Lose Control (8 page)

Chapter
Ten

“Myles.” Cassie
said his name again wondering what had him so lost in own thoughts that he
hadn’t opened his eyes and was still standing there, pants down and everything
hanging out. She was all for looking at him or even going for round two, but at
some point, they really should finish the meeting.

Not that she wanted
to. She was perfectly content foregoing the crap waiting for them upstairs and
staying right where she was gazing upon his glorious man parts. Myles had
everything and more going on in the lower regions of his anatomy, and she had
nothing but admiration for his genetic coding. Although, you could give a man
the most amazing tool, but if he didn’t know how to use it properly…no issues or
complaints there.

Myles more than
knew what he was doing in that area and did it in the most spectacular ways.
She was still pleasantly tingling in the all right spots and was thoroughly
looking forward to when they could get rid of the men waiting and get back to
it. Perhaps the next time, he could take her on the conference room table. Or
in the kitchen. Or maybe, she could convince him to let her do the punishing.
Use that incessant need of his to be in control against him, take charge and
torture him until he was the one begging for more. Cassie absently ran her
tongue along her bottom lip as wicked ideas started forming in her head. None
of it was going to happen, though, if they didn’t get moving.

“Myles.” She
said his name a little more forceful this time, hoping it would do the trick. If
it didn’t, she was going to get down on her knees in front of him and get him
to acknowledge her one way or the other. Not entirely a bad idea, now that she
thought about it. She could work with it. Give him a little tease before
heading back to the meeting, something for him to think about while they dealt
with Blake and his lawyer. Liking the direction of her thoughts were going more
and more, Cassie took a step forward.

The sound of her
heel tapping against the hardwood floor caused his eyes to shoot open. His body
tensed, and he took a step back. Okay, not the reaction she would have
expected. But when it came to Myles, Cassie was quickly learning the unexpected
was much more the norm. Not to mention his perpetual moodiness. Which, by the
way he was looking at her, something had put his boxer briefs in a twist…again.
No matter. Whatever had that muscle ticking along his jaw wasn’t going to bring
her down from the outstanding-up-against-the-door sex high she was currently
enjoying. If he wanted to be crabby, so be it. Really, though, would it be so
bad if the man learned how to relax and lighten up? Even a little?

Cassie crossed
her arms, glanced briefly at his exposed crotch, then back up, and winked. “Is
that for me? Or are you trying out a new company dress code?”

Myles looked down
and gave a low, “Son-of-a…” before turning his back to her.

What? He’d
suddenly gone shy on her? It was almost endearing and cute in an absurd sort of
way. She’d seen and experienced every exquisite inch of him. Did he honestly
think she didn’t have the sight of his dick happily branded into her memory? If
she had any say in it, she’d be able to recall that picture when she was old,
senile, and living in a retirement home. What would be even better was if he
was right there next to her still trying to put her over his knee to spank her.

Yeah, there was
no use in fighting it. The man had more issues than she could count, but she
liked him, and the thought of this being the start of a long and demanding, and
thoroughly satisfying, relationship just made her smile more. She always said
she would grab on to opportunities when they came along, and Cassie wasn’t
about to make the same mistake she made all those years ago. This time, she was
grabbing on to Myles with both hands and not letting go.

When he turned
to face her, she took in his stern face and the resolve present in his eyes. Myles
straightened his spine, clenched his fists, and leveled her with a look that
told her that she so wasn’t going to like what was about to come out of his
mouth.

“Thank you for
stepping in for my assistant, Cassandra, but your services will no longer be
needed. Please be assured, you will be fully compensated for the remaining days
outlined in the temporary agreement between my company and yours. When you get
your things together, there will be a car and driver waiting to take you to the
airport.”

Cassie gaped at
him, speechless. Did he just really fire her? Right after they had sex? Oh,
hell no! Cassie had never been fired in her life, and she wasn’t about to start
now. Especially when she knew none of this had anything to do with her job
performance. Did he honestly think she would quietly nod her head and leave? Her
heart might be aching at how easily it was for him to send her packing, but she
wasn’t going anywhere.

