London Bound (16 page)

When Jack sat across from him again, neither man said anything for a few minutes, but Nathan wasn’t fooled. Jack wasn’t only perceptive, he was persistent, and there’d be no stopping him from having his say. It was easier all around just to let him have at and get past it.

“So, what’s the problem exactly?” Jack asked quietly.

Nathan snorted. “Never said there was a problem.”

Just because he knew Jack would gnaw at the subject like a dog with a fucking bone didn’t mean Nathan had to make it easy.

“Who do you think you’re talking to, mate? Can’t fool me.”

“Maybe I don’t want to talk about it, you dick.”

“May not want to, but I figure you probably should. Time’s running out, so the sooner you grasp what’s going on in your hard head, the better.”

“Yes, time
is
running out, isn’t it?” Nathan snapped. “That’s the bloody problem. She’s on holiday, Jack. Soon enough, she’s going to go home. Back to her family and her life.” He drew in a deep breath. “It was always meant to be a temporary thing—what we have going on. A holiday fling for her to look back on fondly.”

And, he just couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice, and from Jack’s softening expression, it was clear as day to the other man.

“All right, that’s what it was meant to be.” He shrugged. “What do you
want
it to be?”

“Hardly matters,” Nathan muttered.

“Of course it does.”

“Not when it can’t happen. And it can’t,” he said firmly.

“Why does whatever you want get shoved aside?” Jack traced a finger along the edge of his glass, not quite meeting Nathan’s gaze. “I’d say it’s high time for you to actually figure out what you want and go after it. You deserve that.”

“Nothing’s been shoved aside,” Nathan protested.

“Really? Because for as long as I’ve known you, everybody else’s needs have come first. Your mum, your sisters. I’m not saying you shouldn’t look out for family,” he said quickly when Nathan shook his head and opened his mouth. “I admire that about you—taking care of the women in your life since you lost your dad—truly, I do, but Nathan...”

“But what?” he said wearily.

“You’ve been doing that since you were thirteen. Isn’t it time to go after something you want? Find something...
someone
who makes you happy?” He lifted his glass but stopped with it poised in front of his lips. “And, she makes you happy. These past few weeks, you’ve been happier than I’ve ever seen you, and you can’t tell me that it isn’t because of her, because I’m not a fucking idiot.”

Nathan stared at his friend for a long moment as he emptied half the glass and set it on the table.

“It can’t be anything more than what it already is,” he said, and Jack leaned forward to hear the softly uttered words.

“That’s your problem. You’re not recognizing what it actually is. May have started off as a holiday fling you were willing to give the hot American tourist, but you’re in deep, and you need to accept that.”

“I do.” He met Jack’s gaze fully. “I know what my feelings are. I may not want to talk about them or dwell on them, but for good reason. Regardless of what I feel, nothing more can come of this, so I’m going to enjoy what little time I have left with her. What? What’s with the fucking look?”

Jack lifted a shoulder. “You’re talking like she’s going to magically disappear in a week. She’s just going back home, Nathan. There is nothing stopping the two of you from being together.”

“Oh, sure, nothing but a few thousand miles. Different fucking continents, you jackass. Long distance is hard enough, but that, that is setting ourselves up for failure from the start.” He frowned, shifting uneasily under Jack’s sympathetic, bordering on pitying, stare. “Isn’t it?”

Before the other man could respond, Nathan straightened, rolling his shoulders. “You can’t seriously be encouraging me to pursue this. You know better than anyone that long-distance relationships don’t work.”

“
That
long-distance relationship didn’t work, you thick-headed twat. And it sure as hell wasn’t the miles between us that fucked it up. Grant could have lived with me, and it wouldn’t have changed the fact that he was a cheating bastard.” Jack’s upper lip curled slightly, and he threw back the rest of his pint.

Nathan cringed, feeling horrible and guilty for even bringing it up.

“Aw, don’t go beating yourself up, now,” Jack drawled. “Grant’s an arse, and I’m better off without him in my life. Meg, on the other hand, is lovely, and she makes you fucking happy, and you will
not
be better off without her.”

