Longing for Home (50 page)

Joseph wasn’t in the kitchen nor the dining room nor the parlor. Where in heaven’s name was the man?

In the next moment she heard voices, low men’s voices, from just beyond the parlor windows. On the front porch?

Katie opened the front door but didn’t step out immediately. She didn’t want to interrupt Joseph’s conversation with his visitor.

“Are you sure about this?” Joseph was asking.

“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” ’Twas Tavish, of all people.

Katie peeked out enough to confirm it really was him. He and Joseph shook hands. But what were they shaking on?

“I’ll need a fortnight or so to make all the arrangements,” Joseph said.

Tavish nodded. “Let me know.” He stepped off the porch and made his way up the path.

Katie stepped out but didn’t stop him. Their parting at the céilí hadn’t been the happiest. Watching him walk away tore into her.

“Tavish came by, did he?” Katie couldn’t pull her eyes away from Tavish’s retreating form. He’d not even stopped in to say hello to her. ’Twas all she could do not to run after him and ask him not to go.

“He did,” Joseph said. “Tavish had some business to see to.”

“Business?” Her heart dropped further. Tavish hadn’t come with her in mind at all.

“He came to sell me his land,” Joseph said.

Her head snapped round, as she stared at him, wide-eyed. “He
what?
” Though she understood his words, her mind refused to accept them. “He’s selling his land? All of it?”

Joseph nodded solemnly.

In her mind Katie could hear her father’s voice, the words he’d spoken quietly around the hearth at home when talk of impossible land payments arose. “A man belongs to the land, not the other way around. If he loses that, he might as well lose his very soul.”

His very soul.

“Why would Tavish do that, Joseph? I don’t understand.”

Joseph clearly thought she should have pieced the puzzle together already. “Tavish wishes to follow a certain town baker woman to Ireland, but he doesn’t have the money to make the journey. The only thing he has of any value is his land.”

Oh, saints above.
“He’s not giving up his land on my account, is he?” The thought set her nearly into a panic. “Good heavens, Joseph. He can’t do that. He can’t.”

Joseph’s expression was tight. “On the contrary, he is quite determined to.”

Merciful heavens.
Something very like fear gripped her. Tavish couldn’t do this. He couldn’t give up his land for her, and for something she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted anymore.

Her heart raced and pounded, her mind spinning.

Joseph watched her closely but didn’t speak.

“I don’t know what to do.” Her heart ached. “I don’t know what to do.”

Joseph stepped closer. She’d come to realize in the weeks she’d known him that Joseph Archer was a man of compassion. She saw that in him again. “What does your mind tell you, Katie?”

“That if I don’t go back to Ireland, I’ll never see my father again, that it doesn’t make sense to delay my travels even a day with his time so nearly at an end.” Grief settled on her shoulders, a mourning for a loss she knew was coming but was powerless to prevent.

Joseph’s gaze didn’t waver, though his expression softened. “And what does your
heart
tell you?”

“My heart?”

He nodded. “In my greatest moments of indecision, when I think I have no idea what I truly want, I have found my heart knows the answer.”

What does my
heart
say?
Katie pushed away the arguments her mind made in both directions, and focused solely on what she felt.
What
does
my heart say?

A flood of memories and faces and moments rushed over her like a warm wave. The beloved almost-green farms, so different from Ireland but so dear to her. The stubbornly optimistic families of the Irish Road. Biddy’s precious friendship. Sweet Ivy. Darling little Emma. Joseph, a man of wealth and influence who respected and valued her—that would certainly never happen in Ireland.

And Tavish. Kind, loving Tavish, who’d lost one sweetheart to death and, his heart being tender as it was, still couldn’t bring himself to speak of her. A man capable of loving that deeply was well worth keeping. Tavish, who’d heard all of Katie’s history and loved her still. Who brought smiles to her face when all she felt capable of was crying. Who was willing to give up his home and his family for her.

That was what she wanted. All of it. That was the reason for her doubts. Her mind insisted she keep to her lifelong plans, but her heart knew what it wanted and needed.

