Losing Control (18 page)

Thorne got on top of me and took off his shirt.

“I thought we were taking Lane out to breakfast,” I reminded him. Lane was staying over at a friend’s place again so the loft was empty.

“We’re still going to do that,” Thorne said, hurriedly taking off his pants and helping me take off my clothes until we were both lying naked on his bed. “After,” he winked.

He stood on his knees on the bed, watching me. “Do you want to please me?” he said.

I ran a hand down his chest, over his navel.

He bent to lick my nipples one by one, until they were erect, taking his time going from one to the other. I instinctively pulled him closer to myself. He broke off only to kiss me on the mouth and then went back to his ministrations, doing everything it seemed, to drive me out of my mind.

“God, Thorne!”

I felt his tongue on my navel and he touched one hand to my clit, rubbing it and his mouth was still pleasuring my areolas and their pink nubs which had become so erect they were almost hurting. His fingers were working their magic in my special place, causing sensations that were beyond words. It was almost as though my body was solely under his spell, and the only pleasure they desired was the one associated with him. Soon, his fingers had me moaning so loud, I was worried someone might hear us. But Thorne didn’t care. He kept his pace, his fingers and the tongue going over my nipples and the pleasure reached a point where he made me come as easily as he always did.

I lifted myself up. It was his time to get the same kind of pleasure that I had just experienced. He lay on the bed and I took his cock in my mouth, grabbing the shaft and tugging at it, putting the tip inside my mouth and using my tongue on it, until he was breathing hard. His cock was wet with my saliva, and some precum of his own that I could taste in my mouth. I lowered my head onto his cock, took as much of it as possible into my mouth and he guided my head into a steady motion. Soon, I knew he was at the same height of pleasure as me and his cock was erect, ready and I helped put a condom on him.

Thorne switched places with me and then positioned me on my knees on the bed, lowered my head down onto the mattress and kissed my ass. At first his tongue went around my cheeks, biting just a little, his teeth grazing the skin and then suddenly, his tongue was darting in and out of my pussy. The effect was beyond pleasure, beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before.

Then, on all fours, still on the bed, Thorne thrust into me from behind, my already slick pussy welcomed him without any resistance. He grabbed the back of my waist with his hands, and kept thrusting, once again making me come.

He flipped me over again, pulled me towards himself and entered me again, his cock filling me up, while his fingers strayed over my breasts, and squeezed them. The pleasure mounted again inside me, seemingly quicker than the last time, when his teeth grazed my nipples. After a while he got into the same thrusting rhythm, and leaned in to kiss me on the mouth while he fucked me harder and faster, and this time, when I got close to the brink he announced his pleasure as well, and we crossed the barrier of lust, together, Thorne’s arm propped on the bed next to my face and his hand grabbing a lock of my hair.

When he finally pulled out of me, he kissed my lips.

He dropped on the bed next to me, spent and out of breath.

“Fuck,” Thorne said.

“Does that answer your question?” I asked.

Thorne lifted his head and looked at me, clueless. “What question?”

“The one you asked when we started,” I said. “You asked me if I wanted to please you.”

Thorne dropped his head back onto the pillows.

“Hell yeah,” he said, with a content smile on his face.

Seeing another young couple on the floor of the club was downright enticing. I’m not sure what that said about my own feelings for this lifestyle, but at this point I was beyond caring. I felt Thorne, standing next to me; his hand was holding mine and I felt this strange connection to him. My palms started sweating when the male started walking around the female on the X. Thorne gave my hand a gentle squeeze and there was warmth in his being there. It was wrong, watching a display like that but because we were both a part of this big secret, it was a thrill I couldn’t even begin to understand.

“Come with me,” Thorne whispered in my ear.

I heard the words on his mouth and every syllable that forms on his lips was inviting me, literally calling out. Before I knew it, he was leading me towards the back-rooms, guiding me, and when we finally found one that was empty, his hands shoved my body against the wall, rough enough to be noticeable but not enough to hurt. His mouth closed over mine almost instantly and his hands were still holding my shoulders in a firm grip. This kiss felt different than any other kisses I’d enjoyed with him. He was getting more demanding with every encounter, bolder than before.

“You liked it,” he said, his voice hoarse, as his eyes burned through me. “You liked watching them, didn’t you?”

He kissed me again without waiting for an answer.

