Long Slow Second Look (5 page)

I frowned. "Why do you ask?"

She shrugged. "I happen to have four single sisters and numerous friends in the market for a handsome, single, straight man. They are straight?"

"All divorced. All heterosexual." And as uninterested as I was in remarrying.

"Married life doesn’t agree with them?"

"Apparently not." I waited for her to ask if it agreed with me.

"I see." She sighed before looking at the pictures again. "Are you interested in photography?"

"Not really. The best pictures there were taken by one of my friend’s sister, Lelia."

She looked surprise. "Lelia Grayhawk?"

I nodded. "Do you know her?"

"She’s friends with my younger sisters. Small world." She walked back across the room, sat beside me again, and touched my bare left hand. "How long have you been divorced?"

"Ten years."

"Have you ever been tempted to remarry during that time?"

"No."

"Never?"

"Never."

"Wow." She picked up my hand and held it between both of hers. "What kind of women have you been hanging out with that you've never been tempted to remarry in ten years of dating?"

"The kind that doesn't inspire thoughts of marriage."

"Oh. So…what happened?"

"With Julie and me?"

"She’s your wife?"

"Ex-wife," I said. I shrugged. "We met just after college, fell into lust, got married, and had two great kids together."

"If you don’t mind my asking, who fell out of love or was it mutual?"

"I never said we fell in love. I said we fell into lust. After a while, that was no longer enough for me. I wanted a relationship that met my emotional and physical needs. We stayed together for several years after that for the kids’ sake but finally I’d had enough and she fell in love so we divorced."

"And you’ve been heart whole ever since?"

"Yes."

"And enjoying the single life again?"

"Not nearly as much as I thought I would."

"Grass not as green as you thought it would be, Johnny mine?"

Having her unknowingly use my words against me amused me. "Definitely not as green. I’ve given up trying to find a woman capable of satisfying all my needs. I have a few women I find sexually attractive to meet my physical needs and I’m hoping you’ll meet my emotional ones."

She gave me a long cool stare that left me wondering what I’d said wrong.

"Give me a clue," I prompted.

"Give you a clue about what?"

"About what I said to make you look as if you’d like to slap the hell out of me."

She shook her head. "For future reference, not many women are interested in hearing that they’re not attractive or sexy enough to excite a man but will do in a pinch for a friend."

Damn. How the hell had she arrived at that conclusion? "That’s not what I said or meant, Amber."

"Isn’t it, John?"

"No. It’s not or you wouldn’t have had to remind me of my promise to keep tonight strictly platonic."

She nodded. "Good point. So. You’ve never been in love?"

I shrugged. "Not really. I’ve been in heavy lust several times, but never in love."

"Don't you do love?"

"Apparently not. I think the ability to fall in love ended with my grandfather. He's been married to and adoring my grandmother for nearly seventy years. I think he's hogged up the entire family's ability to fall in love."

"Are you saying your brothers don't do love either?"

"Not that I've ever noticed."

"Then why get married?"

"Women have a way of maneuvering a man into marriage—with or without love." He shrugged. "At this point I’ll be happy if you and I can be friends."

"I’m flattered but I think I should point out that I already have my full complement of friends."

"I’m sure you can make room for one more. If you do, you’ll have access to my friends. As I mentioned a number of them are single."

"You’re making me sound desperate."

"That wasn’t my intention."

"Good because how could I be desperate when I have you, Johnny mine?"

"I just thought you might want to meet a better class of men. In fact, I’m having several friends over for drinks on Tuesday night. I’d love to have you join us."

"In case you’ve forgotten, I already have someone in mind. His name is Deandre."

"Why settle for one man when you can have more than one to choose from?"

"Thanks but I’ve already invested a year in Deandre and I think it’s finally going to pay–" Her phone rang. She removed it from her bag, glanced at it and smiled. "Excuse me for a moment." She rose and walked across the room to stare out the window before she answered it.

