Long Road Home, The (10 page)

Abby’s very real fear of Paul developing pneumonia kept her near him about twice as much as before. They got along relatively well and even began to talk some.

Somehow sensing that Paul did in fact know Christ but was living in a very bitter, walled-off world, Abby prayed to be used in some way to bring him back into full fellowship with God. She knew if he was God’s child, God would not give up on him. Every day she prayed for strength to treat him with Christ’s love, knowing she was again striving to keep her promise.

Abby did finally make it to church with the Becketts and found herself very disappointed. Ian had had such love for his congregation. Loving your flock meant working beside them, being willing to come out of your clean church and pulpit and soil your hands alongside a neighbor who needed Christ. Abby knew that looks could be deceiving, but she wondered if the man in the pulpit that morning, droning on about the terrible state of the world, had ever worked a day in his life.

Abby smiled to herself as she realized how much living with Ian had made her think like he had.

“Want to share that smile?” The question came from Lenore as they walked behind the men.

“I was thinking of my husband.”

“Can you talk about him yet?”

“It’s getting easier. Ian was a pastor, so I can’t attend church without seeing him in the pulpit and missing him so much it hurts.”

Abby noticed absently that Lenore was slowing her step down, and when she spoke the men were quite a bit ahead of them. “Ross is a good boy, Abby. I know we spoil him, but Sam has had to do nothing but work all his life. He never really had a childhood and time for boyish pranks. Ross will be 18 soon, and that’s the time Sam always felt he would start pushing him toward some type of work. Sometimes I think Sam is more married to the mill than he is to me, he spends so much time there. It was a miracle he was even at the house when you came that first day. But for all his time there, I don’t think he’s set on having Ross take his place.

“I know you must think my tongue is running on both ends, but when Ross drove me to the bank yesterday we passed one of the girls Ross has been interested in for years. He didn’t even look at her. Abby, I think Ross is in love with you.”

Abby stopped dead in her tracks and stared at Lenore. She had wondered where this conversation had been heading, but never had she suspected this. Oh, she hadn’t missed the looks Ross gave her. How could she not see the way his eyes followed her every time they were in the same room? But did Lenore think Abby was encouraging him?

“Lenore, I think Ross is a fine young man but I never...”

“Oh Abby, I know you haven’t encouraged him. I never thought that, but Ross is vulnerable where you are concerned. For all his cocky ways, Ross is very close to us. And well, you’re like a mother/ lover figure all tied into one. He loves your tender ways one minute, and then the way you boss him around the next. He’s also more than a little attracted to your looks. I think he’s feeling things he’s never felt before. I see it in his eyes and the way he can’t keep them off you.

“And Abby, there is one more thing. He told me he’s never heard anyone talk about God the way you do. There’s no doubt in my mind my son is fascinated and, at the very least, infatuated with you.”

The women had resumed their pace and the men, noticing their having dropped back, were waiting up ahead. “Thank you, Lenore, for telling me what you feel. I would never do anything to hurt Ross. I care for Ross, but my feelings for him are not serious. If his are, then he’s going to be hurt no matter what. Maybe I should move Mr. Cameron. We could possibly...”

“Oh Abby, I never intended you to think such a thing. I just wanted you to be aware. I know you’ll be sensitive to his feelings.” They were close to the men now, and Lenore finished with a kind smile.

Abby watched husband and wife exchange a look as Lenore slipped her arm through Sam’s. Lenore had obviously discussed it with her spouse in their concern for a son they loved very much. Ross saw none of the glances passed between his parents. As usual, he had eyes only for Abby.

The day was warm and sunny and Abby had a hard time keeping her secret while serving Paul his breakfast.

“You look rather pleased with yourself. What sinister deed are you planning against me now?”

Abby attempted an indignant look. “I can’t imagine what you’re talking about. And I have never been sinister!”

Paul was not the least bit fooled, but he said no more. He watched her closely. It wasn’t hard to do with her cheeks glowing in good health, her complexion, peaches-and-cream. Her dress was a pale green, and Paul’s eyes kept straying to her hair.

“How long is your hair?” She had checked on him in the nights with it unbound, but the lamp was always low.

She looked up in surprise, and Paul remembered she thought he didn’t find her the least bit attractive. Well, she was wrong. At times he was angry with her because she was strong and healthy and Corrine was dead, but he was attracted to her. He had even found himself trying to talk to God about his feelings the night before.

Abby never did answer his question. She was well-experienced in ignoring questions of a personal nature from her patients.

Not until after she left did Paul realize he had not wormed out of her what mischief she had been planning. He hadn’t long to wait. Half an hour later the woman he had come
know as Anna the cook came in with a smile and removed his tray. She left the door standing open as she exited and Abby came through promptly, pushing a wheeled chair.

Her smile was so triumphant that Paul laughed. His laugh had a rusty sound to it but was so beautiful that Abby felt tears sting her eyes.

“You, Mr. Cameron,” she said quickly to cover her emotions, “are going to get out of that bed today.” She pushed the chair close to the bed and took some clothing out of the seat. “Can you manage this or would you like some help?”

Paul took her offer of help, and within a short time was ready to be moved into the chair. It took some maneuvering, but with a lot of grunting and some pain, Paul found himself seated in the chair. The farthest he had been thus far was to the side of the bed to dangle his legs for only a few seconds. The new position caused him some dizziness, but Abby had expected this and was very close, her arms supporting him.

