Losing Eva (The Eva Series Book 2) (17 page)

“I’m okay,” Brynn said attempting to put on a brave face. It had been a year since she lost Sophie and she still grieved, but losing Adam was still very fresh in her mind. “I miss them,” she whispered.

“I know,” Lucia said sympathetically. “I miss my baby, too.”

They hugged each other and held each other for a long moment. Brynn pulled back first and wiped her eyes. She didn’t want the employees to see her cry.

“I guess we should help the girls clean this mess up, huh?” she said, all business.

Lucia nodded her head, and they set to work getting ready for the lunch crowd.

The restaurant had cleared out after the breakfast rush, but there were still a few people coming and going throughout the morning. Most of the faces Brynn knew, but she was happy to see that there were many new ones.

As the door opened, Brynn looked up and felt her breath catch for a second. She turned away quickly, embarrassed.

It had been a long time since anyone had caught her off guard like that, nobody since Adam. Nobody ever, not since Adam. The man sat down at the small wooden breakfast counter and opened a menu.

Brynn was nervous. She looked around for Lucia or Gertie, but nobody was around. Crap. I’m going to have to go up to him. She paused for a moment, but nobody appeared to rescue her.

You’re an idiot. It’s just a man. No big deal. You talk to men every day. You can do this, Brynn.
Brynn didn’t know why this man made her so nervous. He was tall, with chestnut colored hair. And when he walked, Brynn could tell that he was sure of himself.

He probably knows how good looking he is, too.
Brynn decided she didn’t like him. He’s probably arrogant.

He was looking around for someone to help him.

Crap, where are Lucia and Gertie?! Dammit!

Brynn walked over to him slowly. “Hi, would you like some coffee?”

He looked at her, his hazel eyes lighting up as he smiled. “Sure. Thank you.”

He’s nice. Dammit!

“Would you like to order?” Brynn asked using her most professional tone.

“Sure,” he said looking down at the menu.

Brynn stood and waited as he read down through each page.
Why does the menu have to be four pages?

“Okay. Got it,” he said enthusiastically as he looked up at her. “Three eggs, over easy, wheat toast, hash browns, two sides of sausage, two sides of bacon, two buttermilk pancakes, and some corned beef hash.”

“Wow!” Brynn said, in spite of herself.

The man laughed. “I know. I just flew in at two a.m., and there was nothing open, so I’m starving!”

“Well, I’ll get that in for you right away, then,” Brynn said, amused. He was built like he was athletic, but she hadn’t expected him to order that much food.

Brynn rang in the order and a few seconds later, Lucia came out of the kitchen. “Is your guest count right on this, Brynn? Is this really for one person?”

Brynn looked over at the man sitting at the counter drinking his coffee.

“Oh my,” Lucia whispered, following Brynn’s gaze. “He’s… he’s….”

“I know,” Brynn said quietly, trying not to stare.

Lucia smiled. She couldn’t remember a time when Brynn ever looked at a man. Even though everyone knew that she loved Adam, Lucia also knew they had their problems. She wanted Brynn to be happy. Brynn was like a sister to her, and she couldn’t remember ever seeing her completely happy. It was nice to see her mooning over a stranger.

“You should talk to him,” Lucia said casually.

“No way!” Brynn said, her cheeks turning red. She had been working all morning after not getting any sleep, and wasn’t feeling very attractive at the moment. “I look horrible.”

“You look beautiful, like you always do,” Lucia scolded her. “Turn around, he’s calling for you.”

Brynn turned around, and the handsome man was gesturing for her to come over. She smoothed her hair and tried to compose herself, feeling a strange nervousness in her belly.

“Did you need more coffee?” she asked politely.

“Yes. I mean no. I just wanted to know what there is to do in this city? I’m going to be here for a month or so for business, and I want to get my bearings. I’m assuming that you live here?” he smiled again, and Brynn felt a little out of sorts. “I’m Nicholas… Nick, by the way.”