She squared her
shoulders and shot back. “Services, Myles? You were perfectly happy with my
services
a few minutes ago when you were
fucking me up against the door.”

“That’s not what
I was referring to and you damn well know it, Cassie.” Myles took a deep breath
and blew it out. As he did, his shoulders slightly sagged and when he
continued, the hard edge to his voice was gone. “It would be better for the two
of us if you just go.”

“Better? Who are
you to decide what’s better for me? What is this about, Myles?”

 
“Doing the right thing.”
 

Ugh! Could she
get a straight answer from him already? Cassie searched his eyes, looking for
any clue as to what was running through that head of his. Nothing. Not on the
surface anyway. She didn’t doubt there was a huge pile of crap hidden deep down
and perhaps behind a brick wall or two within the man. Taking a breath and
willing herself to calm down, she prayed for patience and a little help getting
to the truth of why he was acting like a jerk.
 

“Myles, you
can’t be with me one minute and fire me the next, giving me some cryptic answer
as a reason. How about you tell me what’s really going on?
That
would be the right thing to do. Anyway, I’m not leaving this
room until I get an explanation. A real one.”

A quick of flash
of pain and regret washed over his features before it was gone. “Cassie, I care
about you, desire you, and want to be with you. But, when I’m near you, I can’t
control myself. You tempt me beyond sensibility, and I will not be responsible
for hurting you again. I can’t. I won’t.”

Cassie’s heart
gave a quick flutter at his words. Everything she could have hoped to hear come
from him had just fallen from his lips. He cared for her, wanted, and desired
her just as she did him, which was exactly why this ridiculous notion of his about
hurting her was more than a little frustrating. “Myles, you did not hurt me.
You haven’t hurt me. If I didn’t like anything you were doing or was
uncomfortable in any way, I would have told you. Why is that so hard for you to
believe?”
 

“Because, she
didn’t. She never told me and then she left. What’s stopping you from the doing
the same?” His shoulders and face dropped even more before he continued, more
under his breath than at her. “Christ, why would you even want to stay with
someone like me?”

Whoever “she”
was had created a pit of pain and self-doubt inside a man who should be nothing
less than completely confident and comfortable with himself. The way he was
standing there, as if he was defeated and ashamed, tore at her chest, and she
swore if she ever met the woman, she’d bitch-slap her for putting that look on
his face. “Myles, who didn’t tell you? What happened?”

A beat passed
before he let the story pour from him. Cassie listened as he told her about his
ex, how she didn’t enjoy his sexual preferences, asked him to change, and Myles,
thinking he could, tried. He told her about how he struggled to be the man she
wanted and something he wasn’t. How it felt to hold himself back and when she finally
gave him the opening, his true nature emerged with so much force that he was
blinded to how he was hurting the woman he had loved.
  

“It was my
fault, Cassie. I destroyed everything and for no other reason than that’s who I
am. What I’m capable of.”

In Cassie’s
opinion, his relationship wasn’t the only thing that had been destroyed. Myles
didn’t just have doubts, he clearly didn’t like himself, and that tore at her
chest even more. She just hoped the damage wasn’t irrevocable.

“Myles, it wasn’t
your fault. Not all of it, at least. Yes, you should have questioned if letting
yourself go with her was a good idea. But that doesn’t mean her giving you a free
pass was a good one either. Let’s be honest, the two of you were doomed from
the beginning, and if you want to lay the blame on someone, then put it where
it belongs. On both of you. Actually, it’s more like a seventy-thirty split
with your ex being the high seventy.”

Myles shook his
head. “No. I don’t believe that. I was the one…”

Cassie shook her
head back to stop him, refusing to let him give voice to his reasoning behind
his self-loathing again. “Myles, I’ve been telling you over and over again I
would stop you if you were hurting me in any way. I’m in charge of what happens
to my body. Not you. If I told you to stop, would you have?”

