Loki (15 page)

Loki grew angry when he saw the eagle take so much of their dinner when it had not done any of the work of catching it and slaughtering it. He rushed forward with a large stick and struck the eagle, forcing it back from its prize. The eagle took to the air with the stick imbedded in its body. Loki, unable to release the stick, found the ground swiftly retreating as the bird carried him high into the air.

The eagle dived down towards the ground and dragged Loki onto stones and scree and bushes, causing him great pain, till he begged it for mercy.

“
You must swear to do a service for me,” it said.

“
Yes, I will swear it. I will do whatever bidding you like.”

“
You must bring me Idun and her apples. Swear to this and I will set you free.”

Loki realized what would happen if Idun was brought to this creature, and was reluctant to swear to his terms. “Ask me anything but that. I cannot bring Idun to you.”

The eagle dipped lower once more and scraped Loki's body across the ground, ripping his skin from his body. He could no longer bear the agony. “I swear it! I will bring you Idun!”

The eagle dropped him to the ground and landed nearby. The eagle landed before him, and both gods knew they had been tricked when it changed its shape and became the giant Thiazi, whose hatred for the Aesir was well-known to all . . .

Chapter Nine

It felt right to be back in the copse near the quarry after so many months had passed. It was not hard to relive those moments, especially feeling his form shift, his consciousness change. The memory of what it had been like to be another creature was dim, but lingered. Somehow the horse that he had become had managed to retain a singularity of purpose, despite the fact that his normal self was almost completely gone. He was certain it would be the same this time; that he would be able to put one thought into his head and pursue it even while he became another creature entirely.

He closed his eyes and felt the energy flow through him as it had before. His thoughts changed first, becoming quick and fleeting. He could not hold on to a single idea or image for more than a few seconds. Muscles tightened and quickened. His eyes opened, and his neck and head began to turn back and forth instinctively, as if he were searching for something, although he did not know what it might be. A fear began to spread through him, but it did not feel out of place. It seemed that it was a fear that always lay below the surface, a fear that danger was nearby and imminent while he was on the ground.

Small protrusions began to grow from his skin, sprouting all over his body. His nose elongated and his fingers stretched to an obscene degree, while at the same time the skin between them began to spread out. He felt himself shrinking, a very different feeling from the vast and powerful expansion into a horse. Instead, he felt delicate and fragile. And yet there was power as well. He stretched his arms wide and reveled in their near-weightlessness. He felt lighter and airier than he had ever felt in his life, and the touch of the ground under his curling toenails began to repulse him.

He did not belong on the forest floor, a target for any larger creature with an appetite and some speed. He stretched his arms out to their greatest width—his bones felt so light! His newly-formed wings easily caught the wind and sent him skyward.

His vision was astoundingly clear. As he soared over the treetops he could see movements that he would never have noticed before, even if he had been only inches away. The fields below teemed with life of all kinds, and he was attuned to the smallest movements. He noted with some amazement that rodents were everywhere in the tall, swaying grasses below him—mice, rats, rabbits—and each one sent involuntary impulses to dive through his body. His talons flexed, anticipating a death grip on one of the creatures below.

It was not long before he gave in to his instincts and adjusted his flight suddenly, streaking towards a quickly moving rabbit that sensed death swooping down upon it. In a matter of seconds, he could feel his talons sink into its back, all fight leaving its body as it was hoisted off the ground. He landed on a dead tree, its leafless top offering a platform for his meal. Still alive, the rabbit was nonetheless paralyzed, either by fright or instinct. Loki’s beak dug into its belly and voraciously fed while the creature’s life slowly drained out into the dead wood underneath.

Soon after, he was soaring over Bifrost. Heimdall stood still as a stone at the entrance to Asgard. His bird-consciousness felt nothing in particular for this being—it only knew that the creature was too big to eat, and too slow and far away to be a threat. It was thus of no consequence. Buried deep within him there was a feeling that he could not identify, a small, unpleasant burning in his tiny brain, something that his bird-self could not understand. It was akin to hunger, but it would not be sated with meat. For a brief second he understood the contempt and anger that dwelt within him, but then it was gone, to be replaced by newly-formed instincts. The only remaining thought of his prior self was the desperate need to travel to the land of the giants.

Midgard passed below him quickly and his submerged consciousness occasionally rose up. He could see his destination far in the distance, although it would not take more than a day to get there. The land below was much like Asgard, but some crucial element was missing. It was as if the life had been drained from this place, as if it were only a shadow of his homeland. Humans were scarce, but animal and plant life were plentiful. The forests were vast, and they blanketed much of what he saw. He could see part of the expansive ocean encircling the land, and beyond that even. It seemed that the smoke from Muspelheim was just barely within his sight, although he could detect nothing more of that fiery realm that stood on the outskirts of creation. Even his bird-self acknowledged relief that nothing could be seen of that place.

Jotunheim loomed behind a massive enclosure of mountains far to the north. The land seemed to arrange itself into a protective citadel, and even from a great distance he could sense the chaos that infused the place. He could not see it exactly, not even with his hawk’s vision, but he sensed it, like a thick fog that lay over the entire land. It was concentrated around the massive citadel, Utgard, which he could just faintly make out, but there was another point as well. Odin had told him of this place. It was Thrymheim, the storm fortress of the giant Thiazi.

Thrymheim was carved from the tallest peaks of the mountain that made up the protective enclosure around Jotunheim, and it would have been difficult to spot from far away for any who did not possess a hawk's keen eyesight. He circled the tallest tower several times, looking down upon the massive fortress with little of his true cognizance, but being driven by a deep need to be there.

