Losing Faith (Surfers Way) (18 page)

What just happened? Why did she run? Was it something I said?

I pull out my phone and call Quade.

“Hey,” he yells, the roar of the lawnmower muffling his voice.

“I saw Mack,” I choke out.

“Huh?” The engine dies.

“Quade, I didn’t imagine it. I saw her for real this time. She’s back in Runaway.”

“So you had a chat then?”

“Before I got the chance, she ran. Why would she run from me?” Tears prick at my eyes. I should be elated to finally see her, but it’s the total opposite. My heart has sunk in my chest.

“I dunno. Maybe she didn’t see you?”

If only that were true
. “She did. She looked me right in the eye. I just don’t get it.”

“I’m sure there’s some explanation. Maybe she just wasn’t ready. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen each other. Maybe she feels bad about not being in contact.”

“I guess you’re right.” What else can I say? “I’ll let you get back to mowing the lawn, then.”

“Don’t stress over it, Lace. I’ll pick you up after work.”

We say our goodbyes, but I can’t let the issue go. I search through the contacts in my phone. A heavy breath shoots from my mouth when I find Byron’s number still in there.
Thank God
. I need to make sure Mack’s okay. Surely if they’re dating now he can help me get back in touch with her? I flick him a text, hoping that this number is still current.

Me: Hey Byron. It’s Lacey. I just saw Mack in Runaway. Need to make sure she’s okay but I don’t have her new number. Can you please send it to me? Thanks

A moment later, I get a response. It’s a contact from Byron labelled “M”.

I could call her.
I should
, but if she couldn’t talk to me on the street, I think a text should be my first attempt. She can take it or leave it. If she was to hang up on me, I don’t think I could handle it.

Me: Hey. It’s Lacey. I got your number from Byron. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.

With a shaking hand I put my phone away.

I stare back out at the railing where she was standing just moments before, wishing I knew the truth.

Thursday afternoon, I get to the school a few minutes before half past three.
Much better for my anxiety levels.
Quade and I have barely seen each other since the weekend because he’s been crazy busy doing something with the school’s Personal Development and Health syllabus. It was about time I finally cleaned my room anyhow. Mum said that the cockroaches would be disappointed they no longer had so many places to hide. Just the thought of cockroaches makes me gag. Surely she was kidding?

“How was work?” I ask Quade as I push off the bonnet of his car. He pecks me on the lips and clicks his remote to unlock his truck.

“I’ve been battling the affections of seven-year-old girls all day. I’m exhausted.”

“Aw, you poor thing. Sounds like a hard job,” I tease and pout my lips at him as we get inside the vehicle.

“You seriously have no idea, Lace. I don’t know how many times I heard ‘Mr Kelly’ today. I swear I have whiplash from turning my head every which way.”

I laugh as we pull away from the curb and head in the direction of Quade’s place.

“How about a little massage later, to ease the tension?” I offer.

“Now we’re talking, but I’ve got a surprise for you first,” he says, trying his best to hide a cheeky smile as he concentrates on the road.

“You do, huh?” Hmm, a romantic picnic on the beach perhaps? A night in? Another candle lit dinner? On second thoughts, candles and I don’t mix. I think a night in would be perfect.

“Yup,” he says and nods.

“Let me guess. Movie night with a big bowl of caramel popcorn, and later I’ll kick your arse in Uno?”

“Later, definitely, but first, we’re going for a drive.”

“Nice. Where are we driving? Not Sanders Beach, I hope.”

He laughs. “
Definitely
not Sanders Beach. Anyway, I won’t be the one driving. You will.” Quade pulls up on the street out the front of my house and shuts off the engine. “Come on.” He opens his car door and jogs around and lets me out. Blue eyes sparkle as he offers me his hand. I take it and let him lead me up the driveway towards the Speed Demon.

Gulp.
How can I get out of this? It’s been years since I’ve turned the ignition. I bet it won’t even start.

“Um, last time I drove it the brakes weren’t that good and … yeah, it’d have a flat battery for sure.”

“Your dad had a mobile mechanic come and fix them while you were at work yesterday, and I gave the car a bit of a detail.”

Quade had taken a few calls the other day and excused himself, mouthing
work
to me. I’d thought it might’ve had to do with my birthday tomorrow, but maybe they were all about the car. Would he even remember that tomorrow is my birthday?

