Lincoln County Series 1-3 (13 page)

He heard Lacey’s sharp intake of breath. “Oh. You didn’t.”

“Of course I didn’t!” He walked away from her. “The problem is, I still can’t figure out how I got in that woman’s room in the first place. I keep replaying that night over and over again in my mind and I just don’t get what happened.”

Lacey sat down again. “Well, it’s obvious that Charlotte had something to do with it, she’s had it in for Cameron since she got here.” She looked at him as if
he
were to blame.

“Whatever that tramp did, it worked. I don’t remember anything,” he said, disgusted.

“It’s not like it would be the first time you’ve been with that woman,” Lacey stated dully, obviously angry at him for putting Cameron through this. Her innocent, pure friend was no longer innocent or pure, on account of him.

He looked at her. “I didn’t need that.”

“She’s not herself. It’s probably because Andrew’s got her going to church with him.” At Jake’s puzzled look, she added, “Yes,
church.
”

“What the...” Jake put his face in his hands. “I’m not out of the picture for a moment before he starts filling her head with...with whatever church people put into their heads!” He didn’t make sense and knew it. A moment ago he was done with Cameron. He wasn’t sure why this bothered him as much as it did. He ought to be happy for her, and instead, green jealousy seemed to come alive, boiling to the surface.

“What are you going to do about it?” Lacey sat up, intrigued.

“Nothing, that’s what. She can do whatever she likes, as well as our so-called preacher. I have work to do. See yourself out.”

*** *** ***

Later Jake got up the nerve to visit the restaurant. He would attempt to talk to Cameron, see where they stood with each other. He heard laughter and debated a moment, hedging his bets as to what he’d find.

What he saw confirmed his suspicion, betrayal at its best.

Andrew saw him first. “Jake, it’s been a while.” He stood, offering his hand.

Jake stood back, staring at the top of Cameron’s head. She’d refused to look at him. Andrew lowered his arm, his smile faded.

“Well, this is a nice,
cozy
setting, wouldn’t you say so,
Preacher.”

Andrew raised his eyebrows. “Is there a problem?”

“There’s no problem.” Jake let out a short, clipped laugh. “It’s just a good thing that you figured out what kind of a man I am, Cameron. Looks like you’ve found yourself a better option. Good luck to ya both.”

Cameron did glance up at him then, tears in her eyes. He’d hurt her and he was as tormented as she looked. But he was no match against Andrew, simply because Andrew was the decent one. He turned around before he could say anything else damaging and left them alone.

Chapter Twenty-One

A few days after Jake’s angry appearance, Thomas had gone and got himself shot by an enemy outlaw, giving Cameron the perfect opportunity to sort out her life. As soon as she heard, she took advantage of his paralyzed state and cared for him. While he remained as insolent and unbearable as before, she all but officially moved in with him and the gang. To add to his torment, his buddies began to treat her like a sister, and without remorse, she happily received their attentions.

She now risked a glance at Thomas, who was sitting with his miserable self in the wheelchair Doc Colvin had loaned him. “Would you like some more coffee?”

He was positioned to look out the window where snow drifted continuously about. “No.”

She tried and she sighed. At least Doc Colvin believed Thomas would only suffer short-term paralysis, since he had feeling in both legs. “They’re just weak, adjusting to the nerves where I removed the bullet,” he’d said.

Despite Thomas’s lack of interest, Cameron knew she’d found her place, feeling needed and wanted, even if not by all. Whenever she succumbed to thoughts of getting used to how Thomas behaved, she would catch him laughing with his men, getting into their stories or telling some of his own, only to clam up when he noticed her watching. And every time that occured, an unsettling sense of fear and rejection knotted up inside, overruling her contentment and happiness.

Several weeks into her stay, she noticed physical progress. “You’re walking!” She found Thomas standing in the kitchen, his chair a few feet away.

“I’m standing on shaky legs all right,” he said. It was clear he couldn’t contain his excitement, let alone make himself appear nasty. His eyes lit up, even if his mouth didn’t turn up.

She rushed to pull out a chair for him to sit in. “Breakfast is almost ready.”

She poured him a cup of coffee with two lumps of sugar and the standard amount of cream. One by one the sleepy inhabitants of the house materialized at the table. The gang was getting spoiled with her cooking. The sausages were still sizzling when she placed the heaping plate in the middle of the table. She mounded up the scrambled eggs and stuck in a large serving spoon. Surprising them further, she took a plum bread pudding out of the new stove Jesse insisted buying for her use. They all had a good laugh when they saw him hauling the thing off the horse-drawn sled and dragging it through knee deep snow.

“You’re puttin’ that fine stove to good use,” Lance said as she dished him up a nice portion. “Thomas, you got a good thing here with your sister. Wish I had me one just like her.” He spooned the hot dessert into his mouth.

Cameron stilled a moment, barely managing to serve Thomas, wondering what she could do to wipe his scowl away. She was getting wise and adapting. Strong determination moved her to see the best of him. If this was her lot in life to care for this gang, she wouldn’t complain. Cameron Engel from Ludenville, Wyoming, finally had a purpose.

The pangs of longing she felt whenever she reflected upon Jake were getting fewer and fewer. She was grateful for the respite from her feelings, whatever they once were. Being at the ranch and away from him saved her some mental torment.