Her eyes focused once more to find Joseph still standing there, watching her. He gave her a look of understanding. “I think you need to at least go talk to him.”

She nodded but couldn’t find her voice.

“If you hurry, you might catch him before he gets too far.”

Catch him.
That was exactly what she intended to do.

Katie took hold of her skirts and rushed down the porch steps.

“Tavish?” But he was too far ahead already to hear her.

Faster she ran toward the bridge to the Irish Road, ignoring the pain each jarring step sent through her sore shoulder. He hadn’t yet crossed all the way over the bridge.

“Tavish?” she called out.

He turned back, stopping when he saw her.

She stopped at the end of the bridge. He stood near the other end, looking at her.

“Why are you selling your land?”

Frustration entered his face. “Joseph wasn’t supposed to say anything to you.”

The river rushed by beneath their feet. Wind rustled the bushes and trees growing along the river bank. Katie stood there in the quiet, her mind spinning, no idea how to say what she felt.

“You would give that up for me?” She swallowed against the thickness in her throat.

“I’d do anything for you, Katie Macauley.” He didn’t step closer, nor did he move away. “If going to Ireland will make you happy, then I want you to go. But I won’t live here without you. I won’t spend the rest of my life wondering what might have happened if I’d gone with you.”

She saw heavy regret in Tavish’s eyes. Though she knew he would walk away from his house and his land and never blame her for it, he would regret the loss. He would.

She took a single step in his direction. “I have been thinking about Ireland, Tavish.”

He shook his head. “This is precisely why I told Joseph not to say anything to you. I won’t have you guilting yourself into a hasty decision.”

“No. Not guilt. That you’d do this for me means more than I can tell you.” Tears fell slowly from her eyes as overwhelming emotion nearly enveloped her. “You would give up your land for me, Tavish. My own father fully meant to give
me
up for his land.”

She didn’t bother to wipe away the tears. The determined and stubborn set of his posture eased, his gaze firmly on her.

“I love you, Tavish. I know I haven’t said it before, but I mean it. I’ve felt it for some time now.” Not since she lost her parents had she said those words to anyone. Part of her wondered if she even truly understood what they meant. “You said you’d always wonder what might have happened between us.”

He moved slowly, uncertainly, in her direction.

“I’d rather find out than look back and wonder,” she said. “And neither do I want to find myself years from now sitting in a damp flat in Belfast, thinking back on Hope Springs and regretting that I gave it up, not realizing I had a home here. A home where I needn’t spend the rest of my life all alone.”

It wasn’t at all like Tavish to remain silent for so long. Had she said something wrong? Was he unconvinced? She didn’t want him to think he’d forced her into changing her mind or that she’d made this decision out of guilt or a feeling of obligation.

“I’m needed here,” she rushed to explain. “I haven’t been needed anywhere since I was tiny. If I stay, the Red Road won’t feel like they’ve won. I might even save the Irish some troubles in the future. And the sweet Archer girls, I cannot just abandon them. My job at the Archer home is the best I’ve had yet. And to sell my own bread, to have a business of my own, that’d never happen in Ireland. Not ever. Granny—”

He’d reached her side and brushed his hand along her cheek, cutting off her words mid-sentence.

“You’re choosing to stay?” He whispered the question.

She nodded.

“Are you certain, Katie? I’ll not have you burdened by this like you’ve been the last years.”

She leaned into his touch. “We choose the regrets we can live with. I would always regret losing the home and family I have here. Always. I finally realized why I’ve struggled to make this decision, why there have been so many doubts.
This
is what I want. It’s what I need.”

“Are you certain?” he asked. “Absolutely certain.”

“This feels right in a way going back hasn’t in days,” she said. “Weeks, really.” Warmth began slowly spreading through her.

His thumb rubbed at her cheek, his hand slipping around the back of her neck. “If you ever change your mind, Katie, if going back ever becomes necessary to you again, promise you’ll tell me. Promise you won’t hold back out of a feeling of obligation or guilt or any such thing.”