“You and Dad did all that for me?” I surprise myself with the high pitch to my voice.

“Of course we did. I have to tell you though, I can handle the odd creepy-crawly but what the hell is with all the spiders around your place?”

“They’re the creepy part of our family. We can’t seem to shake them. They like cars,” I say with a shrug.

Quade hands me the keys, with the familiar silver L keychain.

With shaking hands, I turn the key and unlock the vehicle, opening the door. The distinct smell of fresh pine hits me at full force. We both get inside.
This is so weird. Can I really do this?

I grip the steering wheel and turn to Quade, begging with my eyes for him to reconsider.

“Turn the key, Lace,” he says in a firm voice.

I turn to face him and give him a look that might as well say “
last chance to reconsider
”. “You know I’m putting your life at risk, right?”

“Lace,” he groans.

“Fine,” I whisper. I check my mirrors, put my foot on the brake and put the car in neutral. My hand shakes as I turn the key. My heart races in my chest. Can I do this? It’s been so long.

The engine purrs, no sign of the rattle that once plagued my driving lessons.

“Good, now just take your time reversing and remember my baby is on the street.” I don’t miss the nervous edge to his voice.

“I’m not gonna hit your precious car, Quade,” I whine.

I depress the clutch pedal, and slowly let it out as I accelerate. The car revs, but doesn’t move.

“Handbrake, Lace.” Quade chuckles.

“God,” I say, covering my blushing face with my hands. “Save yourself now, Quade. I’m a hopeless case.”

Quade sweeps my fingers from my face. He leans over and plants his lips against mine, kissing me until the anxiety plaguing my mind starts to fade.
Now I’m blushing for another reason.

“I believe in you,” he says against my mouth. “You just have to try. I’m here, and I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

I huff out a loud breath and peck him on the lips. I can’t believe he’s doing this for me. With a deep breath, I suck in some courage.
I can do this
.

“Thank you. I just hope those aren’t the famous last words of Quade Kelly,” I tease.

I take off the handbrake and roll the car back onto the street. The car bunny-hops down the road until my brain remembers you have to do stuff with the clutch.

We drive past his house and through a few connecting streets.
I’m doing it.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a young boy, probably about six or seven, riding a bike in his driveway, I slow right down, watching him out my window and then in my mirror as long as I can see him.

“You can go faster, Lace. The limit is sixty here.”

“Yeah, I know, but there are kids out today.”

“Got news for you. Kids are out every single day.”

“Be quiet. I know that.”

We take a trip around the quiet lanes, which suits me fine.

“How about we head down to The Strip?” Quade suggests.

Where someone I know will see me and I’ll get all distracted and crash into the ocean somehow?
“Nah, not today.”

“Okay, well how about we take a left and we’ll head down to the school?”

I practise some parallel parking by the main pedestrian crossing, and then I work on my three-point turns in the car park near the oval. After I seem to get the hang of it, Quade directs me to take the bend which travels up and around the lookout, past all the multi-million dollar homes on the hill with their equally rich views. I have to swallow down when we pass his parents’ place.

The road narrows as the trees close in around us as we climb up the hill. I take it slow to avoid the potholes and the erosion along the side of the road. The occasional spider webs gleam with the afternoon sun behind them.
Bloody spiders.

“You know I think I’ve actually got the hang of it,” I boast.

“You could drive before, Lace. Don’t forget that, but yes. You’re nailing it. We just need to work on your speed, Grandma.”

“Hey! Who you calling Grandma?” I screech and turn to scowl at him.

He chuckles and then looks ahead and points at the road. “Lace!” he yells.

A grey blur hops into my vision and jumps right in front of my car.

“Ah!” I cry out as I slam on the brakes, gripping the wheel.

Quade’s hands slap against the dash. His upper body jerks forward. I grit my teeth as the car comes to a grinding halt.

Bam!
Quade’s head connects with the dash. By some miracle, my head doesn’t hit the steering wheel. The car stalls. The kangaroo stills at the side of the road, staring at us. Heavy breathing fills the small space as I process what just happened.

First day back in the driver’s seat. Nearly kill wildlife.
Fail.

“Geez, Lace. You almost knocked my teeth out,” Quade says, rubbing his straightened fingers across his forehead.

Add to the list—nearly cause serious dental bill for beloved boyfriend.

