Long Hot Summoning (19 page)

“You ask who I am?” The silver-haired man with the corpse-colored eyes leaned forward. “I am your worst nightmare.”

“My worst nightmare?” Diana repeated. She hauled herself up onto her feet, hoping Kris realized that, as much as she wanted to spend the next ten minutes doing nothing but reassuring herself that the other girl was okay, duty called. “Dude, you’ve never been to high school. You’ve never had that ‘sitting down to a final exam and realizing you never actually went to the class’ dream, have you? Or had your bladder haul up the ’I really have to pee, but the only toilet I can find is in the middle of the main hall and classes are changing‘ scenario. Or done the ’scenes from the most boring Canadian short stories ever written start coming to life in freshman English.‘

Oh, wait . . .” She frowned, wiping her bloody nose on her sleeve. “. . . that last one actually happened. But the point is ...” Arms folded, she met the eyes of the man on the throne. “. . . you are so not my worst nightma . . .” The front pincers of her buglike captor smacked her behind the knees, and she went down hard.

Ow. Ow. And OW!
Marble floors didn’t get softer with repeated impact.

Hissing with pain as she propped herself up on a bruised elbow, she gave the enemy her best “get over yourself” expression. Six months with Sam had made it pretty effective. “If it means that much to you, you can be a bad dream and work your way up.”

He smiled almost pleasantly. “I recognize bravado when I hear it, Keeper.

Brave words from a little girl in way over her head.” Diana sighed. “Look, seriously, I really don’t know who you are. If you want me . . . us,” she corrected as, beside her, Kris struggled to her knees, “to cower in terror, it would work a lot better if we knew to whom we were cowering. So, if you could,
please
tell us your name.”

“Please?” His snort was elegant, aristocratic, and dismissive. “Did you honestly think so simple a magic would work on me?”

“Can’t blame me for trying.”

“I could kill you for trying,” he pointed out reasonably. “And if you do not know my name, I am not so foolish I will give you the power of it.”

“Okay, but head bad guy? Nasty number one? So not terrifying.”

“Not,” Kris agreed, and Diana flashed her a pleased smile for being willing to play. If they could get the guy’s name, if they could find out
anything
about him, she might be able to do something. Given that she wasn’t allowed to access the possibilities, she wasn’t sure what, but something. She was fairly sure her subconscious agreed his ass needed serious kicking. Unfortunately, at the moment, her subconscious was busy having mild hysterics about the giant bugs.

“If you want terrifying, Keeper, I’m willing to oblige, but, for now, there are only two things you need to know.” Sitting back, he flicked a pale finger into the air.

“The first is that you live now only because I have not ordered your death. The second . . .” A second finger joined the first. “. . . is that you have failed. You have not shut down the segue, and the darkness will gain entry through it to your world.”

“Okay, one . . .” Diana flicked the second finger on her right hand back at him. “... I haven’t failed yet,
and
I’m not the only one fighting you.”

“If you speak of your sister, we can defeat her as easily as we have defeated you. More easily, I suspect, as you have by far the greater power. It was your Summons; you were your world’s best hope, and here you are. If you speak of your little friend ...” He inclined his head graciously toward Kris and then jerked it back a lot less gracefully as she spat a mouthful of blood almost into his lap. “... her companions, or the Immortal King, they are even now being dealt with. The Immortal King will die and after, as always happens, the fellowship of those he leads will not survive his death. That is, after all, in the Rules.”

“What’s he talking about?” Kris demanded.

Diana touched her lightly on the arm. “I’ll tell you later.”

“You may not have a later.”

“Up yours.”

A brilliant and speculative smile. “Perhaps.”

Was he hitting on her? He was hitting on her. Eww.

“But for now, let’s have a look at the weapons you brought to the battle.”

“What weapons?” Diana demanded. “Your bugs totally trashed Kris’ slingshot and dumped her quiver back in the access corridor when they grabbed us.” He shook his head and pointed at ...

She couldn’t stop herself from looking down.

. . . her belt pouch. So much for subterfuge. Still, in order to take it off her, he’d have to come close enough to grab. It was possible that direct physical contact could work in her favor-darkside and lightside canceling each other out until only the more powerful remained. While willing to admit that finesse was not her strong point, Diana was fairly sure that in a contest involving raw potential, she’d be the last one standing.

