Lioness Rampant (17 page)

Alanna blushed. “Thayet, you're flattering me. It was easier for me to rebel than stay and make something of myself. Why didn't I go to convent school and prove ladies are more than ornaments that way?”

Thayet's look was skeptical. “What I'm trying to say is that I look forward to creating my
own
life. In Tortall I can, because I'll be without rank or title.” She sat on the bed. “I'm going to start a school for the children of commoners. Once I sell my jewels, I'll have plenty of money to do so.”

Alanna, who had different plans for Thayet, said
hastily, “I won't cast you adrift when we're there! You'll be our guest—Thom's and Myles's and mine. The school's a grand idea, but there are ways and ways to start one.”

Thayet shrugged. “Look at me, rattling on when you just woke up.” Firmly, she tucked blankets around Alanna. “Try to sleep some more.” She left, carrying the tray.

Sleep was the last thing Alanna wanted. She'd had a week of it. With an effort she threw off her blankets and stood. Leaning against a bedpost for support, she took inventory: twisted leg—stiff but painless; assorted bruises—fine; gash on her chest and bitten lip—cleanly healed; eyes—teary but working; hands—she didn't want to think about her hands. Not bad, considering.

She dressed in garments that could be pulled on. Buttons and buckles were more than she could handle. She tucked her feet into slippers and clumsily ran a brush through her hair. Keeping a watch for well-meaning persons who might shoo her back to her room, she escaped to the stables.

The stableboy ran when he saw her, which was convenient. There are times in every rider's life when it is necessary to apologize to a horse, but Alanna preferred not to have witnesses. It was too embarrassing.
Moonlight tried to stay aloof as her knight-mistress entered her stall. Alanna offered an apple stolen from the common room, stroking the mare and whispering compliments. Soon Moonlight was nudging and nuzzling, plainly checking Alanna's hooves, withers, and flanks. The salve on Alanna's bandages made the mare sneeze.

“I wish Liam forgave this easily,” sighed Alanna. She looked up to see Faithful sitting on the gate. “Are you angry too?”

I know why you went. Moonlight and the others were worried,
the cat said.
I've been staying here since the Dragon woke and found you gone. Horses are calmer people. They also don't throw things at cats.
He climbed onto her shoulder, draping himself around Alanna's neck.

“Poor Faithful. He didn't really throw things, did he?”

Only when he saw me.

Someone coughed. Coram had been grooming Anvil. Now he leaned against the bay's stall, watching.

“Are you going to yell at me, too?” Alanna asked warily.

“I should, I expect. I thought I raised ye to treat blizzards with more respect.”

“I did. If you hadn't taught me how to dress, how to survive, I wouldn't be here now.” Alanna wanted so much for him to say it was all right. She couldn't bear it if she lost Coram
and
Liam both.

“Surely ye're not tellin' me it was a simple matter of layerin' yer clothes and usin' snowshoes.” There was a mocking gleam in his eye.

“No. I used my Gift. Coram, I didn't have a
choice.
If I'd walked out of here on a sunny day, Chitral—the being that holds the pass—would've dumped another storm right on my head. If there
was
a safe way to get the Jewel, I would've followed it gladly.” To her shame, Alanna felt tears dripping down her cheeks. “Please don't be angry with me.”

Coram walked over and put his arms around her. “There, now, Lioness,” he whispered, holding Alanna tightly. “It's just hard to see ye all grown up and doin' mighty things.” He wiped Alanna's eyes with his handkerchief. “Though I don't know why I'm surprised, since ye always told me ye would.” He put the handkerchief to her nose. “Blow,” he said firmly. She obeyed, just as she had when she was five. “That's my girl.”

Buri, Thayet, and Coram came to share Alanna's dinner, setting their own meals up on tables so they could
eat dinner together. Since the inn's healer had examined and rebandaged her hands, Alanna could use her own knife and fork. That alone lifted her spirits—being fed made her feel helpless. Once the maids cleaned up, they roasted chestnuts in the hearth and told stories until everyone was yawning. Thayet was gathering up her beadwork when Alanna said, “If it's all right, I'd like to go the day after tomorrow.”

“Are you crazy?” Buri demanded. “You just got up! You said yourself you won't be able to grip anything but a fork or spoon for a week!”

Alanna shrugged. “I'd just like to set out. I'll be all right.” Meeting Coram's eyes, she added, “Moonlight won't let me fall.”

Shaking her head, Thayet sighed. “We'll see how you feel tomorrow.”

Buri stayed when the other two went out. “I want you to know that it's an honor to ride with you, wherever,” the girl said shyly. “I just hope someday you'll tell me what happened. It must've been
awful
, the shape you're in.” She grinned.

“The innkeeper won't take payment, did Thayet tell you? The healer won't, either. The grooms fight over who works on our horses, especially yours. The maids cut up the napkin you used
for lunch, so they can each have a bit.”

