Little Red Gem (3 page)

Mom set her glass of wine
on the table and hurried over. Her heels clicked on the pavers and
I was positive the lace top she wore was mine. I was pretty sure
the pants were mine, too, and I made a mental note to put a lock on
my wardrobe. She wrapped her arms around me and we were lucky we
didn’t fall over when she teetered slightly to the left.

“
Here is my darling
daughter who spends every waking minute with her boyfriend and
never has any time for her mother anymore. To what do we owe the
pleasure of your company today?”

I slipped out of her
embrace and surreptitiously moved toward the crackers and dip
platter. I was ravenous. “I don’t spend every waking minute with
Leo. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“
Aren’t the boys at the
cabin this weekend writing songs?” asked a lady at the far end of
the table – Thomas’s mother. It was barely one o’clock and her face
glowed like Santa Claus’s, though in all fairness the garden
setting had lost its umbrella in a storm so it could have been
sunburn. Thomas’s mother went on to tell the group all about her
son’s plans to record a demo. One lady started dancing in her seat
only to be sternly told by Thomas’s mother that the boys didn’t
write pop songs.

“
What book are you
discussing this week?” I asked, changing the subject and shooting
my mother a look of defiance. “Or is the book club really an excuse
to bitch about men like I keep saying it is.”

Mom picked up a book from
the table and waved it in the air. “Hah, Miss Smarty Pants.
We
have
read a
book.”

She looked at the cover,
and her face froze. She quickly slipped the book behind her back.
Lunging, I easily snatched the book from her. On the cover was a
bare-chested man with a square jaw line and flowing dark hair.
Beneath him was draped a stunning woman wearing a bodice as
transparent as tissue paper. I opened a page and read
aloud:

“
Travis pulled her roughly
to him and he crushed her lips with his. She would submit or she
would lose everything. Selana beat her tiny hands against his chest
but nothing would sway him from this action. The King would want
Selana for himself if Travis did nothing to convince her to love
him and not his brother…”

I stopped reading and shot
derisive looks at each of the ladies sitting around the table. “I
don’t believe it. You moan and groan about men, and all this time
you’ve been reading trashy romance.”

“
It’s not trash,” cried
one woman. “It’s
The King’s
Wishes
.”

Laughter erupted once
more, probably over a joke I wasn’t in on, and I stood up. “I’ll
leave you bookworms to it, then.”

Mom caught me on my way
out and planted a kiss on my head. “Don’t be angry. We’re just
having a bit of fun.”

I kissed her on the cheek.
“I’m not angry.”

“
Liar. Are you all right?
You look a little pale.”

That was twice today
someone had told me I looked pale. “I’m fine.”

Mom frowned, suddenly all
serious. “You’re not really pining over Leo, are you? Please tell
me you’re not going to go up to your room and sulk just because
your boyfriend has gone away for a few days. That’s not how I
raised my daughter.”

“
Okay, I won’t tell
you.”

Up in my room, I did
exactly what my mother didn’t want me to do. I sulked because Leo
was up at Capers Cabin where there was no cell service, and as
Natalie had callously reminded me no girls were allowed either. In
the six months Leo and I had dated, there wasn’t a day where we
hadn’t talked either in person or by phone. Saturday afternoons
were usually spent hanging around Rock-A-Lilly’s, with music
blasting in the background and Leo fixing broken drumsticks and
guitar strings.

I realized I should have
taken Shanessa up on her offer to spend the afternoon at her house.
My room was too quiet. Turned out I’d gotten so used to doing stuff
with Leo that I didn’t know what to do without him. And I
desperately wanted to hear his voice, because earlier that morning
I’d finally gathered up the courage to take the pregnancy
test.

***

At 3:00 p.m., I heard my
mother’s voice in the garden calling for coffee orders. Even though
listening to music on my cell phone hadn’t lessened my boredom any,
I purposely avoided going downstairs in case Mom got it into her
head that I’d enjoy playing hostess to her intoxicated book club
friends.

By 5:00 p.m., I’d
relocated from my room, which overlooked the garden, to my mother’s
room, which overlooked the front yard, to watch the party wind up.
One by one her guests left until all the cars parked out front had
disappeared. At once, the house was eerily quiet. Mom stayed
downstairs and I guessed she was cleaning up. Once more I paced
from room to room like a caged bear in case Mom got it into her
head that I’d enjoy cleaning up after her intoxicated book club
friends.

Back in my room for the
hundredth time I picked up my cell phone and stared at it, silently
cursing Leo for so masterfully avoiding my growing anxiety. The
pregnancy test I’d taken earlier that morning indicated I was
pregnant. And I had no one to talk to about it. I’d sort of tried
talking to Mrs. Upton, hoping a complete stranger could provide
some insight into true and everlasting love, but that had
backfired. I couldn’t trust talking to Natalie, not after the one
time I’d skipped school to hang with Leo and she had inadvertently
blabbed. I couldn’t trust talking to Shanessa because she and
Natalie had formed a secret alliance when I’d started hanging out
with Leo, one I didn’t know about until Natalie had inadvertently
blabbed. And no way was I going to talk to my mom about the
subject. At all. Ever.

Night crept in and my
anxiety grew to enormous heights. I knew that if I was to get any
peace at all I’d need to go to the cabin and see Leo.

Mom sometimes liked to
curl up on the sofa and have the TV send her off to sleep, and a
quick check of her room told me she was still downstairs. Hopefully
she was asleep, and when I got down the stairs I saw she was. Out
of habit I did a quick inspection of the kitchen and the patio.
Good. All clean. I didn’t mind my mom having friends over, so long
as she cleaned up after herself.