“Of course.”

Cassie shrugged.
“Exactly. She could have easily done the same. I’m not belittling or condoning
the fact she got hurt. What I am trying to say is if she wasn’t comfortable, she
had the power to end it. But, for whatever reason, she chose not to say
anything. That’s on her. Besides, the two of you should have known it wasn’t
going to work in the long run the minute she asked you to be something you
weren’t. Myles, being in a relationship is more than just making the other
happy. It’s about being happy with each other, too. Being content with who they
are, accepting their strengths and their weaknesses. Having a compatibility,
both in and out of the bedroom. You two simply didn’t fit together. I give you
credit for trying, but you can’t change who you are. And no one should ever
make you think you have to.”

She walked over
to him, placed her hands on his chest, and looked up directly into his eyes. “Now,
you and I, on the other hand, happen to be completely compatible. I don’t want
someone who is going to make love to me as if I’m fragile and easily
breakable.” Cassie ran her hand down his arm. When she reached his clenched
fist, she used her fingers to pry open his palm. Some of the tension left his
body as she guided his hand up the back of her thigh until it rested flush
against her backside. With her hand on top of his, she squeezed and tilted her
pelvis into him. “I happen to like the way you handle me. Control me. Dominate
me. I like you for you, Myles. No changes.”
 

Cassie saw the indecision
in his eyes before his other hand cupped the back of her neck and he slowly
bent down to place his lips on hers. She instantly opened for him and melted
her body into his, silently submitting and reassuring him she trusted him, belonged
to him.

What started as
a slow almost sensual kiss gradually became more bold and powerful. She could
almost feel the lingering doubt within him wash away with each stroke of his tongue.
Soon it was the type of kiss she’d come to know was pure Myles. Consuming and
demanding. He pulled her even tighter against him as his tongue dove and
swirled, commanding her to do the same. When he finally broke the connection,
his eyes burned with a hunger that caused an involuntary shiver to run down her
spine.
 

Nearly
breathless, she asked, “Does this mean I’m not fired?”

“That depends.
Are you still considering flying off with Blake?”

“Nah, I just
wanted to make you jealous.”

Myles smiled and
swatted her bottom, none to gently, in response. “Mission accomplished. We’ll
discuss further punishment regarding that later. Against my better judgment,
though, we need to deal with the little asshole first.”

Cassie bit back
a groan at the sudden sting to her backside and the promise of being punished.
What she wanted was to forget all about Blake and to continue this discussion
with her bending over to have Myles slap her again.

Before the
slapping could commence, though, Cassie needed to talk to him about where this
was going, if they were going anywhere at all. Even if she did finally get
through to him and was successful in alleviating his doubts, did that mean they
were going to continue to see each other and explore this attraction between
them tomorrow or the next day? The problem was she really didn’t know and, honestly,
she cared about him too much not to. Cassie wanted more than something
temporary. Three days with him wasn’t enough, and as soon as they were alone
again, she was going to find out exactly what he wanted in return. By force, if
necessary. Cassie smiled as a vision of Myles tied to a chair, naked, flashed
in her mind. She might just have to tie him up whether he wanted to answer her
questions or not.

In a hurry to
get the meeting over with, Cassie leaned up and placed a quick kiss on his
lips. “I’m ready when you are.”

Myles grew
silent and reached out to slip a stray stand of hair behind her ear. His eyes
held hers for a moment before he dropped his hand and stepped back. “Good. But,
before you go to the conference room, stop at the bedroom and replace those.”
Myles pointed at something behind her and Cassie turned her head to look. Lying
on the floor, discarded, was what was left of her thong. Evidently, Myles
didn’t like the idea of her sitting in the meeting with nothing on under her
skirt. Oh, had the man learned nothing yet? Dangling that tidbit of information
in front of her was entirely too tempting.