Lizzy Ford (35 page)

“Get my point?” Damian asked, not unkindly.

She nodded, sucking in deep breaths.

“He’s a menace.”

“He helped your brother,” she pointed out. “He’s killing your enemies.”

“You still defending him?”

“No, I …” She sought the words. “What do you want, Damian? For me to be even more terrified than I already am? Not to get involved with him? Or to get involved with him, because he
can
do such things?”

Damian studied her.

“It doesn’t matter, because he’s done with me,” she added. She pointed to the necklace. “This is him fucking with me. It’s like a dare. He got what he wanted and is waiting for me to fail his test to take this back.”

“You understand him better than I thought.” Damian was amused.

Jessi was silent, even more frustrated. Damian thought there was no good to Xander at all, while Sofi grudgingly admitted there might be something more to him. Jessi knew there was, and it bothered her not to understand what exactly that meant for her.

“I’ll leave you alone for a bit. I’m going for pizza. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

She definitely couldn’t eat after watching Xander tear apart human-like bodies as if they were paper. Jessi returned to the paddock to watch the animals.

A chill descended over the desert compound as the sun set. The glowing red eyes of the vamp-cat drew her attention. It settled at her feet.

“Furry little vampire,” she murmured. “That wasn’t wine I was giving you, was it?”

“Vampires drink coffee and blood. I eat raw meat, too, but that’s more a matter of preference.”

She tensed at Xander’s amused growl. “Done killing people?”

“For now.”

Jessi met his gaze. Xander stood a few feet away, tense, but not in the way that scared her. He wasn’t coming closer. She didn’t know if she wanted him to. Was she really a one night stand and science experiment he enjoyed toying with, like she told Damian?

What if she wasn’t?

“Were you with Damian when he decided to check up on us?” he asked, a note of caution emerging.

Jessi didn’t answer. Xander took a step closer.

“Boundary,” she whispered.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes, I was.”

He moved to the fence of the paddock and rested his forearms against the top plank. Jessi relaxed some, leaning against the pole at her side. The scent of oak and amber and his calming presence eased some of her tension while filling her lower belly with fire. The memory of his hands on her body, and his mouth branding her skin, made her ache to feel his touch again. Uncertain how to interpret his quietness, she tried to figure out what to say.

“I don’t know what to think, Xander,” she said. “I don’t know what Damian’s purpose was in showing me … that.”

“If I ever intended to hurt you, I would’ve by now.”

“I know that. I think. It doesn’t mean what I saw you do, what I know you can do, is easy for me to accept.”

“Then don’t.” He was bristling. “You intend to betray me anyway.”

“Yeah. I guess,” she said. “I am sorry about your condo.”

“I’ll get another.”

“Toilet paper,” she muttered.

“Got plans for tonight?”

“You don’t do reruns,” she said mockingly.

“I’ll make an exception.”

“Whatever.”

“Coward,” he said, chuckling.

Jessi’s heart was flipping in her chest, and she was finding it hard to breathe at the thought of a second night with him. It wasn’t all desire; some of it was terror. Not only had he given her the power over the world, but he’d decided he wanted to sleep with her twice. The first woman in his history.

He wasn’t joking about keeping her. Or killing those who betrayed him. Where exactly did that leave her?

“Maybe I’ve got a hot date with a Guardian,” she said in the terse silence between them.

The moment Xander’s gaze settled on her, she knew she pushed a button she shouldn’t have. The vampire moved towards her.

“That was a joke,” she said and retreated.

Jessi’s back bumped the railing. Her face was hot, her heart flying. She didn’t know if she was afraid of him – or beyond turned on.

“You don’t want me, Xander. Not only am I a rerun, but I’ll betray you.”

“That ship is sinking fast, isn’t it?”

“Boundary!”

“No more boundaries.” He stopped with inches to spare. “What else you got?”

“Two kids,” she retorted desperately. Jessi was embarrassed to feel she was near tears again, as she had been the night before. It wasn’t fear, she realized, but reality. Whatever was between her and Xander, it wasn’t something she was going to be able to walk away from.

