Liz Ireland (15 page)

His head pounded. He couldn’t speak. Anger roiled in him, especially when he heard his mother next to him, humming as she poured out two cups of tea. Humming! Because she was happy that he had just been duped. In fact, she’d encouraged Ellie!

At the sound of a cup rattling toward his back, he stiffened, then pivoted on his heel.

His mother’s eyes widened. “Aren’t you going to have your tea?”

His jaw clenched so tightly he was afraid he would grind his teeth down to dust. His voice came out as a bare rasp. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Her face fell. “Is something wrong, Roy?”

He wasn’t going to cry on Isabel’s shoulder about this, that was for damned sure. He wasn’t going to cry, period. He wasn’t such a damned fool that he didn’t know a bit of luck when he saw it. Isabel and her little revelation had just saved him from attaching himself to a scheming woman.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he said stonily. “I’m just eager to get back to the ranch. To talk to Eleanor.”

“Oh, don’t forget this!” She pulled the ring off her pinkie finger and turned to drop it in its little box. When she handed it to him, her brow was furrowed. “Are you sure you won’t stay and take something to drink? You look feverish.”

He stuffed the box into his pocket. “No, it’s important that I go now.”

In fact, he had to hold himself from hitting the door running. Gathering his wounded pride around him like a second coat, he said good-night to his mother and strode quickly down the sidewalk. The sound of
his boot heels against the pine planks echoed in his ears.
Deceived. Deceived. Deceived.

So much for being a changed man!

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman so happy.”

“That’s because there never was one.” Ellie grinned at Parker, hesitant to bring up a taboo subject. She decided to throw caution to the wind. “You must feel pretty good yourself, knowing that Roy isn’t in love with Clara Trilby.”

A slight smile tipped at his lips. “I’ll admit I was worried. My mother had me convinced that wedding bells were ringing.”

Ellie laughed. “Appearances can be deceiving—thank heavens!”

He nodded. “You know what the most amazing thing is? I’ve never seen
Roy
so happy, Ellie.”

That observation meant all the world to her. More than her own happiness, even, she wanted good things for Roy.

And she was going to make those good things happen. Starting now. She had her sleeves rolled up over a steaming laundry tub in the kitchen, filled with his clothes. She was going to show him that she was someone who could work hard and stick by him through thick and thin. She was going to show him….

That she loved him. Every time she thought about it—and about the miracle of his loving her back—she felt her body go as limp as one of her overcooked dumplings.

Parker laughed. “You’re both a sight.”

She felt like dancing, but instead concentrated on scrubbing an old work shirt against the washboard. “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if feeling like this could go on and on?” she mused. “It’s like being lost in a good story—only it’s real.”

He stretched out his legs, leaned back, and gazed at her long and hard. “You mean you don’t think your story will have a happy ending?”

“Oh, it’s not that!” She shook her head, chuckling. As long as she could share her life with Roy, she would be happy. “It’s just that there are always a few bad days, little bumps on the road, trials no one foresees.”

He nodded. “Sometimes we create those bumps ourselves.”

Some brittle undertone in his words made her straighten up warily. His blue eyes pierced right through her, right down to her soul, and she felt her stomach flop. “What do you mean?”

He cleared his throat. “I haven’t wanted to say anything, seeing how happy you two were, but before Roy gets back, I wanted to ask you.”

“Ask me what?”

“When you’re going to tell him.”

She relaxed slightly. “About the baby? We’ve talked about that. He said days and days ago that he knew about it—that you all knew from the very beginning. I felt like such a fool, but you all have been so kind, so circumspect…”

He shook his head. “Not the baby, Ellie. You. When are you going to tell him about you?”

Her mouth felt as if she’d swallowed a sand dune. “You mean…?”

His head jerked in a curt nod. “I mean telling him you’re not a lady.”

“But…” Her neck and cheeks were aflame with embarrassment. And shame. “How long have you known?”

