Long Road Home, The (15 page)

Abby felt Paul’s hand move beneath her arm as he began to lead them away from the train. They each had small traveling bags. Ross, being the gentleman, took Abby’s. Bayfield was nestled on an inlet of Lake Superior and carried with it an air of the lake trade.

As Paul steered his traveling companions in the direction of Lloyd Templeton’s home, the bay with its water-going vessels came into view. Gulls flapped their wings and called to one another in a high-pitched cry overhead. Ross was enthralled.

“I’ve never been this far north before.” His voice sounded a bit breathless. “This is beautiful, I mean, being right on the water and all.”

A few large ships were in port, and the three of them stood and watched the activity on the docks. Barrels and crates were being unloaded. Lines being thrown with shouts and some laughter. The day was a scorcher, and Abby didn’t envy the men their backbreaking task of unloading the ships.

Tightening the hand that was still holding Abby’s arm, Paul indicated he was ready to walk on. Abby wondered if maybe she didn’t hold a bit of security for him. She prayed as they walked—he was so quiet.

They began to climb a hill, and the silence among them deepened. The incline became rather steep before Paul stopped in front of a large two-story home. Abby, having been so intent
on her walking, was not prepared for arriving at the house so quickly. And she was still worried about Paul’s silence.

“Paul,” Abby stopped him with a hand to his arm, “maybe you should go in alone. I mean, if Ross and I will be in the way…what I’m trying to say is—”

“I want you both with me.” Paul cut her off, thinking as he did that he could kiss her for her thoughtfulness. He was feeling very unsure of his welcome but no matter what was said to him, including being told outright that he wasn’t welcome, he still wanted them along.

About an hour later, Paul sat opposite Lloyd Templeton in the study of their home—a home where he had been welcomed without hesitation.

“Some might say, Paul, that you’ve been dealt a bad hand. But I’m a God-fearing man and I don’t believe God handles His children that way. But the fact is that everyone knew the truth about Corrine except you.”

Upon arriving, Mrs. Templeton had shown Ross and Abby where they could freshen up, and Paul and Mr. Templeton had retired to the study. Paul relayed his experiences since they last saw each other and Mr. Templeton had listened with compassion, speaking only when Paul had finished.

“I hate the fact that I was not there that night. They should never have allowed you to leave, but Hugh and Rose were in no shape to reach out to you, not that that excuses the way everything was handled. Never accepting Corrine’s illness, Hugh didn’t allow anyone to talk about it. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you how serious it was.”

The older man stopped talking and watched Paul deal with all he had said. His next words gave Paul hope for a reconciliation with the congregation.

“I’m not saying your leaving the church without notice was right, Paul, but we all understood. You came before us week
after week, and we would have been blind not to see the way you were feeling about Corrine. We also saw Corrine more happy than we ever had and Hugh attending church on a regular basis. When you two were married, everyone went against what they knew to be true and prayed for a miracle, because a miracle was what it would have taken, Paul.

“Now I’m not saying that God doesn’t have enough miracles to go around, Paul, but it just wasn’t His will that Corrine live. I think you know that now.”

Paul nodded silently, thanking God in his heart for this godly man’s words.

“We were a little lost at first when you left, but we continued to meet each Sunday morning for prayer. The first person we prayed for each week was our absentee pastor. Everyone still believes you belong here.”

Paul was beginning to feel a little short of breath as he realized what Lloyd was saying to him. He still had a church! They didn’t think him gone, only absent for a while. “Thank You, Lord. Thank You, Lord.”

Lloyd smiled at the look on his face. “Did you think God would desert us way up here in the north? He knew you were—and still are—the man for this church.”

The sky was growing dusky the next evening when Paul stood outside the Griffin home and marked their name off his list.

He had gone to the home of each member of his congregation that day to talk with them and apologize. Not one family had turned him away. Even though his legs were throbbing, he was exuberant that he could step into the pulpit in the morning with a clear heart.

Paul was about to return the list to his pocket when a name at the bottom caught his attention: Aaron Johnson. Paul remembered then that he hadn’t been home when he stopped. Aaron Johnson was a widower with two children and not a regular attender. Paul was determined to talk with him nonetheless. “Maybe in the morning,” he thought as he started for home. “I can single him out before the service starts.”