She sat and chatted with him and was surprised at how easy it was to talk to him. She tried to leave when his food came, but he insisted that she keep talking. Brynn forgot her nervousness and chatted away about all of the touristy things in the city that there were to do, until suddenly she realized that the lunch crowd had come in full force, and the restaurant was hopping.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I have to help out,” she said jumping up and apologizing. She hadn’t ever been that caught up in conversation that she didn’t know what was going on around her. The hazel and gold in his eyes kept distracting her, as well as his laugh. She immediately felt guilty.

“I’m sorry,” he said looking worried. “Will your boss be mad?”

Brynn laughed. “I’m the boss.”

Nick was stunned and then he smiled a teasing smile. “So you mean, this whole time I was sitting here talking to the boss, and I didn’t know it? Wow. Your employees must think you’re pretty lazy.”

“Yes. They hate me.” Brynn smiled back. She couldn’t remember having this much fun talking to someone in a long time.

“What are you doing tonight?” Nick asked, suddenly serious.

Brynn stood up. “Um, hanging out with my dog, watching Lifetime movies. He’s a big fan.”

“Why don’t you hang out with me? I don’t watch Lifetime movies, but I am fun to spend time with.”

Brynn hesitated.
Why would he want to hang out with me? Who does he think that I am?

“Don’t say no. I’m going to the restroom, and I expect you to be here when I get back telling me what time to pick you up.” As Nick stood up, Brynn realized that he was taller than she originally thought—at least six foot two. Brynn felt her breath catch again. He was casual in jeans and a t-shirt, but she liked the easy way that his body moved. Adam was the only man she had ever been interested in, and Nick definitely unnerved her.

I can’t do this. I can’t spend time with him. I don’t know who he thinks I am, but I’m not someone who just hangs out.

Nick walked into the bathroom and washed his hands. He stared at himself in the mirror and tried to smile.
Damn, I’ve aged. I look terrible.

He thought about Brynn and smiled. She intrigued him. She was the first woman to catch his eye in a long time. She’s funny, but so tentative. She can turn it on and off in a blink.

Nick thought about the past couple of years and how he needed to spend some time with someone who could make him laugh. He had spent time with a lot of women, but none he saw more than once. This one, I would come back to see. This Brynn could be worth it.

But when Nick got back from the bathroom, Brynn was nowhere to be found.

JESSIE WAS IN LOVE
with Adam. She knew it would happen even though she fought it. He was a mess, but she found herself in love with him anyway.

She knew he still loved Brynn, but she ignored it and pretended as though he were in love with her instead. Even when he cried Brynn’s name out in the middle of the night, or called her “Brynn” when he was so drunk that he couldn’t remember the next day, Jessie forgave him.
He’s been through a lot.

When he was sober, he was good to her, but he couldn’t remain sober very long.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry,” he said his blue eyes filling with tears.

“It’s okay,” Jessie said kissing his cheek. “I know you didn’t mean to forget my birthday. You’ve been going through a lot.”

“It’s no excuse. We’ve been together for seven months, and I shouldn’t have forgotten.” Adam was angry with himself. He had never forgotten Brynn’s birthday, and Jessie was so sweet to him. She was so good, and he had completely forgotten. He had gone to the bar right after work for Friday happy hour, and he didn’t even know how he had gotten home.

Jessie was trying hard not to care.

“You shouldn’t have forgotten. But you can make it up to me,” she smiled that toothy smile at him.

“How? How can I make it up to you?” Adam was miserable. He was failing in every way, and he hated himself.

“You can take me out tonight,” Jessie said brightly.

“I would love to. But I can’t. My parents are in town.” Adam was dreading dinner with his parents. They hadn’t been close for a very long time, and he had been avoiding them for as long as he could.

Jessie moved a little closer to him. “Well… I could go with you,” she said hesitantly. “That is, if you think it would be a good idea.”

Adam stepped away. “Oh no. I don’t think that would be a good idea at all. You wouldn’t have fun. You would hate it!”

Jessie frowned. “Am I not good enough to meet your parents?”

“Of course, you are,” Adam said quickly wishing he had a shot. “It’s just them. They loved Brynn, and honestly, I just don’t think that anyone will ever measure up for them. I don’t think that they’re ready.”

Jessie was getting angry now. “All you do is talk about Brynn. But you left her,
twice!
And now, you have me, and you don’t even care that you have me.”

