Long Slow Second Look (9 page)

I'd had a crazy one-nighter and now it was time to get back in the game, regroup, and resume the hunt for Deandre's heart. Before I could change my mind, I called John's number, all the while praying that he would not answer.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard his recorded greeting.
I'm not available right now. Leave your name and number and I'll return your call.

"John, it's Amber. There's no easy way to say this so I'll just say it. Meeting you was…interesting and diverting, but I don't expect we'll see each other again. I'm sure you'll have no problem finding any number of women eager to be your friend. I hope you'll wish me luck with Deandre.

"Bye and thanks for…for…thanks. Bye."

I ended the call and lay gasping for breath for several minutes before I could breathe normally again. Then I went into the bathroom and stared at the hickeys on my neck. Oh, hell I'd enjoyed having them made but now had to worry about covering them. One look at them and Deandre would know what I'd been doing with John. John. Oh, John.

For God's sake, Am, stop behaving like a silly teenager. You did what you had to do. He's not interested in marriage or having any more kids. You want both. Seeing him again would be as insane as letting him fuck you raw had been. You've been foolish enough for him to last a lifetime. You have to move on.

Ignoring the urge to have a good long cry, I listened to Deandre's message next.

"Great news, Amber. I was able to rearrange my schedule for tomorrow. How does dinner and dancing sound? If I don't hear from you, I'll pick you up at six. I'm looking forward to seeing you again outside the office. Bye."

His message would have had me dancing in the streets this time yesterday. Now it filled me with confusion. Part of me still wanted to pretend the craziness with John hadn't happened and savoring finally taking the first step in my goal to land Deandre. Then there was the other part of me who had surrendered so shamelessly to John who wanted an opportunity to be his bad girl again. That part of me was so over Deandre it was a little frightening.

I reluctantly decided the realist in me needed to prevail. Although I really was not in the mood and didn't foresee that changing by tomorrow, I would go out with Deandre and put every effort into charming him and knocking him off his big feet and into my arms. I'd done it with John and I could do it with Deandre.

But oh…John.

Chapter Six

John

I listened to Amber's message on Sunday morning after I'd spent a frustrating and embarrassing night with Janet. For the first time in years, I'd been unable to achieve an erection long enough to actually have sex.

Hearing Amber ask me to wish her well with a man who'd kept her trailing after him for a year pissed me the fuck off. Still stung by my inability to perform with Janet, I was in a foul mood. I should have gone home and tried to relax.

Instead, I drove to Amber's apartment, pressed my finger on her bell, and kept it there until I heard her annoyed voice over the intercom.

"John! What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

"About what? Didn't you get my message?"

"Let me in, Amber."

"Didn't you get–"

"I heard your message. Now open the damn door!"

"Trying to order me around is not going to get you anything but ignored, John!"

"Fine! Open the door–please."

"Why?"

"I need to talk to you."

"You know what happens when we're alone, John."

"You have my word I only want to talk."

"I had your word before that you could control yourself and you know how well that turned out for me."

That remark was below the belt and pissed me off. Anyone listening would think I'd raped her. "Do we really have to have this conversation in public, Amber?"

She didn't respond. I was about to turn away in frustration when I heard the buzzer, signaling she'd released the door lock.

I struggled to control my temper and foul mood on the elevator ride to her apartment. When she opened the door, I felt an immediate stirring in the cock that had wilted on me with Janet.

Without giving her a chance to say anything, I stepped in, closed the door, and took her in my arms. Sliding my hands down her back to her big ass, I ground my hips against hers until I felt my cock coming to attention. Thank God!

"John!" She pushed against my shoulders. "You said—"

"I know what I said. I just want to hold you."
And reassure myself that what happened with Janet was a fluke and not the beginning of erection problems.

"No!" She shoved against my shoulders until I released her. She stared at me with her eyes dark and angry. "How dare you?"

"How dare I what?"

"How dare you come pawing me with another woman's perfume on your clothes! What are you? A sex maniac? Twice with me and however many times with her last night wasn't enough? You want more?"

I sighed and closed my eyes and leaned against the door. "Nothing happened with her."

"Then why do you reek of her perfume?"

I opened my eyes and met her furious gaze. "Because I tried but couldn't perform. Satisfied?"

She stared at me. "You couldn't? You couldn't get it…Why not?"

"I'm forty-two not twenty-two. I was tired. She didn't excite me as she used to. I'd had too much to drink. I wanted you not her. How the hell should I know why not?"

"You wanted me?"

I nodded. "I should have thought that was obvious after yesterday."

She glanced at my groin. "You don't seem to be having any difficulty now."

"I'm with you."

She sighed and shook her head. "That's flattering but I meant what I said, John. I'm having dinner tonight with Deandre."

"No you're not."

She blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

I reached out and pulled her back into my arms. "I said you're not having dinner with him." I kissed the side of her neck and slipped my hands down the waistband of her pants. And guess what? She wasn't wearing any underwear so I slid my hand around her body to palm her pussy.

She inhaled quickly and pushed against my shoulders. "No."

I released her.

She shoved at my shoulder. "What exactly can I believe that you tell me, John?"

I knew I deserved her anger so I shook my head. "I'm usually a man of my word."

"I haven't found that to be the case."

Fuck. That stung.

"Besides, you're hardly in a position to tell me not to see him when you actually spent the night with another woman after we…you're in no position to lay down the law, John. I am going out with him."

"No. You're not."

She stared at me. "Two fucks don't give you the right to dictate to me."

"Look I know I screwed up but it's not all my fault."

She shook her head. "I wondered how long it would take you to get around to blaming me. I should have said no…I didn't say it forcefully enough. How is it my fault that you can't control yourself?" She turned away from me. "The door is behind you. Use it."

