattie, hurriedly taking off her coat and finding the teapot.

‘It saves striking matches which I’m not too good at.’

‘When are you having the plaster off?’

‘Not long now. In March.’

‘Are you managing to dress yourself?’

Lily put out the cups with her good hand and Hattie spooned tea into the pot. ‘I only wear things with buttons I can undo. Me knickers are easy. I’ve had this bra on since the nurse
helped me put it on at the hospital.’

‘I’ll help you with a clean one if you like?’

‘Thanks.’

When the tea was made, the two girls sat down in the front room by the roaring fire.

‘This is nice and cosy.’ Hattie looked at Lily closely. ‘Now, I want to know all that’s happened as I only know a bit from Ben. He said not to come and visit you as you
were a bit upset.’

‘Yes, I was. He’s letting me stay in his spare room. He’s been very good.’

‘You’re not going back to Dewar Street, then?’ Hattie asked before Lily could speak again.

‘I can’t as it’s being sold.’

‘What!’

‘All me furniture’s gone. Everything. It was all sold to a man named Robson.’

‘Lil, before you say any more I’ve got to ask you a question,’ Hattie said softly. ‘What about the baby?’

Lily nodded slowly. ‘I saw Doctor Tapper and he confirmed it.’

‘Does Charles know?’

‘I never got the chance to tell him.’ Lily began to recount all that happened. Hattie listened in shocked silence, her mouth slowly falling open. When Lily came to the part about the
way she was grabbed by the foreign man and pushed to the floor, Hattie gasped angrily.

‘Lil, how could Charles leave you to face them? Did he know you were in hospital because of it?’

‘I left him a letter. Perhaps he didn’t see it. Perhaps he found the house empty and all me clothes gone and really thought I’d moved out.’

‘Well then, why didn’t he call at your mum’s or even go to see Reube at the market?’ Hattie exploded. ‘If you ask me it’s because he’s mixed up with
some rum types.’

‘Do you think so?’

‘He’s done a bunk, ain’t he?’

Lily looked into the fire. ‘I don’t know. I was just happy to think he wanted me as part of his life, even if it was only seeing to his guests. I thought I was so clever and
sophisticated. I used to go through that house thinking it was mine and I would be Mrs Grey one day. I even had the nursery planned out. Now I realize there must have been a lot more to
Charles’ life than I understood.’

‘Lil,’ Hattie said quietly, ‘about the baby. I’m afraid I let it slip to Ben.’

‘I thought it was the doctor at the hospital. But it doesn’t matter.’

‘I don’t like to see you like this. No man can be worth this heartache.’

Lily turned to her. ‘I feel all mixed up.’

‘Just remember anyone who loved you wouldn’t allow you to lie for him, or to be bullied and battered. Now you are homeless and if it wasn’t for Ben, you could be wandering
round the streets.’

‘I know. But Charles is still in me heart.’

Hattie sat silently. After a while she said gently, ‘Are you going to see your mum and dad soon?’

‘When I’ve had me plaster off.’

‘Lil, I’ve got a bit of money if you’d like it? I always put by for a rainy day.’

Lily smiled. ‘Thanks, Hat, but I managed to save quite a bit.’

‘Don’t be too unhappy. The rainy days always pass.’

‘What about the baby?’

‘You’ll love him, that’s what you’ll do.’

But Lily didn’t know now if she could.

By the time she had her plaster removed, Lily had got used to using only one hand but it was a relief to have two again. Ben took her to the hospital where they cut it off and
examined her wrist. It felt limp and thin, but she was relieved she didn’t bump into the doctor she knew as she didn’t have to answer any more questions.

The following Sunday, Ben drove her home. She had been dreading her mum asking a question she couldn’t answer, but to her surprise, when she walked in, an older man was sitting in the
kitchen in her uncle’s chair.

‘This is Walter, Lily,’ her mum introduced at once. ‘He’s Hector Flock’s dad and has just moved to the island and wants to be near his son and family, so he’s
going to lodge with us for a bit.’

‘Hello, Walter.’

‘Pleased to meet you, Lily.’

Lily thought it might be hard to see someone else occupy her uncle’s place but she immediately liked the quiet man who was, like her father, puffing away on a thin cigarette.

‘Molly told me at the funeral that her father-in-law wanted to rent a room close by to them,’ her mother hurried on. ‘So I said he could have your uncle’s and see how we
all get on.’

‘It’s good to have company again,’ nodded her father. ‘We can both get in your mother’s way, until she turns us out into the yard.’ The two men laughed.

‘As soon as the weather is warmer,’ threatened Josie, ‘that’s exactly what I’ll be doing. Now, let’s set out the tea, Lily, and Walter can tell you a bit
about his life. You’ll be surprised to know that he was a baker and has promised to bake us some really nice cakes.’

‘So we’ll have a decent pudding at last, Lil,’ teased her dad, winking behind her mother’s back.

Lily could see the three of them were going to get along well. As they ate tea, she missed her uncle being there, but Walter seemed to have filled the gap.

‘Are you stopping over, ducks?’ her mother asked after tea as they cleared away the dishes and the men went into the parlour.

‘Not tonight, Mum.’ Lily took out her purse. ‘Here’s something to put to the rent.’

‘No, love,’ said her mother, smiling. ‘Walter is well off and is paying us a nice rent. And next week I’m starting a job at the school, thanks to Grace Padgett who does a
few hours cleaning there. She gave me the tip one of the other cleaners is leaving and I grabbed it.’

‘But, Mum, do you really want to do that at your age?’

