Living Again (26 page)

Kayley sniffled over Amber’s shoulder, squeezing her sister in-law tightly. “Amber, thank you. I love all of you too. You’re always part of my family, too. And thank you for your blessing. It really means a lot.” She pulled back from Amber and wiped her face. “And I said no tears, damn it.” The two laughed as Adam hugged Kayley as well. Even though Amber resembled the Carson family, seeing Adam was like a punch in the gut. He looked so much like Alex it was uncanny.

“You guys take care,” Kayley said, watching as they walked to the car. She shut the front door behind them, walking back into the house that had once been hers and Alex’s but was now just hers. She had officially rid the house of everything that once symbolized their life together.

“It looks so different,” she murmured, walking from room to room.

“Clean slate,” Rachel said from behind her. “Time to see where your life is going to head now.”

“I have a pretty good idea,” Emily piped in, holding out a drink to Kayley. “Let’s have a toast, shall we? To friends, saying goodbye, and to kick ass doctors that are super, super steamy.”

“Yummy,” Rachel corrected, holding up her glass.

Kayley giggled, holding up her glass and clinking it to her two crazy friends’ glasses. “You two are insane, but I love you for it.”

Ben walked through the grocery store, whistling softly to himself. He looked at the recipe on his phone and then looked into the cart.
Only a few more things to go.
He stopped in the bakery, selecting a chocolate dessert that looked like something they could enjoy.

He couldn’t believe things were going as well as they were. Over the past two months since he had braved telling Kayley his story and she had felt strong enough to pack up Alex’s things, their relationship moved easily past the beginning stage into what Ben could only describe as awesome. They spent much of their time together, which really wasn’t all that much seeing as how they both had demanding jobs, and there was little Alexis too of course. But the times he got to see Kayley were the best times of his week.

Alexis. Just thinking of that little girl made him grin from ear to ear. She was certainly the light of his life. They were two peas in a pod, and if he was nearby, you could bet that Alexis was there as well. She was getting bigger, now officially in a toddler bed after the night she scared her mother to death and fell out of her crib. At eighteen months old, she was talking in full sentences and had even started showing interest in using the potty.

Who would’ve thought I’d be thinking about a little girl and potty training
, Ben thought. It was amazing, how much his life had changed in the last six months since laying eyes on Kayley and Alexis. After the devastating blow that Zoey had inflicted on his life, he thought he would never feel this way again.

Tonight, Kayley was coming to his house and he was making her dinner. Alexis was spending the night with her grandparents, and Ben planned on making this a memorable night for both of them. He and Kayley had an amazing chemistry with each other, and found it very difficult to not touch one another if they were nearby. However, Kayley hadn’t wanted to go farther than just playing around because of Alexis. He respected that about her, and knew that she was right. Being in her house, with her daughter asleep down the hall just seemed inappropriate. Though that didn’t stop him from sleeping there with her as often as she would let him, and he loved waking up to Alexis’ sweet face.

The few times she had been to his place, she had brought Alexis with her, so they had never stayed there overnight. Tonight, however, that all would change. After two official months of dating, Ben asked Kayley to come stay the night at his house. He figured it would be easier for her too, not having the memories of her former husband around.

He wheeled his cart to the checkout, wanting to skip through the store. The cashier eyed him, then smiled, a suggestive look in her eye. This was something he was used to- it wasn’t that he was being vain, it was just the facts. However, he had no eyes for anyone else these days but a blonde haired, green eyed beauty with a mini-me.

“Do you think tonight is it?” Emily asked, watching Kayley browse aimlessly, picking up and putting down several choices. Kayley turned to her and shushed her, then continued looking. “What?” she lowered her voice, trying to get Kayley to admit it.

“Emily,” Kayley’s voice warned. “Don’t make me regret inviting you.”

Emily picked up another selection. “This is pretty, Kay. Classy.”

She took it from Emily and turned it around, her face pensive. “What am I doing here?” She slammed the pink one back on the rack and started heading for the door.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Emily chased after Kayley, catching her and pulling her around to face her. “What’s this really about? What’s going through your head? Talk.”

Kayley looked around the store, not wanting to look at Emily. “I-I don’t know, Em. I feel, ridiculous being here. Like I’m planning-”

“To show your boyfriend how much you love him?” Emily whispered. “Come on. It’s okay. I’m actually surprised you two have waited this long. There’s no reason for you to be embarrassed. Is this about A-?”