Shoving his hands through his still-sweat-damp hair, Nathan huffed impatiently. “It’s still more complicated than all of that. We’d never see each other, so I wouldn’t
be
happy. I’d be miserable because I’d be without her.”

“You’re going to be without her, anyway.”

“I know that. But I wouldn’t be sitting here holding out for scraps thrown my way—phone calls, video chats, fucking emails. I’d be able deal with it; I’d get...” He swallowed heavily, his throat suddenly unbearably tight. “I’d get over her. No sense in dragging out my misery by pretending.”

Jack hummed and slid his fingers through the condensation that had gathered on the table. “Why does it have to be that way? Why do you have to settle for the long-distance thing and have more than ‘scraps’?”

“What am I supposed to do, exactly? Enlighten me, Jack! I can’t ask her to be with me here and make a go of this. She has kids she has to think about. Both of them are in school; she’s not going uproot them, pick up her life and move here.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He shook his head, jaw tight. “Why does it have to be
her
?”

Nathan jolted back in surprise at the annoyance in Jack’s sharp tone. “What?”

“Why does she have to be the one to make the move? If you know that she can’t do that, and her reasons are solid, why can’t you do it?”

Nathan laughed, a harsh, bitter sound that grated his own ears. “Right, because it’s just
that
easy.”

The corner of Jack’s mouth quirked. “Ponder on that while I get another round.”

With that, he left Nathan alone again. With a million thoughts swimming in his brain. His first reaction stuck firmly for a while—it wasn’t as simple as Jack made it seem. Nathan couldn’t just leave. Like, Meg, he had family, a job, responsibilities. He thought of everyone he’d let down if he abandoned all of that for a woman he’d known a matter of weeks. The very idea of doing that was insane, but then he let his mind settle on Meg. On everything he’d tried so hard not to let in. How coming home to her, being with her, filled a void inside him. How she’d leave in nine days, would get on a plane and he’d never seeing her again. And, the ache he’d been ignoring and trying to shove aside blossomed inside him, overwhelming everything else.

His chest hurt, and he struggled to draw in air.

“Hey, hey!”

Nathan lifted his bowed head and found Jack sat across from him again, frown fierce and eyes concerned.

“Breathe, mate. Just breathe.”

“You were wrong, you know,” he managed after a few long moments. Finally being honest with himself, he figured he’d be just as truthful with his best friend. Always had been in the past, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to stop now.

Jack’s brows rose. “About what, exactly?”

“I’m not falling for Meg. Just shut up and let me talk,” he said, shaking his head when Jack leaned forward, ready to argue. “I’m not falling for her. It’s not something that’s in progress, Jack. It’s done. I’ve fallen. I’m there, utterly and fucking completely.”

He blew a long breath through pursed lips and watched the other man’s frown transform into a wide grin.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Not a blessed clue,” Nathan admitted.

“But you know you can’t just let her walk away?” Jack prodded.

Nathan nodded jerkily.

“That’s a start. Acceptance
is
the first step.”

“Fuck off.” He flipped up two fingers, causing Jack to throw his head back and laugh. “Acceptance doesn’t help me figure out how to...how to make this work.”

“Well, you’re damned lucky to have me here to help you out, because I’m an excellent problem solver.” Jack lifted his glass, held it out and waited.

“That you are.” Nathan chuckled, tapping his pint against Jack’s before adding softly, “And I am. Lucky to have you, I mean.”

He took a drink and met Nathan’s gaze before dipping his head in acknowledgment. Nathan did count himself fortunate to have the man in his life. He could always rely on Jack to come through, to be there no matter what. Of course, two seconds later, he had to go open his mouth and ruin the warm and fuzzy moment.

“That’s the bloody truth. Without me, your head would be permanently up your arse.”

“Hope you opened a tab, you dick,” Nathan groused, though he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. “I’m going to need a hell of a lot more drink in my system if I have to put up with you all day.”

* * * * *

M
eg bit back a whimper as she leaned against the door and toed off her shoes. God, she ached everywhere, especially her feet. It hadn’t been too bad, until she’d gotten off them during the train ride back into London. At least, she’d planned ahead, figuring the day trip to Bath would be a draining one, and tomorrow, the only thing on her agenda was spending time with Nathan.

