Little White Lies (12 page)

He ventured to ask, “If you don’t mind saying, why did you lose your job?”

“My boss retired and the man who took over decided he needed someone younger.  Much younger,” she added pointedly.

“He said that?”  Miranda exclaimed in disbelief.

“Not in so many words.  He said finances were tight and he needed to hire someone who was willing to take less pay.  When I offered to cut my salary, he stammered around and admitted he’d already put an ad in the paper.  I couldn’t help noticing the only women who got called back for a second interview were in their mid-twenties.”

Jack was quite amused by the look of outrage on Miranda’s face, but before she could say anything he looped his arm around her waist.  “Didn’t Devlin Shipping just open up an accounting position?”

Miranda blinked.  “Well…yes, but how did you know?”

His smile was indulgent.  “I know the boss personally.”

She laughed at her own silliness.  “It’s not my fault my mind is only half here, we’ve been shopping for hours.”  She opened her purse and pulled out a business card.  “I’m Holt Devlin’s personal assistant and this is his brother, Jack.  I think between the two of us, we can persuade him to give you an interview.  And you can trust me when I say he will only be interested in your job skills.”

Linda took the card with a grateful smile.  “I don’t know what to say,” she said a bit tearfully.  “First you give me what has to be the store’s biggest sale of the year, and then present me with the opportunity for a job at Devlin Shipping.  I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for your kindness.”

Jack gave Miranda a sidelong glance then winked at Linda.   “Just make sure our bed gets delivered tomorrow and I will be eternally in your debt.”

                        ***

She shouldn’t be thinking of Holt, not when she was lying in bed with Jack, but Miranda couldn’t seem to keep the events of the afternoon from rolling through her head, or from comparing the two Devlin brothers.  What Jack had done for Linda was so kind and thoughtful that she’d felt the sting of tears herself.  Holt would never have done something like that, not if his selfless act had to be doled out face to face. 

He was an extremely generous man, giving both his time and money to charities and educational scholarships, but only when he could do it anonymously.  It was almost as if it embarrassed him to let people know he had a heart.  But she knew. And if it hadn’t been for Jack, she might never have given up the hope that one day Holt would feel something for her.

It was hard to believe so much could have changed in such a short period of time, but she couldn’t have been happier with her decision to move in with Jack.  Understanding just how big of a commitment it was for him made it easier to accept that he hadn’t told her he loved her, though she longed to hear the words.  In that respect, Holt and Jack were very much alike because neither of them seemed capable of expressing their feelings verbally.  Based on her brief conversation with Jack about his parents, she could hardly blame either of them for keeping a wall around their hearts, but that didn’t stop her from wishing she could somehow penetrate it and free them both.

Miranda rolled onto her back, disturbed by her train of thought.  Why should she care if Holt hid his feelings from the world?  Shouldn’t she only be concerned with getting Jack to communicate better?  After all, Jack was the one who had pushed aside his own doubts and fears about relationships because of his desire to be with her.  She wanted desperately for that to be enough, but deep down inside she knew no matter what Jack did, no matter how wonderful he was, he would never be able to have the part of her heart that belonged to Holt.  Jack didn’t deserve a love that wasn’t one hundred percent his, and Miranda swore to herself that she would do everything in her power to keep him from finding out.

“Whassa matter,” Jack mumbled groggily, “can’t sleep?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Pulling her back into his arms, it didn’t take two seconds to recognize how tense she was.  “Talk to me, honey.  What’s bothering you?”

“It’s nothing, just a case of insomnia.”

“You’re not a very good liar, Miranda.  Is it Holt?”  The sudden rigidness of her back and shoulders was all the answer he needed.  “I told you, there’s nothing to worry about.  I promise he wasn’t angry with you at the party. He was just caught off guard by how incredible you looked.”

Miranda held back the sigh of relief.  For a moment she thought he’d somehow known what she was thinking.  “It’s just that he has always respected me, you know?  I don’t want that to change and really don’t think I could stand it if he looked at me again the way he did that night.”

Jack closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the sudden realization that Miranda’s concern was more than just the fear of losing the respect of her boss.  He’d had his suspicions, and now he had his confirmation.  How long had she had these feelings, and how had she managed to keep them hidden?  He never would have pursued a relationship with her if he’d known, but saying he’d changed his mind about moving in together would hurt her. He just couldn’t bring himself to do that. 

No, he would have to come up with some other way to separate himself from Miranda without her realizing what he was doing.  Then she would be free to develop a relationship with the man she really loved, the man who had been too blind to see he’d had her heart long before Jack Devlin stepped into the picture.

“Everything will be fine,” he whispered.  “Now give me a kiss and try to get some sleep.”

Snuggled in the comfort of his arms, Miranda could almost believe it.  “Jack?”

“Yeah, honey.”

“I’d rather not tell Holt about us right now if that’s okay with you.”

“You think he’ll have a problem with it?”

“I doubt it.  I mean, it’s not as if he’s ever shown any interest in my personal life before.  It’s just that I don’t want him thinking about us…together.”

Jack laughed softly.  “What you mean is, you don’t want him to visualize us in bed together.”

“I know it sounds silly but…”

“It embarrasses you?”

“No!  Oh, Jack, I didn’t mean for you to think that at all.  It’s just so…intimate and special what happens between us. I want to keep it all to myself for a while longer.”

“Then it will be our little secret for now.”

He kissed her good-night but sleep eluded him.  He could have handled it if she’d agreed it was embarrassing because it would have substantiated his belief that what she felt for him was just misplaced affection.  But for Miranda to say what they shared was so special she wanted to keep it to herself meant she was confused. 