Paul was back at the Templetons in time for supper, and everyone listened with joy to his excited account of the day. He shared many of his conversations and ended by saying, “I’ve been selling the people of Bayfield short with my fears of rejection. Everyone has forgiven me without hesitation.” Paul stopped because tears were clogging his throat. The women at the table were in the same condition, and they all ate in silence until dessert.

“The only person I missed,” Paul said through bites of cobbler, “was Aaron Johnson.”

“Oh, Paul, he was here today,” May Templeton cut in. “He just stayed a few minutes to drop something off. But I told him you were back and introduced him to Ross and Abby.”

“Well, I’m glad he knows I’m back. Maybe I can speak with him in the morning.”

“And Joseph said unto them, ‘Fear not; for am I in the place of God?’” These were Paul’s first words in his sermon the next morning. Aaron Johnson had come, and Paul spoke with him. There had been much visiting and sharing which Paul had no intention of interrupting even though they were late starting. As he was coming to expect of these fine people, they made Ross and Abby feel most welcome.

But now a few songs had been sung and some announcements made and Paul was ready to preach. “The words I just read to you out of Genesis 50 were the words Joseph spoke to his brothers. They are words of forgiveness—forgiveness to these brothers who, in a jealous rage, sold him to a caravan going to Egypt where he was made into a slave.

“He spent years away from his family, some of those years full of toil and heartache. But when a famine came over the land and he found his own brothers before him asking for food, he took no revenge. And even when their father died and the brothers were sure the time for revenge had come, Joseph spoke these words.

“I don’t share this verse with you because I liken myself to Joseph. I left of my own accord, in sin against my God. But the forgiveness Joseph showed his brothers is the forgiveness you have shown to me this day.” Paul’s voice broke, and he took a moment to compose himself.

“There are a few things Joseph and I have in common, and one is that God never left his side as He never left mine. Daily He urged me to surrender my bitterness and hurt, and I fought Him. But lovingly, in a way only God can master, He tenderly broke through my wall of pain, and with the confession of my sins I have full fellowship again.”

Abby felt a headache coming on in her effort to hold back tears as she watched this man stand open and vulnerable before his flock. Beside her, Ross swallowed convulsively in an effort to remove the clog in his own throat. All around them handkerchiefs were coming out and some people were openly crying. Abby wondered if Paul would be able to continue.

“I’ll close by repeating what I said about leaving of my own accord and in sin. But again, as Joseph was, I am now in the place where God wants me, and I wouldn’t be were it not for your prayers and forgiveness. For this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

The people stood then and, with Paul leading, most sang the doxology with tears streaming down their faces. Paul looked down as he sang, and Abby saw the way his eyes were filled with peace. She couldn’t contain her tears any longer.

Sunday dinners were very late that day as everyone stayed for over an hour to visit and share. Abby was invited to join a quilting bee that was to be held the next week. Ross met two young men near his age and they made plans to fish.

When things began to clear, Paul sent people away with handshakes and hugs. He knew pain and disappointment that Corrine’s parents were not there, and also knew that even though they weren’t on his list, he had to go see them very soon.

Lloyd and May went on in their buggy, and Ross and Abby stayed with Paul as he locked the church. Descending the church steps, he went right to Ross, his hand extended.

“Thanks, Ross, for being here. It means more than I can say.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Pastor Cameron,” Ross answered with a sincere smile.

Paul then turned to Abby, and she smiled and extended her hand. Reaching for that hand, he didn’t shake it but pulled her into his arms. It took a moment for a surprised Abby to react, but then she hugged him back with her heart overflowing.

When they parted, Paul’s voice was strained. “Thanks, Red.” Abby could only nod before she turned away, knowing if she looked at him she would start to cry again.

The excitement of the day seemed to drain everyone’s strength, and all five people at Lloyd Templeton’s home spent the remainder of the day in quiet rest.

Paul’s entire body shook with emotion two days later as he stood before the home of his wife’s parents. Memories assailed him like a full-force gale, robbing him of breath for a moment: the first time he had walked up these steps to find Corrine sick and hurting… his wedding day at her bedside…believing with all his heart she would get out of that bed. And then the night she died and he walked away from this house telling himself he would
never
return.

But here he was, and the pain was nearly overpowering. Knowing the raw feeling inside would not abate until he confronted his in-laws, he started up the steps.

