Longing and Lies (8 page)

A
shley rested her head on Elliot's chest. The steady beat of his heart kept time with hers. She drew in a long breath. The past couple of hours were straight out of a romance novel. The crying damsel in distress succumbs to the charms of the tall, dark and handsome hero. If anyone would have told her this scenario, she would have told them how ridiculous and cliché it all was. But it wasn't. It had happened to her.

Elliot caressed her back and drew her closer to him. He stared up at the ceiling. He'd broken all the rules, both personal and professional. The lines that were once clear were blurry. And he didn't care. That probably disturbed him more than anything else. That and the fact that he'd made love to a woman who was vulnerable.
She didn't come to him out of any deep feelings or need, but simply because she was hurt, and it was more than likely his fault. He'd taken advantage of the situation. He never really tried to find out what was wrong. Rather, he let his own needs outweigh good judgment over just being a decent human being.

He squeezed his eyes shut. Nothing good could come of this. They both enjoyed a crazy, sexy romp, but that was it. It couldn't go any further. Besides, when this case was over, there was no telling how far they would send him on his next assignment or for how long. He couldn't become entangled with anyone, Ashley Temple in particular. It would be much too easy to fall for her, and falling for anyone was not his M.O.

“What made you come to my room?” Ashley whispered softly into the darkness that covered them.

Her question momentarily caught him off guard. It was as if she was reading his mind. “I thought I heard you crying.” When he didn't get a response, he turned slightly toward her. “Were you?” He could feel her nod her head against his chest. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She inhaled deeply and expelled a shaky breath. “It goes back a long time,” she finally said. “What does?”

“The reason why I was crying.” She hesitated, uncertain how much she should say. “It's a long story.”

“We have all night.”

“It's about the case. I've never told anyone, not
even the girls. But this is very personal. I think it's the opportunity I've been praying for. And I can't let The Cartel know that I have my own agenda.”

He turned fully toward her, gathered her close against him. “Tell me. I'm listening.”

“It happened a long time ago, but it still feels like yesterday. I was just a kid, an only child. I thought I would be the only child all my life. My mother and father gave me everything and then my mother got pregnant and everything changed. My parents were ecstatic. They never thought they could have any more children, and suddenly I wasn't at the center of their universe anymore. This new baby was. It was all that they talked about.”

She paused as those days and months ran like a bad movie in her head. “I wanted to be happy, too. But I wasn't. There was a part of me that wished the baby away. I just knew that when it arrived my life would never be the same. I didn't want to share my parents' love with anyone.”

Her chest heaved. Elliot stroked her hair. “It's normal to feel that way. Sibling rivalry. I hated my younger brother for years until he got old enough to hang out with.”

“I wished her away,” she said, her voice laced with an anguish that Elliot couldn't understand. But instinct told him that her story was going to take an ugly turn. This was something more than sibling rivalry.

“When she was born, my dad took me to the hospital to see her. My mom was so happy. I'd never seen her so
happy. And I wished her away,” she said again. “I wished so hard that it ached inside.” Her voice cracked. “And my wish came true.”

Elliot frowned in confusion. “What do you mean? What happened?”

“The day she was to come home, the nurse went to bring her to my mother and the baby was gone.”

“Gone? What happened?”

“She wasn't in the nursery. She wasn't in any of the bassinets. She was nowhere in the hospital. Someone had taken her.”

“Oh, Ashley…” His voice dropped off into emptiness.

“To this day no one really knows what happened. My mother…had a breakdown. My father turned into a ghost. The police looked for her for two years. Nothing. No trace. No clue. Layla was never seen again.”

He squeezed her tight. Felt the wetness of her tears against his chest. “You can't possibly blame yourself. You know better than that.”

“The rational part of me knows it. But my heart reminds me of how desperately I didn't want her to be a part of the family. And then she wasn't. I've lived with the ugliness of those feelings for years. And then this case comes up, and the memories get dredged up again.”

For several moments, Elliot was at a loss for words. The guilt that Ashley carried, whether real or imagined, was an enormous weight that had chained itself to her
like an anchor. “Did the police exhaust every avenue?” he finally asked.

“So they said. There was a blip in the media for a couple of weeks and then that disappeared, too, just like Layla.”

“What about videotape, sign-in logs?”