Unfortunately, it seemed that she wasn’t the only one who thought so.

The bug shoved one of its smaller serrated legs between the strap and her waist. A quick sawing motion and it caught the belt pouch in its pincer as it fell. A quick twist scattered bits of the pouch and her defensive possibilities over the base of the dais.

“A few keys. Some seeds. Thread. A watch face. All primed and ready to be used. Such a shame if these fell into the wrong hands, Keeper.” He laughed at the wand which looked even more pink and plastic than usual against the black marble.

“Oh, wait; you also brought a toy sent out to spread discord amongst the great unskilled.” He shook his head. “You thought you could defeat me with this?” Since it seemed to be a rhetorical question, Diana settled for glaring. He would have felt the power discharge when she defeated the dark elf, but he clearly didn’t realize the wand had directed it. That might give them an advantage later. If they had a later . . .

Frowning, he looked down at the last item, a white, paper-wrapped cylinder that had bounced away from the rest. “And what,” he demanded, “is this?”

“You don’t want to know.”

Kris snickered.

“On the contrary.” A gesture brought a meat-mind out from where it had been lurking, the torches throwing its shadow around the room as it moved. Another gesture had it bend and pick the paper cylinder off the floor. “Do you tell me, or do I have my minion use it against you?”

Diana sighed. “It’s a tampon.”

The meat-mind blinked, looked down at what it was holding, and dropped it, shaking its fingers free of any contamination.

“Oh, please. It’s not like it’s been used.”

“Guys,” Kris snorted.

“Really.”

“Perhaps,” snarled the man on the throne, his lip curled in disdain, “you’ll find the situation less amusing after a little torture.”

“With a tampon?”

The disdain became confusion. “What?”

“You’re going to torture us with a
tampon
?” Became distaste. “Stop saying that!”

“Saying what?” Diana asked. “Tampon?”

“Feminine hygiene product?” Kris offered.

“Maxi pad?”

“Cramps.”

“Bloating.”

“Clotting.”

“Yeah, I hate it when that happens.”

He stared at them for a long moment, eyes wide and disbelieving. “Nice girls do not talk about those kinds of things!”

“But torture, that’s okay?”

“Double standards of the patriarchy,” Kris growled.

His grip tightened on the arms of the throne to the point where already pale knuckles whitened. “Get them out of here!”

Diana yanked at the chains securing her wrist cuffs to the wall and sighed. “I hate to say it, but the nameless nasty was right; this is already less amusing.”

“Are they really going to torture us?” Kris panted, hanging limp and exhausted. It was fairly clear they wouldn’t be able to kick, twist, or thrash their way to freedom.

“Probably.” If she only had the wand. It was times like this, chained to a wall by the nameless evil who planned to use a shopping mall to take over the world, that a few hours of unconsciousness followed by a little puking started to look good. “First they’ll leave us here to think about it for a while.”

“You know what? I’m thinking about it. And you know what I’m thinking?

I’m thinking I don’t want to be tortured!”

“Who does?”

Kris found the strength for another yank at the chains. “So do something!”

“Like what?” Diana demanded, sagging back against the rough rock. “If I reach into the possibilities to free us, I break one of the big Rules. If I break a big Rule, that opens the way for them to break a big Rule and you really don’t want that to happen.”

“Hey! Read my lips, I really don’t want to be tortured either!”

“So
you
do something!”

“You’re the freakin‘ wizard!” Kris slapped her chains against the wall for emphasis.

“It’s Keeper! Now stop yelling at me and let
me
think! Just because you couldn’t come up with something useful doesn’t mean I can’t!” Their breathing sounded unnaturally loud in the silence that followed.

Finally, Diana sighed. “Sorry. It’s just . . .”

“Yeah. I know.”

She turned to see Kris frightened and battered but almost smiling at her.

“You’re supposed to be saving the world, not just hangin‘ around here with me.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here. Not, here . . . here.” Diana winced as Kris’ eyebrows rose. “I mean, I’m glad I’m not alone.”

