Looking for Love (24 page)

She held up
her hand. “That can wait. I want to know why you couldn’t make it
work.”

“
Does it matter now, Ella?”

“
I missed out on all those years with you.” Tears came again
despite thinking she’d been cried out already.

He grasped her hand. “I know. If I could
go back, maybe I would have tried to make it work. At the time, we
both agreed our fighting was having a detrimental effect on you.
You used to cry, get really upset—”

“
I don’t remember that.” Is that
why she’d always felt deep inside that the divorce was her fault?
As a child, she’d heard them fighting about her, but never
understanding why, had assumed she’d caused the fights.

He nodded. “You hated it. You used to hide
in a corner cowering. I never beat your mom but she used to make me
livid. I would scream at her and she back at me. Your schoolwork
suffered, you’d be sent home with symptoms but the doctor couldn’t
find anything wrong. There and then, we decided for our good and
for your good, to part ways. I couldn’t visit you, anything,
because we always ended up fighting about something to do with you.
The only thing we ever agreed on for you was the
divorce.”

“
The very worst thing,” she mumbled then shook her head. “Dad,
I don’t understand it and I wish you could have been right for each
other. I suppose that’s why I keep on searching for the right man.
I don’t just want anyone.”

He nodded and
smiled. “Mom was the only love of my life. I’ve kind of given up on
finding anyone else. Become too fussy over the years.”

She laughed although the mirth didn’t
reach right into her soul. In fact, the answers she’d been hoping
for hadn’t come. She wanted to hear her dad say that he shouldn’t
have married Mom in the first place, that he was certain from the
beginning he’d done the wrong thing.

She sucked in
a breath. “Do you wish you hadn’t married her?”

“
Of course not. I wouldn’t have had you.”

“
No, besides that.”

“
The first few years were magic.
I loved her. Wish we hadn’t grown apart and let our differences
come between us, but no, I don’t regret the times we did
have.”

“
Do you think you could have done
things differently? I mean, being older and wiser—” She grinned at
him. “—do you think you could have made it work?”

“
I don’t know, Lala.”

She warmed at the endearment he
used to
call
her when she was little.

“
Why do you worry so
much?
” he
continued. “Life is good. I’m happy. Your mom’s found a good
man.”

Her stepfather was a good man. Dad had a
point there. Not that she’d had much parenting from him since he’d
only married Mom a couple of years back.

“
The only thing I regret is the sadness I see in your eyes
sometimes.”

She shrugged.
“I missed all those years with you.”

“
We will make up for it now that you’re moving
here.”

“
Yes, I can’t wait.”

His loving smile assured her she’d done
the right thing coming here. In fact, she should have visited years
ago. The tension unwound and she returned his smile. Time for
something less intense.

“
Now show me your home. It looks
stunning.”

“
Did you bring your cozzie?” Dad
rose with enthusiasm.

“
No, Dad. I didn’t think…”

“
I’ve got a spare.”

She frowned at him. “Why would
you—”

“
Kept some in case you came. I
have about five different sizes.”

“
Oh.” The air left her lungs. Her
dad loved her and why had she doubted it for so long? “You nana. I
bet you they’re all full costumes.” She winked. “I wonder how
fashionable they are. How long have you been collecting
them?”

“
Hey, I have taste. Come see.” He
led her to the spare bedroom and she gaped at the expansive rooms
and arty spaces.
Something cold and tight inside of her began to melt, like
an ice block in the sun.

Ross sat before the firing squad
except they had pretty curls, batting eyelashes, and the only guns
were their penetrating gazes and sheepish grins.
Now what?

“
We’ve come to ask you something of great
importance.”

Andrea’s voice reminded him of
his least favourite teacher from school who gave him pages of
homework and pop quizzes when he least expected or wanted
it.
School
hadn’t been his favourite time in life.

Maybe they
needed help with
Exact
Match
. What
more could he do? Why didn’t Ella come to him? He hadn’t seen her
since that memorable night when she came over to his place to talk
about the magazine article and had kissed him. He’d waited for her
to contact him but nothing had happened. He wasn’t going to chase
after her.

Despite the commanding
tone,
Andrea’s smile and light brown eyes held warmth and a
little tease. “Ella needs your help.”

“
I thought as much. Why didn’t
she ask—”

Carol held up
her hand and leaned forward on his settee. “No, she mustn’t know
that we came here.”

“
Oh. Okay.”

Pauline sat near to him. He felt more
comfortable with her than the others seeing he’d had time to get to
know her during all those hours working at Ella’s place. He also
appreciated that she’d gotten the message he wasn’t interested and
not taken offence to it. She had character and poise and grace. A
lot like Ella but not as vibrant and get-right-under-your-skin as
her.

“
As you may have figured out by
now, well, we hope so, and we’re pretty da
rn sure—Ella loves you.”

The room became still for a
long, hot minute and their faces blurred before his vision. He
couldn’t think, couldn’t speak
; his heart only remained buoyed by this new hope
that made his pulse hammer like crazy in his ears.

“
What?” He eventually refocused
on their faces, apparently very pleased with themselves for
discovering this fact and for relaying it to him. How would this
help, really? It couldn’t be true.
Could it?

“
Yes, I know it sounds crazy,”
Carol continued. “She sure doesn’t show it, but we know. We’ve
actually suspected it for some time but always pushed the idea away
because you were too close to home and she didn’t seem to want
anything like that.”

Carol bit her
lip and cocked her head to the side, obviously a bit embarrassed at
how personal the conversation had gone. So was he.