“Twenty-two years ago security was almost nonexistent in hospital nurseries. Most casualties were baby mix-ups. A lot has changed since then, but not soon enough.”

“Did your family try a private investigator?”

“They tried everything. But between my mother's breakdown, paying a detective, attorney fees and trying to live, my dad pretty much exhausted all of his finances. It wasn't until five years after the fact that the hospital accepted responsibility and agreed to a settlement. Believe me. My folks tried everything.”

“You didn't have me,” he said, surprising himself with his pronouncement.

“What?” She pushed herself into a sitting position.

“I'm saying I'm going to help you. This case, the information, it's everything you didn't have twenty years ago. And you have my help now.”

“Why?” she asked, the disbelief rippling through the single word.

“I want to.” He drew in a long breath and released it slowly. “Every case that I have been on throughout my career has always been for the ‘good of the government.' It was a job that never touched me beyond the surface.
I did what was necessary and moved on.” He paused for a moment needing to make sure that he said the right words. “When I got this assignment I felt the same way. Just another job. Get in, get out. Everything looks different now.”

“Different?”

“Yeah.” He kissed her cool forehead. “Let's get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.”

Ashley sighed in contentment and nestled against the warmth of Elliot's body. It had been a long time since she'd been so open and vulnerable with anyone, letting them in on her darkest secret, her hopes and fears. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, silently praying that she hadn't made the biggest mistake of her personal and professional life.

E
verything seemed different in the light of day, Elliot thought, as he stood under the pulse of the hot shower. Last night with the scent and sensations of Ashley deep in his pores he was liable to say anything. And he did. Truth be told, he was no knight in shining armor. He never had been and had no desire to be one now. But if he was nothing else, he was a man of his word. He wouldn't back down from what he promised to do.

He held his face up to the steamy spray. He'd been a fool to get caught up in her tears. Drawn in by her need. Now he was sure she believed that there was something more to what happened last night than what it really was—just two adults satisfying their basic needs.

He turned off the water. That's the way it had to be,
he determined. When this case was over, they would go their separate ways and pick up their lives where they'd left off. Simple.

Elliot wrapped the towel around his waist. If it was so simple, why did it feel so complicated?

Ashley poured her second cup of coffee into her mug and sat down at the kitchen table. She heard the water in the shower stop, and instantly a vision of Elliot's naked body emerged in front of her, rippled and dripping wet. She squirmed in her chair.

There was no question that the sex between them was exquisite. As close to perfection as she'd ever experienced, but that didn't excuse the stupidity of it. She knew better. She'd felt raw inside. She'd needed comfort and he'd been there. They'd taken it further than they should have, and it was her fault. She acted like a cat in heat, disrobing for him, almost daring him to make love to her.

She took a sip of her coffee. But he should have seen how vulnerable she was. He should have walked away.

The more she thought about it, the angrier she grew at herself and at him. She regretted telling him anything about her sister. He'd probably try to use that against her as well. Dammit, she could kick herself.

“Morning.”

She jumped, sloshing coffee on the table.

“Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.” He snatched a piece of paper towel from the rack above the sink and wiped up the spill. “Any more coffee?”

“Help yourself.” She kept her attention riveted on the designs on the mug. Last night they had so much to say to each other. This morning was a series of awkward silences.

“I thought we'd go over the list this morning and start making the rounds,” he said with his back to her.

“Fine.” She pushed back from the table and padded off barefoot to her room.

Elliot felt the air leave his body. He leaned against the sink. This is going to be bad, he thought.

 

Ashley returned to her bedroom to retrieve the files and her laptop then went to the living room. She was in the middle of reviewing one of the clinics on the list, when Elliot appeared in the archway. She kept her attention on the computer screen.

“Since we decided on the upper East side as a starting point, I made a list of the three that we could check out today. I uploaded the information to your PDA.”

She'd said all of this without casting even a glance in his direction, which was fine with him, he thought, although he was a bit stunned by her obvious indifference. It was usually the other way around. But as he took a seat on the end chair, he realized that there was nothing usual about Ashley Temple.

 

Their alibi was to be that they'd been married for six years and had tried unsuccessfully to have a child. They'd recently moved to New York from Columbus, Mississippi, because some of the best doctors and clinics
were in New York. They were still torn between in vitro or adoption.

“I figured we can take my Navigator,” Elliot said, sliding his arms through his brown leather jacket.

