Losing Lila (12 page)

Mrs Johnson observed me for a moment. ‘You poor child,’ she said at last. ‘What they did to your mama.’ She shook her head and reached into her handbag for a handkerchief. ‘It’s a crime. That’s what it is. You need my help, Nate’s asked me to come down here, so my help’s what you gonna get.’

She rounded quickly on Key. ‘But I’m expecting to see one of those big drinks with the little bitty umbrellas and the cherries on sticks waiting for me on the balcony when I get to the Hilton. I want a vacation that’s going to make even Mrs Williams stop talking about that badass boy Marlon Junior and that vacation he took her on to Florida last Christmas.’

With a monumental effort, Key kept his mouth shut and nodded. Mrs Johnson turned her round body towards Demos. ‘Now you tell me who I’ve got to work on first.’

Demos nodded his head in Carlos’s direction. ‘I’m going to let him go. Be ready.’

‘Lord have mercy,’ she muttered as she shuffled over to the table. She put her handbag down and I hoped she hadn’t noticed the white powder it was now resting in. She reached across the table, muttering to herself in distaste, and put her hand on Carlos’s temple, like she was being forced to touch a dead rattlesnake.

I saw Alex move quickly to stand behind Carlos and wondered what he was doing. ‘OK,’ he said.

Carlos snapped into consciousness, immediately trying to pull back from the ginormous woman in her Sunday best who had appeared from nowhere and who was now holding his head like it was a bowling ball she was about to slam for a strike. Alex rammed him down into his seat, holding his shoulders so he couldn’t move. Mrs Johnson didn’t let go either. I saw Carlos’s eyes go wide then start to turn dreamy.

After five seconds Mrs Johnson said, ‘OK, you can freeze him up again or whatever in the name of Jesus it is you’re doing. No point in me doing this if you’re just going to let him see you all again, is there?’

She shuffled over to the other men and with each one the episode was repeated until the three of them had their memories wiped as clean as a disinfected surface.

When they reached tank man, Alex paused. ‘Lila, I’m going to need some help on this one. Can you hold his arms?’

I looked at the arms, like uprooted tree trunks. ‘I’ll give it a go.’

I focused on the arms, imagining they were just sticks, twigs even. When Demos unfroze him, he made an instant lunge and Mrs Johnson went skittering backwards. It was like wrestling against the tide, but then I got him under control, pinning his arms to his side. I noticed Harvey and Alicia glancing at me. They hadn’t known quite the extent of my power – that I could move people now as well as objects. I wondered whether I was a whole new category of subhuman. I wasn’t quite like Demos, but I knew Harvey and Bill couldn’t move people.

‘Right, let’s go,’ Alicia said once Mrs Johnson had finished wiping memories.

Key moved to escort his mother out of the building. She was still talking about Acapulco as he pushed her into the van.

We followed after them, leaving Demos inside to hold them all until we got clear. Suki pulled up in the car and Alex and I jumped in. I turned round and checked the trunk. We were in possession of several hundred kilos of cocaine and what was probably well over a million dollars. Demos climbed into the back next to me.

‘I love it when a plan comes together,’ he said, winking at me.

‘I am very annoyed that I didn’t get to meet this Mr Carlos,’ Suki huffed, sticking out her bottom lip.

‘Don’t be,’ I said as I dropped the last bag of drugs on the floor of the hotel room we’d rented using some of the money we’d stolen. We’d gone up in the world, taking over the entire penthouse floor of the Four Seasons hotel.

‘Why did Alicia get to see inside his head? I wanted to do that.’

‘Because, Suki, Alicia can speak Spanish and you can’t.’

She grunted. ‘I know how to say
culo
.’ She pouted some more. ‘I always miss out on the fun bits,’ and then she started rifling through the white and green bundles stacked on the table.

Harvey and Demos were making neat towers of the money and the drugs, counting it out and weighing it. It was more than we’d ever hoped to get. More than we would need.

Suki read my mind instantly. ‘Does this mean there’s going to be money left over for some shopping?’ she asked Demos. ‘Because I need new shoes.’

Demos chuckled, which was a sound I’d never heard him make before. It almost made me smile to hear it. ‘Suki, you’ve almost as many shoes as Imelda Marcos.’

‘Who?’ she demanded jealously.