Was it possible she loved them both?  Good God, this was getting complicated.  Of course, she was falling in love with him. Hadn’t he done just about everything he could to instill those deep emotions in her?  Now there was only one way out of this as far as he could see; she had to choose.  Jack could only pray the choice Miranda made was the right one.  

                        ***

Miranda forced herself to wait until eight-thirty before rising from her desk with pen and pad and heading towards Holt’s office.  What she’d really wanted to do was go in and get it over with as soon as she arrived but had talked herself out of it.  For all she knew, Holt had forgotten all about it. And if that was the case, she would only upset the apple cart by going in earlier than normal.  So she’d waited. 

Checking to make sure her hair was securely pinned, Miranda had just a fraction of a second to regret wearing one of her new outfits before stepping inside.  A cursory glance from Holt relieved her trepidation; obviously he’d taken no notice of what she was wearing.  Crossing the room with a little more confidence, she took her seat in front of his desk as usual.

After a few tense moments, he handed her the mail then proceeded to dictate several letters.  When that was done, he gave her a list of files he needed, asked to her handle a few shipping issues he didn’t have time for, and informed her there was a new client in Texas he would have to fly out to meet in two weeks.  She jotted down the name of the client and what information she would need to gather for his meeting, and was just beginning to believe everything would go back to normal when he rose from his desk and came around to stand beside her.

“Book two hotel rooms for the trip to Corpus Christi and make sure they’re adjoining.”

Ignoring the pang of jealousy, Miranda kept her pen poised over the pad.  “Shall I make the reservations for both rooms in your name or will your…companion be registered under her own name?”

“Register us under separate names, it will be easier for bookkeeping to establish that it’s business related.”

The air froze in her lungs.  Had she understood him correctly?  “You want
me
to accompany you?”

“Of course, who did you think I was taking?”

He sounded amused, which only served to embarrass her.  He knew exactly what she’d been thinking, especially since he had requested adjoining rooms.  Even worse, she was riddled with guilt for feeling jealous when she had no right to be and silently begged for Jack’s forgiveness.  Knowing Holt was waiting for a response, she steadied her nerves and lifted her eyes to his.

“I thought you might be taking someone from marketing.”

“No, I’ll need you there to take notes at the meetings and make sure the contracts are in order.  We’ll be gone for five days, is that a problem for you?”

“I…no, not at all.” 

She looked back down at her pad, her mind in utter turmoil.  A week of being with Holt away from the office would have sounded wonderful before she’d gotten involved with Jack. Now she was torn. The love and longing for Holt that she’d buried beneath her feelings for Jack had suddenly revived. There was a part of her that still clung to the hope Holt would return her love, but there was also a part of her that felt panic-stricken at the thought of losing Jack. Miranda’s thoughts shocked her.  What in the world was wrong with her that she could entertain fantasies about Holt when she felt so strongly about Jack? 

“I’m disappointed in you, Miranda.”

Jolted by the notion he knew what she was thinking, her head snapped up.  “What?”

Holt leaned down and scooped the mail and notepad from her lap and deposited them on his desk.  After plucking the pen from her shaky fingers and dropping it on the pile of papers, he took her hand and drew Miranda to her feet.  Her eyes were wide and her breath shallow, but it wasn’t from fear.  Reaching behind her head, he deftly pulled the obnoxious clip from her hair and tossed it on his desk then sifted his fingers through the heavy tresses before moving his hands to her shoulders.  She was trembling from head to toe, but he noted with a great deal of satisfaction that she didn’t try to move away from him.

“It looked so lovely when you wore it down at the party.  I thought you would start wearing it that way from now on.”  Her lips parted as if to speak but she merely nodded, those jade green eyes of hers driving him crazy with desire.  “I was hurt that you didn’t stick around long enough to have at least one dance with me.”  His hands skimmed down her arms then moved to rest lightly on the gentle slope of her hips.  “And I was even more upset that you weren’t there to ring in the New Year with me.”

“But…you left too,” she said weakly.  “I came back and you were gone.”

His hands slipped around her waist.  “Were you hoping I would be there?”

She swallowed hard, her heart beating out a rapid tempo.  She should lie and say no.  “Yes,” she whispered.

“And what were you hoping would happen, Miranda?”

“Nothing!  I just wanted to…to wish you a Happy New Year.”

He pulled her closer.  “Really?  Because I think you wanted me to kiss you when that clock stroked midnight.”

Miranda shook her head in protest.  Oh, why was he doing this to her now when she’d already promised herself to Jack?  She couldn’t let this happen, she told herself.  She pressed her palms to his chest, fully intending to push him away.  But the moment she touched him, Miranda knew what a horrible mistake she’d made. A warm, tingling sensation began to coil deep in her abdomen.  She’d wanted this for so long, yet even as her body leaned into him, her mind screamed that it was wrong.

“Miranda,” he said on a sigh as he lowered his mouth to hers.

Fire raged through her veins, scorching her, torturing her with its intense heat.  Oh, yes, she’d wanted this, and now that it was happening she was powerless to stop it.  Strong arms crushed her against his chest as the kiss deepened and consumed her very soul.  The endless months and years of longing for Holt were finally avenged by this moment of passion, and every aching emotion she’d ever had for him was unleashed in that one single kiss. 

Slowly, he inched her back towards the sofa and eased her down onto the cushions. A soft moan caught and held in her throat when he pressed his hips into her.  He was incredibly aroused, and even the knowledge that someone could come to the door at any second didn’t diminish the desire to feel him moving inside of her.