I found the keys to her
Jeep on the side board, slipped a throw rug over her sleeping body,
a cloth over Elf’s cage, and left the house. I told myself that the
test might not even be accurate, but what if it was? Lately I’d had
trouble gauging Leo’s thoughts, and I really needed to know how he
felt about becoming a father. Before it became obvious,
preferably.

The drive to Capers Cabin
took twenty minutes. By the time I arrived it was fully dark and my
nerves were frayed beyond repair. I shouldn’t have driven in the
dark. Not that I could have driven in daylight either; I only had
my learners permit. Already I regretted coming here, and Mom would
make my regret eternal if she woke up and found the car
missing.

Sitting in the car should
have given me time to practice the imminent conversation with Leo
in my head, but it didn’t. The silence only served to give me the
creeps.

A few minutes later I
knocked on the cabin door, and scowled when Simon opened
it.

“
Oh, hi,” I said, trying
to hide my disappointment.

“
I’ll get Leo,” Simon
said. Then, after a shake of his head, he closed the door in my
face.

Leo opened the door
seconds later, but it was closed quickly behind him. I hadn’t been
inside the cabin before and I was peeved about not being invited;
Leo had told me the cabin had a hot tub and I was dying to check it
out.

“
Hey, babe. What’s up?” he
said.

Leo steered me away from
the front door toward the wooden love seat on the patio. With each
step I felt my bravado shrink, as if my heart pounding faster was
the cause.

Leo sat down and pulled me
onto his lap. His lips quickly found mine.

“
I’d love to stay out here
all night,” he said after we came up for breath. “But the guys are
probably counting the minutes.”

“
Oh.”

He titled his head to the
side. “What’s up, babe. You didn’t come all the way out here to
give me a goodnight kiss, though I’m glad you did.”

No longer sure about my
decision to demand he prove his undying love for me, I knew I had
to say something. But what?

“
I don’t want to end up
like Mrs. Upton,” I said.

“
Who’s Mrs.
Upton?”

I nestled into Leo’s arms,
struggling between telling him everything and telling him nothing.
Right here and now with Leo, that was all that mattered. Suddenly
all my problems, even the problems of the entire
world
were insignificant
when compared to this moment.

He nudged me. “Who’s Mrs.
Upton?”

“
She is a bitter, spiteful
old woman at the home. Her husband wanted kids and she refused to
give him any.”

Leo stroked my hair. “You
don’t know their situation, Ruby. Maybe she did the right
thing.”

I sat up. “Are you saying
you don’t want kids?”

He fidgeted beneath me. “I
don’t know. I guess. Maybe. Maybe not. I really don’t
know.”

As if he was on fire, I
jumped out of his arms. The unexpected anger rose and took control.
“So you
would
put
your career first?”

“
What career? Ruby, I’m
still in school.”

“
You really have no idea
what I’m talking about, do you? I’m talking about our future
together, Leo. You, me, you know, the future. Beyond Prom. Beyond
high school. Beyond college. Leo, how much do you love me. And I
mean really love me.”

Leo stood up. “Babe, now
isn’t the best time to have this discussion.”

“
I need to
know.”

“
You do know.”

Just then, Simon stuck his
head outside. “You coming inside or what?”

While Leo moved toward the
door, I barged past him and started down the steps.

Behind me, the floorboards
creaked. “Ruby, come back.”

I stopped on the bottom
step and grasped tightly onto the railing. As a mistress of the
furtive glance, I snuck a quick peek over my shoulder. With the
door now partially open, Leo was a shape on the porch silhouetted
by the glowing fire. Even immersed in shadows he captured my
breath. If I’d thought I was irate before, when I spied two dark
shapes skulking behind him – Simon and Thomas – my blood
boiled.

“
Fuck you, Leo. I deserve
better,” I hissed.

I launched myself off the
bottom steps and charged over to where I’d parked Mom’s car. Leo’s
hurrying footsteps crunched on the twigs and dried leaves. He
reached me and grabbed me by the arm, swinging me around to face
him.

“
Ruby, I didn’t mean
it.”

“
If you said it, you must
have meant it.”

His voice came out shrill.
“I don’t even know what I said.”

I kept my gaze on the
night sky. One smoldering look from him and I was likely to
surrender. Then the notion that I was just like the gullible
heroine in the books my mom read incited my rage
further.

“
What’s up, Little Red
Gem?” he said. “And tell me the truth.”

How unfair of him to
resort to pet names. My resolve broke; hysteria bubbled over and
escaped as a croaking sob. “You’d rather spend the rest of your
life with those two than with me.”

Leo ran his hands through
his hair. “I said no such thing. You’re putting words into my mouth
and I have no idea why you’re acting crazy all of a
sudden.”

“
I am not crazy.” I
stabbed a finger in his face. “Don’t you dare say I’m
crazy.”

His mouth widened, snapped
shut, and then it settled into a grim line. “Stop putting words
into my mouth. I didn’t say you’re crazy.” He shook his head and it
did the trick of softening his features. “Why don’t you come inside
and sit by the fire while we write songs?” He reached for me, but I
took a step back. “Babe, come on, you know you’re my
muse.”

The way frost crunches
under foot, my insides crusted over to warn me that Leo’s earlier
words and my mother’s years of warnings against falling in love
with the wrong man wouldn’t die so easily now that they were
planted and had taken root inside my head. I had believed that Leo
and I would be together forever. I still wanted to believe
it.

Badly. So why was I
running away?

I told myself to forget
about this silly argument and go inside the cabin with Leo. The
other boys might not like it, but I needed Leo more than they
did.

When I next blinked,
instead of picturing Leo’s eyes – deep pools of chocolate, warmer
than the flames hungrily licking the logs in the fire inside the
cabin – what I visualized was my mother sitting on the floor in
front of her closet, crying and sorting through the secret box of
Dad’s stuff she thought I was clueless about.