“Buri, that's crazy!” Alanna protested.

“Ask them,” Buri said impishly. “They say you parted the snows and walked up there to do battle with the God of the Roof for his Jewel.”

“All this will happen to you someday, once you go out and start performing great deeds,” Alanna threatened as the girl opened the door. Buri winked and left. “What nonsense!” Alanna said to Faithful.

The inn has filled up over the last three days,
was the cat's lazy reply.
The innkeeper raised his prices. He expects a very good year—several very good years, in fact. Word gets around fast.
He yawned and tucked his nose beneath his tail.

Muttering about human folly, Alanna tossed the bedclothes aside and went downstairs. Since her friends had been with her until late, only a few people remained in the common room, most of them drinkers who were oblivious to anything. The innkeeper and a maidservant were cleaning up. Liam sat before the fire in a low chair, feet crossed before him, frowning.

“I thought Shang warriors were too dignified to sulk.” Alanna hooked a stool over so she could sit in front of him.

“Go away, Lady Alanna,” he sighed, reaching for a tankard and draining it. The innkeeper came with another tankard and a pitcher, pouring mulled cider for them both before making himself scarce.

Baffled and hurt, Alanna pinched an earlobe to keep from crying. When she had herself under control again, she rasped, “What's wrong with you? Are you offended because I didn't take your manly advice? D'you think I did something you couldn't have? Is your
pride
hurt?” She looked at her bandaged hands; they were trembling.

A massive hand gripped her chin, turning her face so he could stare into her eyes. “Put yourself in my boots.” His voice was soft, his face tight. “I sat here wondering if you'd live while all around me folk talked about those who died of the cold. Moonlight tried to break down the stable door. The hostlers had to drug her. Coram—I never want to see a man
that
drunk again. Thayet and Buri were fine. Why shouldn't they be fine? You witched them. Just like you witched me.”

That's it,
Alanna realized. She had known how he felt about magic, and she had let Faithful spell him anyway. Liam would never trust her again. “Are we finished, then?” she whispered.

He let her go. She continued to watch him, waiting. “I don't know, kitten.”

At the use of her nickname she felt her chin tremble and her eyes fill. “I
am
sorry. I know it doesn't do any good, but I am. If you'd wakened, you'd've stopped me.”

Liam nodded. His eyes faded from emerald to a blue-gray she'd never seen before. “Seems there's nothing we can do, right? I can't help the way I feel. Not about the Gift. And you can't help but use it, nor should you. A tool is meant to be used.” After a moment he swallowed and added, “I'm sorry, too.” His voice was cracking. “You probably saw I had my things moved to another room.”

“Can we be friends, still?”

“I promise it.” He couldn't keep the relief from his voice, which hurt Alanna more than anything he'd actually said. She made her excuses and went upstairs to cry over Liam Ironarm one more time.

Two days later they set out. Alanna couldn't shake the sense that she had to go home, and her companions had caught the feeling from her. Most of the inn's staff appeared sorry to say good-bye, although some—like the stableboy—hid their eyes in the Doi
gesture of fear and respect when they passed. Alanna tossed a gold noble to the boy, wanting to make up for the fright her sleep-spell had given him. He dropped it with a yelp, refusing to touch it until a maidservant had picked it up.

On the road, Alanna stopped for a last glance at Chitral Pass. The snow was nearly gone after the spate of spring temperatures that had followed her adventure. Green showed on the rocky walls leading up into the surrounding mountains. A party of trappers was headed up into Chitral as another company descended from Lumuhu Pass. Alanna wondered if Chitral watched her and waved a farewell in case he did.

That night they stopped at an inn they'd used on the way north. Where before they had been treated no differently from other wayfarers, now they were honored guests. The news of Alanna's feat and her possession of the Jewel had spread rapidly, and the inn's staff made it plain they considered no service to be too small for them to give Alanna and her friends. The landlord refused payment at first but learned that the Shang Dragon could be very persistent. The company received the same treatment from the staff of the next inn, where they spent their second night on the southern road.

As their third day's ride drew to a close, Alanna
thought wistfully of a camp under the stars. It would be chilly, like any other mountain night, but they would have privacy. If the next inn was like the last two, privacy would be in short supply. Burdened as she was with mending hands, Alanna didn't want to mention it. The others would have to do her work if they camped.

Buri halted when they saw the lights of a town ahead. “I'll meet the rest of you in the morning,” she announced. “I'd rather freeze to death.” She looked guiltily at Alanna. “Sorry, Lioness. I forgot you almost did freeze to—”

“
Enough
, Buri,” Alanna growled.

“I have to stay with Buri so she can protect me,” announced Thayet. “I'm tired of sleeping indoors anyway.”

The men looked uncomfortable, and Faithful yowled his disgust with overly attentive maids. Alanna sighed in relief. “Let's find a camping spot.”