“Sure.” She hunted around in her purse to make sure she had everything that she needed. In the event the opportunity presented itself, she would plant some listening and video devices. Satisfied, she zipped her purse, glanced up and was jolted to see Elliot staring intently at her.

“Something wrong?”

“No. Nothing.” He gave a short shake of his head. “Ready?”

She nodded. She draped the strap of her oversized burgundy, leather purse over her shoulder. It was a perfect match to her ankle boots.

Elliot couldn't help but notice the perfect picture she made. Her cream-colored cable-knit sweater that topped an open-collared white blouse, paired with fitted black jeans, expertly defined Ashley's attributes. He may very well notice her, he thought as he pulled the door shut behind him, but she didn't seem interested in giving him the time of day.

 

Ashley made rocket science out of adjusting her seat and fastening her belt, whatever it took to keep her eyes and mind off of Elliot. This was as close as they'd gotten since he'd left her bed before sunrise. She felt empty and stupid and couldn't stop chastising herself for her
actions. She never lost control like that before. What was wrong with her? She had acted like a…

“You want to talk…about anything?” Elliot asked breaking into her dark train of thought.

She stole a quick glance at him. He was staring straight ahead, and the strong line of his jaw was clearly outlined.

“Not really.” She pushed her bag down on her lap and folded her arms on top of it. “I think we covered everything,” she added.

The layer of sarcasm wasn't lost on Elliot. “Guess we did,” he volleyed back with the same level of feigned indifference.

They spent the balance of the drive in silence, with each of them asking themselves “what went wrong?”

 

It was just after ten when they pulled up in front of the first location, which was discreetly tucked away on the fifteenth floor of an office building. They went through the drill: answering questions, filling out forms and pretending to be the loving but desperate couple who wanted a baby.

“We'd love a newborn,” Ashley had repeated at each stop before looking adoringly into Elliot's dark eyes. He'd squeeze her close then kiss the top of her head and look deep into the counselor's eyes. “Whatever my love wants. Money is no object,” he'd emphasize.

By the time they'd reached the last stop for the day, no
outsider would doubt that they weren't who they claimed to be.

While Elliot had charmed all of the women with his banter, good looks and make-you-wet smile, Ashley had been able to plant listening devices at all the locations: on the desks of the counselors and at the reception desks. She'd only been able to set up one micro camera, and had almost gotten caught when a young, female clerk walked in on her in the record room.

“I totally got turned around,” Ashley sputtered, faking embarrassment. “I thought I was heading for the ladies' room.” She laughed nervously.

“The restroom is around the next corridor,” the clerk said, looking more frightened than Ashley. “You've really got to get out of here,” she urged in a harsh whisper. “It's my fault for leaving the door unlocked. If my boss finds out, I'll lose my job.”

Ashley lowered her voice and put a comforting hand on the young woman's shoulder. “Listen, I didn't see you. You didn't see me. It's just between us. I would never want to be one that caused someone to lose their job. Let me know when the corridor is clear and I'll slip out.”

The girl went to the door and cracked it open. She looked up and down the hallway and frantically waved for Ashley to leave.

“Thanks,” Ashley whispered on her way out.

The young woman bobbed her head and quickly shut the door. For an instant Ashley squeezed her eyes closed,
inhaling deeply. She certainly couldn't afford any more close calls like that, she thought, as Elliot braked at the red light. She'd decided to keep that little mishap to herself.

“I don't know about you, but I'm starved,” Elliot said. “Want to stop and pick up something or do you have other plans?”

“That sounds fine.”

“Chinese, Italian, Thai, West Indian?”

“Hmm, some jerk chicken would sure taste good right about now,” she said, imagining the hot spices bursting in her mouth.

“I knew I detected an accent,” he said, his tone teasing. He snatched a look in her direction.

“Accent? Me no have no accent, mon,” she mimicked, reaching way back in her family tree for her Jamaican roots.

Elliot chuckled. “That was really bad, you know.”

Ashley pressed her palm to her chest. “I'm wounded.”

“I'll try to make it up to you,” he said, his tone suddenly soft and intimate.

Her pulse quickened for an instant. She ran her tongue across her lips. She wasn't going to let him get into her head again. “There's a great West Indian restaurant up on Amsterdam and One-nineteen.”

“That's a nice little hop. Nothing closer?”

