Losing an Edge (Portland Storm Book 13) (26 page)

“I missed you,” she said, her voice muffled in my coat.

“Not as much as I missed you.”

“All right, you two lovebirds,” Jesse said. “Now that everyone’s present and accounted for, can we get to the business of sorting out what we need to do about Guy?”

“Feed him to the damn agilators!” Connor squealed, jumping on Jesse’s balls so hard the man let out an “oof.”

Not that I had any intention of letting Cadence go any time soon, unless she wanted me to release her. I was perfectly content to stay exactly as we were, and besides, I didn’t want to give Connor any excuse to start jumping on me instead of Jesse. Thanks, but no. I liked my balls exactly how they were.

She didn’t move to pull away, thank goodness. I needed the comfort of being able to touch her. To reassure her I was here.

“Don’t use Mommy’s words,” Jonny admonished his son, carrying Cassidy to his recliner and taking a seat. She fussed for a moment, so he rocked until she settled down again.

Sara gave Connor an eye-rolling sort of look and shook her head, not that it would do any good. “I think the bigger order of business is figuring out where Cadence is going to stay, since she seems to think she’s putting all of us in danger by being around us.”

“Which is absolute bullshit,” Jonny said. He turned to us and waited until Cadence peeked out at him. “You’re in more danger if you’re alone than we are if you’re with us. You should stay here, exactly like you have been. He hasn’t tried anything while you’ve been here. He’s only coming after you in public when you’re alone or might as well be.”

“Just because he hasn’t done anything yet, that’s not a good enough reason to assume he won’t ever.”

“Just because he’s threatening you, that’s not a good enough reason for you to do something stupid and go off all on your own,” her brother countered.

“But you didn’t read that note.” She started shaking against me as soon as she mentioned the stupid message he’d left for her on her car. “You didn’t see. He threatened all of you. Every single person in this room. If anything happened to Connor or Cassidy—”

“He’d have to be an idiot to try anything with one of the kids,” Anthony cut in. “Or any of the rest of us, for that matter. I don’t think that’s his game. He wants you to be scared something will happen to one of us so he can trap you alone. That’s what he’s been doing all along, and I don’t think there’s any reason we shouldn’t assume that’s what he’s going to continue to do until he’s finally arrested or deported.”

“But what if he’s even more off his rocker than we think?” she argued.

“Then you come and live with the two of us,” Jesse said. “Then you’re away from the kids but not all alone. You’d have me and Anthony to look after you.”

“I’m not… You’re about to get…” Cadence spun around to face the rest of the room, staying in my arms, though. “The last thing the two of you need is a third wheel.”

“Oh, hush now,” he replied.

Sara plopped down on the arm of Jonny’s recliner, rolling her eyes. “So you forget all the crazy ideas in your head about protecting everyone else and stay put. The cops are going to arrest him. One of these days—and probably soon—he’s going to do something dumb enough that he’ll get caught, and they’ll throw his ass in jail—”

“Mommy said
ass
!” Connor shouted.

“—and then they’ll deport him. You can be done with him for good.” Sara finished it without even paying her son’s outburst any attention.

“Not for good, though. What if he goes after Mom? Or Chloe or Corinne? He can find all of them easily enough and torment them to get to me.”

“You can’t protect the whole world, Cadence,” Jonny said. “And who says getting away from us will be enough to make him leave us alone? If he’d go after Mom, what’s to say he wouldn’t try to attack someone you care about here, whether you’re around or not?”

“Would you stop being reasonable?” she said, throwing up her hands. I rubbed her arms, trying to calm her down, but she was so worked up I doubted it would help much, if at all. She leaned back into me, though. “Everyone needs to stop making sense, because Guy doesn’t. He just doesn’t make any sense at all. He’s gone off the deep end, and I’m trying to be sure if he’s going to hurt anyone, it’ll be me and not one of you. Because I can’t handle that.” She shook her head adamantly. “I can’t. If he did anything to—”

“Then come and stay with me,” I said, cutting her off before she went any further into panic mode.

She went completely still against me. Silent.

Well, fuck. We’d gone straight from everything progressing nicely to now she might want to run away. I should’ve eased her into the idea instead of tossing it out there like I had, but it was too late to take it back.

Now I had to pick up the pieces.

STAY WITH LEVI
? Was that honestly what he’d just suggested?

I glanced at Cam, who raised a brow.

Maybe I’d misheard him. Because if Levi actually
had
suggested I move in with him, surely Cam would be shouting threats at him or something similar, but instead he was looking expectantly at me.

Levi had stopped rubbing my arms, and he’d gone kind of rigid after asking me. So maybe I’d heard him right, after all.

“You don’t have to go live with him if that’s not what you want,” Sara rushed to say, after a prolonged silence. “But I don’t think anyone in this room is going to sit back and tell you we’re fine with you not staying with
someone
. You can stay here. You can go live with Anthony and Jesse. You can move into Levi’s apartment. Hell, I think half the other wives and girlfriends with the team would invite you to come live with them if it comes down to it. But you can’t go off somewhere all by yourself with no one else around. Not gonna happen.”

“I’ve got a guest room at my place,” Levi murmured in my ear. “I’m not suggesting… I mean, only if that’s…” He sighed. “This is not easy to talk about with your brother glaring at me.”

I nodded and reached for his hand. “Come with me.” Then I led him up the stairs, away from the insanity that had started the moment he and Cam had returned from their road trip.

“What the hell do you think—”

“We need to talk in private, Cam,” I said, cutting my brother off and not slowing down at all. “Ten minutes. We’ll be back.”

“If she goes to live with him, they’ll be alone a lot of the time, you know,” Sara admonished him.

“Not in my house,” Cam grumbled.