Xander laughed. “Not a deterrent.”

“That’s all I got,” she said, distraught.

“I made my decision. I want you, Jessi.”

Her words stuck in her throat at his declaration. For a minute, she was too flustered to speak. Finally, she managed a hoarse whisper.

“You won’t just take pity on me and wait to see if we survive the weekend?”

“I don’t do mercy,” he reminded her.

“Even for me?”

“Especially not for you.”

“That’s not cool.” Jessi breathed in his scent, wanting to feel the safety of his arms once more but torn by her situation. He made his choice. He wanted more than one night with her.

He was making her life hell. She was already too far involved with him, and she couldn’t help wanting so much more.

Hesitantly, she placed a hand on his chest, able to feel his body heat through the thin material of his t-shirt. Xander didn’t move, waiting for her to make a decision she had no control over, not with her body and emotions already firmly on his side.

Jessi leaned against him, resting her cheek against his chest. Xander’s arms circled her. She sighed, tormented and comforted by his presence. His strength and warmth pierced her body, somehow easing the gravity of her world.

He tipped her chin up. “Easy, right?”

“No,” she whispered. “Hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“I was beginning to think I’d have to find dinner elsewhere.”

“I swear, Xander!” she snapped, craning her head back to glare at him.

“There’s the fire,” he said, smiling. “You’re gonna need it tonight.”

Her body flushed hot. Jessi gazed at him, realizing she’d made a choice, whether or not she was ready for the consequences. He kissed her hungrily. She wrapped her arms around his neck and responded with need fed by emotion. Xander slowed the pace as he had the night before, teaching her to savor the sensation of his lips, his flavor and the way his large hands moved over her body, gently guiding her where he wanted her to go.

With some surprise, she realized they’d Traveled somewhere. He lifted her and placed her on a firm bed. Unable to see anything in the dark place, she almost panicked when the warmth of his body left her.

“Xander?”

“Right here,” he said with gruffness. “Can’t fuck you with clothes on, can I?”

His bluntness struck her as funny. Jessi began laughing, once again not at all certain what she agreed to – or why.

Or what would happen tomorrow, when she left to meet Jonny.

Her laughter turned quickly to despair. Before she was able to stop herself, she was crying. Xander slid into the bed next to her and gathered her in his arms. The heat of his bare chest beneath her hands and the hardness of his arousal against her belly made need roar to life within her. Unable to control her spinning emotions, she clung to him. Xander fluttered kisses over her face, as gentle with her as he was brutal with the Others she watched him kill.

The contradiction confused her.

His lips brushed hers lightly. Suddenly, her emotion found an outlet. Sorrow, desire, fear, desperation – all spun and solidified into an ache unlike anything she’d ever experienced. Xander was right; she was drowning, and he was all that kept her from going under.

“I’m in trouble, Xander.”

“No shit.”

Another laugh bubbled.

“You made the hardest choice,” he added softly. “The rest we’ll handle together.”

His words floored her. Jessi wasn’t certain she heard him correctly. His thumbs pushed her tears away. She drew a few shaky breaths to calm herself and then touched his face.

“So I’m not toilet paper?” she asked, waiting for the crude Xander to respond.

“No.” His hands traveled up her shirt. “Jessi, I need to be inside you. It’s the only way I can feel you.”

“What do you mean?” she whispered, enthralled by the sensations he stirred. His tongue flickered out to her neck, and she instinctively tilted her head, knowing what he wanted.

“I can feel what you feel. It’s a fucking turn on.”

How was
he
the only part of her world that felt right? He kissed her deeply again, and suddenly, she didn’t care about anything outside of the two of them.

Chapter Fifteen

Xander wasn’t able to sleep, even after making love to Jessi. He lay on his back, staring into the darkness. Jessi’s arm was across his chest, her face nuzzled in the crook of his neck as she slept. Her warm body was pressed against his, the faint glow of the crystal emanating from its place tangled in her hair.

What bothered him wasn’t the woman in his bed. What bothered him: by making the choice he did, he was faced with a new set of consequences, ones he didn’t quite know how to handle and definitely couldn’t control.