Bless the man.
“I’ll tell you. I swear to it.”

His other hand slipped around the other side of her neck, so he held her head in his hands, looking directly into her eyes. “I love you, Katie Macauley.”

Her heart seemed to swell, almost to bursting.

“Will you let me court you properly now that you don’t mean to skip out?”

That was something she not only happily agreed to, but looked forward to wholeheartedly. “I believe I can accommodate you in that.”

His grin spread wide as the River Foyle. She laughed at his whoop of delight. No person had ever seemed
that
happy to have her around.

In a movement so swift she hardly noted it, his arms wrapped about her middle and he swung her about, lifting her feet off the ground.

Tavish set her on her feet once more. He turned in the direction of the Archer house. With one hand cupped beside his mouth, the other arm tucked closely around her, he called out. “She’s decided to stay!”

Katie looked over to see just who Tavish was speaking to. There stood Joseph, halfway out his door.

“Our Katie has decided to stay!” Tavish shouted loudly enough that even the Red Road must have heard him.

Joseph certainly did. He smiled back at them. Even from that distance, Katie fancied she saw honest relief in his eyes. Who could have imagined she would ever have found a place where she was wanted as much as she was in Hope Springs?

“Come on, then, Sweet Katie.” Tavish tugged her by the hand, pulling her across the bridge.

“Just where are we going?”

“I’ve an enormous family, love, and they’ll all be dancing jigs of joy to hear you won’t be leaving us.”

Jigs of joy. Good heavens, what a lovely thought. She joined her free hand with the one he held, clasping his warm, strong fingers. He meant to court her. To court her properly. Tears mingled with her contented smile, but they were tears of relief and happiness this time.

He looked back at her and, on the instant, halted his steps. They’d not even traveled as far as his granny’s house. “What’s the matter?” he asked.

She smiled ever broader. “Not anything. I am simply very happy.”

“As am I, my Sweet Katie.” He put his arms around her, his hands resting at the middle of her back. “Very, very happy.”

Katie put a single hand to his cheek, relishing the feel of his face beneath her fingers. She could grow used to such a thing. Tavish held her close, filling her with warmth and flutterings.

She smiled from deep inside, happier than she remembered being in a long time. Something in his sparkling eyes brought heat to her cheeks.

“I’ve thought about kissing you for weeks and weeks, Katie Macauley.”

Her heart made a valiant attempt to jump straight out of her ribs. Her gaze dropped of its own accord to his upturned lips. “I wish you’d just done it, Tavish, rather than merely thinking on it.”

The mischievous grin he wore grew. “Take a moment, then, to prepare yourself sweetheart, because I’m done thinking.”

He leaned close, his lips as near to touching hers as possible without actually doing so. He kept very still. She could feel his breath against her mouth. She brushed her thumb along his cheek, closing her eyes as she memorized that moment.

His fingers splayed across her back, holding her to him. He lightly brushed his lips once over hers, then again. Her pulse strummed through every inch of her.

At last he kissed her quite thoroughly, and she melted into him. Her arms wrapped about his neck as naturally as anything.

Tavish trailed kisses from her mouth to her temple before resting his cheek against hers. “Courting you, my Sweet Katie, is going to be a pleasure, indeed.”

She turned her head a bit, just enough to look into his face. His gaze met hers. The smile he gave her turned her knees weak all over again. She kissed his cheek, then leaned her forehead against his jaw.

For the first time since her childhood, perhaps in all her life, she felt truly and deeply hopeful. She’d spent the past eighteen years so entirely alone. Home had ever been a distant goal, something she only dreamed of finding again.

But it was there in a town torn by its own history. It was there among people who had embraced her as family. And it was there in the arms of a man who had willingly given up everything for the chance to have her in his life.

Her troubles were far from over, life far from settled. Hope Springs hadn’t found the way of peace. She yet had a father to mourn and a past that in many ways still haunted her, perhaps always would.

But in that moment, Katie knew she had, indeed, found home.