Lords of Retribution (Lords of Avalon series) (16 page)

“Wenna,” Trevan
began softly, “I have something to tell you.”

When Wenna saw how his face had fallen,
when she saw the pain in his eyes, she knew
something was wrong
. “Dear God! Don’t tell me you have a mistress, Trevan.”

“No, I do not have a mistress! That woman is not my mistress. Wenna, when I returned to find you engaged to Madingly
, I was heart-broken. I did go to Truro, only once. It was three days after you told me you were marrying the vicar. I had business there, and after that was concluded I went to, well, a place where those kinds of services are offered.”

Trevan swallowed and continued, “
I paid for the services of Miss Dinham. I did not hire her or pay for any other service beyond those two hours. I was not trying to hide anything from you. You were engaged to the Reverend at that time I did not consider the act to be an indiscretion. I haven’t told you, because there was no reason to. It happened while you were engaged to another man. In all truth, I had completely forgotten about the incident. It meant nothing to me, Wenna. I was hurting, and I needed a way to release some of my pent-up emotions.”

“Stop!” Wenna commanded.
She held up her hand. Her eyes filled with tears. She trembled slightly. She felt humiliated and betrayed. Like such a fool. She wrapped her arms about herself. “I was so certain you had not,” she shook her head and gulped in a huge breath before continuing. “I should never have forced him to tell you. Now I find the Reverend is not the fool, it is me, who is a fool.”

“Wenna?
” Trevan stepped forward to console her.

Wenna placed her hand firmly in the center of his chest and pushed him back. “Don’t touch me, Trevan.
”

Her chest heaved and she looked about to cry
. “Wenna, I did nothing wrong. You were engaged to the Vicar at the time,” Trevan said softly. “I was still in love with you, but I thought I had lost you.”

“But you made love to another woman!”

“I did not make love to her, Wenna, I fucked her. There’s a difference. I make love to you and you alone. If you hadn’t been engaged to the vicar, it never would have happened.”

“Ah, so it’s my fault?
” Wenna’s head snapped up in anger.

“No
! It’s no one’s fault, Wen Pen. While you were engaged to another man, I had sex with a prostitute. I paid to have sex with her. I never asked you how far you let Madingly go in your relationship with him. It’s because I loved you so much, I wanted you back, no matter what had happened between you. I had no say in what you did with him when you were engaged to him.”

“He kissed me once, Trevan,
only once. But you had sexual relations with another woman, a prostitute!”

Trevan shook his head in frustration, “While
you were engaged to another man!”

“How can I trust you now, Trevan?”

“Wenna, in the past five years since we’ve been courting and then engaged and having sexual relations, I never once had another woman, ever – be it a prostitute or otherwise. It was only you, Wenna! I paid for sex only after you sent me away and said you were marrying another man. You also told me you did not love me anymore, and that I would never be able to please you.”

Tears slid down her cheeks at that point
. She had hurt him true, but how could she get beyond this? The pain and humiliation. Her anger. The feeling of being betrayed. It was all so overwhelming.

Trevan tried to comfort her again
. She stepped back and away from him.

“No, Trevan,
leave me alone. I am very confused. I don’t know how I truly feel at this moment. No more talking. I need time…
alone
! Please give my excuses at dinner.”

Crying, Wenna walked swiftly past him and ran
into the hall and up the stairs.

After dinner, Trevan knocked upon Wenna’s door.

The door opened a crack.

“I want to talk to you, Wenna,” he said in a gentle tone.

Wenna nodded numbly
. She pulled her wrapper tighter about her as she moved back and allowed him entrance into her chamber.

“Wenna, I wish I hadn’t paid for the services of that woman, but at the time, I feared I had lost you
. I wish I could change what I did, but I can’t. I can only tell you that I love you, dearly. I give you my solemn oath I shall never stray from you, ever. Please forgive me, Wenna. I would never intentionally hurt you,” Trevan whispered softly. His hand rested upon her shoulder.

Wenna did not look up
. She could not get beyond the fact that Trevan was intimate with another woman. “I don’t think I can, Trevan. I can’t seem to get beyond imagining you doing what we do, with another woman. I – I just can’t. I feel like a fool, and I feel betrayed and,” Wenna willed herself to keep from crying. “I feel physically ill when I think of it. I can’t help that.” Wenna looked into his eyes then. “Trevan I realized that I loved you, and now this has come between us. And once again, I am not certain, about anything anymore.”

Trevan
gripped her arms. He was not losing her again.
He would not
!

“I understand how you feel, Wenna, because I felt it every day
after I learned you were courting the vicar and every single day and night after you told me you would marry him. I agonized nearly every moment wondering if he was holding you, kissing you and making love to you. I felt that way until the night you told me you would break off your engagement with him and give me a chance. Even then, I worried, because I feared you would still find me lacking. It was difficult taking you back without asking you what liberties he had taken with you. I decided I loved you and therefore, it did not matter. What mattered was that I had another chance to win you back.”

“
I did not do anything but kiss John once. You did much more,” Wenna said with a troubled frown.

“
While you were engaged to another man
!” Trevan said through gritted teeth. “I did not betray you, Wenna! You were engaged to another man for heaven’s sake.” Trevan stopped himself when he realized his anger might cause him to say hurtful things to the woman he loved.

“I wish I could see things so simply, Trevan
. I cannot help the way I feel. I cannot stomach the thought of you touching me, knowing that you were with another woman. I feel ill just thinking about it. It is safe now. I want to return home to Callywith with Grandfather and Senny. I need my home and my garden…”

“It is
not
safe yet, Wenna. Not until we locate the Brown Coats. I promised Gabriel I would keep Robert and Senny here until he returns, and I will. I will not let you return to Callywith yet. I am still your betrothed.”