The animal, unfazed, continues its journey, disappearing into the scrub. Oh God, I could’ve killed it.

“I-I’m sorry,” I say, pointing to the trees and gasping for breath.

“You really want a boyfriend with a gappy smile?” he continues.

“I panicked. What the hell is a ’roo doing jumping around on the road? Up here of all places?”

“Good reflexes, but you can’t jam on the brake like that. You’ll cause an accident.”

“My heart is beating like crazy,” I tell him as I place my hand over my heart, feeling the pulsing of it against my ribcage.

A warm hand covers mine, and I look over to a pair of cool blue eyes, which carry a calm that I try to draw on as I stare into them.

“Do you want me to drive back?” he offers.

“I think I’ll be okay. Just need a sec.”

---

When we get back to my place, the adrenaline in my veins isn’t pumping as hard as it was on the hill. My heart tingles with pride. I did it. I actually got into a car and drove.
Thanks to Quade.
I’d built it up as such a big obstacle in my head.

I turn off the engine and pull the handbrake on.

“You did good, Lace,” Quade says, unbuckling his seat belt.

“Do you reckon?” I ask, hoping he’ll be honest with me.

“We’re both still alive, the car is intact, and so is Skippy the bush kangaroo. That’s good in my books.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I let out a heavy sigh. “Do you wanna come in for a while?”

“I’d love to, but I can’t. I’ve got reports to finish up, but I promise I’ll be back tomorrow arvo at four o’clock for lesson two.”

“You mean you’re volunteering your life again?”

“Yup.”

“And how do you know I’m available tomorrow afternoon?” I am until six, anyway.

He leans in close and taps my nose with his finger. “Because your father said you’re not working.”

How often are Quade and my father talking on the side? What else are they chatting about?

“Oh. Well I guess I’ll make myself available for you.”

I wave to Quade as he pulls away in his truck and walk inside the main house. The smell akin to a good bakery hits my senses the moment I walk into the house.
She’s not, is she?

I find Mum fussing around in the kitchen with her hair tied up, and her white apron with smears of chocolate all over it. Bowls and dishes are stacked high in the sink, and flour, chocolate shards and measuring cups are scattered over the bench top.

Normal kids my age can’t wait to turn twenty-one. Not me. Mack, Faith and I were going to celebrate it in style with a huge joint party. Now, I don’t even want to acknowledge the special day, because I get to turn twenty-one and Faith doesn’t.

“How did the lesson go?” Mum asks, as she fills up the kettle with water from the tap.

“Not bad.” I shrug.

A smug smile passes over her lips. I bet she’s busting to say “I told you so” after her and Dad have nagged me for years, promising that it wouldn’t be as daunting as I thought. Funny how Quade suggests it and I put up much less of a fight. I guess I was just used to saying no to them. It became an automatic response.

“You seeing Quade tomorrow?” she asks, as she places two teacups in a cleared space near the kettle.

Thank you for no “I told you so”.

“Yeah, we’re having another lesson. I don’t think he knows it’s my birthday, though.”

Mum huffs and clangs the metal bowls as she puts them in the sink. “Don’t you young people talk to each other?”

As if I want to remind him of my birthday, which will just bring up the fact that his sister’s birthday is three days later. I don’t need to draw extra attention to it.

“We do, it’s just … Mum, I said I didn’t want a big deal,” I grumble as I take a seat on a timber stool. Tomorrow will be a non-event, and I’m okay with that. I should use the morning to start looking for a job. It’s time to seriously think about my future. “Just a night where I get to have dinner with both you and Dad is all I want.”

“Sweetheart, I made a cake. That’s not a big deal, and your father and I are having dinner with you tomorrow, as promised, but there are other people in your life who want to celebrate with you—people who love you, Lacey. Please don’t shut them out.”

I rest my elbows on the table and look into her hazel eyes which beg me to give in, to let her have this celebration. I guess I should look at it in the light that she has a daughter to celebrate with.

“Just a few others, Lacey. Please let me do this for you.”

I reach across and take her hand. There’s no point being stubborn. This is important to my mother, more so than it is to me, so I can’t deny her. “Okay, Mum,” I whisper.

Her wide smile creates crinkles at the sides of her hazel eyes. “Great, that’s settled then. We’ll leave at six.”