Paul opened his eyes to find her so close that the desire to kiss her was nearly irresistible. But he was an expert at hiding his feelings, and Abby felt in no way threatened.

“Are you okay?”

He nodded and then caught his breath when she smiled at him. Sparkling white teeth shone out at him, framed by the lovely curve of her mouth, and Paul wanted to crush her in his arms.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Abby asked again, having misinterpreted the gasp.

He was thinking he wouldn’t be if she didn’t put some space between them, but he refrained from commenting. Another nod was her answer, and Abby moved to steer the chair toward the door, hoping she wasn’t rushing him.

“Where are we headed?” It was easier to talk with her behind him.

“You’ll see,” was the mysterious reply.

Paul had been wondering what the rest of the house looked like and was sure he was about to find out. Abby had other ideas, and Paul soon saw that he was being steered outside. “She has been busy,” he thought when they reached the back steps that led to the garden, for Ross had rigged a type of ramp over the stairs and was waiting to help Abby with the chair and ease the ride over the bumps.

Thinking he had been set free, Paul breathed deeply of the fresh air in the garden. Ross pushed the chair out to the iron bench and parked it so it was facing where he and Abby would sit.

They talked quietly for a while, but mostly just basked in the warmth of the morning sun and enjoyed the beautiful colors of the garden. The Becketts had a gardener so everything was in perfect order. Abby wondered what that might be like—having a cook that came in every day, a gardener during the week, and once a week two women to clean things from top to bottom.

Abby hadn’t had to do a bit of laundry since she arrived. When she pinned down Mr. Beckett one night about payment, he wouldn’t even talk to her about it. “Grant would do the same for my family” was all he would say.

As usual, Ross hung on Abby’s every word and was kind to a fault. Abby knew he wished he was older. That was unfortunate because it wouldn’t have made a bit of difference. Abby believed with all her heart she would never love again.

Ross had told his father he would run some errands for him, and so he said he would have to help Paul back into the house now. The disappointment on Paul’s face was so keen that Abby said she was sure she could do it on her own. Ross looked skeptical, but he had to be on his way and soon Paul and Abby were alone.

Ross couldn’t have been more than two feet out of earshot when Paul said, “He’s in love with you.”

Abby looked away into the garden, her cheeks heating slightly. He probably thinks it’s hilarious, Abby thought, that the boy is so desperate he’s fallen for a fat old redhead. That this was the farthest thought from Paul’s mind, Abby was not to know.

“He’s young and I’ve never encouraged him.”

“I’m sure you haven’t” was Paul’s surprising reply.

The birds sang and the breeze rustled some of the leaves. Abby turned to look at the man across from her. He really was incredibly handsome. His eyes were a shade of deep blue-green, clear and solemn in the sunlight. A lock of dark hair fell over his forehead, and Abby had the urge to brush it back.

The eyes and hair, combined with a perfectly shaped fore-head and nose, atop a mouth that did not smile enough, and added to all of that a strong jaw and chin: In Abby’s mind Paul Cameron was gorgeous. But he wasn’t Ian.

She was sure if the men stood side by side Paul would be the better-looking, but he didn’t look at her with eyes of love. He wasn’t the man that made her heart thunder in her chest when he walked into a room. He wasn’t the man of God who was a fine leader and head of their home. She liked Paul more than she had ever thought possible, but he just wasn’t Ian.

“How long has he been gone?” It was as though he read her mind.

“Forever,” she whispered.

“I know.” Paul’s reply was equally soft. “His name was Ian?”

“Ian Finlayson Jr.”

“Is Ian Finlayson Sr. alive?”

Abby had dreamed again of her father-in-law just the night before, and a shiver ran over her.

Paul’s hand came out to touch her arm. “What is it?”

Abby so wanted to talk with someone, and his voice was so kind, his look so tender.

“My father-in-law was devastated over Ian’s death. He blames me and I left Canada because I was afraid of what he would do. I’ve been having dreams about him coming after me, and sometimes I feel terrified.”

“Why does he blame you?”

“I led Ian to Christ shortly after we met, and he studied to be a minister after we were married. He took a church in his hometown because he was so burdened for his father’s salvation. We were living with Ian’s folks because we couldn’t afford a place of our own. Ian’s father didn’t like what had become of his son, but he loved him very much and was willing to hold his peace because he could see how happy Ian and I were.

“One night a woman who attended our church came and said her son and husband were having a terrible row. She begged Ian to come. It was an accident, everyone agreed, but it didn’t change the fact that Ian was dead. The son had pulled a gun and Ian was hit. I was told he didn’t live longer than a few minutes.”

So few words, Paul thought, so few words to describe so much pain. “Is there really a chance Ian’s father would come after you?”

“I’m not sure. After the funeral he was so angry. He said he wished I were dead.”

They sat in silence, and Abby couldn’t believe how much better she felt. Talking to someone, having shared her burden, lifted the weight from her shoulders.

Abby wondered if Paul would ever share with her. She hoped he would feel free, but he said nothing, just looked at her with eyes of compassion and concern. What a wonderful pastor he would make, Abby thought, but she kept the thought to herself. It was nearing noon and time to head in.