Living Backwards (9 page)

I didn’t feel like arguing with Danielle, so I walked with her to the cafeteria. She was detailing some complicated plan that involved notes in Jillian’s locker when we got there. I wasn’t really listening, but the parts that managed to sink in were damn near comical. I don’t write poetry. Before I needed to comment on her asinine plan, I spotted Josh sitting at a table with Nate Barrett.

“Luke,” he greeted. “What are you doing here? I didn’t even know you had this lunch.”

“I usually eat earlier, but I got tied up today,” I began, not wanting to admit why I had come. Danielle slid into the same seat Josh was in, which didn’t make sense because there were chairs everywhere.

“Well, grab a seat,” he replied. “Nate was just telling me about the training program they have at FSU.”

“So you’re headed to Florida?” I asked pulling out the chair across from Nate.

“Looks like it,” he replied with a sigh. He didn’t seem overly enthusiastic. “My dad’s an alum. It’s always been a dream of his for me to go there, and they have an amazing football program.”

“My mom got kind of crazy when I started applying, too,” Josh added rolling his eyes. “She didn’t want me to move away. She didn’t want me pre-law. She didn’t want me on the east coast. She had
lots
of opinions.”

“So what did you do?” Nate asked.

“Well,” he replied looking at Danielle. “I’m pre-law at Fordham next year while my little lady here is at NYU.” Danielle leaned in and kissed the Poor Bastard’s nose. Nate still looked deep in thought.

“Where did you want to go?” I asked.

“Florida’s awesome, really,” he began shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

“But…” I interrupted trying to get him to talk.

“Well, my granddad was a big college football fan. I would watch the games with him on Saturday afternoons, and I knew all the fight songs. But it was when I watched that movie
Rudy
that I started thinking about Notre Dame.”

I suddenly felt very sorry for him. He just looked so damn sad. As much as I hated disappointing Grace and Carter, I didn’t think I could make that big of a concession for them. Honestly, they would never have put me in that position.

“Did you apply?” Danielle asked.

“Yeah,” he replied, staring down at the straw in his drink. “I didn’t tell my dad, but I had to at least know if I’d get in.”

“So?” she coaxed.

“Yeah, I got in. But it doesn’t matter,” he replied brushing it off. “FSU has a great program, and who wouldn’t want to spend four years in Florida instead of South Bend? What the hell do they do out there anyway?”

“Florida does sound fantastic,” Danielle agreed.

“I don’t want to pry, Nate,” Josh added hesitantly, “but I think you’re making a big mistake. Especially if Notre Dame is your dream school.”

“You need to talk to your old man,” I added. I barely knew Nate, but I couldn’t stop myself from chiming in. If I had the opportunity to go to Notre Dame, I sure as hell wouldn’t let anything get in my way.

He was about to respond when Megan collapsed into the chair next to me looking pissed. I looked up and saw Jillian standing at the head of the table. She avoided eye contact with me, and it made me uneasy again.

When Danielle asked Megan why she was pouting, she launched into a crazy explanation involving Fantasy Football and the draft. Right away I recognized the look on Nate’s face. It was the same one I saw when Megan bent over the hood of Jillian’s car in Scanlon’s class. He had it bad. It was when Nate started to challenge Megan to some kind of a race after school that Josh leaned over to me.

“Twenty says she gets his pants around his ankles before prom,” he whispered so Danielle couldn’t hear. The prom was in less than a week. Despite the angry sex that was brewing between the two, I’d give them a little more time.

“You got it. I’ll give them until graduation,” I countered extending my hand.

Before I knew it, Megan was strutting out of the cafeteria with Danielle and Jillian in tow. Nate’s eyes were trained on her as she left.

“One of you jackasses could have stopped me before I stuck my foot in my mouth,” he complained.

“And interrupt that?” Josh replied with a smirk. “You’re going down, Chambers,” he whispered.

It was pretty funny seeing Nate so flustered. Jillian had been right. It wasn’t something I would’ve wanted to miss. I turned back to the door of the cafeteria and caught sight of her. She had been watching me, and I didn’t look away when our eyes met even though I knew I should. I wondered if I was as transparent as Nate.