“For what it’s worth, I’d rather you were.”

Diana sighed again as Kris returned to yanking the chain. This was not going well on a number of levels; personal, professional, and probably a few other “p” words she’d come up with later. If they had a later.

They’d been chained in an alcove hacked out of the limestone walls not far from the throne room. Chained and abandoned; they hadn’t seen meat-minds or bugs since.

“How long do you think we’ve been here?”

Diana twisted her wrist until she could see her watch. “About six minutes.”

“Seems longer.”

“Yeah.”

The torches across from their alcove flickered although the air was still. In the distance, something screamed.

“So, about those Rules.”

When Diana turned, Kris’ expression announced
I’m not fuckin‘ scared
as loudly as if she was shouting the words. The profanity was particularly obvious. “You want me to tell you about them
now?”

Her upper lip curled. “You going somewhere?”

“Well, no.” Maybe defining a few metaphysical parameters was just the kind of distraction they needed. Maybe not, but it was all she had. Kris didn’t seem like the type to be interested in “the cute things my cat’s done lately” or what Ms. Harris and the graduating president of the chess club had been doing with two tubes of acrylic paint and a number three sable in the art supply closet on the last day of school.

Which had only been... ? Diana counted back. She’d traveled to Kingston on Friday; the same day school’d ended. They’d crossed over into the Otherside mall on Saturday. Was it still Saturday and, if so, which Saturday? That whole “time was relative” thing made her want to hurl-although in this instance the urge to hurl likely had more to do with the bug leg-arm? limb?-that had impacted with her stomach.

Bruises were rising even . . .

“Hey!” Part summons, part protest, it yanked her wandering attention back to the alcove.

“Right. The Rules. The uh, the Rules impose order on the chaos of metaphysics. Magic,” she amended catching sight of bravado becoming impatience.

“Right here and now, the biggest Rule to remember is that the Otherside is neutral ground, so neither good nor evil can control it.”

“Why would evil give a shit?”

“‘Because when you break the Rules, you sow the seeds of your own destruction. That’s also in the Rules.”

Kris snorted. “I think I read it in a fortune cookie.”

“Could have.” The lineage liked to spread the platitudes around.

“Although I’m sure it would be all awe inspiring or something if we weren’t chained to a fuckin‘ wall.”

Diana thought about it for a moment, squinting up at the flakes of rust raining off the eyebolt as she yanked her chain against it. “Probably not,” she admitted.

“So what about that whole bad guys gotta gloat‘ thing?”

“Just basic psychology according to my mother. What’s the point of being an evil genius if there’s no one to tell?”

“No point, I guess.”

They hung in silence for a few minutes, then Kris muttered, “That dude on the throne, he didn’t seem like the genius type.”

“He didn’t seem like much of anything,” Diana agreed. As far as a meeting of good and evil was concerned, it was kind of a nonevent. “The bugs were cool, in an
oh, gross, get it off me, get it off me
kind of way, but he was bland. Boring.

Disappointing, even.”

“Except that, you know, he won.”

“Yeah. Except for that.”

Off to the left of their alcove, claws skittered against stone, evoking an interlude of panicked struggles to be free. After a while, when the claws came no closer, both girls relaxed.

“It’s the fuckin‘ waiting,” Kris snarled, kicking at the wall with the heel of her cross trainers. “Why didn’t they just whack us and get it over with?”

“I think they need us for something.”

“What? Getting their rocks off while we get peeled?” Diana considered that for a moment. “No,” she decided at last, “that’s too direct for the Otherside.” The first time she’d crossed over, Claire had tried to make her understand that the shortest distance between two points was usually the long way around. Then she’d added that Diana was never, ever to think about the Smurf village again. Their mother had been furious about all the blue gunk on their shoes. “Plans on this side are always a lot twistier.”

“Okay, so if you breaking a Rule lets them break a Rule, then maybe they’re putting you in a spot where you gotta break a Rule to get free. You know, so they can break a Rule.”

Diana turned to stare at the other girl. “That’s brilliant.”

“Don’t sound so fuckin‘ surprised,” Kris snorted. Her eyes widened. “Wait; you mean I’m right?”