Lincoln County Series 1-3 (16 page)

Knowing she was alone, Cameron risked looking foolish and followed her heart. “God,” she cried aloud
,
her first weak attempt at prayer. “Oh, God, I do want your love... the same love Andrew speaks of. Could you give me the peace I’ve been searching for? I hardly know how to love you back, but I want to learn. Please, give me a faith like Andrew’s.”

Cameron opened her eyes to see sunshine dancing off the sparkling water in the creek. In that instant, a sensing, a knowing came to her as crystal clear as the water she let run through her fingers. God heard her prayer. New tears came. This time they were tears of inexpressible confidence that she, someone such as herself, was received and loved. She was deeply amazed at how clean she felt, as if the water at her feet washed her filth away, only it wasn’t the flowing creek, it was God.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Andrew watched Cameron serve customers at supper. He admired the way she touched their shoulders in kindness, listened tenderly to chatty women, flashing them genuine smiles. She was a selfless, giving person. It was like she was made to love and take care of anyone who crossed her path, it came so naturally. Despite all the trouble that had come her way, Cameron was strong and bounced back even stronger.

She saw him and smiled, then finished her conversation with a family, tickling the youngin’ under his chin with the crook of her slender finger before coming over to his table.

His face lit up like a schoolboy. “These are for you.” He handed her three yellow tulips.

“Already?” she asked, blushing at his attention.

“Can you believe it? They seemed to just pop up over night at the side of my house.” He was thrilled when the flowers bloomed early—as if they did it just for this moment.

“I love them!” She inhaled their delicate scent and pivoted away, saying something about a vase.

It was hard for him to see the scar branding her cheek, though Doc Colvin had been right. It had healed nicely in its threadlike appearance. As refreshing as it was to know Cameron held no ill-will towards the one who did this horrid thing to her, he had to deal with his own thoughts about Charlotte.

Andrew had also been working diligently, with God’s help, on dealing with thoughts of Jake and Cameron. He watched them carefully when they were together. Cameron treated Jake the same as she did everyone else. What he saw in Jake’s eyes was quite different, however. Andrew almost felt sorry for his wayward friend. It was ironic though that neither one seemed to have the woman’s affections. This did make it easier to deal with anger and distrust whenever they tried to fog his mind.

Cameron had grown and changed in the past months and he would not, he told himself,
would not
interfere with her happiness. He didn’t care for her living back at the ranch, but the one thing he could be thankful for was that now her brother would protect her integrity. He didn’t like to admit that he had thought about that young dandy, Jesse, a time or two. It was thoughts like that he wished God would swoop down and destroy before entering his mind. But He didn’t comply, so Andrew was left learning to take his love for Cameron one day at a time.

“Here’s your supper.” Patsy delivered a steaming bowl of stew and a mini loaf of hot bread. His eyes looked passed her. “She’s putting her flowers in a vase, humming,” she said with a smirk. “She didn’t want your supper to get cold and asked me to bring it out to you.”

Sheepishly, he said, “Forgive my lack of manners. Thank you, it smells wonderful.”

“I didn’t make it, I’m just bringin’ it,” she said dryly.

He took longer than necessary to eat, slowly pulling apart his bread until it was all gone. He had a mind to stay until the restaurant was empty. A minute alone with Cameron would help him go another day.

True to his wishes, after the last table departed, Cameron brought out a tray of coffee and dessert. He felt foolish for staying so long, but it didn’t matter. If foolishness was the price he needed to pay, he had a lot of it to spend, and every cent was worth it.

“How’s your mother doing, Andrew?”

“I received a letter only yesterday. She’s doing just fine. She’ll be visiting in a couple of months when the new church is completed.” Andrew cautiously sipped the hot brew.

“Did you hear about Miss Evah?” Cameron asked.

“I did. I can’t believe she would sign up to be a mail order bride.”

“I can’t believe she’s heading out West. It seems so dangerous there.”

“It can’t be more dangerous than living here.”

She giggled. “Isn’t that the truth!”

After a bit of silence he said, “Come riding with me.”

“I would love to.”

“Be sure to bundle up. I know the sun’s been shining but it’s deceiving. It’s colder than you think.”

Andrew restrained himself from showing excessive excitement. After all, Cameron looked upon him as a friend, nothing more. Still, it didn’t steal the joy he felt knowing he would have her all to himself.

*** *** ***

Andrew rode alongside Cameron. Her eyes scanned the glorious landscape. He held onto the silence between them because she appeared to be contemplating something.

Minutes later she spoke.

“I’ve done it, Andrew. Last month.” She looked at him. “I’ve invited Him into my life.”

It took a minute to perceive and digest what she said...last month? And she didn’t tell him? He realized then that she’d needed Him to herself, to heal her heart, to reveal His unconditional love towards her, to do the many wonderful things He does for His children.

Andrew jumped from his horse and pulled her down and into his arms. Swinging her around he shouted, “Yeah-Whoo!” In his excitement he squeezed her in his rough embrace.