“Yes,” I responded, when he broke off. “I liked it.”

“You wanted that to be us?” he said and though he sounded confident I could also see the urgent expectancy in his tone.

I lowered my head, because I was still a little embarrassed. He lifted my chin up with his finger, bringing it closer to his face. “Don’t think,” he said. “Stop thinking. Just tell me what you feel. Did you want that to be us?”

After a pause, I finally admitted it.

“Yes,” I said. “I wanted that to be us.”

The sentence hadn’t even finished when I felt Thorne’s grip on my shoulders again and he turned me around until I was standing with my face against the wall of the back-room. His hand reached beyond my dress and inside my thong and I couldn’t help moaning with pleasure.

“Thorne…”

“You’re wet Elena,” he breathed down my neck. “You’re so fucking wet, you know that?”

His hands were not the only thing making me pumped full of desire. It was also his voice and the way he was saying those words, even the way he said my name. There was something extremely gratifying about hearing it all in his deep, husky voice.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he said.

His hand continued making me pumped full of desire, until the combination of all this made me so unbearably hot, I was having trouble holding myself back. The whole idea of doing this here, in one of the back rooms, knowing what people outside were doing, all of it was just…

“Thorne!”

That should have been his clue to keep going, but instead he stopped.

Turned me around so I was facing him again.

“You still want to know what it means to be a sub?” he asked.

The dynamics of the world had changed.
Everything
had changed. We were not the same couple anymore. We were not the same people.

“Yes,” I replied, with conviction. “I want to know.”

“I can show you,” he said. “But you have to make a commitment.”

I was so hot for him I really didn’t care what commitment he was even talking about.

“Okay,” I said dismissively, but his fingers were lifting my face towards his.

“Being a sub means your body is mine,” he said. “It means you can’t do anything unless you have my permission. It means if I say you can’t come, you can’t come until I say you can. Do you understand that?”

“Yes,” I said. “I understand.”

He kissed me again.

“Good,” he said. “Then we have a deal.”

Thorne was all I could think about.

I remembered the things I saw the couple doing, while I was at work and I remembered everything that happened between us. According to the ‘commitment’ we were supposed to stay silent about everything to the people at work and we weren’t going to talk about it with anyone else. So the entire week at work, I watched him come and go and acting like he didn’t even know me, when we had just had a raunchy quickie the previous night. I watched him talking to other people, and acting professionally when he had just sent me the dirtiest text. The fact that I was the only one who knew that side of him, the only one who was in possession of that secret, was exciting. The worst and the best was when we greeted each other in the hallways or in the elevator, surrounded by other people and had to act casual.

Apart from the dirty texts, Thorne always sent me one text every night, which was nothing but one single word: GOODNIGHT. And I was supposed to reply with the same word. No Emojis, not even a picture message. No questions or answers. And I was supposed to wait until I got his next direction. The weekends couldn’t come fast enough for me. I sometimes laughed at the hilarity of this situation, when I was thinking about this over lunch break with my two office besties who had no clue what was going on, but every time I saw Thorne, it all felt real. Especially when he texted me at night.
Our secret.
Our beautiful, delicious secret. And then, finally, Friday arrives, and not a moment too soon. My heart was doing the whole cheerleading butterflies routine and I couldn’t believe how anxious I was. I didn’t even think it was possible to feel that way about someone anymore.

When Thorne walked in to work on Friday morning he looked the same: crisp white shirt under the power suit, composed, business as usual. He barely even looked in my direction. I didn’t know how he could do it. At times, it was impossible to think that he might actually be the guy who made those plans with me, but the confirmation that his planned texts provide cancel every doubt. By lunch the anticipation was killing me.  Eventually it was time for everyone to go home and I told Tristan and Alex I had some work still left to do and they frowned but left anyway because thankfully they had plans, just like everyone else. But even after most of the office was empty, Thorne’s assistant was still working at her desk. An hour passed by and I watched her going into Thorne’s office, heels clacking. I could see him through the glass too, busy working, his attention completely diverted to something on his desk.

A part of me wished that Thorne would give me a glance, and not just the kind of glance that he gives his co-workers. That he should announce to the world what was going on. And another part of me, that seemed to be rearing its head a lot lately, actually wanted this routine, craved this secrecy. It was actually having fun in the waiting, in the knowledge that the added secrecy was only making things better.

Finally, it was time for me to leave.