He tilted his head. “I’ve had my suspicions. Things here and there that you would do—calling one of us “sir,” for instance. Or the fact that your clothes had
crooked seams, as though you’d made them yourself.” He nodded toward the washtub. “And that you sometimes pick up things like doing the wash instinctively, as if you’ve watched a lot of housework being done in your time.”

“I…” She hardly knew where to begin. “Why didn’t you say something?”

He chuckled gently. “I didn’t mind, for myself. I got a kick out of wondering how long you could keep it up. Heck, I might never have mentioned it…except for Roy.”

She felt stricken.

“You
were
going to tell him, weren’t you?”

She frowned. “Yes, of course—except to be perfectly honest, I haven’t been exactly keeping up appearances lately. That is, I haven’t been putting on an act with Roy, if that’s what you mean. I’ve become so comfortable here, most of the time I forget all about pretending to be a rich lady.”

“So you think he’s come to love the real Ellie Fitzsimmons?”

The thought of that not being the case made her quake with fear. “Of course! Don’t you?”

He nodded. “I don’t think he’s marrying you for your nonexistent fortune.”

No, Roy wouldn’t do that. Even if she had been rich, she knew that would make no difference to him. “He’s honorable to a fault. That’s part of why…”

He smiled, almost pityingly. “You love him?”

She lifted her chin. “Yes.”

“And you don’t think a man who’s honorable to a fault will look askance at your having lied?”

Now that she saw how it must look when she did confess, she was mortified, ashamed. “But I swear, my having no money—”

“It’s not the money,” Parker said, interrupting
firmly. “It’s the fact that I suspect there was never a Mr. Fitzsimmons, was there?”

Oh lord. This was it then; her tarnished reputation had chased her all the way across the country. Her face burned, and she shook her head and admitted in a barely audible voice, “No.”

“Your baby is fatherless.”

The words were like a punch to the gut, and just as she’d wanted to argue with Mrs. Sternhagen months ago, she felt the same reflexive anger kick in now. But she couldn’t yell at Parker, either, because, in terms of what society thought, he was correct. Her baby would be illegitimate.

How she hated that word! How could anyone she cared about so much be dismissed so derisively, so callously? Her feelings for this baby weren’t illegitimate. His or her life would be just as long, just as full of challenges and hardship and joy as the child of the most respectable couple in the country. Why couldn’t the rest of the world accept a child into their midst without blaming it for the fault of its mother?

She sighed. Her efforts to shield her child from stigma had brought her to Nebraska, had made her lie to the very people who were offering her their hospitality. And now, because of her lies, she had failed her child in her first endeavor to protect it.

“I’m sorry,” she said, but she wasn’t sure she was speaking to Parker or to the young life stirring inside her.

“I’m sure you intended no harm,” Parker said. “I don’t think you have a mean bone in your body. But as much as I like you, Ellie, I can’t stand idly by while my brother is taken in by a lie.”

“No of course not,” she said. “I’m sure I would feel the same way. I’ll tell Roy the moment I see him.”

“Tell me what?”

Ellie whirled toward the door, startled by Roy’s deep voice. “Roy!”

Caught in his thunderous gaze she could tell that something was very, very wrong. “When did you get back?”

He stood smack in the center of the doorway, his arms folded. “Just now.”

Her heart sank. He wasn’t looking at her hungrily…except maybe with the gleeful hunger of a cat about to toy with a mouse.

“Sounds like you two were having a cozy little discussion here,” Roy observed, looking from Parker to Ellie with exaggerated interest.

Parker smiled as if there wasn’t anything in the least wrong with Roy’s demeanor. “Ellie’s practicing on your wash.”

“I’m sure she would need practice. She probably hasn’t done wash for people in…” Roy’s lips turned up in something between a snarl and a sneer. “How long has it been since you’ve done wash for people, Eleanor? One month? Two? Or did your employers boot you out of your job longer ago than that?”

Ellie shuddered. Oh, Lord, he’d found out—found out before she could tell him the truth! But how could he have found out? Did he guess?

If only she hadn’t been running around like a fool in paradise for the past two days, she would have had the sense to know that she should tell him about herself. She was so ashamed she could hardly speak. She licked her lips, her eyes trained on the floor. “I was let go a few weeks before I came here.”

