Limitless (Journey Series) (12 page)

I walked into the bathroom, looking
into the mirror as if it were going to give me some kind of magical answers.
Why was I pushing him away? I couldn’t comprehend why I was doing it.

I pulled out my makeup bag for the
first time in a month. I couldn’t sit in this house any longer. I was going out
to live a little.

I pulled my car in to the familiar
parking lot that sat behind Gino’s and took a deep breath when I stepped out of
the car, breathing in the enticing scent of pizza and pasta, and it instantly
made my stomach rumble. It felt good to be here, it seemed to bring some sense
of normalcy back to my life. I was sure they had replaced me by now, even
though Gino had said my spot would be kept open indefinitely.

Sure enough when I walked in, two
unfamiliar girls were manning the busy tables. It brought back memories of the
many late nights Remy and I had worked together, avoiding the wandering hands
and trading the different one- liners that seemed to get thrown at us all
night. Gino was there though, like always a permanent fixture, and he waved as
I took a seat at the bar.

“Leah, so good to see you, darlin’.
My favorite worker ready to come back yet?” He placed his meaty hands on the
counter in front of him and gave me a wide smile, showing off his perfect white
teeth.

“I don’t know about that Gino, just
needed to get out for a little bit.” I couldn’t imagine having to be around
this many people and having to interact with them on a daily basis. The thought
made me sick to my stomach.

I could just imagine the looks the
regular customers would give me if I came back. They all knew about the
pregnancy, and well now, there was no baby and I’m sure they had heard the
gossip from the other waitresses. I didn’t want their pity.

“Okay, well you look you need to
gain a few pounds, at least I could help out with that. What would you like to
eat?”

Always so worried about my weight.
I swear if Gino had it his way, I would be as round and plump as him. I guess
when you were that good of a cook, especially Italian food that tended to
happen.

“Nothing, actually.” Even though my
rumbling stomach certainly didn’t agree. “Just came in for a drink. Can I get
a…um…a cranberry vodka?” Hopefully, he would forget the fact that I wasn’t
twenty-one yet.  He raised his eyebrows at me in question, but thankfully
didn’t say anything, just slid my drink across the counter silently and gave me
a small wave before heading back into the kitchen, his personal domain.

 I squirmed in
the seat, looking around at all of the people who filled the restaurant,
crowded together at tables, talking and laughing. I felt alone, a feeling that
I had become very familiar with lately.

 Everything
seemed to hurt and I wasn’t sure how to fill the gaping hole in my chest. Caleb
was gone, Ally and Remy were off following the band on tour and Chase...I think
Chase might have finally given up on me. Truthfully, I probably deserved it.

Maybe I was
more like my mother than I thought. There had to have been a reason she turned
out the way she did and it rubbed off onto me too. Her relationship with her
mother had basically been nonexistent and she could have cared less about her
own kids. That’s exactly what I was doing to Caleb.

I looked down
at the glass that sat on the bar in front of me and swirled the contents around
before draining it. Yup, I was officially turning into my mother, but at this
point I didn’t care. I couldn’t.

“Can I buy you
another?” I turned my head at the semi familiar voice and tried to place the
guy who was sitting next to me. He had chocolate brown hair that was just long
enough it made it unruly and he was gazing back at me like he knew me or
something.

“You don’t
remember me, do you?” He slid back on his barstool, licking his lips nervously.
“I come in all the time, you probably waitressed my table only a few hundred
times.”

“Ah, that’s why
you look familiar. Sorry, when you’re waitressing in a place like this, all of
the faces tend to run together besides a few of the regulars that come in for
breakfast.” I turned my body straight again and thanked the bartender when she
refilled my drink.

“I thought you
didn’t work here anymore. I came in a few times and didn’t see you around. I
guess it’s just my luck that you’re here tonight.”

“So, what does
that mean you’re stalking me or something? I don’t really believe in luck.” He
barked out a short laugh and drummed his fingers lightly on the countertop.