As he banked off towards the forest that lay at the base of the mountain, his eyes were drawn back to the tallest tower. Without his gift of vision he would not have noticed the solitary figure that stood on the tower at the top of the peak. He could see that the figure watched him, and he veered back.

His true consciousness rose slightly, and a single thought formed in his brain, one that would be impossible to conceive if he were merely a bird. The thought echoed in his head, and he felt an inexplicable link to this figure. With this thought gaining intensity, he circled down closer, eyes always on the figure in order to satisfy the distinctly unbirdlike curiosity.

The figure stared at him, clearly aware of this lone bird who circled above, with a gaze that was inviting and strangely . . . expected. The caution that would normally have pervaded his bird-self began to evaporate, and he drew closer.

The tower was wide, and he landed on the edge a safe distance from the figure. As more of his true nature asserted itself, he became aware that the man was a giant, although his size was nowhere near that of the mason's monstrous form. He was twice Thor's height, but lacked the Thunderer's commanding physical presence. Still, there was an undeniable aura around him; Loki could see a sheen of what he would have thought of as sorcery before, but what he now instantly recognized as chaos. It was the same shifting aura he had first seen surrounding the mason. It was also the same energy that he felt roiling inside himself.

As he stared at the giant, the single thought that had drawn him there—Thiazi—grew more prominently in his brain. This was who he sought. This was who had sent the mason to Asgard. This was the enemy of the Aesir.

Thiazi spoke, but Loki did not know the words. Comprehension came slowly as his bird-self gave way. Still in hawk form, he nonetheless began to perceive his surroundings with his own faculties.

“
You have flown far,” the giant said.

Loki was unable to form words to respond. He perched on the edge of the tower, intrigued but ready to take flight should Thiazi show threat.

As if reading his mind, Thiazi said, “I offer you no threat, Loki of Asgard. I would no more harm you than I would harm any other of my own kind.”

Loki watched him carefully, but Thiazi made no move or threatening gesture of any kind. He merely stood on the opposite side of the tower and stared.

“
The one-eyed one sent you here to find me, but he did not know that you had first found yourself. You have discovered much about your own nature, and more importantly, you have discovered that you have never been one of them.”

Spoken aloud, the words caused him some pain. Though he had begun to accept it, the truth became more real when issued from the mouth of another. He was not Aesir, and although he had thought it settled in his own mind, there was a sliver of denial.

“
You were sent here to discover how the mason was able to wield such destructive power. It was I who allowed him to attain that power, and it was I who sent him to Asgard. In time, I will send more like him. I will continue to be a threat to the gods until Asgard has been reduced to rubble.

“
So now that you have discovered what you sought, you may fly back and tell all you know to One Eye.”

Loki tensed, waiting for some movement or threatening gesture after the revelation. Thiazi simply stood there.

“
Or you may step inside Thrymheim as a son of Jotunheim—for that is what you truly are—and I will teach you how to wield the power that you feel emerging within you. You will discover that there are far better uses of your power than merely changing your form. The threat posed by the mason was nothing compared to what you will be able to do. And those who have shunned and derided you will be forced to treat you with the honor you deserve, or else they will all lie dead at your feet.”

Thiazi took a step towards the stairs leading down and into the tower. “I will be within. None will attempt to harm you if you choose to fly back to Asgard, and our paths may never cross again. Or you may choose to enter as my disciple, and I will teach you how to wield the power within you. It is your choice; remain who you are and be a servant to those who despise you for the rest of your days, or join me and learn how you can rise above even the gods.” He disappeared down the spiral steps of the tower, leaving Loki alone, still perched on the edge.

He turned his head and stared back towards Asgard. Even with his hawk's vision, it was too far away to see, but he could just barely make out what he thought was Bifrost. Heimdall was there still, and Loki remembered the sneer on his face as he had walked across with Sleipnir. He remembered as well the sting of Balder's insults and the derision of the other gods at Gladsheim.

He spread his wings wide. The chaos swirled within him, and he felt his body slowly revert back to his normal form. He stood up to his full height and looked back once more towards Asgard. He could no longer make out the rainbow bridge, but he imagined its presence, a shining beacon that announced the entrance to the realm of the gods, the only home he had ever known.

He turned towards the tower and began walking down the steps to the heart of Thrymheim.

Chapter Ten

Loki sat atop the same tower he had perched on many months ago, his feet dangling out into open space, looking down across the sprawling expanse of mountain ranges that encircled Jotunheim. He did not turn when he sensed someone approaching from behind.

“
They serve as an impressive barrier between Jotunheim and the rest of Midgard,” he said.

Thiazi stood next to him. “They are Ymir's gift to Jotunheim.”

Loki looked up at his mentor, who towered over him. “The Aesir believe that Odin carved up Ymir's body to create the Nine Worlds. These mountains were his bones and teeth.”

“
And do you believe that?”

“
I once believed all that Odin said. But that was before I learned what I am.”

Thiazi nodded and looked out over the mountains. “Now that you know the truth, do you long for the ignorance of your past?”

“
No, but it would be a lie if I claimed I had no regret. It is strange to wake up one day and realize that you are not who you thought you were.”

“
But you now know, and you can make up for those long years of service to your enemies. It will be a simple task now that you have been shown how to use the chaos that resides inside you. You can have revenge on those who wronged you, and we can turn our enemies into doddering fools.”