Looking at my watch, I realized I had a few minutes before I needed to be in class so I headed out back for a quick smoke. I sunk down on the milk crate and leaned back finally feeling calm. Despite Danielle’s intensity, I liked hanging out with Josh and Nate. I could almost envision us all in Danielle’s “perfect” limo heading to the prom. Jillian would naturally be passing around her flask because we wouldn’t be able to make it through the evening without a few shots. Megan and Nate would probably be arm wrestling or whatever it was they’d do to get off. Josh, the Poor Bastard, would be wearing his top hat. And Danielle would be loving it because I had finally caved.

But, again, it didn’t matter. Jillian didn’t want me to ask her. I almost wished she had never brought it up.

Heading to chemistry, I noticed a commotion in the hallway. Jillian was dashing towards me. She looked like she was about to cry. I grabbed her arm as she passed by me, and noticed her eyes were welling up and her face was flushed. If Wakefield was bothering her again I’d kill him. Her lip started to quiver, and I began envisioning all of the gruesome things I could do to him to make him pay.

She started to stammer through her tears. It was at least a relief that Wakefield wasn’t harassing her again, but I couldn’t understand what her flask had to do with anything. When she explained that Mrs. Jacobs confiscated it, and she was given detention, I realized why she had been all worked up. Detention wasn’t a big deal, and we could get another flask if that’s what she needed.

She stopped crying, but her eyes were still red and a few pieces of her hair hung loosely around her face. I hated seeing her this way. Without thinking first, I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and she smiled, blinking up at me through wet lashes. I was probably grinning back at her like an idiot, but I didn’t care.

I made a point to get to Mrs. Dupont’s for detention early. I wanted to be in the room before she got there so she wouldn’t get too freaked out. You never knew who was going to show up. I scanned the class and saw Lester carving up the desk again. Anne-Marie and Jon were about to screw on a desk in the back, and Cody was zoned out as usual. Pretty mild crowd.

When Jillian arrived, she peered into the room with wide eyes. Anne-Marie picked that moment to moan behind me. Jon had his hand up her shirt. When Jillian looked my way, I motioned her over. She was damn lucky that flask was empty or her parents would have been getting a really unpleasant phone call from Mrs. Jacobs, and she’d be getting a three-day suspension.

I was relieved when Mrs. Dupont arrived and told us to take out our homework. I needed to distract myself or I wouldn’t be able to stand up without physically declaring that I had been thinking about Jillian all day. I grabbed my chemistry report and read the same paragraph three times. To someone watching, it might have looked like I was engrossed in the most interesting thing I’d ever read, while in reality I was thinking about the drawer in Mrs. Jacobs’ room where she kept confiscated lighters and cigarettes. I had lost many packs and a few lighters to that drawer. She kept it locked and always had the keys on her. If I could swipe the keys, I would be able to grab the flask. I just needed to do it without throwing any suspicion on Jillian.

I considered going to her class and pretending that I needed help with trig, but I didn’t know how I could get her to leave me alone with the keys. And honestly, the idea of doing extra work in trig was really unappealing. I needed to get her out of the building.

The plan came to me pretty quickly. I was taking a really big chance, but once I fleshed out the idea, I knew I was going to do it. I ripped out a sheet from my notebook and scribbled a quick note to Jillian because I needed her to leave with everyone else. As silly as it sounded, she needed an alibi. I crumpled up the paper and dropped it on the floor between us. When I motioned for her to pick it up, she looked at me like I had two heads. I didn’t want to stick around and answer questions, and I definitely didn’t want to lose my nerve so I marched up to Mrs. Dupont and asked to use the john. She shot me a look that told me she’d rather say no, but agreed to let me leave.

I needed to move fast so I jogged right over to the gym locker rooms. I knew there’d be team practices and people milling around that might see me, but it was the only way to avoid suspicion. If an alarm was pulled in the building, it would obviously incriminate me. With all of the practices and people using the weight room, they’d never be able to narrow it down. I just needed to move fast.

I was surprised to find the hallway outside of the locker room empty. Looking from side to side, I quickly grabbed the fire alarm on the wall and pulled the handle down. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t always wanted to do this. Once the deafening sound rang out, I bolted back down the hall through the school. I watched around the corner as a frazzled Dupont ushered the detention class out of the building.

