Longing and Lies (6 page)

She was right, of course, as she was about most things that had anything to do with dealing with people on a real level. At least through it all she'd maintained that part of her humanity. She had her children, which compelled her to feel, to care about someone other than herself. He didn't have that. And when his human side dared to make an appearance, he did all he could to stomp it back in place. It was a lonely life, but one that he'd grown accustomed to. It was simply easier that way. It was a lesson he'd learned the hard way. And if there was one thing you could count on when you dealt with Elliot Morgan, you never had to worry about him falling for the same thing twice.

A
shley didn't know whether she should feel pissed off, disinterested or totally dissed by Elliot. They hadn't spent a full day together as “man and wife” and already he was spending the night out. What did that say about her appeal? she wondered morosely. She would laugh at the absurdity of it all, but the truth of the matter was she was actually annoyed. She realized much of it had to do with her lack of sleep. For the better part of the night she kept listening for Elliot's key in the door. That fact added to her annoyance on top of the
other
fact that she was up listening for him in the first place! Even in his absence, he was a thorn in her side. Well, her plan was to pluck the thorn and get on about the business of the case. She didn't care if Elliot Morgan spent every night out. That
meant more room for her in the fabulous apartment.
Was he with another woman? Don't even go there
, she warned herself. It didn't matter if he was.
Did it?

Shaking her head to dispel her roving thoughts, she went into her bedroom, retrieved her laptop and set up in the living room. Hunting through her pared-down collection of CDs, she selected
Blue Magic's Greatest Hits
,
Marvin Gaye Live
, Jill Scott, Kem and her new favorite, Chrisette Michele's
Epiphany
.

Settling down, she booted up her computer and opened up the information from her flash drive. Within seconds the list of adoption agencies and fertility clinics appeared on the screen. She began sorting them by geographic area and plugging them into her Google map, which she would sync to her PDA later. There were more than seventy locations to check out and no real way to determine which was more important than the other. Just as she opened another file to get the backgrounds on the parents, she heard the lock being jiggled in the front door. Her pulse began to race and her stomach knotted.

The front door opened and she heard heavy footsteps walking down the hallway in her direction. She looked a mess, she realized in alarm. She had on a baggy T-shirt and an old pair of sweat pants. She made a move to dart off to her room, but it was too late.

“Hello,” he greeted without enthusiasm. His gaze settled on her for a minute and moved away.

Ashley pretended not to notice him. She studied the
files in front of her, but couldn't make out anything that they said.

Elliot moved farther into the room. He stopped in front of her and looked down at the papers spread out across the table. “Are those the case files?”

“Yes, I thought it best that I get started,” she said a bit more sharply than she intended.

He came around the table and sat down next to her. The manly scent of him rushed to her senses. She tried to ignore him, but she could feel the heat from his body press against her own. He reached across the table for the file, and his hand brushed against her arm. It was like an electric shock and she jumped as if she'd been struck.

“Something wrong,” he asked.

“No I'm fine,” she snapped. “Why, is something wrong with you?”

He looked at her from the corner of his eyes. “We're a little testy today, aren't we?”

Ashley jumped up from her seat. She spun toward him, her hands on her hips. “We're supposed to be working on this assignment, and you decide to spend the entire night out!” She knew she sounded like a nagging wife, but she couldn't seem to help herself. She had no right to be upset. He was entitled to live his life anyway that he saw fit. She couldn't seem to control the emotions that tumbled within her.

“Look, I'm sorry about last night. I just needed to get out and clear my head. Went to see a friend.”

Her heart pounded in her chest.
A friend?
She wouldn't dare ask him who it was. She didn't need to know. “Fine. You can do whatever you want. But we have a job to do.”

“Then let's do it.” His gaze held her in place for a moment.

She pushed out a breath of exasperation and slowly returned to her place on the couch. “I've broken down the list according to geographic areas. I thought it would be a good way to get started. That way we can visit specific areas at one time.”