“Andrew...I can’t...breathe,” she stammered.

“I’m just so happy!”

They stopped suddenly. He gently cupped her face and kissed her mouth soundly but swiftly. Apologetically he took her in. “I shouldn’t have done that. I won’t do it again.”

She, too, appeared contrite.

He lifted her chin with his gloved hand. “I should say I won’t ever do that again, unless you are my wife.”

Tears filled her eyes until they spilled out. “I’ve done so many wrong things. You can’t possibly want me.”

“I mean no disrespect, but you have no idea what I want. And don’t tell me that I don’t want you for my wife.”

She turned away. “You don’t understand. If you did, you would take back everything you just said to me.”

He closed his eyes and gained his bearings on the most difficult thing he’s ever had to say. Andrew gently grasped Cameron’s shoulders and turned her back towards him. This thing needed to be said, for both of them.

“I know about you and Jake. I was there when Charlotte announced it to the world, remember?” He slid the back of his hand over her scar and searched her face. “I can’t say that I wasn’t heartbroken about it, because I’ve loved you for a long time.”

She surrendered herself to be held in his embrace. Her body shook with sobs until she was spent, weak from emotion and drained from tears.

“I must look a sight!” Her hands went to fix her hat gone askew.

“You couldn’t be more beautiful. Red marks and freckles,” he commented with a smile. “Who knew?”

“Andrew. About what you said, a minute ago...” She shifted nervously.

He put his finger to her lips. “I don’t want you to respond to that. Not yet, anyway.”

*** *** ***

The next morning, Andrew was interrupted while getting dressed as someone began to pound on his door. Thinking it an emergency he didn’t bother buttoning his shirt.

He flung the door open and Thomas Engel barged into his home. Andrew had a sick feeling creep into his belly. “Has something happened to Cameron?” Panic raised the level of his voice.

Thomas swung around. “You! That’s what’s apparently happened.”

Andrew looked baffled, but sensing nothing was truly wrong, he slowly closed the door.

“Have a seat.” He gestured towards a chair.

“I’ll have no such thing. I hear a rumor that you are courting my sister!”

“It’s no rumor,” Andrew said matter-of-factly and began buttoning his shirt. “Though I was going to make my way over to your home and ask for your blessing.”

“My blessing? What for?” Thomas bellowed.

Andrew let out a short laugh then cleared his throat. “I find it hard to understand where your concern is.” He finished the last button and reached for his shoes.

“My concern is for my sister—be it late, I know. She’s only nineteen years old.”

“She’s nearly twenty.”

“How old are you?” Thomas demanded. He crossed his arms, spread his feet apart and took on an intimidating stance.

Andrew barely cast him a glance. “Twenty-eight.”

“And a preacher to boot. Does she know how old you are?”

“Of course she does. She also knows I’m a preacher, by the way.”

Wordlessly, Thomas sat down.

Andrew felt compassion for the man. He pulled his shoes on and joined him. “Thomas, if you want to be a part of her life, and you’re trying to make up for everything, you can’t go attacking those she’s close to. Have you talked to her?”

Thomas looked at him blankly.

“I won’t take her from you. She wouldn’t let me anyway. I’ve never seen her so happy. She loves you, you’re her family.”

Thomas hung his head and stared at the floor. “I just got her, and I figured on having her around for a while.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

As Cameron rode up the dusty street she noticed Jake with a bag across his shoulder. She observed him for a moment. Something was different. He had his gun belt on and she took note of the horse tied loosely to the rail, fully loaded with a pack, blanket and rifles. An unwanted sensation gnawed in the pit of her stomach. He was leaving. She dismounted, keeping her eyes on him as she tied up her own horse.

“Jake,” she spoke softly. “Where are you going?” She placed a hand on his arm. “Don’t leave,” she pleaded.

“I’m going bounty hunting.”

“Why?”

“Because there are bad guys out there.”

“But you don’t have to go get them.”

Her heart was breaking over him.

He removed himself from beneath her touch. “I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t give you what you deserve and yet I want you so bad it hurts to see you and not touch you, or kiss you.”

He looked at her lips and she panicked.

“If you go, I’ll know it’s my fault. I don’t want to be the reason for you to leave your home. Please. Stay.”

*** *** ***

Roughly, and by the curve of her sweet neck, Jake pulled her into an embrace. He didn’t know what to say to her plea. He’d tried for months to ignore the furtive glances between her and Andrew. He needed time to get over feeling betrayed. He couldn’t stay, not even for her.

He loosened his hold and nearly caved when she said, “Promise you’ll be back soon?”

“I promise I’ll be back, that’s as far as I go.” Steadily, he placed his hands on her shoulders, and after a moment’s hesitation, leaned in to peck her scarred cheek, savoring the salty taste of her glistening tears. Holding her at arm’s length, he forced himself away.

He swung upon his horse and rode off.

A CHALLENGE OF THE HEART