“Came here to…what?” His blue eyes glittered darkly when she hazarded a glance up at him. “Marry one of us because your rich sweetheart would bed you but not wed you?”

She gasped. He’d been talking to Isabel! She was the only person in Paradise who could have given him information like this. That it had been muddled in translation just made it all sound more sordid. “He was not my sweetheart!”

“That’s right—there was some sad story that went along with your misfortune. Rich man, poor girl. Mother said you’d made it sound like a novel.”

Parker frowned. “Roy, don’t.”

Roy was too focused on Ellie to hear his brother. “Did you come here hoping Parker would marry you? Or did you think your chances were better with two brothers in the house?”

“No,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

“Then why did you lie about being rich?”

“That masquerade began a year ago,” she confessed, “when Parker and I first started writing. In his letter he addressed me as the lady of the house, and I played along, because it seemed more interesting than having to write him that I was just a maid.”

Parker nodded. “You had me fooled, all right. I thought I was writing to Mrs. Vanderbilt.”

Roy shot him a quelling gaze. “It doesn’t take much talent to report what she saw through a keyhole.” He fired his gaze on her. “I knew all along something was strange about your coming here. I sensed you were a fraud from the very beginning.”

Every word he tossed at her stung like a dart, and the worst part was, he was right. She
was
a fraud. She had taken people who’d meant only kindness, and played them for fools for her own ends. “I’m sorry, Roy. I just wanted to give my baby a fresh start and clean name. That’s why I lied. Not to trap you.”

He laughed.

It took all her courage not to turn tail and run out the back door. But she knew she could never live with
herself if she didn’t try to explain to him how real her feelings were. “But you have to believe that the past two days weren’t a lie, Roy. I wasn’t masquerading when I told you I loved you.”

Parker got out of his chair quietly and attempted to make an exit, but was stopped by Roy.

“Don’t bother sneaking away, Parker. There isn’t going to be any tearful reunion.”

At his harsh words, Ellie panicked and ran up to Roy. “Can you just dismiss everything between us so easily? Kisses? Words of love?”

His lips flattened to an intractable line. “I wouldn’t mention those things right now. Being reminded of them doesn’t exactly make me swell with longing.”

His sarcasm hit her like a blow. What a cool customer he was, how unforgiving! But of course she’d known that. He’d spent nearly a quarter of a century harboring a grudge against Isabel.

He brushed past her, and she grabbed at his arm, nearly wincing at the hardness of the tensed muscles beneath her hand. “Roy, where are you going?”

He turned, and the look he sent her chilled her to the bone. “To Uncle Ed’s. This time, don’t follow.”

Yanking his arm away, he stormed out the doorway, leaving nothing but a blast of cold air where he had been just moments before.

Ellie stood frozen, stunned.

Parker patted her on the shoulder, but the gesture brought her little comfort. She knew she deserved all the vitriol Roy had hurled at her.

She looked into Parker’s kind eyes, then took in the rest of him. She was surprised to see that he’d put on his coat.

“I’ll go after him,” he explained. “I’ll talk sense into him.”

She shook her head violently. “Please don’t—it won’t do any good.”

“He’s just angry.”

“He has a right to be angry.”

Unbelievably, Parker grinned. “Watch out. You’re starting to think like him.”

Anguish kept her from smiling back at him. “You warned me, Parker. I only wish I had been smart enough not to need the warning. I wish I—”

He put his forefinger to her lips. “Wish all you want—but Roy’s getting a head start and I have to go.” He put on his hat. “Besides, knowing Roy, he would have felt just as aggrieved no matter when you’d told him.”

But she would have felt better about her own behavior, she thought. She wouldn’t have been so clearly in the wrong.

“I’ll be back in a blink,” Parker promised her.

Maybe, she thought as he closed the door after him. But she doubted Roy would be coming back with him.

“R
oy, don’t be a damn fool.”

Roy leaned on his saddle horn and looked impatiently into his brother’s eyes. A bracing wind was sweeping across the prairie, but the moon was bright and clear. “Is that the message Ellie sent you thundering out here to deliver?”

