Long Road Home, The (14 page)

Ross paced the train station platform like a caged animal. Hoping he would want to go north with them, Paul hadn’t expected such an enthusiastic response and was glad he hadn’t asked any further in advance. Ross would never have withstood the wait.

“Is that the train?”

“Ross, that’s the fourth time you’ve asked,” Abby said with amusement.

“Oh, is it? I guess I’m a little excited.”

Paul and Mr. Beckett were a little further down the platform, and Mr. Beckett’s words were the same as his son’s. “I don’t know when I’ve seen him so excited. He’s quite taken with you and Abby. I hope he’ll behave himself.”

“I’m sure we’ll all get along fine. Ross has a heart for God and His will, and I know it’ll be a good trip.”

“Yes, well,” Mr. Beckett stumbled a bit each time he was reminded that this man was a preacher, “you’re sure you have enough money?”

“We’re fine, thank you.”

“I’ve given Ross some. Don’t hesitate to ask him.”

“Thank you, Mr. Beckett. You have done more than enough. Please let me tell you again how I appreciate the way you opened your home to us. I praise God for your and Mrs.
Beckett’s hospitality, and I’ll be remembering you in prayer long after we’re apart.”

Sam Beckett looked at the younger man in silence and felt once again amazed. Paul Cameron went against every preconceived notion he had ever had about preachers. He was not helpless or feminine or trying to shove a Bible down your throat, but he was a man of God—there was no doubt about that. Ross could do a lot worse than Paul and Abby as traveling companions—a lot worse.

He would have trusted Abby with Ross’ life, and now with Paul Cameron by her side, he hoped his son would come back ready to settle into a career of some kind.

Liking the idea of Ross becoming a lawyer, Sam nevertheless said little. Just about the time he confirmed the idea in his own mind, Ross was sure to change his. There was no predicting young people these days.

The train rumbled into the station not much later. Sam shook hands with Paul and hugged Abby. They climbed aboard and took seats. Ross and Sam faced one another outside the train.

“You look like I’m never coming back, Dad,” Ross joked lightly.

“Oh, I think you’ll be back. I just don’t know who you’ll be when you get here.” Ross looked at him in confusion. “Don’t get me wrong, Ross. The changes are good ones. They’re just surprising.”

“I sometimes can’t believe it myself,” Ross said, now understanding his dad’s meaning. “I mean, I’m learning things about myself I never knew and well, like you said, changing.”

“Well, son, you’re young and it was bound to happen.”

“What’s happened to me, Dad, has nothing to do with my age,” Ross told his father in the most serious voice Sam had ever heard from him. “Anyone can know Christ, Dad. And He
is the One who makes the changes.” Suddenly Ross’ arms were tight around his father. He gave him a long, hard hug. Sam heard the words “I love you” whispered in his ear just before Ross broke away and boarded the train.

They waved to Sam from the windows as the train pulled out, heading north. Ross sat back in his seat facing Abby. Paul was at his side by the window.

“Ross, did you get a chance to talk with your mom?” Abby asked in kindness.

“Yes, Abby, thanks. I’ll tell you about it later.”

Abby accepted this without question and Ross appreciated it. Having just said good-bye to his father, he felt a little teary and was afraid that talking of his mother would have him crying on the train.

Ross had never seen his father so vulnerable. The relationship between them was a little different now, as it was bound to be. Ross felt a pang of hurt at even the slightest estrangement from his parents, whom he loved dearly. He couldn’t be sorry for seeing his need for a Savior and believing in Jesus Christ. Remembering his conversation with his mother, he prayed right then that someday he would have the words to cause her to think about eternity.

“Mom, I’m leaving tomorrow, and I don’t want to go with you upset.”

“But I’m not upset with you, Ross,” Lenore had genuinely assured him.

“Well, maybe not, but ever since I told you and Dad about my salvation, well, you’ve been preoccupied.”

“I guess it does make me feel a little strange to have you talk about God the way you do and pray at meals and such.”

“Does it feel funny when you talk to Abby or Paul?”

“No, I guess it doesn’t. But Paul is a minister and Abby was a minister’s wife. I guess I somehow expect it of them. With you I just feel as though there is something you and I can’t share, and we’ve always been so close.”