"Hi…Yes I know. What a nice surprise…Oh. Right. My apologies…no. No…I’d love to. When? Yes. I am. Yes. I’ll see you then. Bye."

I inhaled slowly in an effort to hold onto my temper because I was sure she’d just had a conversation with Dr. Don't Know Shit and agreed to meet him.

After several moments of staring out the window in silence, she turned and walked back to the sofa. "Sorry about that."

I patted the cushion beside me. "Have a seat."

"Thanks." She glanced at her watch. "But it’s getting late. I think I should call it a night. Do you mind?"

Damn right I minded. I wanted to take her hand in mine and pull her onto my lap and into my arms but there was no way I was going to admit it. If she wanted to keep running after his useless ass, that was her affair. I shook my head and rose. "I’ll drive you home."

"Thanks."

She looked relieved and I decided she’d probably expected me to try to talk her into staying.

The thought of her cutting our evening short to meet him pissed me off far more than it should have. Still, short of admitting I was jealous there wasn’t much I could do about it. We made the drive to her place in silence. She seemed to have nothing to say to me and none of the things that came to mind was suitable for polite company. 

"I’d like to call you," I told her at her door.

"I’d love to hear from you, John," she said and gave me her number. "Aren’t you going to write my number down?"

I shook my head. "I’ll remember it."

She tilted her head. "Are you sure? I’d hate to have to track your big, handsome ass down only to be told you didn’t call because you’d forgotten my number."

I smiled. "I promise you I won’t forget and I will call."

"I’ll look forward to your call, John."

"And what do you think Dr. Don't Know Shit would say about that?"

"If you keep calling him that I’ll begin to think you’re jealous." She leaned against me. "And you wouldn’t want that. Would you?"

"I’ve rarely had to be jealous because I nearly always get what I want, Amber."

"And what is it that you want from me?"

"I’ve already told you what I want from you."

"Yes, but you’ll forgive me for pointing it out, but you seem just a mite jealous."

All too true. "Would you like my number?"

"I’d love your number, Johnny mine." She treated me to a teasing smile before she took out her cell phone and entered it.

I took her hand in mine and held it against my chest before I leaned down to brush my mouth against her cheek.

Her perfume and natural scent intoxicated me. Damn. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and really kiss her so she'd think twice about allowing him to dictate who she dated.

She turned her head and brushed her lips against mine.

When she would have stepped away from me, I slipped my arm around her waist and drew her in closer for a real kiss that allowed me to savor the taste of her lips and suck her tongue.

"Johnny…" she half turned her head.

I bent closer and recaptured her mouth. When I felt her soft warm lips under mine again, I swept my tongue into her mouth, palmed her ass, and kissed her until she trembled in my arms and I longed to press her against her door and fuck her. Raw.
That is not going to happen, Johnny boy. So rein in your lust.

I contented myself with rubbing my groin against her while I fantasized about sliding inside her. I kept it up until she gasped and shoved against my shoulders.

Even then I didn't want to, but I reluctantly released her—after one last kiss.

"For a man who has no sexual interest in me, you can't seem to keep your tongue out of my mouth or your cock from stirring against me."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Do you want me to apologize?"

"I don't know what I want." She shook her head. "Actually I do but the year I've invested in him is starting to pay dividends."

I caressed her cheek. "You tempt me to see if I can change your mind."

She took my hand in hers and surprised me by kissing it before she released it and stepped away from me. "I enjoyed the time we spent together tonight."

"So did I." Far more than I would have thought possible.

She smiled. "Call me soon and drive safely."

"Thanks, I will." I left her feeling more juvenile than ever. I wanted to talk about her to anyone who would listen. Instead, I returned home, turned out the lights, and sipped a few beers while listening to jazz. I finally went to bed with thoughts of her lulling me to sleep.

* * *

Amber

After John left I undressed and lit the candles surrounding my tub. Pouring myself a glass of my favorite wine, I went into the bathroom. I savored several sips of wine before closing my eyes and allowing my thoughts to wonder
as I enjoyed the warmth of the water caressing my body. Surprisingly, my first thoughts were of John instead of Deandre.