‘I ain’t that old!’

‘I didn’t mean that.’

Josie smiled. ‘Now Walter has come along and is good company for your dad, I intend to get out of the house. I learned me lesson from your uncle who would have liked to go on longer with
the rag and bone yard. He was frustrated being cooped up here all the time and got a bit miserable towards the end. I’ve decided that’s what I’ll be too if I don’t take me
chance now. And being with other women will be nice. Grace says they have a bit of a knees-up once in a while.’

‘Well, if you’re sure.’

Her mother looked at her curiously. ‘Are you all right, love? You look a bit peaky to me.’

Lily nodded. ‘Course I am.’

Lily was glad when Ben tapped at the door. ‘There’s me lift, Mum.’

Josie patted her arm. ‘Take good care of yourself, then.’

In the car going home, Ben frowned at her. ‘Everything go all right?’

‘I didn’t have to say anything about meself as Mum and Dad have a lodger; he’s Molly Flock’s father-in-law, Walter. So we just had tea and a bit of a chat. Mum said
she’s getting a job at the school, cleaning. She wouldn’t take any money.’ Lily sighed softly. ‘I’m happy for everyone but it just felt a bit strange with all the
changes.’

‘Change is what life is all about, gel,’ Ben replied with a smile. ‘I reckon Hattie and Reube will be moving on too.’

‘That’s always what Hattie’s wanted.’

‘Reube’s got his eye on a two-up, two down in Walthamstow.’

‘Hattie would like that.’

‘Would it be all right if I asked them both round?’

‘That’d be nice. Anyway, you don’t have to ask me, it’s your house.’

As Ben drove steadily through the streets, Lily’s mind began to wander again. She felt her thin wrist under the sleeve of her coat. Would it always remind her of the night that Charles had
left her to face those violent men? Why hadn’t Charles ever sought her out? Even if he didn’t know about the hospital, he could have gone to the market. Reube would have told him where
she was.

Had he ever loved her? Was there still a chance he would marry her if he knew about their baby?

A
s March turned into April, Lily was content to cook and clean in Ben’s little house, as with every week that passed she regained her
strength. She was no longer sick and her wrist was less painful. One Sunday evening Ben drove her and Reube and Hattie out to the Black Cat. Lil was pleased to see Reube again. He told her all the
news from the market as they sat outside on the benches. Ted Shiner had just had another nipper and wetted the baby’s head at the Quarry. Vera Froud had bought herself a van to carry all her
second-hand clothes in but she couldn’t drive it properly. Once or twice there had been a near miss in the market vicinity. Any pedestrian vanished quickly if they saw her coming. He also
told her that his mum and Pedro hadn’t given up the idea of getting wed. And when he and Hattie moved out of the house, Reube thought that then they might marry.

In the soft April evening, Lily listened to the easy talk that once she had been a part of. When the two men went into the pub to replenish their drinks, Lily asked Hattie about Walthamstow.

Hattie looked as though she was about to burst. ‘Did Ben tell you, then?’

Lily nodded. ‘Is it true?’

‘Yes, ’cos we had some good news. I’m in the family way.’

Lily clutched her hand. ‘Oh, Hat, that’s wonderful!’

‘I haven’t told anyone except you and Ben.’

‘Have you seen the doctor?’

‘Yes, but I’ve got to go again next month to confirm it. Lil, we’ll both be having babies together.’

‘Yes, but you’re married.’ Lily looked away.

Hattie shook her arm. ‘It’s the baby that’s important.’

Lily didn’t reply. Her thoughts turned to Charles and what could have happened to him. Why hadn’t he tried to find her? She couldn’t put her fear into words, but each day, the
dark shadows engulfed her.

‘Lil, there’s always a silver lining to every cloud,’ Hattie said as Ben and Reube came out of the pub with their glasses of lemonade. Lily made a big effort to smile. Everyone
was trying to cheer her up and with Hattie’s happy news she couldn’t let them see how desperate she was feeling inside.

The following week, Lily decided to go shopping. There was a row of shops at the bottom of the road and though she didn’t often venture out now she was putting on weight,
the shops weren’t too far away. It was the end of April and very warm, with a blue sky and soft fluffy clouds, but Lily put on her coat as it disguised her growing proportions.

Gathering her bag and locking the front door behind her, she was relieved to see the road was empty. Ben had been right. Unlike Love Lane, the neighbours seemed to keep themselves to themselves.
She had met Mr Next Door only once when he had come round with some newspapers for Ben. Lily had passed the time of day but gone upstairs quickly. She didn’t want Ben to be embarrassed about
having a female living in his house. The old man had left soon after, but Ben had only chucked the papers in the bin.

Now as Lily bought neck of lamb for a stew she was making, an ounce of pearl barley and vegetables that were fresh from the market, sold on a barrow, she forgot for a while about Charles. She
enjoyed cooking their meals at night. Ben was always hungry when he came home. He would tell her about his day, the punters and their funny quirks and the places he had been. He made her laugh and
if he didn’t go out in the cab again, they would sit and listen to the radio. But Lily knew she would have to find a place to live. The baby would show soon. She couldn’t expect Ben to
keep her for much longer. But who would take a pregnant woman as a lodger? She had already begun to think about what she would say to a landlord. Could the father be away at sea? Would this be
believable? At least she had money to pay rent well in advance. But then, as more questions tumbled through her mind about raising her child, Lily felt the fear creep into her heart again. Was she
capable of bringing up a child on her own? How would she do it? Her money wouldn’t last forever.