“
How can you be so sure and how
does it help me?”

Pauline spoke
softly and a little hesitantly. “Well, I know you love her. I can
see it.” Her face turned red. “I saw it when we worked
together.”

He nodded, a
little embarrassed how obvious his feelings for Ella had been.

“
Ella wants to leave.” Andrea
broke the haze. “She’s moving to Durban.”

“
We don’t want her to,” Carol
added.

“
And you’re the only one who can
stop her,” Pauline said.

Moving to
Durban?

“
How the heck
can I stop her? She’s a free
spirit.”

“
She is?” Andrea said.

“
Well, she certainly doesn’t want me to control
her.”

“
Yes, that’s true.” Andrea rolled her eyes. “Stubborn as a
mule.”

He grinned. “And usually cautious, but
lately, she’s been very impulsive.”

Andrea
nodded.

“
Please, Ross,
it wasn’t easy for
us to come here and invade your space,” Carol said. “We would
really like you to tell Ella that you love her and make her want to
stay.”

“
I’ve told her that already. It made her want to run rather
than stay.”

“
Yes, you’ve told her, but you
haven’t told her how much.” Pauline raised an eyebrow.

“
As you well know just as much as
we do, Ella has had a rocky relationship history. She’s tired of
being burned and wants to settle down. If you can offer her
something more concrete than a love confession, like a marriage
proposal, she may decide to stay.” Andrea sat back and rested her
head on her hands. “It’s our last chance.”

“
Why do you want her to stay so badly? Maybe we should let her
go.”

Why was he saying that? It’s
just
that he
had a feeling this was all going to blow up in his face like the
last time he’d spilled out his guts to her.

“
Because we know she’s running
from true love and we don’t want her to miss out on it. We’ve all
been searching for it for so long and it’s been staring her in the
face for years but she’s been too blind to see. When she told us
she was leaving, we got together to try to find a way to make her
stay. We all felt that she would end up being more miserable if she
ran away. The only thing we could come up with was you.
You
have to do
something.
You
have to convince her that your love is strong enough. We
think it’s something to do with her father divorcing her mother
when she was twelve.”

He narrowed
his eyes at Carol. “What makes you so sure she loves me?”

He looked at Pauline, hoping to
find in her open and compassionate face an assurance
they spoke the
truth. He could see in her eyes that she believed it.

“
We just do.” Andrea shrugged.
“If we could use
The Album
, we would. Ella’s not allowed to use it on
herself.”

“
Why do we need to use
The
Album
?” He
sat up straighter. “If Ella loves me and I love her, we’ll stick
with one another no matter what. I mean, we’ve stayed friends
through many rough times. Now, the feelings I have for her are
stronger than friendship; they’re pretty powerful. I would give her
the world if I could. I want her to be happy and I want to be the
man for her so she doesn’t have to go through all these heartbreaks
from idiots. I don’t believe anything can come between us. Yes,
maybe my love will be tested in years to come but I’m willing to
stand through those tests no matter what it takes. She’s the most
important person in my life and I don’t think I’d ever be happy
without her.”

The girls stared at him, tears glistening
in their eyes, Pauline’s lips quivering as she seemingly held back
some emotions. Good thing they didn’t squeal and go all giggly on
him. They would have five years ago.

“
Well.” Carol coughed. “Seems you just have to tell Ella that
and she’ll come round.”

“
She will,” Pauline added,
sniffing and blowing on a tissue. “I know she will.”

“
Thanks, ladies. But I’m not so sure.”

“
Please.” Andrea pierced his soul
with her dark eyes. “We’re depending on you for this.
The Album
and our community
need her. She’s about to give up on
The Album
, too. Don’t let us down.”

“
I’ll try not to.”

“
That’s not good enough.” The muscular and tight-skirted woman
stood up. “You have to promise you’re going to do
something.”

He stared at Andrea and her persistence
and smiled. If he wasn’t so amused by their mission to come to him
and also touched by how much they cared for Ella, he would be
annoyed by her pushiness. Ella deserved no less than their
friendship and their closeness through the years. She also deserved
someone like him. Specially seeing her closest friends believed he
was ‘it.’ That bolstered him.

“
I promise.”

“
Thank you.” Carol jumped up and gave him a hug. The other two
nodded and showed gratefulness in their eyes.

Once they’d left, he slumped down onto his
couch and wondered what on Earth he would do to convince her. That
task would be the hardest in his life yet. He had an idea where to
start.

And could he
let go of his fear of losing her once and for all?

Because the
fear had held him back for way too long.

He didn’t have a choice. Ella
had always lived in their hometown. He’d relied on having her
nearby to turn to, to talk to. She was the only one he could
confide in, truly. And now
, he loved her, longed to kiss her, hold her, do
so much more to her, take her as his wife. Yes, he was ready for
that. They didn’t need a courtship. He knew her like the back of
his hand. Although how come he hadn’t picked up her apparent
‘love’, and how come she’d suddenly decided to move towns? Why
hadn’t he seen that coming?

Actually
, he had, in a way. He’d been under a
heavy cloud ever since the last kiss. Like he’d had a feeling it
was over. Especially the way she’d disappeared in a flash, leaving
him empty and angry.

He took in some tight breaths. He had the
power to change things. Or at least, try. It felt like he had to
prepare a speech for school again. In front of Miss Redwood. Heck,
it was like his matric exams. Fear of failure loomed like a dark
cloud on the horizon. This time, more than his career depended on
how he presented himself. His whole future did. Because where would
he be without Ella?