 “No,
definitely not stalking you. I’ll admit, I use to come in here at least twice a
week and would always request your table though. My friends thought I was crazy
and would tease the shit out of me for having a crush on you. I’m Grant, by the
way.” He stuck out a hand and I awkwardly reached out to shake it. “And I
already know you’re Leah. So why’d you stop working here? Did you finish school
and get a job?”

“Nope.” I
answered back simply. I really wasn’t going to spill my guts to this random
person.

“Okay,” he
dragged out. “Well, I can leave if you want me to.” He stood up, sliding his
barstool back but I reached out an arm to stop him. “No, please stay.” His
eyebrows scrunched in confusion, but thankfully he sat back down. I guess any
company was good company tonight, even if he was pretty much a complete
stranger. He was someone who had no clue what had really been going on in my
life lately and I didn’t see pity in his eyes. It was refreshing. “I could use
a little bit of company if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,”
he replied with a grin and sat back down.

We talked for
what felt like hours. Well, I guess Grant talked and I listened mainly. The
more he talked, the more I remembered him. He used to come in with a group of
friends that were constantly hitting on me the whole time I waited on them.
Grant had seemed to be the quieter one of the bunch, but I didn’t know if that
was a front he was trying to put up at the time or what. Because he hadn’t
stopped talking at all tonight.

The bartender
kept my drinks flowing and I felt myself loosening up more and more as the
alcohol took over my body. When Grant asked if I was ready to leave, I agreed
and he led me out of the restaurant, his hand resting on the small of my back.
If it hadn’t been there, I’m not sure how I would have made it out the front
door.

I pulled my
keys from my pocket, but they were quickly plucked out of my hand. “No way
Leah, I’m not letting you drive home. You certainly aren’t in any condition.”

“And you are?”
I raised an eyebrow at him and he smirked at me, holding his arms out to the
side of him and walking a perfect straight line across the parking lot.

“We sat there
for like two hours, Leah and I had one beer. You on the other hand, well I
think I lost count. They most definitely should have cut you off a while ago.
I’ll take you home if you want or maybe back to my place.” My stomach fluttered
with nerves when he said the last part. Had I been leading him on all night or
what? I knew he had a crush on me, he basically came right out and said it. Was
it wrong to want a little bit of human connection tonight, especially with
someone who I barely knew. Grant definitely wasn’t treating me like a delicate
flower.

I shrugged my
shoulders and leaned against his car. “Maybe I’ll just stay here all night.”

“I don’t think
that’s a very good idea. You never know who’s roaming these parking lots at
night. It’s probably not safe.” His warm breath tickled my neck as he inched
closer and he looked down at me with intense eyes. He reached down and ran a
finger lightly across my cheek. I wasn’t sure what to do. My feet were frozen
to the ground, but it actually felt nice to have someone touching me, it made
me feel...alive.

“Leah-” I
didn’t let him get any further. I don’t know if I could blame my actions on the
alcohol clouding my brain or how my emotions had been turned off for the past
month.

“Just shut up,”
I whispered against his teeth and crashed my mouth into his. He took control
immediately, winding his hands in my hair to pull me closer, and probing my
mouth with his warm tongue like he had been waiting for this kiss for a long
time.

It felt...I
don’t know how it felt. He was aggressive, almost like he was trying to eat me
alive as he cupped my ass to lift me up against the car and slid his fingers
underneath my shirt. My legs wrapped around his waist and I sunk my fingers
into his dark brown locks. If anyone in this parking lot wasn’t safe, it was
definitely me. I had no clue what I was doing, but I knew one thing. He wasn’t
my husband.                             

                                                                                **********

I woke up to a
warm body sprawled over me, one arm wrapped around my waist, and the other
lifting my shirt to expose my bare stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering
what in the hell was going on. Brown eyes ran through my head and I winced,
hoping I hadn’t just made a really huge mistake that could mess my life up even
more than it already was. What was his name, Grady or Brant? No, Grant.

