Lonely Souls (23 page)

I let myself close my eyes, and I felt the liquid running down the inside of my lids. Taking a deep breath in, I decided to do something unconventional for me. I was going to tell him exactly how I felt.

“Do you know what scares me about this entire thing?” I asked, moving my hands from my face. “I’ve been thinking about it for hours.”

He shook his head, his lips pursed.

“It’s not that you contacted my father and trained with him. It’s not that my father might have known about your connection to me,” I paused, taking in a deep breath. “It’s not even that you kept that information from me for so long. What scares me is that after you told me everything, the first thing that came to my mind was the thought of losing you.”

“Losing me? How?” His deep blue eyes were probing mine with such intensity it was hard to concentrate.

“My father made the choice to leave us. I’m afraid you might too,” I said, quickly looking away. “The pull to the other side seems extreme. It’s something that I can’t understand, but you’ve experienced it.”

Logan pushed his chair back with a crash and darted to my side. Kneeling next to me, he pulled my chin gently toward him so that I couldn’t wriggle out of looking at him.

“I’m not going anywhere. I chose correctly, Triss. Your father was the fool, not I,” he murmured, his eyes blazing. “I don’t know what I can do to prove to you that I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. I have to hope that my actions speak louder than words,” his lips perked up a little in the smug expression I adored and for some reason it made me feel a little better.

“You seemed so distant earlier,” I uttered. “That scared me too.”

“I didn’t mean to be distant. I was thinking about a lot of things not the least of which was being so upset with myself for going down that path of black magic in the first place,” he sighed. “If I never did that, then none of this would even be up for discussion.”

“True, but I probably would’ve been kidnapped or destroyed at the ceremony, so you have your uses,” I grinned slightly.

“Oh, Triss,” he replied, pulling me into him. He placed his lips on top my head, kissing me softly. Finally, my body was beginning to warm up, or maybe it was my heart. I moved my head away from his lips and nuzzled into the perfect spot between his neck and shoulder and was quite satisfied, but then his arms scooped me up from my seat bringing me close to him as he stood up and walked over to the couch.

“I think you’ve been through enough in your short adult life,” he murmured, placing me down on the couch, “to let someone take care of you for a change, at least for tonight.”

The butterflies in my stomach were working overtime as he leaned down to get me situated, and I reprimanded myself for doubting his loyalties. Not all men had to be like my father. Logan stood back up, and I grabbed the seam of his shirt, not wanting him to leave my side.

“Wait. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you,” I said, not letting go of his shirt.

“It would take a lot more than that to hurt me, Triss,” he smiled. “I’m pretty tough.”

“That you are,” I teased, undoing my grip from his shirt.

He rounded up some of the candles I had set around on the different counters, and he brought them over to the coffee table spreading them out in a straight line. He bent down, lighting them all and stared at me through the flames, ensuring I wouldn’t look away.

“Would you like some tea?” he asked.

“I would love some tea.”

“Did you want me to bring over your dinner?” he questioned, as he walked toward the kitchen.

“I’m okay. I don’t really have much of an appetite.”

“That’s a shame because it was quite good,” he said, putting the kettle on the stove. “I’m going to finish mine really quickly while the water heats up.”

I started laughing.

“It’s okay to take time to eat your meal, Logan. You don’t have to hurry.”

“I’ve got my reasons,” he replied.

Once more the thrill began moving through my body at an unstoppable pace. There was something about him, even across the room, which made me want to connect with him on so many levels that I’d never explored before with anyone.

The teakettle began whistling, and he dumped his plate in the sink on his way to turn off the stove.

“Wow, you scarfed that down,” I chuckled.

“Like I said, I’ve got more important things to attend to,” he replied, and the flutter deep inside returned.

“Like?” I asked, just wanting to hear it, needing to hear it.

“You,” his wicked grin returning, knowing full well what I was up to.

Bringing me over the tea, he set it on the table and sat down at the end of the couch. He placed his hand on my ankle, his touch producing an urge I kept at bay.