Parker shook his head. “She didn’t send me. She didn’t want me to come.”

“Then she has more sense than I gave her credit for.”

His brother gazed at him steadily. “You’ve got less than I gave you credit for, Roy.”

Roy sputtered indignantly. “Why should I stay back there when it’s obvious she’s been manipulating us?”

“How? By pretending to be rich?” He tilted his head. “You weren’t planning on being a millionaire, were you, Roy?”

Roy squinted. “’Course not.”

“It was a harmless charade, born out of desperation.”

“Harmless? Does her desperation make it any better that she used us, staying in our house posing as
something she wasn’t, while all the while she was angling for one of us?”

“How do you know she was angling?”

Roy laughed bitterly. “Look what happened!”

Parker smiled one of those wiser-than-thou smiles at him. “Are you sure you fell in love with her because
she
wanted you to and no other reason?”

“It certainly didn’t happen the normal way.”

“What way is normal?”

“I don’t know….” Roy shifted uncomfortably. “All I know is that nothing has been normal since that woman came to town.”

“You’re right. It’s been better.”

“Better for you, maybe,” Roy shot back. “I’m the one who’s been ground through the mill like a juicy piece of sorghum. You’ve just been sitting back enjoying the show.”

“You know what I’ve really enjoyed? Seeing you look happy.”

“Happy?”
The word came out somewhere between a yelp and a howl. “Ever since she came here I’ve been sleeping out in the freezing cold with a man whose snores rattle the barn walls. I’ve had my toe broken. I’ve been running around on fool errands when there’s work to be done.” Even in the heat of the moment, he decided it best not to mention his travails with Clara Trilby. “Is
that
your notion of happy?”

Parker smiled wistfully, as if he’d just described something wonderful. “These past weeks, it was like seeing a bear come out of hibernation. You came back to life.”

Roy winced. Just this afternoon he’d been thinking the same thing. That he’d come out of a trance. He didn’t like being reminded of how good that felt—of
how much his old bachelor suit seemed to pinch and tug at him now that he’d put it on again.

“Well look at me now and tell me how much you enjoy seeing me like this,” Roy said heatedly. “Because she’s responsible for this, too—and this sure as hell isn’t happiness.”

Parker sighed. “If you leave now, Roy, if you don’t even give her a chance…”

“A chance to what? Twist me around her pinkie finger again?”

“Is that why you resent her so?” Parker asked. “Or is it really because you now know she gave her heart to someone else before you?”

The suggestion made Roy practically roar with indignation. “That’s a very interesting question you raise! How can we be sure this sob story she’s told is what really happened? She might have had a hundred men in New York, for all we know.”

Parker looked skeptical. “You don’t believe that.”

“Ha! As far as I’m concerned, we shouldn’t trust a word she says from now till doomsday.”

His brother was silent for a moment. Then he looked at Roy with his piercing blue eyes and asked, “What’s going to happen to her?”

Roy blinked. “Happen to her?”

“How’s she going to get by?”

“She earned her living before.”

“But now, with the baby on the way….”

Roy fought the uncomfortable sympathy threatening to overcome his ire. “We aren’t responsible for her problems. If she needed my help, she could have asked for it instead of trying to trick me into taking care of her for the rest of her life.”

Parker stared at him with those blue eyes so intently that Roy had to look away.

“If she has any decency, she’ll leave our house.”

“And go where?”

Where could a woman like that go? A woman with a baby and a shady past didn’t have a lot of options. Especially in these little towns—although, frankly, the cities weren’t much better. He could think of only one option, and it was decidedly unsavory.

Sweat broke out on Roy’s temple as anger built inside him. Parker and his incessant questions! If they sat out here in the cold mulling over the problems of the world much longer, he was apt to do something entirely foolish, like gallop back to the house and take Ellie into his arms, common sense be hanged. Pride be hanged.

Damn!

He reached deep into his pocket, pulling out part of the money Cora Trilby had given him when he’d returned the ring. He handed it to Parker. “Here,” he said gruffly. “If it makes you feel better, give her this.”