 Warm, open-mouthed
kisses trailed up my stomach, sending shivers down to my toes. I reached down,
running my hands through the hair that belonged to the head currently working
on me, and let out a small sigh of relief when I felt the familiar scruffiness
of my husband’s head.

He slid up my
body and stared down at me when he heard me. Those green eyes were looking at
me so intently; I couldn’t help but reach up and run a hand along his strong
jaw.

“I’m sorry,
baby,” he whispered out in his husky voice, leaning down to bury his head in
the crook of my neck. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you last night. Please
forgive me.”

I swallowed
over the lump in my throat, knowing that Chase was the last person who needed
to be forgiven. I was the one who had messed up. Chase lifted his head,
smoothing back the curls that had fallen across my cheek. “I forgive you,
Chase,” I squeaked. The guilt that was eating away at me seemed like it grew
even bigger. Like I needed to forgive him.

He leaned down
tentatively, probably afraid I was going to push him away, but I couldn’t. I
already felt guilty enough that I had let things go so far with some guy last
night that I had just met officially. How far did things go exactly?

My head was a
blur and pounding, by my guess I had my first ever hangover. How people could
drink like that all the time like my mother, I would never know and she did
almost on a daily occasion. Feeling like shit is not my idea of a fun time.

Chase pulled my
bottom lip in between his teeth, lightly nipping it before sucking it into his
mouth. When he let go of my lip and finally intertwined our tongues, a moan
escaped. He always tasted so good.

He pulled away
all too soon and dropped down to my neck, trailing a line of kisses down until
he reached my collarbone. His tongue slipped out and swirled around in circles
before he lightly bit down.  “Leah, I’ve missed this, so much and I’ve missed
you,” he breathed out. I pulled his body closer to mine in response, hopefully
conveying the same feelings to him.

I felt the same
way too, even though I hadn’t realized it until just then. My body was
trembling at the anticipation of what was to come next. Chase must have sensed
my fear even though it was mixed with excitement. He worshiped every inch of my
body with his lips before hooking a thumb in my panties and lifting my shirt
over my head all of the way.

He slowly
slipped inside of me and we both let out a sigh at the familiar feeling of our
bodies connecting together. He placed his forehead against mine, never looking
away from me, not once. His eyes were filled with unshed tears and I felt like
I couldn’t breathe by the intense way he was staring down at me while he rocked
against me. I locked my legs around his waist, hoping I was showing him just
how much this meant to me too.

His warm hands
slid down my sides, gripping onto my hips to pull me closer against him, as he
moved at almost a rhythmic frantic pace, like he was afraid I would shut down
again any minute.

“Leah, I love
you so much,” he growled out, never letting up. I reached up a trembling hand
to run along the stubble on his face. I had no idea how this man could still
love me so much after everything I had put him through. And then I screwed it
up even more by what I did last night.

I squeezed my
eyes shut, slightly shaking my head at the guilt, no I wasn’t going to think
about that right now. “I love you too, Chase. More than you’ll ever know.” His
gaze turned even more heated as our bodies slapped against each other and I
worked to keep up with his quick pace.

Every nerve in
my body exploded and I swear I saw stars when I easily found my release. Chase’s
body shuttered against me and he dropped down to his elbows, hovering over me.
He placed one last soft kiss on my lips before curling his body around mine and
we both drifted off to sleep, completely satisfied for the first time in a long
while.

Chase

I woke up and reached out for Leah
to pull her small body back against mine, but my hand just found empty space. I
switched on the lamp and saw that it was almost noon. I had needed that sleep
with my wife.

I couldn’t stay at my mom’s house
any longer last night, knowing that I had left Leah the way I did. I tiptoed
out of the house in the middle of the night and made my way home. I ran a few
thousand different scenarios through my head on the way there. Was she going to
be pissed and tell me to get the hell out? Or would she just lay there and
ignore me?

What I got instead, surprised the
shit out of me, but it was probably one of the best answers I could have
gotten. We had reconnected in a way that was so special; I knew I had gotten a
little piece of my Leah back. Now I would just have to see what her attitude
would be like this morning.