I looked at the fire, the candles, and Logan. This would be my perfect night, if I was in another world, and none of these other things had happened. If my mom was at home, visiting with Ellsy and my aunt, I’d be able to let myself relax fully and enjoy Logan’s company, but I couldn’t. I felt his desperate gaze on me, and I looked up to see his lips partly open, and my mind immediately thought of the last kiss we shared, and I wondered when I’d ever be allowed to have a moment of peace instead of the constant conflict running through my brain. Logan, not missing anything about me, lifted his hand off my ankle and covered it up with a blanket.

“What’s up?” he asked, probably not wanting to know since we barely ended our last discussion that went south.

“The problem is that when I’m around you, I don’t think straight, and I can’t afford not to be on my game while I try to get my mom back,” I whispered, letting the stone walls build themselves back up around my heart.

“I understand,” he replied, his hand somehow managing to lightly touch the one exposed area on my leg.

“You do?”

He nodded, looking deep into my eyes, stirring up the emotions I just tried to rid myself of. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath in and refocusing my thoughts. His hand left my skin, and I opened my eyes not really wanting him to stop touching me.

His lip tugged slightly. He knew that I wanted him.

“I also understand that what you think is causing your distraction probably isn’t, but there’s nothing I can do about it until the time is right,” he uttered.

“How so?” I asked, wondering where he was going with his latest analysis.

“I think what is causing your distraction more than anything, isn’t me. Rather, it’s that you spend so much time internally fighting the idea of us. If you let things happen naturally there probably wouldn’t be much struggle at all. Things would fall into place or they wouldn’t,” he replied, his eyes shining.

His lips slowly parted as if he was about to say something more, but they closed as he thought better of it.

“You know me pretty well,” I whispered, not completely wanting to admit how accurate he was.

“We’ve known each other for eighteen years, Triss. It was just the last couple where you got a little distant. I didn’t, but you did,” he laughed, making me feel more at ease, as I thought about the idea of not fighting every emotion that washed through me regarding him.

“I think we need to start going through everything you managed to get from the library,” he said, “but not until you’ve had a good night’s sleep. I know I need one after last night.”

“I think I want to sleep on the couch so I’m near the fire,” I said, hoping he would as well.

“I’ll sleep out here too,” he replied, eyeing the chair. I closed my eyes listening to the crackle of the fire, smelling the mixture of wood smoke and the herbs I had set out hours earlier, finally beginning to relax. Before I knew it, I fell fast asleep, dreaming dreams that seemed impossible to obtain, but crucial for my sanity.

Chapter 22

Logan was already at the kitchen table, looking through many of the images I had managed to scan from the library. It was another beautiful mountain day, with the sunshine streaming in through the windows and lifting my spirits. Logan looked like he had taken several pages of notes already. It seemed like weeks had passed since I was snooping around in the coven’s library, but it had only been days. When we were last in town picking up a few supplies, Logan had put out a few calls based on some of the information we found, and we needed to go back to town so he could call them back and see if anything surfaced. That was today’s task. It was kind of nice being where cell service was sketchy. It gave me time to regroup without constant texts and messages.

“How’s it going?” I asked, sitting down next to him.

“You know the Saranac Lake plane ticket?” he asked. “Well, I’m guessing you didn’t know that both of your parents had family there at some point. Looks like your dad had grandparents who were born around that area. Actually, all of your dad’s family was from upstate New York before they moved out west. Your mom also seemed to have a few great-great aunts out there.

“Look at this,” he pointed at one of the pages that showed some of the genealogy listing where family members were born.

“I wonder what’s there now that would involve my mom,” I said, wondering if my father might be living there but not wanting to say.

“I think we’re getting closer, Triss. I really do,” he replied, grabbing my hand.

“I’m starting to become really frightened that my mom left not wanting to be found,” I whispered softly, my head starting to feel fuzzy.

“I don’t think that, and I never have,” he said. “Let’s not start jumping to conclusions. We’ll just keep digging until we find the answers.”