He hated that idea. Regardless, he was doing exactly as Damian – probably with the help of the fucking Oracle – predicted. He was getting ready to leave the fringe where he’d spent his life. No more watching others fuck up, no more walking away. He lived his immortality with no strings attached, before Jessi.

His phone vibrated just as dawn lit the room where he’d taken them. Before the condo, he lived in an apartment closer to the size of Jessi’s. It was still his, a place for him to escape Ingrid and the brightness of his condo.

Xander reached for the phone. Jessi’s breathing was deep; he’d worn her out and had no fear of her waking up with his quiet movements. The text message was from Jule.

Jonny has Ashley. You’re not handling this one alone.

He glanced at Jessi’s peaceful face, able to appreciate the irony of her situation. The night she surrendered to him finally was the night everything went to shit. He wrapped an arm around her then responded to Jule.

After breakfast.
Xander typed. He sent the message and rolled onto his side, drawing Jessi into his body. Her scent and sensation of her warm skin against his was intoxicating. He breathed her in and lowered his head to her neck. She murmured in her sleep when he bit her. Xander drank until the edge of hunger was gone, suspecting the talk they were about to have would force him to find alternate sources for a full meal.

Jessi’s eyes were open when he withdrew. Completely unguarded, her gray eyes were large and clear in the early morning light and her features relaxed. She smiled sleepily at him. Xander smoothed hair from her face and traced his hand down the side of her body before hugging her against him.

His heart was pounding hard, but it wasn’t from desire for once. He didn’t like the feeling at the base of his stomach.

“We need to talk,” he said against her ear. She shivered.

“I know.”

“Your turn.”

Jessi hesitated. Xander waited.

“Jonny put Ashley in the hospital last weekend. When I went to get her, he was there. He wanted me to steal your necklace. I’m not going to say I laughed, but well…”

“You did,” he said, smiling to himself.

“Yeah, sorta. So he showed me what he can do.” Jessi was quiet for a moment. “Kind of hard not to agree at that point. I didn’t understand why I had to do it, until you told me that you couldn’t hear my thoughts.”

“How did he know to plant you as my assistant?”

“I think he hacked into Ingrid’s computer and has been waiting for his chance.”

Xander made a mental note to vamp Ingrid none-too-gently, when he finally granted her wish to be a vampire.

“Did he say how he found you?”

“I think he had help,” she said. “The purple people.”

“Others.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know that’s who it was. Jonny took me to meet one who seemed to know a lot about the necklace.”

Original Other.
Xander understood why it was that the Others were suddenly targeting him and the power of the gem. The only creatures that knew about his necklace were the Originals. He entered the mortal realm a year before without knowing the fates of any of the other Original Beings, before crossing paths with Jule, the Original Immortal, and Eden, the Original Human. If the Original Other made it, there was a chance the Original Watcher did as well.

“You were supposed to steal it, or they’d hurt your cousins,” he stated.

“Yes.” Her whisper was almost too quiet for him to hear. “Ashley’s half in love with Jonny. Jenn took me to Texas the other day at the mall. I figured as long as my cousins were there, I’d figure out what to do when Jonny came for me.”

Xander suspected Damian was right; Jonny didn’t have to kidnap Ashley. She walked straight into the Black God’s arms.

“And then there was you,” Jessi finished with a sigh of either frustration or defeat. “Weird how things turn out, isn’t it?”

“It’s not over yet,” he warned.

She shifted, pushing herself up on her elbow to gaze into his eyes. He held her gaze for a long moment, not wanting the moment to end. Her features were as soft as her skin, her displaced curls everywhere. She traced the lines of his face, openly admiring.

“Jessi.” He took the hand whose fingers were lightly traveling his face. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?” She frowned at his tone, studying him. “You’re against reruns now?”

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” he assured her. “It’s about Ashley.”

She froze. After a surprised silence, fear crossed her features.

“Jonny?” she managed.

“Yeah.”

The color drained from her face a moment before she panicked. “It’s my fault. What am I doing here instead of making sure Jonny can’t get to her? I have to find her!” She pushed at him, trying to get free.