“I've been going there for years. It's worth the trip. It's really not far from the apartment, just far from here.
And I'm pretty sure we won't find an authentic West Indian restaurant in this neck of the woods.”

“Yeah, you're right. Guess I can keep my appetite under control for the drive across town.”

Ashley lowered her head and grinned.

“We accomplished a lot for our first day out,” Elliot said after a few moments of the returned silence.

“Once we activate all of the devices, hopefully, we'll get a hit.”

“The real key will be the Trojan that will upload once we connect with them through e-mail. We'll be able to monitor all of their electronic communications.”

If they kept the conversation on work, being in the same space would be bearable, Ashley thought as the Navigator picked up speed along the FDR Drive.

“I want to study each of the agencies,” Elliot said when they pulled to a stoplight. “I want to go back at least twenty years, if not earlier, on all of them.”

Ashley turned questioning eyes on him.

“I have a gut feeling that if an adoption agency was involved in your sister's abduction, it was right here in New York. We already have a buzz on the one on our list from the FBI. They are all highly trafficked. Almost too much. We need to find the source of their babies.”

Her heart pounded as she listened to him, amazed and deeply touched. From the moment she'd opened her eyes that morning and throughout the course of the day, she'd convinced herself that all the pillow talk was just that—talk. She'd decided that Elliot wasn't going to ride
in on his white horse and save the day. He'd gotten what he wanted, and so had she. This announcement, however, cast Elliot Morgan in an entirely different light. Maybe she was wrong about him.

“You're still willing to help me?” Uncertainty tightened her voice.

He glanced at her for a moment, caught the glint of hope in her eyes. “I may be a lot of lousy things, but I am a man of my word. If I say I'll do something, I do it.”

“Thank you,” she muttered, clearly chastised. There were few things worse than questioning a man's integrity.

Elliot gripped the wheel with more force than he intended until the pads of his hands began to burn and the crease in his forehead was so tight he was giving himself a headache. Had he totally been that much of an S.O.B. to make her think that he would back out on his word? If a man had nothing else, it had to be his word. It was his bond. Apparently, Ashley didn't think so.

He inhaled a tight, hot breath. Who was he kidding? He
was
an S.O.B. But he wasn't a liar. He switched on the radio to drown out the silence.

Ashley nearly leaped out of the SUV before it came to a complete stop. The tension had been so stifling that it had sucked up all the air. Her lungs burned as if she'd been running a marathon, and she realized that for long stretches of the ride she was holding her breath—waiting—for what she didn't know.

She pushed through the glass-and-chrome doors and was greeted by the mouth-watering aroma of peas and rice, plantains, stewed chicken, curried and jerk chicken, steamed vegetables and plenty of fast-talking island lingo. Feeling embraced by the familiar, she exhaled the breath that she'd been holding and felt her body begin to relax. She stepped up behind a young man with dreadlocks down to his waist and a red, black and green knit skull cap propped on top of his head.

She smiled as images of her summer trips to her grandparents homeland of Kingston, Jamaica invaded her mind. Poverty and crime intermingled with beautiful weather, crystal-blue water and white sandy beaches. The trips stopped when Diana disappeared.

“What do you recommend,” came the deep whispered baritone from behind her.

A sprinkle of goose bumps spread across her neck where she could feel the warmth of his breath touch her there. For a hot minute her mind went totally blank.

“Next!” the girl behind the counter called out, snapping Ashley out of her momentary black out.

Ashley stepped up to the counter and Elliot stood by her side. And then he did the damndest thing. He slid his arm possessively around her waist and pulled her securely against his side, looked down into her astonished eyes and said, “What are you having, baby?” in a voice that was so quiet, so personal, so incredibly intimate that the only thing she could envision was her legs wrapped around his back and the length of him
deep inside her; and him looking at her like he was right now, as if she was the most important person in his universe.

She lightly ran her tongue along her bottom lip. He smiled as if that was some sort of invitation and she was jolted back to her senses. She turned away from him. “I'll have the jerk chicken with peas and rice.”

“Vegetables or salad?”

“Vegetables.”

“Make that two,” Elliot piped in, full of cheer.

Ashley pressed her lips tightly together to keep from saying something she might regret.

Elliot paid the tab and carried their purchases back out to the Navigator and Ashley was just as hot as the jerk sauce on her chicken.