Ross had been unsure of what to say. In her unsaved state there was indeed something they could not share. But he still loved her unreservedly.

She went on while he was still thinking of an answer. “I feel like you don’t need us anymore.”

“Oh, Mom! Never think that. I need you and love you so much. I’ll miss you more than I can say on this trip, and I hope we can talk more when I get back.”

Ross could still envision his mother’s indecisive face, but she had hugged him tightly and told him she loved him too. Now Ross’ father, probably back home by now, was in Ross’ mind as he had left him—standing by the train waving with a mixture of confused joy on his face. “It’s no wonder he looked confused,” Ross thought with regret, “I’ve probably never told him that I love him.”

As the train rocked down the tracks, Ross prayed for his parents. “Please, Lord, lead them to You. Use me to show them their need. Please, God, save my parents.”

The trip was not too long, but the nearer the three travelers came to Bayfield, the more restless Paul became. The men had dozed for a time, but now the inactivity of hours on the train was making Paul squirm. Abby strongly suspected he was a bit unsure of his reception, and it was showing in the way he constantly shifted and with his preoccupied stare out the window.

Abby searched her mind for some subject with which to distract him. They had exhausted just about every one, and the basket of food Anna had sent along was nearly depleted.

“Paul, you’ve never shared how you came to be a pastor,” Abby said as the thought suddenly came to her. “Had you wanted to preach from boyhood?”

“I wish I had known from boyhood,” Paul said with a small smile. Abby looked at him so expectantly, and he could see that Ross was all ears too, so Paul began his story.

“My mother died when I was nine, and even though I knew she was going to heaven, I was devastated. The only thing that helped me hang on was knowing I would see her again. I think it was then that I started wondering about people who didn’t know whether they would see their loved ones again. But I was pretty young and not able to really handle such thoughts. I did my best not to dwell on them.

“Well, anyway, my older sister Julia took over most of the responsibilities of the house then. We were all a little busier, but she did most of the work even though she was only 12. She still had to go to school, but she was expected to cook and clean plus make trips to town for supplies. Well, I think she was around 15 when she came home from town one day with a sparkle in her eyes. She had seen our neighbor John MacDonald in the general store. Now, I don’t think that Julia seeing Mac—that’s what we call him—was anything new. But Mac hadn’t really
seen
Julia for a few years, and suddenly she was this tall, beautiful young woman.

“That night after supper Mac came to the ranch. It was more than a little obvious he was interested in Julia. Julia returned his attention; in fact, she didn’t take her eyes off him all evening.

“Unfortunately, Mac wasn’t a believer. He was honest, hardworking and a good neighbor, but he didn’t know Christ. My father was adamant about Julia not seeing him again.

“Julia was crushed, but I don’t think she even considered disobeying. Oh, she was always full of mischief—still is, but she wasn’t willful to our father. Well, the next night Mac came again. My father kept all of us boys off the porch. I don’t know what she said, but Mac didn’t stay very long, and when Julia came in she went right to her room for the night.

“I’ll never forget the change in her after that. I guess because I lost my mother when I was so young, Julia just naturally filled her place in my life. At the time I never stopped to think that she had needs of her own. She just always took care of us, made sure I washed behind my ears, had clean clothes, and well, was just a mother to me. But all of that changed the day after Mac left.

“Julia was preoccupied, and I felt like I’d lost my mother all over again. She didn’t talk to me very much or check up on me like she had. I knew it had something to do with Mac,
but no one would tell me anything and I felt helpless and rejected.

“I wasn’t the only one to see a difference in her. My father lit into her one night about her moping around the house and threatened to work her fingers to the bone if she didn’t work on her attitude and get back in the family. Even as much as I wanted the ‘old’ Julia back, I thought he’d been pretty rough on her.

“Things did get better then—better for everyone but Julia. She bent over backward to keep things in order for all of us and totally neglected herself. She never sat down to a meal with us unless my father insisted, and she began losing weight. She would play games with me anytime I wanted, but I knew it was keeping her from her work and I stopped asking.

“I can’t remember how much time went by, but I came in the kitchen one day to find her on the floor. I thought she was dead. By the time I found my dad in the barn, I was hysterical. She was still unconscious when my dad and brothers ran to the house. Luke and Silas went for our grandfather who was the doctor in town.