Elliot nodded as he looked at her notes. He had to admit, had it been him he would've gone about it the same way. He admired her forward thinking. “That makes plenty of sense to me. What we need to do now is get the names of the heads of all of these organizations. That way we'll know who we're going to be asking for when we show up for our appointment as Mr. and Mrs. Morgan.”

Her skin warmed at the mention of “Mr. and Mrs. Morgan.” She pretended that she didn't hear him and proceeded to explain that she had the list of names already.

“You have been a busy bee today, haven't you?” A small smile moved around the corners of his mouth.

Ashley dared to look at him and she'd swear she saw admiration in his eyes. “It's what I do,” she said, turning back to the task at hand.

“I'm thinking we should start with the fertility clinics,” Elliot said.

“I was thinking the same thing,” she said.

“So, starting tomorrow morning we'll begin with the fertility clinics until we exhaust the entire list.”

“I had no idea there were so many fertility clinics in New York.”

“Guess there are a lot of people wanting babies,” he said, his voice dropping an octave.

Ashley stared at the screen and thought about her parents and their twenty years of heartache. Yes, she fully understood how desperately parents can want a child, especially a child who had been stolen from them. The desire never leaves. The hole in your heart never gets filled. It's a never-ending ache, and you wake up every day and pray that this will be a better day, a different day, and that all the days before never happened. But then you realize that it has happened. And you are powerless to change anything.

Elliot gently touched her shoulder and felt her stiffen beneath his fingertips. “Are you okay?” he asked softly.

She swallowed over the sudden knot in her throat. She nodded her head. “Yes, I'm fine.” Gentleness was the last thing she needed from him, the last thing she wanted. She couldn't handle it, not now. “Let's get back to this list,” she said, trying to regain her composure, which was extremely difficult with him being so close, touching her.

Elliot slowly removed his hand from her shoulder. “Yeah, let's. We'll start with the Upper East Side clinics and work our way across town.”

For the next hour they worked on developing their list. They knew they'd probably have to make appointments with all of these clinics. But their hope was that they could at least do a walk-in and get some brochures, talk to a couple of the employees and take a look around. One of their goals was to gain access to the clinics' databases. In order to do that, one of them would have to distract the receptionist or whoever was behind the computers. If that failed, they would have to try to plant a micro camera that was focused on the computer screen and on the keyboard. That way the camera could record the keystrokes and possibly access any passwords that were needed to get into the files. Once that was done, they would be able to pass that information along to Jasmine over at Cartel headquarters. She would then be able to download the files they needed. What they were looking for were client lists, the names and addresses of all the couples who had come to the clinics. It would all take luck and timing. And most important, their ability to work together.

Elliot leaned back from his slumped-over position and rotated his stiff neck. “I think that's about all we can do with what we have so far.”

“You're right. My eyes are beginning to cross anyway.” She saved all of the information they had compiled and closed down the computer.

Elliot stood, and the first thought that came to her mind was that he was getting ready to leave again. And it annoyed her that she cared one way or the other.

“I think we deserve a treat,” he said, “for all the work that we've accomplished.”

“A treat?”

“Yeah.” He checked his watch. “It's still pretty early. Wanna go explore the neighborhood?”

“You call that a treat?” she asked in a teasing tone.

Elliot chuckled. “What if I bought you some ice cream to go along with the tour? Would that make you feel better?”

She smiled. “Butter pecan can do wonders.”

“You're on.”

Ashley got up and stretched tight limbs. “Then let me at least change and put on something halfway decent.”

“I don't think you need to.”

Their gazes connected and that hot sensation exploded in the center of her chest. “Even if you think so, I'm still going to change my clothes.”

Elliot shrugged. “Your call. I think you look fine, but I guess it's not for me to say.” He turned and walked away.

Ashley stood there for moment vacillating between feeling utterly ridiculous and aggravated once again. It was totally exhausting trying to figure out Elliot Morgan. She headed off toward her room in search of something to put on.