Despite the exhaustion weighing on her, she smiled at the thought. While they’d been with each other every day, it would be the first full day they had when he didn’t need to go in to work for something. Part of her had wanted to blow off going to Bath. Now that his sister was back in town and handling more, he had the entire weekend off, but she’d booked the side trip before she’d even met him, and... Well, he hadn’t asked her to come to his game and meet his friends. And, as wonderful as the last several weeks had been, Meg had no right to put demands on his time or insist on meeting his friends. Nathan probably wanted nothing do with doing anything like that anyway. Why introduce the temporary neighbor he’d been bedding when she’d be gone, and he’d be moving on in no time?

Shaking her head, she pushed off the door and, with a groan, walked into the bedroom. One of the bedside lamps was still on, but given that it was after midnight, the sight of Nathan sleeping with a file resting on his bare stomach wasn’t a huge surprise. The only thing that kept her from crawling into bed, or on him, was she’d told her kids she’d talk with them that night, and she was looking forward to it after a week of schedule conflicts preventing them from connecting.

She went to the dresser and pulled her pajamas from one of the drawers Nathan had given her when she’d moved her things down from the upstairs apartment. After quickly washing and changing, she carefully took the file off of Nathan and set it on the nightstand. She didn’t bother pulling up the blankets from where they were tangled with his legs, knowing they’d be right back there before five minutes had passed. So, she simply brushed the tousled blond hair from his forehead and bent to press a quick kiss to his sleep-warm cheek before straightening and turning off the light.

Once she had her laptop starting up in the living room, she headed into the kitchen to find something to subdue her grumbling stomach. A view of the fridge’s contents made Meg add a trip to the market to her plans for tomorrow. She grabbed the carton of leftover lo mein noodles then a fork from the drawer. Soon, she was curled on the couch, shoveling cold takeout into her mouth, staring at the computer resting on the coffee table, and waiting for the video chat to go through.

Emily’s smiling face appeared, and the teenager waved wildly. “Hi, Mom!”

“Hey, baby, how are you?”

“Good. Went shopping with Aunt Caro. She wanted to buy the ugliest dress, and she is so lucky I was there to stop her, Mom, because yuck. Don’t worry; I steered her in the right direction—you taught me well.”

Meg snorted, amused at her daughter’s immediate launch into her day and by the thought of her sister-in-law, who really did have the worst taste in clothes. She ate a few more bites as Emily continued to talk, filling Meg in on the last week back home.

When her daughter paused to take a breath, she asked, “Where’s Aaron? What’s he up to?”

Emily sighed and rolled her eyes. “Besides being a giant d-bag?”

“Em!”

“Well, he
is
.” She pulled at the sleeve of her sweater, head bowed slightly. “You remember the guy I told you about? Tyler? He finally called.”

Meg shoved aside the little twinge of panic and sadness caused by her daughter getting calls from boys—because that
never
got any easier—and smiled. “He did? And?”

“He asked me out. Nothing special or anything. Just dinner and maybe a movie. I said yes, then
Aaron
,” she said it loudly and full of venom as she looked past the computer, “grabbed the phone and started asking him all these questions. Like where exactly he was taking me, what time was he picking me up, when would I be home, would we be alone? Then,
then
, he starts giving orders, Mom. Telling Tyler that he needed to come in when he picked me up so Aaron could meet him, that he better not bring me home late or treat me badly. It was humiliating.”

Aaron sat beside his sister, in the loose, easy way he had, though Meg noticed the slight clenching of his jaw as he looked at the webcam.

“Hey, Mom. And before you jump all over me, I was perfectly nice to that kid.”

“Nice? You said you wouldn’t have a problem hunting him down and
fucking,
” she whispered the word with a glance at Meg, “him up if he does anything you don’t approve of.”

“How is that not nice?” he asked. “I let him know exactly what would happen if he stepped out of line. No surprises.”

“God, you’re such a—”

“All right, you two,” Meg interrupted, trying not to laugh. “Enough.”

“Just looking out for you,” Aaron said simply, nudging Emily as he sat back. “Older brother’s privilege, and I’m not going to apologize for that.”