“I didn’t want to leave Julia. I was sure she was going to die, and I knew if I left her side it would happen while I was gone.” Paul fell silent for a moment as he thought of those days by Julia’s bed. The helpless feeling he had experienced when Corrine was bedridden came rushing back to Paul so fast it brought a pain to his chest.

Abby and Ross studied him. Abby would have allowed Paul the silence. Being more informed than Ross, she knew where his thoughts were centered. But Ross was totally absorbed in the story.

“Was Julia alright?”

The question brought Paul back to the present, and he was thankful for the distraction. “Yes, Ross, she was alright, but it
took about three days. My grandmother came and ran the household, and my grandfather only left her side to see to emergency situations. I kept a constant vigil near her; in fact, I cried uncontrollably if they tried to remove me.

“Well, Julia’s fever broke and still I stayed by her side. As she regained her strength, she began to talk with me. I was amazed to learn she wasn’t upset with our father. Her breakdown was over what Mac thought of her. As I look back now, I’m sorry for the pain Julia had to go through. But I’m not sorry for the result.

“A family discussion was held when Julia was finally out of bed, and my father apologized to Julia for his insensitivity. Silas’ chores in the barn were cut down, and he began to help in the house. The whole thing brought us closer together when, as a family, we began to pray for John MacDonald. Months went by. Julia had some bleak days, but one miraculous Sunday morning Mac walked into church. I said hello to him after the service, but I don’t think he let anyone else get near him.

“Things went on like that for a while. The only change was Julia making us late because she insisted we drive at a snail’s pace so as not to mess her hair. And then our father surprised all of us by asking Mac to Sunday dinner. It was a disaster. Julia burned everything she put on the table—including herself, because she was watching Mac and not where she was pouring the burned gravy.”

“Oh, Paul,” Abby laughed. “I can’t believe it was that bad.”

“I swear to you, Abby. Everything that could go wrong did!”

“And this is all leading up to your becoming a pastor?” Ross looked as skeptical as his question sounded.

“Believe it or not, yes. After Mac left that day, Julia was inconsolable. She cried in her bedroom for hours. My father finally sent for Gram. She and Julia were in that room for a long time. I’ll never forget the scene that day. All of us boys
were sitting in the kitchen when Gram came out alone. She spoke directly to my father.

“‘She’s in love with Mac, Joseph, deeply in love. But it’s more than that. She can’t stand the thought that he’ll die and go to hell. She said dinner was a fiasco and that even if you did invite him back next Sunday, he probably wouldn’t come.’

“I couldn’t get my grandmother’s words out of my head. Mac was going to hell if he didn’t realize his need for Christ. I began to pray that day as I’ve never prayed before. I begged God to save Mac. And then something happened that I never would have dreamed.

“Mac came to church and dinner each Sunday after that, and on one of those days the two of us ended up alone together on the back porch. I was only about 12 at the time, but I knew I was supposed to talk with Mac about salvation. I was scared. Mac had always been so nice, but he was such a big man and I was a little afraid of how he would react if I told him he was a sinner and needed Christ. I really didn’t need to be afraid of anything because Mac was ready and I was the tool God used that day. I quoted some verses to Mac and he, without hesitation, prayed and trusted in Jesus Christ. I worked hard at not letting him see my tears, but he was crying too and we ended up laughing.”

“So you knew then you wanted to be a pastor?”

“No, Ross, not right then, but it was a turning point. When I was older and didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, that day on the porch kept coming to mind. Mark, from as far back as I could remember, wanted to be a doctor. Luke and Silas’ strongest desire was to work with the horses. Julia married Mac and I went through some indecisive years, but God kept reminding me of that remarkable day. I never had more peace in my life than when I told my family I was going to seminary.
I knew I wanted to spend my life telling people like Mac that they needed God.”

As though Paul had planned it, the train rolled into Bayfield just as he was finishing his story. Within minutes the three of them stood on the station platform. Ross looked about with the avid interest of a teenager, whereas Paul and Abby were both quiet, alone with their thoughts. Wishing she could take Paul’s hand and reassure him, Abby felt all would be well. Paul, as the memories began to assail him, wondered if he was going to be able to handle this task God had called him to do.