“No,” Kayley interrupted her. She shook her head. “I don’t know what my problem is.” She walked back to the pink one that Emily had held up and eyed it again. “I’m a grown woman. This isn’t a big deal.” She checked the tag for size and then turned, smiling at Emily.

“I think this is it,” she laughed. Her stomach felt like a lead was in the bottom of it, and her mind raced. Was she really doing this?

Emily raised her eyebrow at Kayley. “Girl, you’re starting to scare me. Freaking out, talking to yourself, then laughing. You’re either becoming bipolar on me, or you’re ridiculously nervous about something. Which one could that be?”

Kayley walked to the register and paid for her item, Emily following behind her. They got back into Kayley’s car and she turned to Emily. “I am incredibly nervous. I’m not sure what Ben expects tonight. I know he set this whole thing up, even including my mom to keep Alexis, so I can only assume that it’s a natural step to take.”

“Uh, no offense girl, but haven’t you guys been, well, pretty close to this already? It isn’t like you have never touched the man. And, Ben has always been, and I’m sure will continue to be, very patient and understanding. He isn’t going to do something that you aren’t ready for.”

Kayley nodded. “Oh yes. We enjoy our private time together. But this- it isn’t just sex, Em. You know that. Neither of us are in this for just a physical relationship. Crossing this line, it just seems like it makes things so much more real.”

“Are you ready for things to be real?” Emily asked.

That, thought Kayley, was the million dollar question.

Ben stirred the spaghetti, then lay the spoon on the counter. The chicken was sizzling in the frying pan. He turned down the heat and flipped the breasts over. The mushrooms and the wine sauce made the kitchen smell divine.

He checked the time on the oven clock. She should be here any moment. He wiped his hands nervously on his apron and checked the garlic bread in the oven. He felt like a high-schooler going to his first prom. What was wrong with him? This was Kayley.
The love of your life¸
he thought, then gasped. The love of his life? Had he just thought that?

He braced his hands on the counter and smiled at how easily that thought popped into his head. He loved her. She was it for him. The love of his life. He knew now that even though he had been completely devastated by Zoey, he had never really loved her. Not this way. Kayley and Alexis consumed his every thought, his every decision. He loved her.

Would she be ready to hear that? They had come a long way in the past two months, but there were times she was still very hesitant, still holding a part of herself back, afraid to be loved. She wouldn’t admit it, but he could see it. She would still get a faraway look in her eye when she didn’t think he was looking. He wanted to tell her tonight, to put to rest any fears she had left of their relationship. He wanted everything about her life, including her precious little girl. She had called him Daddy Ben a few more times, never in front of Kayley, and while he knew he should tell her, he just loved the little secret that he and Alexis shared.

The doorbell chimed, and Ben turned the burners on warm and wiped his hands. He couldn’t stop the grin from spreading on his face as he reached for the door handle. Not only was he going to tell her that he loved her tonight, he was going to show her, in every way.

Kayley’s breath caught as Ben opened the door, a huge Cheshire cat grin on his face. He looked amazing, as always in a pair of jeans and a button down shirt. He was wearing an apron too, which made her giggle and turned her on all at the same time.

“Well, well, well,” she drawled, looping her finger through the apron and pulling him to her. “Isn’t this nice.” She pressed a kiss to his lips and he dragged her into the house, shutting the door behind her and pressing her against it.

“Why, yes it is,” Ben said against her lips. “I very much like that dress you’re wearing, too.”

Ben moved his lips from her mouth to her neck, kissing hot paths up and down. Kayley squirmed, unable to stop the moan from escaping her mouth. His mouth found hers again as his hands explored the beautiful body beneath the dress.

“This. May. Be. The. Best. Dress. Ever.” Ben kissed her in between words, running his hands up her silky legs. Her body ignited, feeling like fire was touching her everywhere. Her hands touched him everywhere, unable to stop and rest for more than a few seconds. She kissed him with all of the nervousness, excitement, and passion she had built up in her mind.

His tongue explored her mouth, sucking, pulling, and teasing her until she could barely stand. His one hand cupped her breast while the other wove through her hair, pulling her head back so he could have access to her neck again.

“Kayley,” Ben breathed, feeling himself going out of control. He wanted this whole night to be perfect for her, and he was pretty sure that making love to her against a door wasn’t it. “Are you ready to eat?”