I quietly crept into Mrs. Jacobs’ empty room, closing the door behind me. If worse came to worse, I could probably pick the lock. But as I had hoped when I inspected her desk, I found the she left quickly without locking her drawers. Inside the top drawer was the jackpot of illegal items: cigarettes, bongs, matches, rubbers, some cool lighters and one pink sparkly flask named Joan. While I was tempted to empty the contents into my rucksack, I tried to focus and grabbed the flask. But I couldn’t resist snagging a black lighter with red and orange flames. I deserved a little reward.

I checked the hallway, making sure no one was around and walked calmly out of the school through the side door on the opposite side of the gym. When I ran into Mrs. Dupont over by the track, she was alone.

“Mr. Chambers,” she said eying me suspiciously. “Where have you been?”

“I heard the fire alarm when I was in the john,” I replied casually. “I was busy.”

Her scowl softened slightly.

“I dismissed the class, Mr. Chambers,” she sneered. “I trust that you’ll be able to keep your temper in check going forward so I won’t have you in detention next week, as well.”

“Of course, Mrs. Dupont,” I replied remembering Scanlon’s plea for me to be nice. I turned and left before I changed my mind. I needed to find Jillian.

As I passed the track, I saw a half-dressed Megan running along with a shirtless Nate.
Jesus, I’m going to lose that goddamn bet.
I scanned the stands and saw Jillian leaning against the railing talking to Josh and Danielle. I was suddenly really nervous. The gravity of what I had done hit me. I pulled a fire alarm for her. I evacuated a school. I should just serenade her like John-Freaking-Cusack while I’m at it. I slowly climbed the stairs feeling their eyes on me as I got closer.

“Luke,” Danielle greeted with that smug little smirk. She could see right through me and it pissed me off. I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction so I remained as casual as possible.

“You know, detention was going to be over in another ten minutes,” Jillian teased. “You didn’t have to go to such extreme measures to spring us.”

I couldn’t help but smile. She had no idea what I had done. I dug into my pocket and threw the flask over at her. She stared at it stunned before looking up at me wildly.

“I went back after everyone was gone. She left her desk unlocked. Scored a cool lighter,” I replied, impressed with my ability to act like the whole thing was no big deal. I had managed to remain composed until she threw her arms around my neck and pressed herself against me. My body immediately reacted remembering Dream Jillian.

I was terrified to move and found myself frozen in place with no idea of what to do. Taking a breath, I pushed the memory of the dream out of my head and settled my hands softly on her hips. Keeping it casual.

“Sorry,” she began nervously, “I didn’t mean to attack you. I just can’t believe you did this.”

“All in a day’s work, Cross,” I replied trying to hide my discomfort. I knew I was screwed if I had to spend the day with her alone tomorrow. We had an hour ride to Tacoma and an hour back home. It was going to be a disaster. “I’m taking off,” I said knowing I just needed to leave and clear my head. “Meet me here tomorrow at noon?”

“Absolutely,” she said as I turned and walked back down the steps.

Away from the chaos of school, I started to obsess over how crazy my life had gotten. A little over a week ago, I had daydreamed of coeds and body shots and the start of my new life. Last Friday, I was consumed with the need to forge my own path—earning instead of taking. Friday afternoon, I heard her voice for the first time and thought she was ridiculous. On Monday, my knuckles throbbed because I laid into Wakefield for screwing with her. On Tuesday, she wore a really tight pair of jeans and I saw the slightest hint of crisp, white lacy panties when she bent over on the milk crate. On Wednesday, she tried to tell me that Green Day embodied the social conscience of our generation when all I could think of was their song about jerking off. On Thursday, when I told her about getting a job at Jonas’s, she made me promise to teach her how to mix dirty drinks when she came home for break. On Friday, I pulled a goddamn fire alarm so that I could swipe her flask from Jacobs’ desk. And all I can think about is Jillian with her red lips and shirt.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt hung over from the lack of sleep. My eyes burned, my body ached and I knew I was going to need a few extra minutes in the shower to remedy one particular problem.

After an extra long shower and two helpings of Grace’s pesto scrambled eggs, I felt refreshed. I climbed into the Lexus and drove to school wondering what craziness she was going to unleash on me today. As I turned into the lot, my heart stopped and my dick hardened again. Leaning against her car looking hot as all hell was Jillian wearing a tight red shirt and smiling at me with shiny red lips.