Nearly a half hour later, Ashley emerged in a new
outfit. She'd selected a long-sleeved white oxford blouse and a pair of tight-fitting black jeans belted at the waist with a black-and-silver scarf that was knotted and hung down to her knees running along her left side. Since he said they'd be walking she decided to put on her sneakers instead of her boots. She wasn't one to generally use makeup, but she did decide to brighten her eyes with a brush of mascara and bring out her full lips with a touch of gloss. She'd run her fingers through her hair to get the wild and carefree look that she liked. A double-stranded silver chain hung from her slender neck.

“Ready,” she announced. Elliot turned from his perusal of the CDs that were stacked up on the entertainment unit. For an instant his eyes widened when he saw her.

She waited for him to comment on her appearance. But he didn't utter a word.

“You need a jacket,” he said offhandedly and headed toward the door.

Ashley rolled her eyes, snatched up her jacket from the hall closet and followed him out.

“If I remember the neighborhood,” Elliot said, once they'd stepped outside, “there's a Baskin-Robbins about three blocks away.”

“I can wait,” she said, falling into step next to him.

“I just don't want you to think I'm not a man of my word.”

“You haven't given me a reason to think that—at least not yet.”

“And I don't plan to.” He took her hand and his large fingers wrapped around hers. Her heart felt as if it had short-circuited in her chest. For an instant her knees wobbled. She tried to pretend that holding Elliot's hand was something that she always did.

“We might as well look like the happy married couple. Shouldn't we?” He stole a look at her.

“Of course,” she said, her voice sounding almost unrecognizable to her ears. “We have to keep up appearances.”

“Exactly,” he said, tightening his grasp around her hand.

As they walked, the tension that had taken hold of Ashley's body slowly began to loosen. She felt herself begin to relax and enjoy the closeness of Elliot next to her.

“This is an amazing city,” he said. “There's always something to do, stores open twenty-four hours a day, night clubs, restaurants, anything that you could possibly want is contained on this tiny little island of Manhattan.”

“Yep, the city that never sleeps.”

“Do you get to go out much?” he asked.

“Not as much as I would like. What about you?”

“I've been away so long I feel like a tourist.” He paused a moment. “About last night…”

“Listen, you're a big boy. You don't have to explain anything to me.”

“I know I don't, but I want to.”

Ashley glanced up at him. He looked straight ahead.

“This is all new to me. This whole thing about working with a partner. Moving in with somebody. It's not something that I'm used to or what I expected—started to rub me the wrong way, and I didn't want to take it out on you. I needed a little space and some breathing room. So I went uptown to see a friend of mine from back in my Special Op days. Maybe you'll get to meet her one day.” So it
was
a woman, she thought. “As long as you're feeling better, that's what's important.” She pulled her hand away from his and made busywork of looking in her purse—for what, she didn't know. The only thing she was sure of at the moment was that she didn't want him to touch her. She found a pack of gum at the bottom of her purse and pulled it out. “What one?” she asked, offering him a stick. “Sure. Thanks.”

Ashley put a piece of gum in her mouth to keep her from saying something utterly ridiculous.

“It should be up on this next block,” he said, tossing the foil wrapper in the corner trash basket.

They reached Baskin-Robbins and Elliot placed their orders for two butter pecan cones then they continued on their walk.

“If I remember correctly from the notes,” Ashley said. “I think one of those adoption agencies is about two blocks away.” She took her PDA out of her purse, turned
it on and pulled up the data that she'd recently updated. She scrolled down the list of adoption agencies. “Here it is. Happy Homes Adoption Agency. It's two blocks away on 119th Street and Amsterdam Avenue.”

“Let's take a look,” Elliot said.

“It's probably closed.”

“No harm in trying. We might get lucky.”

They picked up their pace and quickly covered the distance to the agency. When they arrived they were surprised to see it was open. A young couple was walking out just as they approached.

Ashley and Elliot gave each other a questioning look.

“I'm game, if you are,” Ashley said.

Elliot held up his ring finger and the gold band sparkled in the light.