‘We didn’t tell you,’ Harvey said, ‘but the reason we got rid of the RV was because you’d turned it into a giant dressing-up box.’

Everyone burst out laughing as Suki stood glaring in the centre of the room. Maybe it was the tension evaporating, maybe it felt good to laugh, but I couldn’t join in. I got up instead and went to find the bathroom.

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection, at my elfin cropped hair and the dark smudges of shadow under my eyes. Would I ever look like a happy, normal, well-rested seventeen-year-old girl again or was that girl gone forever? I was about to turn the tap on when I heard Demos’s voice on the other side of the door. I tiptoed over and pressed my ear to the wood panel.

‘You heard something, didn’t you?’ he was saying. ‘When you read Thomas’s mind – what did you hear?’

I heard someone take a breath. ‘It wasn’t what I heard – it was what I saw.’

It was Alicia talking. I strained harder to hear her, hoping she wouldn’t pick up on my proximity.

‘Demos – it was awful,’ she said. ‘Like he’s trapped in some nightmare – there were just fragmented pictures, images of things that they did to him. I can’t even explain it – I’m not sure what they mean. I just saw white rooms and flashes of faces. The things they’re doing in there – I could just hear screaming. It brings it all back.’ Her voice became muffled as if Demos had taken her in his arms. ‘That could have been me,’ she murmured.

‘Did you see Melissa?’ Demos asked.

‘Yes,’ I heard Alicia say, more clearly now. ‘I saw her.’

My whole body went rigid, my heart hammering so wildly I was sure that Alicia would hear it.

‘Is she OK?’ Demos asked.

Alicia paused again. I heard her sigh. ‘No, Demos, she’s not OK. We need to get her out of there.’

I closed my eyes and was aware that they’d both fallen silent on the other side of the door. I held my breath and waited a full minute trying to compose myself. When I left the bathroom, Demos was standing just outside, leaning against the wall, waiting for me.

‘Hi,’ I said, jumping half out of my skin. I hadn’t expected him to still be there.

‘You heard,’ he said by way of reply. His face was heavily shadowed in the gloomy hallway.

‘Maybe,’ I shrugged.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘You know,’ I said, swallowing what felt like a golf ball that was lodged in my throat, ‘it’s not your fault. What Amber said earlier – it isn’t true. She just wants someone to blame and you’re the nearest person. But none of us think it’s true.’

Demos studied me for a few seconds. ‘I don’t know, Lila, maybe she’s right. This did all start because I wanted revenge for what they had done to your mother. What am I doing asking the others to help me now – after what’s happened to Ryder and to Thomas?’

‘I don’t believe you ever asked us, Demos. We don’t need asking. This is not your personal battle – it belongs to all of us. It’s our fight. All of ours.’ I remembered Alex’s words earlier.

Demos still didn’t say anything. ‘We’re going to win,’ I said quietly, the conviction in my voice surprising me.

I realised I was saying it, forcing myself to believe it, because losing wasn’t an option.

Alex was staring at the clock on the mantelpiece, his chin resting on his hands, when Demos and I walked back into the living room, but as soon as he saw me he stood up.

I guessed time was up. I slowed my pace, trying to stretch out these last seconds. My legs started to shake. How was I supposed to say goodbye this time? And with an audience? I could sense everyone staring at me.

I kept my eyes locked on Alex. He was wearing a V-necked black T-shirt and dark jeans, his blue eyes studying me, a thousand different emotions passing behind them which I could read as easily as if I was Suki. With a shock, I realised that either Alex was losing his ability to look inscrutable or I was just getting better at reading him. Either way I preferred it.

He was going to travel by car with the others back over the border. They would be able to bypass border control while Demos froze the guards. The Unit would be watching the airports. They had to see me arrive on my own. My story had to hold water.

Alex walked over to me, took me by the hand and led me away from the others. ‘Please don’t do anything impulsive,’ he said, once we were alone in the hallway.

‘Impulsive? Me?’ I tried my innocent face.

He smiled ruefully. ‘You know what I’m saying.’

‘OK, I promise you. Nothing remotely reckless,’ I said, stroking up his arm. The bandage was off, but the cut he’d made to remove the tracking device hadn’t yet healed. There was a thin red scab across his tattoo.

‘Remember your first day at elementary school?’ Alex suddenly asked.