Those moments locked in John's arms filled my thoughts. Then recalling Deandre’s unexpected call while I was with John, I struggled to keep my emphasis on him. Now that I’d finally managed to attract Deandre’s romantic attention, I couldn’t afford to lose focus. Even if part of me wanted to see them both, I felt certain neither of them would be inclined to fall in line with that idea. 

Nicely drowsy from my soak, I went to bed. I drifted to sleep thinking of John. When I woke, he was still on my mind. Annoyed at my inability to focus on Deandre, I checked my phone’s clock: 1:23 am. I exercised the privilege of having a good friend
who always had my back.

Although I’d clearly awaken her, Sherlyn listened in silence as I told her about my night. "So I’m now fixated on two men instead of one," I said.

She yawned. "Either I’m still asleep or you’re delusional."

I frowned and sat up in my moonlit bedroom. "What?"

"You’re not fixated on two men."

"Why aren’t I?"

"Because this entire conversation has been about one-this John Reddorn, love that name by the way. He sounds as hunky as your brothers."

I sighed mentally. Growing up most of my friends had crushed on my step-brothers who were all attractive Native American males. Two of my closest friends, Sherlyn and Janine had fantasized about them for years. Unfortunately, my step-brothers only dated pretty, supermodel thin women.

While Janine now fit the bill, they said dating so close to home was messy. They thought Sherlyn was nice but not someone they would date. From the edge in her voice, it sounded like Sherlyn might still have a thing for Darkwater. As a family, we showed our respect for Thomas's position as the elder brother by calling him by the family surname, Darkwater.

"I’m not sure what he’s like, Sher."

"Obviously you want to find out or we wouldn’t be having this conversation
at this ungodly hour. I say go for it."

"I’d love to but I’m not sure I can without running the risk of ruining things with Deandre just as they’re getting interesting."

"Hmm. Let’s see. A handsome, sexy man who although he claims he’s only interested in friendship, nearly blistered the skin off your lips and slapped the round off your ass? I say getting to know him is worth the risk. Go for it."

"Deandre—"

"He can have a say in who you do or don’t see when and if he makes a real move. Not a damn minute before then. Until that happens, it’s on, girl. For the third time, go for it."

I nodded. "I think I will."

"Honestly, Am, I’m surprised at you allowing a call from him to interrupt what was shaping up to be a very interesting tête–à–tête."

I shook my head. "Deandre’s calling wasn’t my sole reason for ending the evening with John."

"Then what was?"

"My dad," I said of the man who had married my mother after my father's death twenty-five years earlier and who had then loved and cherished my sisters and me as if we were his natural born daughters.

"What about him?"

"You know how he always preached that we couldn’t afford to fall into bed with a man on a first date-no matter how persuasive he was or how tempted we were. Had I stayed, I would probably have ended up in bed with him."

"Ooh. Wouldn’t that have been nice?"

"I’m thinking it would probably have been a lot more than nice but I’d still have regretted it in the morning. Let's face it as annoying as Darkwater is, he's a man on the prowl. He knows more about what men want and think than we do."

"I'm sure he does."

I frowned at the hint of wistfulness I thought I heard in her voice. Three years earlier, she'd fallen in love and gotten engaged to a man whose adoration and love had swept thoughts of Darkwater from her mind.

Unfortunately, he'd died two months before their wedding. I hoped the emotional vacuum caused by his death had not been filled with new fantasies centering on Darkwater who had absolutely no interest in her.

"What did your dad say about a second date?" she asked, sounding amused.

"Nothing much, but Darkwater would have all too much to say about it," I said. He slept around as if every fuck was his last while managing to convey that fact that we were easy if we slept with a man we weren’t at least engaged to.

"So don't tell him. Now what about John's invitation? Are you going to allow him to introduce you to his friends?"

I shook my head. "I can't imagine wanting to date any of his friends and if I see him again, we'll probably end up in bed."