Shit!
Adam was frustrated.
I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and this is why. What am I doing?
“Baby, it’s not about Brynn, or about you. It’s about my parents being frustrated with me. Me! Please stop doing this.”

“Stop doing what? Expecting, demanding, needing?” Jessie’s arms were crossed and Adam thought she looked adorable.

“You look so hot when you’re mad,” he said grabbing her and kissing her neck. He felt her body loosen up a little, and Adam knew that she wasn’t going to stay mad at him for long.

“Stop it,” she said half-heartedly pushing him away.

“I can’t,” Adam mumbled grabbing her and pulling her toward him. “You just make me want you when you look like that.”

Jessie tried to fight him off, but she knew that it just made things more exciting. She didn’t really want him to go away, but she did want to meet his parents. “You just want me when you want sex.”

“That’s not true. But I do want you for sex. I want you for other things, too. Just don’t push me baby.” Adam was too busy with straps and pulling off clothes to continue arguing with her.

Jessie felt her body give into him as it usually did.

She loved him, and there was nothing that either of them could do about it.

BRYNN KNELT
at the tiny gravestone. The fall air was cool at dusk and Brynn had forgotten her jacket. But she didn’t care.

She tried to make it to visit Sophie as often as she could. She couldn’t bear the thought of her being all alone, and Brynn needed to talk to her to help clear her head. She knew it was silly, but the shrink said that if it made her feel better, she should do it.

“I don’t know why I just ran, but I couldn’t help it.” Brynn said, reflecting back on the day’s events. “I haven’t ever been with anyone since your daddy, and I just didn’t know what to do.”

She thought about Nick, the guy from the restaurant, who had looked at her in such a way that her insides felt like jelly. She hadn’t felt like that since she was fifteen, and Adam was passing her notes in class. Even then, it had been different. Young, innocent. She had never had a stranger make her feel that way before.

“I know that I shouldn’t have run away. I should have stayed. I should have made a new friend. The shrink says that I should be open to meeting new people, making new friends, blah, blah, blah.” Brynn made a face as she pulled her dark hair back. She liked her shrink, but she was tired of seeing him every other week.
I’ve been in therapy all my life. When am I going to be normal? When can I stop?

Brynn sat, caressing the smooth stone with her fingers. “Sophie, Sophie, Sophie. Why did you leave me? Why did you have to go so soon?” Brynn felt the pain welling up in her chest. Just let it out, let it go. There’s no one here to see. You can just cry.

The tears fell silently down her cheeks, but Brynn refused to make a sound.
If I make a noise, I will scream. I will scream, and I will never stop screaming.

The tears were so hot that Brynn thought she would see steam coming off her cold cheeks. She cursed herself for forgetting a jacket for the hundredth time.
I really need to start keeping one in my car.

Brynn sat in silence for what felt like an hour. She didn’t want to go back to the restaurant. She didn’t want to go to the empty house that wasn’t going to be hers anymore. She had nowhere to go and no one to see.

“I should be going home to you and to your Daddy,” Brynn said softly. “But all that I have left now is Maxie. How did this become my life? How did I get to be so alone?”

The silence around her resonated, and Brynn felt the temperature dropping rapidly. She wanted to stay, but her fingers were turning numb. She stood up hating to leave. “I’ll be back tomorrow, sweet girl. Mommy loves you.” Brynn kissed her fingers and touched the smooth stone, imagining for one second that she was kissing Sophie’s sweet face.

When she got in the car to warm up, she realized there was a message on her phone.

“Brynn-You left your purse at the restaurant. Again. XO, Jane”

“Damn.” Brynn hated how forgetful she was becoming. She sighed and turned her car toward the restaurant.

When she walked in, Jane met her at the door.

“Look who came back,” Jane said with a sly smile as she motioned toward one of the booths.

“Oh no,” Brynn said, horrified.

Nick was sitting in the booth wearing a hunter green sweater and jeans. Brynn knew without getting close that the sweater would bring out the green in his eyes, and she felt her stomach flip flop without her permission.

“I’ve been at t-t-the…” Brynn stuttered.

“I know where you’ve been. You only go to two places and home. Here is your purse. Now go into your office and clean yourself up.” Jane ordered.