“I’d like to see Mr. and Mrs. Templeton, please,” Paul stated when a woman opened the door. She wordlessly stepped aside for his entrance, and Paul waited in the very room he had found his thin, sick Corrine and had proposed to her.

“Hello, Paul.”

At the very softly spoken words, Paul spun from his place by the fireplace to find Mrs. Templeton. She looked in good health, but there were lines around her eyes and mouth he had never noticed before. Paul opened his mouth to speak.

“If you’ve come here to apologize for anything, Paul, please don’t.”

“You can understand why I want to, can’t you?”

“Yes, I suppose I can, but never once were you treated fairly in our pursuit to see Corrine happy, and for that Hugh and I owe you more apology than we could ever offer. Hugh is not here right now, but then, I don’t suppose he would be able to say the words anyhow.”

The two of them sat in silence before Mrs. Templeton continued. “I hope for your sake, Paul, that you never have an unwell child. Corrine was sickly from birth. You become a little more attached to them every time they have a brush with death and survive. And then the time comes when they don’t make it, and you realize you knew all along it would happen but you had deluded yourself into believing otherwise. I’m afraid that’s where you came in.

“Corrine fell for you the minute she laid eyes on you, and when I saw the happiness you brought her I selfishly ignored your needs in my effort to see her happy, no matter how briefly. I don’t blame you if you hate us. I hate myself. I haven’t been able to talk to God since you left.”

Paul’s eyes closed in agony, and he moved close to her on the settee. He held her hand and spoke. “There is no hate in my heart—that I promise you. And the fact that I am the reason you haven’t had fellowship with the Lord hurts like a knife in my side.”

“Oh, it’s not your fault. I never meant that—”

“It
is
my fault, but I won’t argue with you. I should have stayed, but that’s over. I’ve been away and now I’m back. And I’ll do anything I can to see you restored to fellowship with God, a heavenly Father we both know can salve every hurt with His unconditional healing love.”

“It’s been so awful.” The older woman began to cry brokenly.

“I know, but His arms are always opened wide.” Paul said this, and then watched as Rose Templeton bowed her head in prayer. He prayed silently to himself for God’s comfort and
healing for all of them as they continued to face life after Corrine’s death.

“Please, God, please,” Paul heard her whisper, and instantly saw himself on his back in bed at the Becketts’ house, uttering those same words and wanting desperately to be restored. Opening his eyes, he looked at his mother-in-law in concern when she began to cry very hard.

He held her hand and patted it gently, but her crying was becoming hysterical. When she groped for her handkerchief, Paul quickly handed her his own, but the crying didn’t cease. He heard someone in the hallway and debated about going for help. If anything, her sobbing was more severe, and Paul prayed for wisdom to comfort her.

He was just about to go for help when Hugh Templeton walked through the door. He hardly spared a glance in Paul’s direction as he came to his wife. Paul wouldn’t have believed the man’s voice could be so gentle if he hadn’t heard it with his own ears.

“Rosie, Rosie—it’s alright. I’m here now. Try to stop crying. You’ll make yourself sick.” Hugh’s arms were around his wife, and he continued to talk softly in her ear as he pulled her to her feet.

Paul stood helplessly as he watched the concerned husband lift his wife into his arms and carry her from the room. Once alone he ran a distracted hand through his hair and spoke to the empty room. “What have I done?”

Paul debated about leaving, but concern for Corrine’s mother caused him to pace around indecisively. He had decided to come back another time when Hugh Templeton’s frame filled the doorway. Paul steeled himself for the anger he was sure would be directed at him.

“I don’t know what you’ve done,” Paul held his breath as the older man spoke, “but I want to thank you.”

Would this man never cease to surprise him?

“I can see I’ve shocked you, but the truth is Rose hasn’t cried since the night Corrine died, and I’ve worried about her. I think she’ll be getting better now. I’ve put her to bed and well, you can come back another time or maybe see her at church.”

Paul could only stare.

Hugh Templeton nodded to the silent young man and left the room. Paul made his way to the front door in something of a state of shock and was almost outside when Hugh Templeton spoke from behind him.

“Our family graveyard is out to the west, beyond the flowers. Corrine is buried there.” Without waiting for thanks, the man disappeared into the back of the house and Paul continued outside.