One thing she missed was Andrew’s everyday company, though they still made Sundays their time to visit, after service. Now that she was at the ranch most of the time, trying hard to edge her way into Thomas’ life, her priorities had shifted. She thought on the last couple of meetings she’d gone to, when she had become intrigued, curious about the stories Andrew shared. An unexplainable emotion stirred inside of her the last time she’d attended, and whatever it was, it made her want more of it. In the few times she’d listened to Andrew’s passionate sermons about the way Jesus was and is, small revelations came to her revealing God and His forgiveness. She always knew it was morally wrong to give yourself to a man prior to being married, but when it’s just you, there is nothing to stop you from following your heart. She readied herself to ask Andrew if it was possible for his God to forgive someone like her.

*** *** ***

Today she was anxious to make her way to the restaurant and hurried along from serving breakfast to getting ready. It was time to celebrate New Year’s Day! After several days away from her dearest friend, she walked into Lacey’s, dusting snow from all parts of her. She peered around the corner and found Lacey in the midst of placing a crystal bowl of cinnamon sticks and dried apples onto an elaborately decorated tabletop. Fragrance of spiced fruit filled the restaurant with a warm and inviting aroma. Sugar coated pinecones were strewn about, adding splashes of color here and there and Lacey was dressed as elegantly as ever, adding to the regal air she always had about herself.

“Everything is beautiful!”

Lacey turned. “Cameron! I’ve missed you so. Though I still haven’t forgiven you for abandoning me!”

Cameron took her words and shook them off as she did the snow and immediately went to work.

As the dinner hour neared, she raced to get herself presentable. Her mind was split in two, one side toiled with being grateful that Jake would not be there, and the other wished he was. It was this second thought that scared her, as it was the one that brought on the feeling of hollowness, of something unknown that had been stolen away from her soul and spirit. Cameron desperately wanted these feelings to stop and go far from her mind, from her gut. She had many unanswered questions,
what
would make it go away?

Soon enough her friends had made their way through the coldness and the snow. Lacey sat at the head of the table after the guests took to their seats. “It is good to have us all together,” she said, greeting everyone with a strong sense of affirmation. She raised her glass. “We can be thankful for this—look around you. This is a time to celebrate the lives of our friends and family. Once Jake Collins decides to return to us, and Thomas stops being a stubborn old fool, we will be complete.”

“Here, here,” came cheers around the table. It was true. Cameron looked to her right at Lance. Across from him sat Jesse and Mack. Andrew sat next to her and she could hardly believe they had all come together. Ed Randall had his place next to Lacey and later Doc Colvin played his fiddle for the after dinner entertainment.

The saloon was closed as Liam was with his wife’s family, so the men cleared away tables, creating a dance floor. Andrew surprised all and taught dances from back East, filling the room with absolute delight and laughter.

There was obviously a shortage of women, so Ed sat out a few dances allowing Lacey to accommodate Cameron and Patsy in making the rounds. Cameron was breathless by the time she flew into Lance’s large arms. He proved to be extremely clumsy with his big frame and recent leg wound, causing a roar of hearty laughter his way. He managed to laugh himself back to his seat.

Cameron was available for a brief moment before Jesse grabbed her waist and swung her to the rhythm of the fiddle. Although the embarrassment of her actions on the Fourth of July still lingered over her head at times, she danced buoyantly. She would not allow anything to ruin this day.

When the night came to an end, Cook heated some bricks to be placed in the buggy. Cameron insisted on returning home with the gang to bring Thomas some leftover joy and Cook’s good roast.

Chapter Twenty-Two

He’d been long overdue for a bath and a shave, but still, Jake walked into Lacey’s.

She ran into his arms, then wrinkled her nose and stepped back. “Ewww, I can’t believe you took to bounty hunting—such an indelicate sport.”

“I know, but there’s not a chance in ‘you know what’ that I would bathe in one of those frozen creeks. I just wanted you to know that I came back, before I head home.” His weary eyes scanned the room.

“She’s not here.”

A feeling of anger briefly passed through him. Most likely he’d lost her completely to Andrew.

“She’s been taking care of Thomas. I don’t know why, but she won’t give up on that pigheaded brother of hers.” She threw her hands up in frustration.

He sighed with relief. What he really wanted was to ask was what had become of Cameron and Andrew, but couldn’t bring himself to do so. He’d had a lot of thinking time alone out on the trail, and by the time he found the outlaw he’d been hunting, he was still as messed up as before.

Desperately, he wanted to deny affections for Cameron, thinking time apart would do the trick, but as hard as he tried, they wouldn’t go away. He couldn’t blame her if she hated him, he wanted her, and he’d had her. But she needed love and security, and it pained him to know they couldn’t come from him. There was something about Cameron and her sweet nature that made him forget himself and what was good for her. Or was that just an excuse? He was finding out the hard way that lust and desire were pure evil, and for the first time he was beginning to despise their control over his life.

Knowing that Cameron was out of Andrew’s reach and busy at Thomas’s ranch brought a relief, which poured over him like warm oil.

*** *** ***

Andrew heard Cameron no longer stayed at the ranch and wanted to see how she was managing back at the restaurant. He wondered if Thomas continued to reject her or if he was just better and no longer needed a nurse. She was in his thoughts when his head landed on the pillow at night, in the very midst of his dreams, and upon waking in the morning. He wrestled with the knowledge that he wanted to be more than a spiritual influence in her life. This was a place he fought hard not to go. He was falling for Cameron Engel. And in his own strength could do nothing about it.