“Thanks, Logan,” I replied.

“For what?” he asked.

“For filling me up with the hope that keeps depleting,” I replied.

He nodded. “Let’s go to town, so I can make those calls.”

“Sounds perfect.” I kissed him quickly on the cheek before I realized what I had done.

“It’s a good thing I’ve learned not to read anything into your actions.” He smiled coyly, his brow peaked in suspicion, and I turned away.

“Imagine having to
live
in my mind. It’s a wonder I haven’t gone off the deep end,” I retorted.

“Who said you haven’t?” he came up behind me, surprising me, as he wrapped his arms around my waist. His grasp was firm, as his hands slid their way through my belt loops to spin me around.

“I want to return the favor, if you’ll allow me?” he asked, his eyes brooding, creating a tingle through my body that I was certain he could feel.

I was trapped, not by force, but by the connection that was getting harder to ignore. I didn’t want to move.

“You sound so formal, Mr. Greene,” I laughed.

“Do I?” he murmured, as his lips slowly floated down to mine.

I closed my eyes as the softness of his mouth stirred the desires deep within my soul. Maybe town could wait.

Abruptly, his lips left mine, and he released my waist. I wasn’t done, but he left me wanting more—much more.

“Let’s get going,” he replied, grabbing his wallet from the counter. I was certain he was trying to hide a smile.

“Uh, sure,” I mumbled, falling into his plan perfectly and not minding one bit.

***

Logan parallel parked along Main Street, and I hopped out of the car. The town closest to our cottage almost didn’t even qualify as a town, but it had a grocery store, a hardware store, a secondhand boutique, a drugstore, three cafes, and as many coffee shops. No matter where one landed in Washington, there was always coffee nearby.

“Wanna grab some lunch first?” Logan asked, closing his door.

“Yeah, let’s go to the sandwich shop,” I said, pointing across the street.

We were in the heart of lunch hour, only you’d never guess that by looking around. It wasn’t like the city where people lined up out the door from 11:30 a.m. through 1:30 p.m. to grab their food before finishing their daily grind. There were a few scattered patrons, mostly retirees, because they had the luxury to live wherever they wanted without thinking of a commute. We sat by the front window, and the warmth of the sun shining through the glass felt really nice.

“So before you so rudely interrupted me at the cottage with those dangerous lips of yours…,” I began.

“Dangerous, huh?” he leaned back in the chair, providing far too much goodness for me to be able to enjoy. As long as he doesn’t stretch, I should be fine.

“Yes, dangerous,” I scrunched my face at him, playfully. “What’s your feeling on everything? I mean regardless of who, when, where, or why, if she doesn’t want to be found, can she be?”

“Anyone can be found.” His eyes catching mine.

The server came over to take our order. She was dressed in a pair of khakis and a T-shirt. I think she also worked at one of the coffee shops down the road. She started looking at me closely, her eyes narrowing slightly. I wondered if it was because I was taking too long to order off the menu since I forgot to look and figure out what I wanted.

“You go first,” I said to Logan, while I shifted in my seat.

“I’d like the Southwest Chicken Sandwich with potato salad,” he replied, noticing her reaction.

“I’d like the same,” I replied.

“Are you Triss Spires?” The waitress finally blurted out. I was completely taken aback.

“Yes, that’s me,” I replied, noticing Logan’s grip on the table tightening.

“Honey, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom,” she shook her head. “This is on the house.”

There was no way my mom’s disappearance would have made it up here, and Logan was thinking the same thing.

“Thank you,” I replied curtly. “May I ask how you knew about my mother? Seattle’s a long way from here.”

Grabbing the menus from us, she looked over at Logan and then back at me. “A young guy came in a few days ago with a flyer, and your picture was on it along with your mother’s,” she replied. “He was asking all sorts of questions like if any us of had seen you or your mom around recently. Actually, it was kind of odd because he was about your age, and he didn’t give any reason for it. It felt like he was fishing for information for no real purpose and having your picture on there was odd. I actually called it in to the Seattle police.”