Parker stared at the money in his hand. “Twenty dollars?”

“She should be able to get to Omaha on that. Omaha’s a big place.” The words seemed to tumble frantically out of his mouth. “Something will work out for her there.”

“Do you really think so, Roy?”

Roy bridled indignantly. “How should I know? I’m a farmer, not a fortune teller. Just send her on her way.”

“Are you going to stay with Uncle Ed?”

“Until she’s gone, yes.”

Parker nodded, his expression almost mournful. “All right, Roy.” Without another word, he turned and spurred his horse back to the house.

Roy was glad to see him go. But though he no longer had his brother’s knowing gaze pinned on him,
he
felt
as if he did. Guilt mixed with anger mixed with something else again waged a mighty battle inside him.

But what did
he
have to feel guilty about? He hadn’t made Ellie any promises! He’d given her hospitality, more than his reason told him he should have, and she’d repaid him with deceit.

Still, Roy stared after Parker’s retreating horse, fighting the urge to follow him. But that would be sheer folly, he knew. Ellie was a woman who made him forget his better judgement. She’d cast some sort of spell on him, and the best thing to do would be never to see her again.

Ever.

The look on Parker’s face when he came back into the house told Ellie all she needed to know.

Roy wasn’t going to forgive her.

She held up her hand, silently pleading with Parker not to give her the grim details.

He doffed his hat and combed his hand through his light hair. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I thought I could bring him around, but I couldn’t. That brother of mine has a head like a mule’s.”

“He’s angry, as he has every right to be.”

“But if he’d just see the thing from your angle….”

“It wouldn’t change the situation. I made a mistake and now…” Now there was an aching pain inside her that felt as if it would never go away. She wished she could throw herself on her bed and cry for about twenty years. “Believe me, Parker, if I’d known the trouble I was bringing to your family, I would have stayed in New York.”

Even her pathetic existence as Mary O’Malley’s unwanted houseguest was preferable to feeling as if her heart had just been split in two.

She stared at Parker. He appeared to want to say something more, though she wasn’t certain she had the mental strength for further conversation. There was nothing left to say anyway.

Ike came bursting in from a long day mending fences in the south pasture, his face florid from the wind and cold. “Lord ’a mercy!” he cried, banging the dust off his boots on the threshold. “Such goings-on! Roy’s galloping away, Parker’s galloping away, then back. I didn’t know what to make of it all. Is Ed okay?”

Parker nodded. “Far as I know.”

Ike’s smile faded as he registered their expressions. “Oh. See, I saw Roy headed toward Ed’s and I wondered…” He looked at the washtub in the middle of the kitchen, as if it might hold some answers, then hazarded a glance up at Ellie.

Her face turned pink; she wanted to run and hide. “I finished the wash, but I’m afraid I didn’t have time to empty the tub….”

For some reason, having left the dirty water there made her feel all the more miserable. As if she would always be leaving messes too big for herself to clean up.

Ike jumped in before she could dissolve into a puddle of self-pity. “Don’t bother your head about it, Ellie,” he said kindly. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Thank you, Ike. I’m sorry.”

He chuckled. “Nothing to be sorry for!”

Which only drove home the fact that he’d missed out on the last hour’s drama. Ike picked up the tub as if it weighed nothing at all and hauled it outside.

When he was gone, Parker cleared his throat and reached hesitantly into his pockets. “Roy gave me something for you….”

For a moment, Ellie’s heart picked up. Had Roy
written her a note? Even if it was a letter berating her again, she still wouldn’t have minded. Perversely, she savored the idea of hearing more from him, of finding out that it wasn’t so easy for him to dismiss her from his heart.

She ran over to Parker like a kid hoping for Christmas candy—only when she held out her hand, he placed twenty dollars in it.

She looked at the bills and felt as though the blood were draining out of her, leaving ice water in her veins.

Money? For some reason, it was the last thing she had expected from him!

“He must be desperate for me to leave.”