The hell I would. I followed her, took her hand, and turned her to face me.

She jerked away. "Keep your hands to yourself on your way out!"

"I wasn't blaming you, Amber. Believe me, I'm fully aware that I'm the one who lost control and that I didn't really give you a chance to object. I only meant it wasn't all my fault because you…apparently you've put a hex or something on me." I leaned against the door. "I've been very successful financially because I'm focused and I know my shit. I don't make rash decisions or bonehead moves. Unfortunately, that's all I've done since we met…make one dumbass mistake after another."

She sighed. "I know the feeling, but we want vastly different things in a relationship. So I can not afford to keep fucking up with you, John."

"Is that code for you want marriage and kids?"

"Yes. It is. You've made it plain you're not interested in either and you've served your purpose of helping me get Deandre's attention so I can't afford to be interested in you."

"Why not? Afraid he'll find out? Does he actually get to decide who you see or don't see even before you've had a single date with him? I wouldn't have expected you to be so…eighteenth century compliant."

Her eyes shot angry sparks at me. "You're only saying that to get what you want."

I nodded. "I admit that I want you. Why can't you do the same? Why are you still pretending you're interested in him when we both know you want to be with me?"

She compressed her lips before she fired an angry response at me. "If you expect me to blow things with him just so I can be your latest easy lay you're vastly overrating my interest in you."

"Why the hell won't you be honest? I'm not overrating your interest in me anymore than you've overrated mine in you. What's so damned wonderful about a man who makes you chase him for a year before he decides he might want to ask you out?"

"So what's your mission today, John? Make me feel like one of your easy lays who should be honored that you haven't had enough of me yet?"

"Is that what you think? How many damn times must I tell you that I don't consider you an easy lay before you believe me?"

"What do you want from me, John? I've already admitted I want marriage and kids. You seem to be happily divorced with two kids and no desire for more. Why the hell would we continue the madness we started on Saturday?"

I took her hand in mine. When she made no effort to pull it away, I drew her into my arms and embraced her, pressing my lips against her cheek. "Because it's a sweet, irresistible madness." I kissed her cheek before lifting my head to look down at her. "Let's explore it together."

"And what about my chances with Deandre?"

"What do you want me to say? You can't expect me to care about him."

"No, John, but I was hoping you might have a little concern for the chances you seem determined to destroy for me. He's actually open to marriage. Granted, he might not be open to it with me-yet, but I can change that–if you'll leave me to get on with it."

"Then you have a problem because I have no plans to leave you to get on with anything with him or any other man."

"Why not?"

"For the same reason I have no plans to introduce you to any man who might find you as intriguing as I do–because I want you for myself." I stroked my hands down her back to cup her bare ass cheeks. Damn I loved feeling her flesh against my hands.

She trembled in my arms. "Clearly the feeling is mutual, John, but you already have what you want. I don't. I can't keep doing this with you."

Taking advantage of the fact that she no longer sounded resolute, I bent my head to kiss the side of her mouth. "Let's do it until you and he actually have a relationship to worry about. Right now you don't so you don't owe him any explanation or loyalty."

She drew her head back from mine. "And we're not likely to have one if I keep sleeping with you."

I palmed her ass and pulled her close to my groin. "You say that as if it's a bad thing."

"It is for me."

I licked her neck. "He doesn't deserve you."

Her response came in a low breathless tone that heightened my need for her. "But you do?"

"Probably not, but I damn sure want you more than he does."

"How can you possibly know that?"

"I've thought of little but you since the moment we met. I took one look at you and everything in my world turned upside down."

"It did?"

I nodded. "I feel as if I'm drowning in the need for you. I've never been so out of control with any other woman. It would take an act of God to keep me away from you."

"Oh, John. You're making it so hard for me to resist you."

"Then don't. We're both adults with no romantic entanglements. There's no reason why we shouldn't do want feels good. Is there?"

"There is a reason."

"Not a good one, cher. We both want this so why should we deny ourselves?"

She stiffened. "Try to keep track of who you're with John. The name's Amber, not Sha."

"What?" I stared at her confused. Then, as the realization of what I must have called her hit me, I laughed to cover my dismay.
What the hell, Reddorn. Cher? Really? After two days? Have you lost your damned mind?
"You're not like any other woman I've ever met. I'm not likely to confuse you with anyone else," I said, hoping she'd be satisfied with that explanation.

"You called me Sha. That doesn't sound anything like Amber."

Just my luck she would force me to admit what I'd called her and what it meant. "I didn't call you Sha. I called you cher."

"That's what I said."

"Cher is an endearment my grandfather used with my grandmother and my dad with my mom. It's spelled c-h-e-r but it's pronounced sha."

"What are you saying?"

"It's an endearment."

"So is sweet."

"Yes, but it's more…it has more meaning for us than an ordinary endearment."

"Are you saying it's a special term of endearment?"

Oh, fuck, Reddorn. You're digging a nice deep hole for yourself.
"My grandfather and to a lesser extent, my father think so."

"But you don't?"

"I…actually…I might."

"You might?"

Fuck. "Okay. I do."
Satisfied?

"Oh, John."

Viewing her soft words as a sign of surrender, I rubbed myself against her until she shuddered and reached between our bodies to unzip my pants.

That's right, sweet. Make the first move so I know you want this as much as I do.

She slipped her hand inside my briefs to cup and massage me. To my relief, my cock responded immediately. Standing on her toes, she pressed her mouth against mine while continuing to pump me until I was fully erect and aching to be back inside her.

Although I had one and I knew I should, the thought of using a condom repulsed me. I guided her against the wall, pushed down her pants and rubbed my shaft against her.

"John," she moaned and slipped her hands into my pants to palm my ass.