My hand stilled on his arm. ‘Yeah,’ I said, frowning up at him. Why was he bringing that up?

‘You were really scared,’ he said, seeing my confused expression. ‘Do you remember? You didn’t want to go. But you didn’t want your mum or dad or anyone else to walk you in either. You insisted on going all by yourself.’

I frowned some more. I did remember. I remembered how determined I’d been not to look like a little kid. I also remembered I was wearing a Harry Potter backpack. The memory made me cringe. There I was, standing knock-kneed on the steps, looking up at the school building, trying to will myself to walk through the doors as hundreds of older kids barged past me. It had been terrifying.

‘We were there,’ Alex said, interrupting the horror show in my head. I frowned at him some more. ‘Jack and I,’ he continued. ‘We were watching you the whole time, hiding behind some cars in the teachers’ lot. We were watching you from the minute you got off the bus. You had a Harry Potter backpack on, and some kid said something about it – teased you.’

They were there? Alex saw that?

‘Jack wanted to leap out from behind the car and beat the kid up, but I held him back. And you said something to that kid anyway and he walked off looking like you’d just told him zombies had eaten his pet dog.’

I laughed under my breath. He was right. That
had
happened. Though not the zombie put-down part.

‘And then you walked up those steps and in through the door without once looking back. And as far as I recall, you made it through the rest of the year in one piece.’

I shook my head at Alex in silent wonder, still not quite believing he had either been there or that he remembered it. He smiled at me. ‘And when you were eleven, on Halloween you went out trick or treating with some friends.’

I felt a twist in my gut at the memory of having had friends, of having once lived a normal life, doing normal kid things. I had unwrapped presents under a tree once upon a time with my family, had eaten turkey at Thanksgiving and even had sleepovers involving ice cream and Hannah Montana. The memories were so vague and foggy they didn’t feel real. It was more like remembering a show I’d once watched on the Disney Channel.

‘You were dressed as a pirate,’ Alex said. I blinked at him, speechless.

‘Jack and I tailed you all the way down the block and around the neighbourhood. He was dressed as Nacho Libre.’

I burst out laughing. ‘What were you?’

‘The Joker. From
Batman
.’

‘Why were you following me?’ I asked, though I already knew.

‘To steal your candy,’ Alex answered, smiling before his expression turned serious once more. He raised his eyebrows. ‘Why do you think?’

I shrugged. ‘Because you’re both overprotective to the point of needing treatment for OCD?’

He contemplated me for a moment, then took a step closer so I could make out the day’s stubble on his jaw and feel the warmth radiating from him. ‘What I’m trying to tell you, Lila,’ he said, his voice husky in his throat, ‘is that I’ve always been there, looking out for you, even when you didn’t know it – even when you couldn’t see me.’

My stomach flipped. Alex took hold of my hands and squeezed. ‘Nothing’s changed. I’ll be right there, I promise. You might not be able to see me, but I’ll be there.’

I made it through immigration and saw that Alex had been right. The tail wasn’t even subtle. A man in black combats followed me out of the terminal, practically stepping on my heels. The Unit seriously needed to work on its camouflage uniform and undercover routines, but then again, I supposed they didn’t care about blending in or being subtle. This man wanted me to see him and for me to know that I was being followed. But I did what I’d been told and pretended to be oblivious, hailing a taxi to take me straight to the base.

At the gate to Camp Pendleton an armed Marine leaned in the window and asked what I was there for.

‘I’m Lila Loveday. I’m Lieutenant Jack Loveday’s sister,’ I said, giving Jack his full title. ‘I think he’s here. I need to get onto the base to see him.’

He walked away and conferred over a radio with someone and a few seconds later I got waved through in my yellow taxi. The building was a way onto the base. It rose up like a square, mirrored fortress and I took a couple of deep breaths when I got out of the cab, my legs feeling suddenly elastic, incapable of propelling me forward towards it. But my mum was somewhere inside that building so I got a grip and forced myself to walk.

The pod doors at the front of the building were swishing open. I half expected to see Rachel sashaying through them just like she had the last time I’d been here. How I’d hated her instantly. And not just because of the infinite supermodel legs, symmetrically perfect face and the way she’d practically poured herself over Alex like she was the hot sauce and he was a nice juicy steak. I hadn’t liked her because I had good instincts. From now on I was going to start trusting them.