Of course he was; while she was in his house he wouldn’t live there. She nodded, seeing how selfish she was to think that she could even stay there another day. And she didn’t want to. It’s just everything had happened so quickly, she hadn’t thought about the future….

“I’ll go tonight,” she promised.

Parker shook his head furiously. “No, Ellie. Wait.”

“Wait for what? For morning?”

“No, I meant…”

She smiled, understanding. He thought she could stay indefinitely, hoping Roy would come around. “You know as well as I that he won’t change his mind.”

Ike came in through the back door again, more quietly this time. Ellie looked up at him and forced a smile.

“Could you take me into town, Ike?”

“Now?”

Parker interceded. “Not now, Ellie—wait till morning, at least.”

The two men stared at her. If she insisted, they
would do as she asked. But Ike looked exhausted after his day—none of them had even had supper, she remembered—and Parker just didn’t appear inclined to help her leave the farm at all.

She sighed. “All right. In the morning then.”

Taking his cue from Parker, Ike even looked reluctant to do that. But he finally nodded. “All right, Ellie. You just say when.”

“Thank you, Ike.”

She smiled, feeling as if she would burst into tears if she stayed in the kitchen with these two kind men for another minute. She slapped Roy’s twenty dollars on the table and left them quickly.

In her wake, Ike and Parker fixed and ate their late meal in mournful silence.

A night spent tossing and turning—in Roy’s bed, of all places—didn’t make Ellie feel any better, but it firmed up her resolve. She didn’t have enough money to get back to New York, much less start a life there. So she would just have to swallow the last shreds of her pride, accept Roy’s money, and stay in Paradise. Seeing Roy again from time to time would just be the price she would pay for what she’d done.

She still burned with humiliation. For the second time in as many months, she was being bundled up and thrown away like old fish bones in newspaper, but this time she had only herself to blame. How long would it take her to learn that she couldn’t dream that her life would suddenly transform into a magnificent fairy-tale ending? For her baby’s sake, if not her own, she needed to start being more realistic.

And to women like her, that meant getting a job.

She loaded up her bags and went out into the parlor to face Parker and Ike. She’d turned down Ike’s offer
of breakfast already. She didn’t think she would ever eat again.

In the parlor, Ike was waiting for her, his hat in his hand.

She breathed a sigh of relief that things were moving quickly. She looked around for Parker. She couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. “Where’s Parker?”

Ike’s face was almost beet-red. “He’s, um, out.”

She glanced around, confused. “Is he in the barn?”

“He went out for a walk because I told him I wanted to speak to you,” Ike blurted out. “Privatelike.”

Ellie shifted uncomfortably, uncertain where this was all leading. “What’s wrong, Ike?”

“Oh, nothing’s wrong, ma’am—I mean miss.”

So…he’d heard the story.

Ike hesitated, then beat his hat against his leg. After a moment of fidgeting and twisting, he glanced up at her shyly. “What I mean to say is, I was wondering if you would marry me.”

Ellie’s jaw dropped.

“If you would do me the honor,” Ike added in a rush.

For a moment, she was purely speechless.

Now that the question was out in the open, Ike appeared a little panicky. “Don’t worry, Ellie, I’m not fool enough to think you might love me or anything like that. Heck, that’d be akin to a doe fallin’ for a leathery old steer.”

“Oh, Ike, it wouldn’t be like that at all!”

He craned his head. “But you see, I like you real well. I guess you’re the finest lady I’ve ever known since my mama, and it don’t matter to me none where you came from or what you did. You might not be a
lady, but you always treated me like a prince. I know you didn’t mean no harm.”

A lump built in her throat.

Ike shrugged. “I’m just a crusty old farmhand, Ellie, and I’m sure I always would be a bachelor, exceptin’ I can’t think of drivin’ you into Paradise and maybe you catching a train and then my not knowin’ what’ll become of you and that little baby.”

Last night she had cried until her head ached. Cried until she thought she’d dried up every drop of moisture in her. But now, amazingly, she felt new tears sting her eyes.

As the tears streamed down her cheeks, Ike looked stricken. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I didn’t intend to set you off.”