“No
! We cannot marry now, Trevan, or even speak of it. Perhaps in time…”

“I will not go through this again, Wenna!
Tell me what I can do to make things right, for heaven’s sake. Either you will marry me or you won’t! Either you love me enough to take me as your husband, for I did nothing wrong, or you don’t love me enough to marry me.”

How could he think it was so simple
? He had sexual relations with another woman, a prostitute! Wenna took the velvet box from the top of the dresser that contained the Chynoweth sapphires and thrust it toward him. Trevan had to catch it or let it fall to the floor.

“Then we are not marrying
. For I cannot even think about marrying you the way I feel now. Three days after you came home to Cornwall you had sex with another woman!” Wenna was angry now.

“After you told me you did not love me and that you were marrying another man
that you did love! You were engaged, for heaven’s sake,” Trevan’s voice rose.

“Perhaps that day I planned to marry him, but after you came home…I realized you were correct that I didn’t know him well and I saw some things I did not like
. I – I only continued the engagement because I thought it would give me time to find out how I felt.” When she saw the anger clearly revealed in Trevan’s eyes she realized she had said too much. She watched as his jaw tightened. “Oh!”

“You hurt me and made me go through emotional hell to give yourself more time?
” he ground out.

“No, I would never hurt you intentionally Trevan-”

“You did! You had to know I was hurting, Wenna! Four weeks of hell.”

“I was hurting too, Trevan
. You hadn’t given me a thought in three months.”

“Bled
dy Hell, woman! We’re back to that are we? Had you told me you didn’t love him and you just needed time I would have given it to you. I never would have gone to Truro!” Trevan paced and ran a hand through his black curls.

“
Either you love me or you don’t, Wenna. You’ll marry me or you won’t. Which is it? I’ll not play your game again!” Trevan’s chest heaved. Why did this red-haired woman have to be so damned beautiful? Why did he want her even now when he was so mad he could bend her over his knee and...
Bleddy Hell
, what a mess this was!

Wenna saw the anger flashing in his eyes
. Well she was angry too. She could make no decision at that moment. She needed time. “I need time to think, Trevan.”

“Oh,
do you need time to visit the vicar to see if you still might have a tendre for him?” Trevan asked in a sarcastic tone.

“He came to tell me
of Miss Dinham because he said he still has feelings for me, Trevan.
You
did not tell me what you had done!” Wenna snapped at him.

“It happened while you were engaged to another man, Wenna
. It’s none of your business what I did the four and a half weeks you continued your engagement to a man whom I now learn you did not love, all the while dangling me upon your string.”

Wenna shrugged and swiped at the tears on her chee
ks. “Perhaps he truly loves me after all.” When she saw the pain in Trevan’s eyes, Wenna realized she might have gone too far.

“I suggest you find out
. Until you can give me an answer, we are no longer engaged. Good day, Miss Penrose.” Trevan gave her a short bow and turned to leave.

He stopped before he reached the door and turned to face
her. “You might want to ask your
Reverend
what act he was engaging in with Miss Janet Dinham,
prostitute
, when she told him her secrets. I’ll wager he was doing the same thing with her that I was! She’s a whore, Wenna, a high-priced one, but a whore nonetheless.” Trevan slammed the door behind him.

“Oh
!
Bleddy daft, cakey man
!” Wenna shouted as she removed her slipper and threw it at the door. She then sat upon the floor and gave in to her tears.

“I heard that!” Trevan
’s voice drifted to her from somewhere in the corridor.

Tremayne knocked upon the study door, which stood ajar.

“Who is it?” Trevan snapped
.

“It’s three a.m.” Tremayne said as he sauntered into the room
. He knew immediately his big brother was foxed.

“What the
bleddy Hell
do I care what time it is?” Trevan growled in irritation.

“You were supposed to be on watch an hour ago, but I
’ve taken your shift. You can fill in for me tomorrow morning,” Tremayne offered.

He looked to
his brother as he said, “Trevan, would you mind explaining to me what is wrong, it’s been some time since you’ve been this
boozy
. I assume this has something to do with St. Mabyn’s vicar, whom I tossed out the entrance gate on his
arse
earlier today. The look he gave me when he left told me he is not yet finished with you, or me, for that matter.”

“No worries
about him. I’m going to kill him at sunrise. In the Church of St. Mabyn, perhaps even on the altar,” Trevan said bitterly. He shrugged then proceeded to fill his glass again. He poured a glass of brandy for his brother.

Tremayne had the same black hair as Trevan’s
. Where Trevan’s was curly, his had a slight wave to it. Only two of Morva’s children had eyes that were not blue. That was Tremayne and his sister Tressa. They both had hazel eyes. Tremayne’s tended to be greener, whereas Tressa’s were more golden brown.

“
Sunrise is three hours away, Trevan. You would fall off your horse, hit your head on a stone and kill yourself. I’ll wager you can’t even stand from that chair on your own.” Tremayne crossed his arms over his chest.

Trevan chuckled
before taking a sip of brandy. “You’re probably correct, brother. I shant kill the no account vicar tomorrow.” Trevan looked to him and shrugged. “I’ll get him the day after.”

“Tell me what happened
. It has to do with Wenna. Mother said she was crying in her room the entire afternoon and evening.”

“Did mother talk to her?” Trevan asked
with concern.