When we got to my room, I closed the door behind us and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

Levi stood there looking uncomfortable as all get out, shifting from foot to foot.

I patted a spot on the bed beside me. “Sit down.”

He shook his head. “I just don’t want you to think this is about me trying to rush you,” he said, staying put. “I’ve got a guest room. You could have your own space. Bathroom. Privacy. I’m—I’m not trying to get you in my bed.”

“I never thought you were.”

“I mean, I
want
you there. In my bed. But not until you’re ready.” His dimple popped out on his cheek, and he dragged a hand through his hair.

I grinned and ducked my head. He was so embarrassed that I was embarrassed for him. It was kind of sweet. How on earth had I ever thought Levi was even remotely like Guy? The thought of Guy being embarrassed about anything was laughable.

“I know what you mean, Levi,” I said, once I got myself together again. “I know what this is about.”

“I swear, I’m not going to try anyth—”

“Would you please stop making me promises like that?”

He raised a brow.

“It’s kind of flattering to think there might be something more to you asking me to come and live with you than you simply wanting to protect me from a psychotic stalker ex-boyfriend.”

“You can’t honestly believe there’s not a hell of a lot more involved than that, can you? Cadence, I’ve been pursuing you since you first showed up in Portland more than a month ago. Only I’ve been trying to play by your rules and give you the time and space you need to come to terms with the fact that we’re supposed to be together. And I’m
still
trying to play by those rules. If you’re not—” He broke off for a moment, crossed over to sit beside me. He took my hand, sending tingles racing up and down my spine. “I don’t want to move too fast. You’ve been through hell, and you’re still in hell. I’m trying to be a good guy and put your needs above mine, but it’s not easy when all I can think about is you. Making sure you’re safe. Doing whatever I can to make you happy. Being with you in every possible way.”

I slid the pad of my thumb in lazy circles over the back of his hand.

“I’ve got to be completely honest with you,” he said, taking me by surprise.

“You haven’t been?” I blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out what he could have been lying about.

“For the most part. But I’ve never told you the whole truth about why I started pursuing you.”

“You mean it wasn’t the spread in
ESPN: The Body
?”

He licked his lips and grinned. “That might have had something to do with it. But seriously… It was really shitty of me. That night, at Burnzie’s house when I first saw you? I was beating myself up again over being less than my brother, and I wanted to find something—anything—where I was a step up on him.”

“I know that. We talked about it that first time we went to Shari’s. How you’re always comparing yourself to him.”

“But I didn’t tell you all of it. The thing is, these days, you’re more famous than Katie, so I thought…”

“You wanted to date me because I was more famous than your brother’s wife?” I spluttered, trying not to laugh. Only, maybe I didn’t try too hard. Or not at all.

He gave me a sheepish look. “I know. It’s ridiculous, right?”

“It’s kind of funny. Did you seriously think that could somehow make you believe in yourself more?”

“Nah. Not
me
. I just thought maybe some people would be more likely to take me seriously. But I think that was all in my head.”

“Seems to me you’re finally starting to take yourself more seriously—at least if I’m focusing on how you’re playing these days. You’re not hesitating out there. You’re only doing what you know you need to do.”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Something tells me Bergy wouldn’t say
maybe
about that. Or your brother. Or anyone.”

“I know. I’m too hard on myself. It’s not an easy habit to break when you’ve been doing it for twenty-four years.”

“But you realize being with me isn’t going to do a darn thing to make you any better or worse than Jamie is, right?”

“Yep. And I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that even though I’ve felt like I’m in competition with him in everything I’ve done my whole life, he hasn’t got a clue.”

“No?”

“No. He only wants the best for me. Like I do for him, to be honest. It’s all been in my head.” He quirked a grin at me, letting that dimple come out again. “Kind of like you. You’re the starring attraction.”

“I’m not just in your head, though. I’m as real as it gets,” I said before I thought better of it. Then I nibbled on my lower lip, watching as his gaze lowered there.

“Trust me.” Levi took a long breath, lingering on it like he was trying to brace himself. “I’m very much aware of precisely how real you are. Too aware.”

My heartbeat was pounding so hard I thought my chest might explode. “So you’re serious about this? About me coming to stay with you?”

“Serious as Jesse’s chocolate-covered-bacon obsession. I’m not scared of what Guy might do to me, but I’m fucking terrified of what he might do to you if he got you alone.”

“So what happens when you guys go back out on the road?”

“Come back here. Go stay with Anthony and Jesse. Katie would love some company, I’m sure, or maybe the two of you could go stay with her mom and have a week-long slumber party. Whatever you want—I just don’t want you to be alone. Not until we’re sure that son of a bitch is out of your life.”

I couldn’t stop chewing on my lip. “I still don’t like the idea of him coming after me while I’m with you.”

“Better than him coming after you when you’re with Connor and Cassidy, though, right?”

I nodded.

“I solemnly swear I’ll keep my hands to myself—unless you don’t want me to.”

Laughter burst free without my permission. “Thought you were going to start quoting the Weasley twins on me.”

“I’ll save that one for when you’re ready.” He winked. “Because at that point, I
will
be up to no good.”

Something in the general vicinity of my heart fluttered. “All right.”

“All right?”

“I’ll come to stay with you. We can work out the keeping-your-hands-to-yourself part once we’re away from my brother’s house.”

“That sounds like a plan I can live with.”

Surprisingly, it sounded like a plan I could live with, too. “Mischief managed?”

“Not yet, it’s not.” He nipped my nose.

I laughed again as we got up and headed back down the stairs to fill everyone else in on what we’d decided. The smell of pizza nearly knocked me over. Or maybe it was Levi picking me up and carrying me over his shoulder so we could go downstairs to the pizza faster.